A/N:

We maaaaaade it :D! 100! Yeeeeey!

Thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing, we're both so flattered that you've created our triple figure reviews! So thank you so much :D We sound a little like a broken record now but it really does mean a lot to us!

So you're all screaming out for angst now right? Just remember that :P we're not quite there yet though – Brendan needed some happiness too!

Chapter Warning:

A large helping of smut, and some angsty undertones, and another rather long chapter!

Chapter Ten – Brendan Brady.

"You like the view huh?" I whisper.

I rest my head into the crook of his neck. His face is cold from the winter air, but his body is so warm under the duvet.

I trail a tongue across his shoulder bones, taste the scent of us, breathe in his heated post-sleep skin.

"Hey, you."

As we make eye contact he smiles - he's been doing a lot of that recently, these last four days with me.

He strokes a hand down my chin, little finger drifting over my tash. I wrap my arm around his hip.

"Thought you were sleepin'," he says.

"I was," I say – I've been doin' a lot of that recently – surprisingly. I guess it's easier to sleep with a warm body next to yours.

He shucks up further into my embrace, that naked, delectable arse right by my cock. Then again, maybe my new healthier sleep routine has something to do with all the exercise I've been getting recently – every morning and every evening.

I stroke my hand over his abs, knowing they'll be flexing and relaxing like that – our bodies so in tune.

"Yeah the view," he plays – try'na pretend he's not as awake as I can feel he is. "It's proper good."

These massive bay windows, that were Eileen's only request, wrap around the three sides of the room, reach floor to ceiling. We sleep with the white linen curtains tied back - you can see the entire city and right into the distance. And this crystal clear evening I have to concede that it looks perfect. City lights shine so much brighter at this time of year. The right side of Steven's face blocks half my night time view, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

"What can you see?" I smile, pressing my lips to the soft part of his neck, trailing up to the back of his ear.

I slide my thumb up into the crescent of that beautiful arse. Jesus he's still so open for me, his body remembering last night's touches - this time he's not even gonna need lube.

"Erm, I can ah!" He cries as my thumb slips easily right into him.

God I fucking love that sound. How can I have had him twenty times in the last four days and still want so much more, so badly? Letting him go to his uncle this evening will be the hardest thing – whether the consequences will be good or not.

It's been a crazy week, beyond the sex. All four of us have had so many good times together – Christmas tree decorating, carol singing, museum visiting, film seeing, and hot chocolate drinking – a lot of hot chocolate drinking. The twins' smiles have done nothing but grow, and Steven looks more relaxed than I've ever seen him. And yeah, I guess I'm kinda happy too.

"Shall I tell you what I can see?" I ask stroking my free hand over his chin, making sure he keeps looking out as I touch him, slowly open his relaxed muscles.

"Do you see that square of lights? With the red bottom? That's the ice rink we took the twins to," I say, remembering how fuckin' adorable Steven looked as he tottered about on skates for the first time.

Silently he welcomes my body - widening his legs, turning more onto his front, so I have a better access to that fucking amazing arse.

"And the line of silver and gold just along – that's that Christmas market." I tell him, as I release his chin to grab for the condom - slide it on.

"And the gold with the green trim, just there? That's the church," with my face rested against his I can feel him smile, "yeah where we went to the carol concert."

"Once in Royal David's City stood-" he starts singing quietly - the bloody irritating song Leah was singing on loop.

"Shut up," I say, biting the lobe of his ear.

This boy can do a lot of things but singing is not one of his talents, and he knows it.

"You want a different one? Ooh I wish it could be Christmas every daaaay-"

He's teasing me – trying to put me off, but nothing will ever put me off him. With my hand on his chin I roughly angle his face towards mine. He moans, desperate and wicked and I steal it in a possessive kiss. As I separate his lips with my tongue he keens, that noise he knows goes straight to my cock, and I reward him with another finger.

His lips tremble as I pull away. In the dark all I can see are those bee stung lips and the flutter of those beautiful eyelashes. God he really doesn't know he's this beautiful. I angle his face away to the nightscape. I worship the shine of the lights over his smooth skin – nightlights will never look the same again.

"Keep looking," I command.

But right next to the lights from St Johns is a serpent of blue and red that I don't want him looking anywhere near – it's the estate. So I indicate something at the top left, just beyond the horizon.

"That line of yellow there, right in the distance, eight lights in a row, that's the river at Deeside. Have you ever been?"

It's a gamble - I don't know if these are gonna be happy memories or not. But from what he told me swimming was normally an activity he did with Tony so I think it's a risk I can take.

"A couple of times," he says, and there's a feint smile on his lips.

Good.

"I'm gonna take you there one day, Steven. I wanna fuck you in the water," I paint a fantasy.

A thrill passes straight through his body and I can feel it with every inch of mine. I know he's ready for me now.

I pull my hand away and press right against him, my cock seeking the salvation it finds in his warmth.

"You'd love it," I breathe.

I enter him and steal that breath from his lips.

"It's like the swimming pool," I tell him remembering how alive he was when I finally took him there yesterday.

Our sighs are reciprocated as I'm finally in deep.

"Only much, much better."

"Fuck, Bren!" He keens, arching up into me, "you feel proper incredible."

"It's cos you're so relaxed," I breathe.

I stroke a hand over his hip, my fingertips playing lightly with his hard cock.

"I'm inside you so deep right now," I say feeling my balls brush gently against those perfect cheeks, "this is gonna take me a moment, and if you last out, if you let me come before you, I'll reward you."

This fuckin' cheeky beam plays against his lips – I swear it shines.

"How you gonna do that?"

I lean a little over him, so my mouth is over by his ear, lather my voice with the Irish

"I'll suck you off," I promise him.

His eyes widen, before they flutter closed. His lips part for this incredible fucking noise of surprise, desperation, sheer excitement. I haven't done it yet – the amount of times he's done it to me and I haven't returned the favour. And God I need to tonight, before I lose him from my bed. I need to know everything about him - I will keep his presence here in memories.

"So keep looking," I say, stroking my fingertips lightly over his eyelids, feeling the flutter of those eyelashes against my skin.

"What at?" He beams, enjoying our game, as I keep my thrusts within him gentle and slow.

"Down there, bottom left, the green triangle – that's the cafe we were gonna go just you and me." The day before last, when we called the babysitter in for two hours.

"Our date?" He beams.

"Yeah," I say lightly - how the boy could have translated a quick coffee and cake as a date I've not worked out yet.

"So that there, is the alley way, right?"

"Jesus – yes!"

"It were pretty good there innit?" He says his voice dressed in teasing tones. "And you thought you were gonna last till we got home. God it was so fucking amazing Bren right? I'm so fucking glad you didn't."

His face tilts towards me, he's dipping his accent into the scally and he's smiling - he knows exactly what he's doing.

"It was proper the best fucking date ever innit? Never had so much fun, me."

He's talking to bring me off. He knows the power of this act of his. So I grip my nails into the jut of his hips, work my thrusts harder and he moans and keeps telling me and telling me about the alley way - about how good it felt to be fucked by me there, to feel the winter sun on his skin when I was inside him; how exciting it was to trust me to know we were private, and yet still be able to hear people talking; how it felt like he was gonna come forever.

"Jesus, Steven," I spill into him with his name against my lips.

As I withdraw he bites his lip and beams - he's won the challenge.

I yank his legs apart, pulling him onto his back. His cock so hard and deliciously shining in the early morning light. I run my tongue up the inside of his thighs, my tash scratches over his balls.

"Keep telling me what you see," I tell him.

He smiles for a moment before talking, "directly over, same level, one yellow light right? I think that's the skate park innit?... I had my first kiss there… It were fun, just messin', it was a boy I knew from school, Mark."

I lift my head to stare at him - he's thinking about others now? Right now? But I can see in the intensity of his gaze that his minds nowhere but me and these recollections are designed to make me jealous. It won't work. I lick over the head of his cock, watch his hips arch into the bed.

"Eight years ago." Steven continues like I'm not even affecting him – but I know his body so well now. "He reckons he's a bit of a player now, bi - has all these one night stands, and he's given himself a proper ridiculous nickname like Digger or sommit. He's still pretty hot though. He was dead go- OUCH!" He yelps as my teeth leave his hip.

"Stop messin'" I order.

"Why? Not jealous are you?"

"Look at me," I say leaning up for a second to wave a hand down my torso, "do you think I ever get jealous?"

And then I deep throat him quickly, show him how good I am. His fingers twist in my hair as expletives fall from his lips.

His hips bend and arch into the bed, all these fucking amazing sounds painting my room.

Eventually his eyes flash back over to the windows.

"Yeah so that's the skate park, and just below that, the big building in shadow – that's where you saved me."

***K&M****

They're all sat in front of the telly, The Rugrats, Steven's favourite cartoon is on. They're all laughing. Leah's starting up her millionth pillow fight with Lucas. They look like a family. And they look like they're at home you know.

The moment Steven sees me he sits up, takes his feet off the table, this look on his face like I've chastised him – and I told him not to put his trainers on the lounge table but it doesn't matter that much. So when I've sat down, I take hold of his calves and rest them over my lap. Dismiss his "You're dead sweet" look.

"Right, you three stay 'ere, I'm gonna make us some brekkie," Steven announces swinging his legs off my lap. "What do you's all want?"

"Toast with chocolate spread!" Leah shouts.

"I want toast cut into triangles." Lucas adds thinking about it carefully. "One triangle with chocolate spread, one with honey, one with peanut butter and one with jam."

"Right, ok." Steven rolls his eyes at me smiling "And you Mr Brady, Sir" he puts on this posh voice "What would you like this morning?"

"Steven, you don't have to make me breakfast every morning," I say getting up.

"No, right, sit down. I don't mind, me."

I watch him go off into the kitchen and I sit and play with the kids whilst Steven cooks us breakfast. Like it's the most natural thing in the world – having them all here.

After we eat another amazing breakfast Leah and Lucas go upstairs to get dressed. Leah comes down with a little bag.

"Look Ste, I found this! We can do face painting now!" she says excitedly.

"Er, Leah, you know you shouldn't go lookin' through other peoples stuff." Steven looks at me. "Sorry Bren."

"I wasn't! I was just looking for some hair bobbles and I found it," she says sticking out her bottom lip and looking at the floor.

I look at the small floral bag that Leah is holding and I feel the blood slowly start to drain my face as I realise it must be Lynsey's. I didn't even know it was still there. I thought I had boxed up all of her stuff after she….left. I feel a pang of sadness as I look at it. I don't want Leah to notice so I quickly pull myself together and Give Steven a small smile to let him know it's ok.

"It must have been Lynsey's make-up bag. I didn't know it was still there. It doesn't matter." I shrug at him.

"Hey, it's alright princess," I tell her lifting her chin up with my finger. "We can do face painting if you like, yeah. What do ye want to be?"

She beams at me but then shakes her head. "I don't want my face painted. I want to paint yours! So you look like a princess," she giggles.

"Yeah Mr Brady would love that, wouldn't ya?! Mr Brady loves havin' is make-up done like a princess, don't ya?!" Steven taunts me.

I glare at Steven but that only makes him encourage Leah further.

I look between them and realise that I'm not going to be getting out of this one so I hold my hands up in defeat.

"Alright, alright. Ye can make me look like a princess."

I sit back and let Leah start work whilst Steven goes up to play with Lucas.

"Right, keep still," she tells me as she climbs up and sits on my knee facing me. She starts sweeping some translucent powder over my face. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her tongue is sticking out as she concentrates.

"Close your eyes now, please." I do as I'm told and it feels like she's drawing around my eyes with a pencil. Badly.

Jesus.

"I hope you like purple, Mr Brady," she says as I feel a brush being swept over my eyelids, right up to my eyebrows.

Jesus.

"Yes sweetheart, it's one of my favourite colours." I smile.

"You can open your eyes now" she tells me, "but I haven't finished yet."

She roots round in the bag and see her pull out a big brush and some bright red powder. She starts to circle the brush on my cheeks, dipping it in the powder and then back on my cheeks. Over and over and over again.

Jesus.

Next she pulls out a small cylindrical bottle filled with a glossy pink liquid. She unscrews the lid and pulls out the applicator.

"Now do this," she says pointing to her lips which a stuck out in a very big pout.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes! Come on!" she bounces on my knee.

So I pout.

Jesus.

She gently applies the gloss to my lips, giggling as she gets some in my moustache.

"Done!" she announces jumping off my knee and stepping backwards to admire her work.

"Ste! Lucas! Come and look!" she shouts loudly.

"Do not say ANYTHING!" I glare at Steven as he and Lucas step into the room.

"Haha," Lucas laughs pointing at me. "You look like a girl!"

"He's not a girl Lucas, he's a princess!" Leah tells him off.

"You look….erm, yeah, you look right pretty, you" Steven snorts. Trying to hold the laughter in. His eyes shining brightly.

"Yeah, yeah alright. I'm a princess. Thank you Leah for making me….all pretty."

"You're welcome!" she beams with pride.

Steven mouths "thank you" at me and I can see the happiness dancing behind his eyes – I would do anything for that look.

Leah and Lucas run off and start playing "pirates" on all my furniture. Steven comes up to me, and I reach out for him, pull him into my lap. He looks at me, his eyes shining like they do before our kisses, but then he laughs.

"I proper can't kiss you when you look like that!" He protests, so I tickle him instead.

I rest my chin into the crook of his neck as we watch the kids.

Watching the group of them I know exactly what we should do today. Steven's right - Christmas should be magical, and if any kid deserves it then these guys do. So that's the only reason I'm daft enough to say to two eight year olds-

"Who wants to go see Santa?"

***K&M***

"You hate Christmas, though," Steven reminds me, only a little too late.

Those flashing lights are already giving me a headache, that awful childlike music has sunk into my bones and the smells of cinnamon and allspice have turned my stomach. Yet I would take all that a thousand times over for the look on the twin's faces as we finally arrive.

There are memories here, of Eileen and my family. Christmas was always Eileen's thing – she would do it so perfectly that I would wish there had been someone like her in my childhood. And yeah faced with those memories you know I get those old feelings of betrayal and devastation – desolation. But they all disappear in a single one of Steven's smiles.

Grosvenor has really gone all out this year – 'Santa's grotto' is this huge green felt put up in the middle of the square. There's a red carpeted queue and a million excited children's faces. There are a dozen or so students dressed in elf outfits - giving out chocolate reindeers on sticks.

I'm listening to Leah chattering away when I feel Steven moving next to me. He stands taller, puffs out his chest, fold his arms – you know signs of allure. I turn to smile at him but he's not even looking at me! I follow the trail of his gaze and see this boy, probably twenty, dark skin like chocolate, big arms, muscular, kinda nice body – if you like that sort of thing. Yes I know Steven does. Their smiling at each other – sharing a look of mutual attraction. Elfboy does this toothy smile, which is unfortunate because he's got one of those gap tooth's – totally unappealing, I do see the little impulsive lip lick Steven does though.

And I can't have that can I?

Hidden by the million shopping bags of things the twins saw and wanted I slide my thumb along the waistband of his jeans. Yeah I guess I'm a little possessive. He flicks his head immediately, eyes looking all apologetic for a moment, but he quickly lets out this small laugh. The cheeky fecker!

Lucas involves us both in a game of eye spy, and as we play I feel Steven's eyes flick over me, appreciating – that's better.

"Reindeer?" The elf says standing behind us.

Steven beams, and the strangers eyes get darker, yes I know my boy has a beautiful smile.

Elfboy's tongue practically licks his next words, "chocolate surprise?"

Seriously?! That's his chat up line?

"Can we Mr Brady?" Lucas asks.

"Course," I say putting two quid in the charity box.

The kids both take one.

"You can have one for free if you like," Elfboy says to Steven, "nothing like a bit of chocolate."

Steven struggles, he even bites his lip at one moment. I know it's instinctive. Still, my fist trembles at my side – why can't I deck this stupid elf? Make him sparkle for Christmas.

"Nah, it's alright – it's for the kids innit?" Steven grins.

***K&M***

We get to the front of the queue, the twins smiles grow with every step. Steven starts to go inside the grotto with them but Leah turns with her hand on her hip.

"You're too old!" She tells him accusingly. "Santa won't come to you."

"Oh that's how it is?" He asks good naturedly, ruffling her hair.

I see Steven making eye contact with the female elf by the front door – she nods to tell him it's OK for the twins to go in by themselves.

"OK well say hi for me won't you?" He places a kiss on the top of Leah's head and walks away but as I turn to follow she calls me back.

"Mr Brady! Would you look after snowy for me?" She asks passing me the white polar bear that hasn't left her grasp since I gave him to her five days ago – Paddy always thought it was a bit too girly for him anyway.

"Sure princess, have a good time."

She beams at me and then runs off to join her twin. I sit the polar bear on top of the bag, knowing Leah will complain if I don't help it "breathe".

Steven's looking in the window of a jeweller's at a set of watches. Under his new blue winter coat he's wearing jeans and a black jumper – my black jumper - even with the new clothes I bought him he still wants to wear mine. Yeah, I guess I like that too. His skin's shining smoothly and he looks delectable. He looks like he's auditioning to model those watches – he really has no right to being that gorgeous.

I go to join him, stand behind him, really close and breathe him in that way that normally gives him that fucking adorable blush. The kids will be in there for ten minutes minimum we definitely have time to disappear around that corner. But he doesn't even seem to have noticed me.

"Alright?" I ask; he even jumps a little. "What you look at?"

"Ah, nothing."

I thought there wasn't anything he didn't talk to me about these days.

"Steven-"

"Ah just that watch," he says pointing to one of the Gucci ones, big brown cuff with a large face. "Just reminds me, that's all."

"Of-"

He looks up at me through his eyelashes – like he's trying to work out how much to say.

"My old man, funny, don't really think about him a lot."

A shiver passes over my soul and I impulse, "This time of year does things to you."

But his face falls into shadow and I really didn't want to bring him more sadness so I prompt, "Tell me about him."

"He left when I was 7, right? Just walked out one day, I don't really remember a lot, me 'cept he used to read to me a lot, like every night. He had a watch, kinda like that one. And I remember laughing – sounds proper corny that don' it?"

"Not at all, he sounds like a nice man."

"Right?" He agrees. "But well my mam says he was a waste of space, a no gooder, says he was dead mean to her. Says she should of known leavin us was his style. But I dunno I mean they were young, he was 18 when he had me – and I proper can't imagine…"

I retreat into a realisation - Jesus Steven's seventeen – his Dad would be my age!

"…sometimes I, I mean I'd like to know what he'd think of me…prob not a lot…but I dunno maybe I'm a little like him."

And he looks really sad, his eyes dark blue like I've only seen them once before, and I hate it when he looks like that so I say a truth he deserves so much.

"He'd be really proud of you, Steven."

He pauses a moment, and then sort of smiles. His eyes search my face for honesty – that gaze I can always feel on me.

"You think?"

"Look at the way you look after the twins, the way you look after me," I say without really meaning to, I didn't think how those words would sound until I said them. "You're a bright kid," I say trying to back track quickly.

He doesn't let me though. He's looking up at me from beneath those Bambi eyelashes, turning around to face me, and I can't really remember what I was saying.

"I look after you?" He whispers, his voice like that.

And then his hands press over my suit jacket, in between my laden arms, trail down to my arse.

"Steven-" I warn taking an impulsive step back.

"What? Jesus, Brady! Who the fucks around?"

He steps back, really angry. I look around and he's got a point – this place is full to the brim but mostly its Saturday shoppers. This isn't the sort of place my or Foxy's associates would hang around. But you know that's not why I moved away.

"Steven-"

"Fuck off Brady – you know I'm getting proper sick, of-"

"Is this man bothering you?" We hear a voice, attempt to be threatening behind my shoulder.

Threatening – me?! I almost stop the smirk as I turn around to see the intruder. Jesus it's elfboy! Clearly from break, with a maroon hoody pulled over the top. So he's stood with green tights, red hot pants and a maroon hoody – trying to look scary…to me….

"No, no it's fine mate thanks," Steven says.

"Sure?"

Yes because I really looked like I was threatening him didn't I? Idiot.

"Yeah."

"OK well I'm Noah," elfboy says sticking out his sleazy hand to be shaken.

"Stev- Ste," Steven answers.

Even though he takes the proffered hand I find myself smiling – at the way he almost introduced himself.

"Hi Stevy-Ste," Noah grins and Steven even laughs.

"No it's just Ste, it's just-"

"You forgot your own name for a moment? Happens to the best of us," he's still not let go of his hand – they're not even really shaking any more. "Listen don't suppose you fancy going for a drink?"

Well that's - awkward.

"Oh, thanks but erm I'm kinda seeing someone," Steven answers. His eyes flash over my face, I'm not sure if he finds what he's looking for or not because he adds. "It's complicated."

"Well if you ever fancy uncomplicated let me give you my number."

Yeah I'm sure you could do uncomplicated I'm sure you could do unintelligent and unhere and unalive aswell. I cough and elfboy can't be as dumb as he looks cos he gets the hint.

"Oh," He says, looking from Steven to me, and back again.

"Oh." Noah repeats.

Go on - say it. Say how you thought I was his carer, or father. I really need a good excuse to make that ugly tooth gap bigger.

"Listen I didn't mean to get in the middle of anything."

I roll my eyes cos that's exactly what he meant to do. Steven smiles – believing him.

"It's fine."

"Run along now, there's a good little elf," I say just as Noah turns on his heel.

"Brady!" Ste says.

Bren – I almost correct him but I know I'm being chastised.

"I thought you didn't do jealousy?"

"I wasn't-" I start to deny, but this huge totally fucking kissable smile grows on my boys lips and I once again can't remember what I was saying.

Fuck.

"It's OK Bren," he smiles, sidling around to me, leaning up to whisper.

He's not touching any part of me, but I can feel his heat flood through me.

"I'm not going to forget where I belong – or who saved me," he whispers, in that slowly seductive way he's mastered.

Out of my periphery I see him smile and lean even closer, whisper even lower, "Or the hottest bloke ever. Who gives me the time of my life when we're alone."

I know my breath is audible, fuck! What he does to me. He makes me fucking insatiable.

He steps back, no longer smiling, tilting his head to the side that way he does when he's angry and has a point to make.

"Even if he don't go nowhere near me when we're not!"

I start to counter but the kids are suddenly here, chocolate smeared faces, red shining presents from Santa each in their hands and massive smiles.

"Ste ste ste ste!" They sing in unison, and he bends down to hug them both.

"Come on McDonalds yeah? And you can tell me all about santa."

I watch them walk off, and I'm not kidding myself I know it's gone way past lust. Sometime over the last few days this became more than just shagging, and more than just a need to protect a lad that had no-one. I just felt jealousy. Jealousy.

I shouldn't have let it get this far but it felt good you know? To have someone so close to you it's like their beating through you. It's been too long since I've felt anything like this. I'm not sure I can remember the last time, was there one?

I don't do vulnerability but I haven't been in control of a single thing since he came back into my life – Steven Hay is my kryptonite, my dynamite. So tonight has to be goodbye – if you don't throw a grenade back, you let it explode.

But when this is all over Steven will know how important he is. He has to know how much he is worth – how much he has to give someone else, someone more suitable.

"Steven, I'll meet you there yeah?" I ask and he looks at me over his shoulder raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever," he says shaking his head, his arms even more protective over his siblings.

When he walks around the corner and out of sight I nip into the watch sellers.