The next morning I awoke with a new determination set within me. I was going to talk to Zuko. I was finally going to stand up and tell him that there is more to life than hunting the Avatar; that he can actually be happy with Aang, Sokka, and I. I was going to tell him that if he kept hunting Aang then I was going to be left with no other choice but to leave him. But…could I actually go through with my threat if he refused my proposition?
I nervously got ready for the day with adrenaline pumping through my veins. I wasn't exactly sure as to how I was going to confront Zuko; I just knew I needed to that day. I was sure that the right moment would come sooner or later that day, and when it did, I would be ready. I had to be. I couldn't let an opportunity like that to slip away.
The entire day I spent with Iroh or out on deck when no one was around. I spent every minute plotting what to say, how to look, and how to act. I didn't want to seem like I had simply run into something I was totally unprepared for, but I didn't want to seem like I had spent hours upon hours working on what I was going to do. Of course, in reality, I actually had.
In my nervous preparations, I had wasted the day away! Before I knew it the sun was turning from a bright and vibrant blue to a wishy washy orange and pink. Then after even more nervous pacing on deck, the sky had grown dim and dark and I could barely see more than a foot away from the boat.
Dinner had finally come and left and I still had not talked to Zuko. I had seen him throughout the day, but I hadn't built up the courage to say anything. Time was running thin and the day was almost done. If I really wanted to talk to him after dinner, tea time was going to be my one and only time to do so.
I would have no time once we were alone in our room. Zuko would insist on getting sleep and be already in bed before I could pull my dress off. And by that time, I was already lost in my own haze of falling asleep in his arms again like the night before.
I gulped nervously as I stared worriedly into my tea cup, its steam billowing and disappearing around my face. The tea swirled swiftly around in a small circle, spanning to the sides of the cup, from my intense concentration. I clenched my fingers around the cup even harder as my brow furrowed even more so.
Was I really going to have the strength to talk to him? I had had strength and courage to back sass him the past, and that could have put me in much greater danger than what I was about to do, so why was I having such a tough time with this? I shouldn't have had such a problem, but I strangely was.
When I had been in the North Pole, I hadn't had a problem showing courage and strength to Master Pakku, but then again, that was under much different circumstances. I had been yearning and hungry to learn waterbending, but I was also yearning for Zuko to join Sokka, Aang, and I. So what was keeping me back?
Was I going back on what I had set my mind to do? Was I rethinking my plan? Did I really want Zuko to join our group? To have him turn his back on his father, his country, his throne and take it all down? Was that shame and humiliation that he would have to go through really what I wanted?
No, I didn't want him to bear through anymore pain than he needed to, but… Going against his father and defeating the Fire Nation was the only way he would have peace in his heart. It was the only way he wouldn't feel conflicted any longer. He needed to have some sort of closure or revenge or whatever defeating the Fire Lord would bring him.
"Katara?" Zuko softly asked.
My forehead straightened out a little and my grip loosened. I slowly came back from my deep thoughts. I looked up at him, pushing the cup aside. I put my hands in my lap and stared at them. "Yeah?" I asked even quieter.
"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.
I bit my lip and studied his face. He looked genuinely concerned and worried about me. He really did care about me, and I did vice versa, so why was I having so much trouble talking to him? It was for his own good even to just be slightly nudged in the right direction.
"If…" I started off, all the words I had ever rehearsed suddenly slipping my mind. "If I told you," I gulped, "you could happy, what would you do?" I timidly asked.
His brow furrowed and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Happy? How so?"
Ugh! I was getting nowhere! I was already practically babbling like a complete moron! I was going to have to straighten myself up and be clearer with my words.
I cleared my throat. "Like," I licked my lips, "happy with a family. An actual family where we care for each other."
He stared at me, not moving. He was slowly processing my words and trying to understand just what I meant. His usual stony expression loosened and then suddenly looked pale and horrified even. "Like…with you?" he asked, his eyes wide.
I nodded.
I knew this was a bad idea. Even the mere thought made him terrified! He was never truly going to change, was he? He was always going to the crazed, "dishonored" Prince, trying to capture the Avatar, searching the entire world for him.
I looked down at my hands again. They had already gripped the fabric with an iron grip somehow. The faded blue fabric was wrinkled and creased. My hands started to shake with sadness and disappointment that was racking my mind, body, and soul.
"I'm sorry," I croaked out, knowing that if I said too much tears would suddenly flow out and be unstoppable. "I didn't mean to bring up something that was so appalling to you. I just thou-" my voice cracked and I covered my mouth from embarrassment. "I just thought that you would want to have a life with people who cared about you and that you would actually be happy with them."
I closed my eyes and pulled my lips into a thin line. My throat felt dry and like it was starting to squeeze tighter and tighter, trying to keep more words from escaping. I opened my eyes, but couldn't see from all the tears that had formed.
It was almost surreal what had just happened. He had instantly shot down my idea without even letting me explain at all. It was almost too much to take in. He didn't want to live a life with me or Sokka or Aang. Not at all. He might as well have said he didn't love me. And I think he just did.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa" the Prince gushed out as he came to my side. He kneeled down to my right and turned me so that I was facing him. He lifted my face up and wiped my tears off my cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing my arms with his warm hands.
"You-you don't… want to have… a life…with me," I choked out, barely even hearing my words.
"No, no," he denied. "I do, but now? While there's a war going on? It's not the best of times." He gazed into my eyes with sincerity. "I would love to settle down with you and live together and have children of our own and-"
Wait, settle down? Children of our own? Did he actually think that I meant just the two of us? Did he actually think that I was implying that I wanted to have a family with him at that moment? I mean, of course, I did, but not while the war's going on and most certainly not before we're married.
"Wait," I shook my head, "that's…that's not what I mean," I said, wiping the bottom of my eyes.
He pulled back from shock just a bit. "It's not."
"No," I half- shouted/half- laughed. "I mean, with me, of course, but with Sokka and Aang also, my brother and the Avatar."
"Sokka and Aang?" He raised his eyebrow at that.
"Yes." I nodded my head. "I don't want you to continue to chase Aang." I took a deep breath. "Because if you do, I'll have to go back with him. I won't be able to stay with you, and I know that you'll be much happier with us three anyways. I want you to join us, to join the three of us in our quest to defeat the Fire Nation."
"Defeat the Fire Nation?" he asked a bit dumbstruck.
"Mhm. I know that it will be hard, but if you capture Aang and return to the Fire Nation, I won't be able to be beside you any longer. They'll see me as a threat and I will be a threat because I will on Aang's side. And if you return with him in chains, you'll never be happy. Your father will still not love you." I didn't mean to be harsh with him, hitting him in his most tender subject, but I needed to tell it to him straight.
He nodded sullenly. "Yes, I know."
"And," I said, trying to sound happy and excited, "if you join us, you can train Aang. You can teach him firebending! And then he'll be able to restore balance to the world! With your help!" I studied him, looking at his features. Was he going to reject me or agree with me? "Please, Zuko," I murmured.
He looked into my eyes. "Ever since we kissed and I fell in love with you, I've been waging war inside myself about what to do. I knew that you would never agree to follow along with me if I tried to capture the Avatar, but then a thought occurred to me: What if I joined your group? But I thought that I would be betraying the Fire Nation, but I've realized that the real traitor is Ozai. He's brought great dishonor to the Fire Nation. He needs to be defeated so that the Fire Nation's honor can be restored.
"And… I also thought that you would never accept me after all I've done to you. But you have. Here you are offering to have me join you guys. You're willing to give me a second chance. One that I don't deserve. And…" he trailed off.
"And?" I asked, prodding him on further.
He took my hands and stood up, bringing me up with his as well. He held my hands tightly, filling them with warmth. He didn't smile though I could tell he was happy. His face held determination and strength that made my heart ache. "I accept your offer. I will join you and the Avatar. It's time he learned firebending," he said, nodding.
I smiled and hugged him. I was so overjoyed I wasn't sure whether to hug and kiss him or dance around the room laughing. But what I did didn't matter. All that mattered was finding Aang and Sokka and trying to get them to accept Zuko. It wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't expecting easy.
The road ahead Zuko and I was rough and mangled and challenging. I was sure it was nothing we couldn't handle, but still fear crept into the back of my mind. It was going to be troublesome enough to get information on where Aang was last seen let alone going to the places he was last spotted when we were so many steps behind them.
I wondered what they were doing. Were the two of them getting along alright? Had Aang learned earthbending yet? Were we going to have to find him a teacher? Where were they even? They hadn't stayed at our campsite that we had made before I had been capture, had they? They couldn't have. They weren't that moronic. Right?
"But," Zuko started, halting my overflowing joy from brimming over anymore.
I looked at him earnestly.
"Will your brother and the Avatar accept me?" he asked concerned.
I bit my lip and wearily shook my head. Of course they wouldn't, and we would be foolish to think they would. "No, but they have to whether they like it or not. I'm with you and so they'll have to see that as proof that if I trust you, they should as well." I squeezed my eyes shut. "They have to."
He nodded once. He wrapped his arms around me slowly and comforting, embracing me in a hug. He huskily whispered in my ear, "It'll work out."
I smiled and wrapped my arms wound him as well. "I know," I breathed. I pulled away from him and asked, "When are we going to leave?"
"As soon as possible," he grimly informed, telling me that we didn't have time to dawdle around. "We'll talk to Uncle and then leave as soon as we dock."
"When do we dock?"
"We'll be at Wakai in five days," he said.
"Where is that?"
"It's a small earthbending town close to Omashu, about a two day walk. The Avatar was spotted there, so we'll walk to Omashu and ask around the city. There's bound to be someone that spotted him."
A worrying thought entered my mind that I couldn't help but utter. "What if Omashu is under Fire Nation control? What then?" I had heard rumors that it had been taken over and they were holding King Bumi hostage. What if the rumors were true? We would have nowhere to start back from.
"It's not or else we wouldn't have gotten the information," he said.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
The next few days went by so quickly. Preparations had to have been made, though there weren't a lot, they were hard and had to be done to the fullest without any mistakes whatsoever.
We planned to leave as soon as we docked, having only our packs to burden our travel. Iroh was going to go on without us and sail back to the Fire Nation. He was going to tell everyone that he had returned due to the unsightly death of Prince Zuko. No one was supposed to know that he was actually alive and teaching the Avatar firebending. It just wouldn't have worked out in our favor if everyone knew of that.
Zuko and I were to travel to Omashu and search for Aang. It was going to be hard, but it wasn't like Zuko hadn't done that kind of thing before. It would be a little different to him since we would be on land for practically all the journey, but I was sure it was nothing he couldn't handle.
The crisp, morning wind blew steadily against my neck and face, blowing the strands that had escaped my braid back and warning me of the quickly approaching winter. With a backpack heavy on my back and a stance ready to take on the world, I stood on the deck, waiting for us to finally dock. I took slow and steady breaths, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. I could hear its pulse in my ears and feel each beat in my cheeks. I was nervous, but ready to take on the journey. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as it usually did when I was up against a challenge.
Zuko strutted to my side and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. The warmth emitting from him gave me comfort and courage. He held his head high, thrusting his chin out to the world before us. Anyone could tell by the look in his eye that he had a mission to accomplish, but only Iroh and I knew just how passionate he was about accomplishing it. He knew good and well what was to come if he didn't see it through to the end, and he wasn't one to quit.
Through the morning fog, a small dock was slowly becoming visible. Soon I could outline the shore and count how many docks there were. There were about twenty that I could see and over half were full of boats. Fishing boats most likely. We slowly crept into an open dock and anchored the ship down.
I sighed and turned to Zuko, telling him with my eyes that it was already time to go. I offered up a small smile, trying to ward off the encroaching fear and disquiet I knew we both felt.
He looked at me deadpanned though and nodded simply once. He knew that no words were needed, and I realized too that. We were going to be heading off on a long journey in a few minutes and we couldn't have anything said that would hold us back, no fears or worries brought out from the dark crevices of our minds. All we needed to think about was getting to Aang and Sokka.
Though I knew he held it in, Zuko was going to dearly miss his uncle. I was going to too. The old man was always helpful and kind and easy to talk to, giving his wisdom when needed. I could tell that Zuko held Iroh close to his heart and treasured the old man, whom loved him like his own son in return.
I took a deep breath and waited for the plank to lower. With a gridding creak, it slowly began to bend downward. The mist parted as the large metal plank came swooping down on it. With a low thud, it hit the rotting and water soaked dock. The mist slowly gathered back around the ship, dock, and plank as it had been just a few seconds ago.
The Fire Prince grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He took a few steps forward, and I followed in sync, taking bigger strides to keep pace with him. Noticing my struggles, he tried to slow down a bit for my sake, but the awkward, slower pace made him uneasy and jerky in his movements.
I quickened my pace for him, and he relaxed and sped up just a bit more. It was going to be a long trip I just knew it.
We walked through the town in comfortable silence with my hand happily in his. Wakai was a small town so we were able to get out into the country roads before the market and streets got too busy with the hustle and bustle of residents.
"What is your home like?" Zuko asked suddenly, breaking the silence surrounding us.
His question caught me off guard. He had never asked me such a question. He had never asked about my home life or my family or anything remotely close to that topic. It seemed that family was sensitive and dangerous grounds to be treading on with him, so I left it alone.
"My home?" I repeated, asking more the question to myself than repeating his words back to him. "There really aren't any colors," I dually noted. "Really only blue and white." I shrugged.
"What else?" he pressed on. Why was he so interested in the Water Tribes all of a sudden?
"Well," I said, thinking for a moment, "it's not very big. It was bigger before the men left for war, but even then it wasn't nearly as grand as the North Pole."
He nodded with understanding, knowing full well how monstrous and befuddling the North Pole could be with its many corridors and bridges that all looked the same with the same view when standing on it.
"But I imagine," I said, smiling and sighing just a bit, "that it used to be a wondrous and glorious place to live, much like the North Pole, before the war began.
"I imagine that children ran about playing house or pretending to hunt without the threat of an invasion." I declared all that, reciting my goal and my most hidden secret. That was how I longed for my children to live, but I supposed then that my children wouldn't be in the South Pole. "I imagine that the men talked about woman and politics in the lightest manner. I imagine the women bantered and giggled on about a handsome gentleman that had just recently asked a friend's hand in marriage as she shows off her betrothal necklace. I imagine the teen girls would giggle and gossip about the cute, newly budding boys or how one of them had had their first kiss. I imagine mothers and mothers-to-be would look upon their children or their growing stomach in love and adoration. I imagine the husbands would come home with a fresh kill for dinner and gently kissing their wives in greeting."
Zuko studied my face earnestly. "Really?" he asked.
I nodded my head. "Yeah."
We walked on for the rest of the day, talking in light banter. I described my home to him as vividly as I could manage. That topic soon passed and I found myself rambling on about my dreams. I started out by my usual goals, the war to end, for Aang to defeat the Fire Lord, but I somehow let my guard down. I had started to talk about my more personal dreams. My girly and almost childish ones.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm talking way too much."
He gave me a soft smile. "No, that's alright. I like to hear you talk."
I blushed and smiled too.
When the sun started to set, we stopped walking and found a spot to set up camp. We rolled out our mats and Zuko started a fire. It quickly blazed in front of our eyes thanks to his firebending. We sat on our mats and quietly prepared dinner that we had packed earlier that morning.
I pulled out two mangos and a loaf of bread. I split the loaf in half, handed one to Zuko, and gave him a mango. We roasted our bread over the fire, giving it a nice crunchy crust and a warm, soft inside. The dinner was simple, but the bread paired with the mango gave it something nice and sweet to add to it.
The bloody sky turned to grey and then finally black. The only light we had was the vibrantly orange, hissing fire before us. The flames danced in front of our faces, defining our features even more so.
I sat close by the fire on my mat with my legs curled up in front of me, clutched by my arms. I watched the glowing embers of the burning logs and the sparks float up into the atmosphere with the grey smoke. I turned my head to see Zuko firebending.
His palm was moving up and down like it was a heartbeat. With each thrust upwards and an inhale, a small flame was born and with each drop of his wrist and an exhale, it died to a little smolder, barely visible even in the dim lighting. It was as if the flame in itself was alive.
What must it be like to have something practically living inside of you? Something that you can create with just an inhale and kill with an exhale? What must it be like to have so much power from such a simple movement?
I stared intently at him, totally mesmerized by his bending. I finally realized that fire was a beautiful element when not used for massive destruction. I had had it all wrong about how fire was only a destructive and ugly element that could only be used for evil. No, it was beautiful and full of emotion no matter how you used it. It was passion, beauty, life, emotion, feeling, power.
Zuko suddenly stopped bending, extinguishing the flame by smothering it with his fingers. He pulled his fingers back and stared at his bare palm, pondering it. He wryly shook his head and turned at me, just now realizing that I had been watching him with great intent. He stared into my eyes, silently telling me not to turn away.
But I didn't need to be told to not look away. He had already had me under his spell. He could tell by the look in my eye, I was sure. He had already had me the day he kissed my cheek in the hallway of the ship.
I leaned in to him, and he did as well. He held his hand out, reaching out for mine.
I pulled my hand towards his. I laced my cool fingers around his warm fingers, feeling the electric sparks jump from skin to skin. I quietly gasped and took his other hand in mine. I tilted closer to him, and he did too, knowing full well what I was yearning for. Inches apart from each other, I closed my eyes and the gap between us.
Our lips touched and I was filled with heat and electricity. It was just like our first kiss all over again. I felt once more as if I was struck by lightning, and I hoped that it would be like that every time we kissed. It was spontaneous and romantic and all around wonderful. I couldn't imagine going through something like that with anyone else, but I guess I couldn't kiss anyone else besides Zuko without feeling that.
We parted for lack of breath. I laid my head on his shoulder and panted rapidly.
"I love you," he whispered sincerely. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and it sent goosebumps racing down my spinal cord.
When I had finally caught my breath, I whispered in his ear, "I love you too." And I meant it.
He gingerly grabbed my chin and pulled in for another kiss. It wasn't as upscale as the last kiss, but it was just as passionate and gentle and sweet. He pulled back and looked intently into my eyes. He picked me up onto his lap and cradled me as if I was a baby as he gently placed kisses on my cheek, lips, forehead, and wherever else he could manage to place his lips, making me gasp from the tingling sensation he gave me with each touch of his lips.
"When was the first time you knew you loved me?" I whispered through gasps.
He looked off into the fire then back at me. "The day I had come back from a war meeting and you made me angry, but then apologized to my shock."
I thought hard, trying to remember that day. It seemed to be so long ago. I couldn't pinpoint the exact date or time, but I could vaguely remember the events. "The day before you kissed me on the cheek?" I asked.
He nodded his head. "Mhm. I knew that you didn't feel anything in return at the moment, but I was determined to show how I felt about you though."
"Why? Didn't you doubt that I felt anything for you other than hatred or annoyance?" I asked, knowing full well that I had.
"Yeah, I did," he paused, "but I figured that if feelings for you had developed inside my icy, cold heart, then you possibly had something for me also." He smiled coyly at me. "And what do you know?" He leaned his head closer to mine, his lips centimeters from my ear. "I was right," he huskily whispered.
I felt his hot, lingering breath against my ear lobe and nape and shivered. I pulled myself closer to him. "Yeah, you were. I'm glad you went on ahead and showed your affections for me."
His brow furrowed. "Why?"
I shook my head and looked at his hands wrapped around mine. "Because I wouldn't have. I would've stayed in denial and continued to argue with myself about how I felt for you."
He chuckled and hugged me tightly. He kissed my cheek sweetly and held it there for a few seconds and then pulled away slowly, letting the imprint of his lips to linger on my cheek and the electric sparks lace my skin.
We finally settled down for the night, lying on our mats. Zuko pulled me over to his side again just like the last two nights. He wrapped his warm, strong arms around me and pulled the sheet over our two bodies.
My breath quickly evened out and became deep. My eyes were growing heavier and heavier with the passing of every second. Soon it became nearly impossible to fight the urges to release myself to the warm, blissful sleep. I relaxed and fell asleep.
A/N: Yah! They're going to find Aang and Sokka! I'm not exactly sure when they will come into the story again, but it shouldn't be more than five chapters and less than two. So around there. I'm sorry that's not really specific, but I'm not exactly sure where to go, like I'm still sketching out how they meet Sokka and Aang and all that sort of stuff.
I know, I know, I know, this is like the third chapter I've ended with Katara falling asleep. And I'm sorry for that. I just really wasn't sure how to end this chapter nicely without any cliff hangers, which was definately NOT what I wanted, and I didn't want to start the next day in this chapter. So...yeah, sorry.
Yah! Fluff! I noticed I hadn't really had any fluff since their kiss, so I'm sorry about that. So I added some in the ending. I hope you enjoyed that! And it wasn't like "cheesy, cheesy, CHEESY!" Because I can find myself writing in a pretty cheesy and cliche manner. So if I ever start to do that, please feel free to tell me. I won't argue with you or anything. I'll most likely agree with you. But was this chapter cheesy? Please be honest!
We finally got to see what Zuko was thinking and feeling! I hope I voiced his feelings appropiately. I didn't want to write like a whole other page on his feelings and what he was going through. I hope it wasn't rushed or left out some things. Tell me about what you think of Zuko's "moment" (I guess you could call it that)
Some of you may have noticed that this chapter is longer than most. I've realized that as I'm getting older and my writing is maturing, I need to push myself to write more in the time that I have. I don't want to give you the usual 2,000 maybe 3,000 words chapter. I want to try and make the usual 4,000 or 5,000 words per chapter. I would really like to push myself to do that.
Ok, I have a question for you guys! Yah! Something interactive! Haha, I feel like Shane Dawson! In this story, I am planning (sorry, this is a little spoiler, so skip over if you don't want a small spoiler) Aang is already going to have learned earthbending. Like he's already gotten a teacher by the time Katara catches up with him. I'm conflicted between making up a new character that is Aang's teacher or bring Toph in just like in the series. Now, personally, I LOVE Toph. She's really my favorite character when it comes to her personality. I am like Toph, I guess that's safe to say. But I also feel like I haven't been creative enough with characters and developing my own. So tell me what you think about that! Leave me a comment saying who you'd rather have in the story: Toph or a new, original character!
Wow, that was a LONG A/N. Well, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and it didn't seemed rushed or anything. Please review! I LOVE to get reviews from you guys! They always make my day just a little bit better, knowing that people enjoy my work. I really do appreciate you guys taking the time to do that, and feel free to ask any questions, because I do actually read your reviews and reply back to them. Lol, thanks again!
-Neon