"I had to choose" Lucas says as he looks to me for confirmation.
"Well, I'm a genius and you're an idiot with a face" I reply with a smirk hoping he realizes that I am kidding… sort of…. maybe. Truth is there never really was a choice.
I can't help but think, Yes, you did and it should have happened before now. Things never should have gotten this far. This whole "triangle" nonsense is just that…nonsense. There is something going on with Maya. I don't think for a second she feels more than friendship for him and the reason is simple…. Riley. She would never do something like that to her sister. While part of me wants to say that to him, I keep it to myself. No sense in adding to his angst over it.
I can only hope for his sake that he hasn't waited too long. I never had to choose because I promised to love them the same. He never made that promise…he never could make that promise. It's always been Riley. This was not new information, at least not for me. I've known all along. Real friends listen even if the words aren't said out loud.
As I sit here in the Bay Window, I can't help but wonder if all of this madness is finally coming to an end. The weeks of Riley not talking to me, the weeks of Lucas not talking to me and even more importantly, the months of Riley and Lucas not talking to each other. During all of this time, we all "chit-chatted" with each other but we never really talked to each other. Riley was upset with me for obvious reasons. Lucas was upset with me for keeping her secret and then revealing it in front of everyone. When I explained the whys and what-nots, he understood my reasons but I could tell he was still upset. He wasn't upset with me anymore, rather with the situation. As tough as this "triangle" has been on all of us, it's been the toughest on Lucas.
The last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions for him and we have talked at length about everything that has transpired. He knows that the "unofficial" label on his relationship, with Riley, caused a lot of confusion. While they made the right decision not to be pressured into anything before they were ready, they never really discussed what they truly were. Lucas isn't sure what they are any more…the only thing he knows for sure is that they are not siblings. Never have been, never will be. He admitted that while possibly losing the chance to be a couple cut him to the quick, it was losing his best friend that has damn near destroyed him.
I can only imagine how that must feel. While Riley was upset with me, I knew she still loved me. Just like she knew I loved her. Knew that I loved her enough to be her voice when she felt that she had lost hers. Siblings fight, siblings stop talking to each other but sibling love never really fades away.
Lucas and Riley have always had, and likely always will have, a connection. They could sit and talk for hours. They could talk about any topic under the sun except for one…. Them. They seemed to be comfortable with everything but that…I think it's because they were both afraid that if their feelings had changed and the words spoken, things would never be the same. I knew their feelings for each other had only strengthened but it wasn't my place to say anything. Once she agreed to go out with Charlie, my stance regarding my place changed. I knew that I had to do something. Perhaps my announcement was ill-timed but it was not ill-received by Lucas and he was the only one I was worried about. I fully expected things to change immediately but I was mistaken. Nothing changed and we've all been in limbo since.
I know Lucas has to be more than ready to move past all of this. Ready to get back to being a citizen in Rileytown. Ready for his best friend to talk to him again, to get past all of the uncertainty that this situation has caused.
I was just about to ask him if he was ready to deal with Hambone chasing him out the window again when a paint covered head popped through the Bay Window. Maya and Riley both climbed in the window completely covered in paint.
I watched in utter fascination as Maya asked Lucas if he had made a decision and when he answered yes, she told him it didn't matter. That she had "lost" herself and had "become" Riley. That no matter who he chose, he would in effect be choosing Riley. That she didn't know if she liked him or if her inner Riley liked him.
The look on his face is one that will stay with me. Part confusion and part annoyance. After months of being caught in the middle of the 2 girls, months of wondering how things with Riley went so far off track, months of feeling like he lost his best friend, now he is being told that his choice doesn't matter at this moment and that he still shouldn't say anything. I could see him take a deep breath and call on his inner fortitude to once again be the guy who just goes along with everything.
I thought we were nearing the end of the madness. Thought that I was no longer going to be stranded on the side of the road between Texas and Rileytown that Lucas would finally be able to put an end to this so that we could all move forward. Yet again I was wrong, proving the theory that while I may be a genius when it comes to most things, teenage girls and feelings are not topics I excel in.