Last time on Total Drama Island. The campers were treated to a blast from the past in a game of dodge ball. Unfortunately for the unfortunate team, The Funky Chickens, their only remaining mildly athletic player was out of it, because his lover girl got the boot the night before. Michael slumped down in the corner, and pretty much stopped playing altogether. In a final, daring attempt to win, The Awkward Turtles suffered a surprising loss, when Kelsey snapped Michael out of his pathetic stupor, and he ended up getting them the win. The Awkward Turtles loss finally meant that the most ANNOYING person to ever play the game, Delia, could finally make her exit. But she left in an OUTRAGE, calling dreamy hunk Vance, ugly before she departed. How will Vance take this insult? How will the Turtles fare today? And could I possibly get ANY BETTER looking? Find out THIS time, on…total…Drama…ISLAND!
_Theme Song_

The nineteen remaining campers sat in the mess hall, talking about, and discussing normal teenage things.

"Ooo, food looks good today Cheffy!" Pat chimed, as Chef gave him an awkward look, scooping up a pile of disgusting burnt baked beans, and plopping them down on Pat's tray. Pat looked at them, and licked his lips, and then walked to a table.

"Alright guys, with Delia gone, there is a better chance that we'll win, eat better, get more sleep at night, and possibly look better too," Lauriell stated.

"Speak for yourself, I always look good…, ALWAYS!" Vance said, with a hearty laugh, as he held a mirror up to eye level to look at himself.

"So Vance, what do you think today's challenge will be?" Melvin asked, Vance ignored him. "Vance?" Melvin tried again, but to no avail…, "VANCE?" Melvin yelled, as Vance finally turned to him.

"What do you want nerdling? Can't you see that I am trying to admire my own face?" Vance growled, Melvin looked sad and shocked, the rest of The Awkward Turtles gasped too, and Pat even stopped eating.

"Whoa…dude, what's gotten into you?" David asked.

"Me? What about YOU guys? You are in the presence of someone famous here and you aren't even bowing at my feet, or asking for autographs! You must realize that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be better than moi," Vance laughed.

(confessional)

Melvin: Okay, what crawled up HIS butt and died...?

David: Did Vance go crazy over night or something?

Sark: Vance used to be such a nice guy, I wonder if it has something to do with Delia calling him ugly…

(end)

"Okay guys, we won yesterday, we can win today!" Spike commented.

"Yeah! Michael is ready to do whatever Chris throws at him, no matter WHAT IT IS!" Michael shouted, as he pumped his fist into the air.

"Alright muscle head, calm down, we need to know what the challenge is before you can just proclaim that you'll dominate it," Kiki added, Michael stuck his tongue out and raspberried at her, Kiki glared at him, and rolled her eyes, "how mature…," she said sarcastically.

"Shut up guys," Edwin muttered, Kiki turned around to glare at Edwin.

"YOU shut up Edwin!" Kiki yelled.

"Whatever…," Edwin sighed.

"He never says anything…, why would you tell him to shut up?" Kelsey asked.

"Because he told me to!" Kiki screamed.

"And you called me immature…, wooow," Michael said.

"Shut it Michael!" Kiki said.

"Wow, before a fight starts, I should probably announce today's challenge!" Chris said.

"Oh, hey Chris, thank goodness you got here when you did," James said.

"On second thought, maybe I should leave so Kiki and Michael can fight," Chris laughed.

"That will not be necessary Chris, please, by all means, ummm…, start the challenge!" Kelsey begged.

"Riiiight, okay," Chris said, "So…for today's challenge, you guys will be cooking me a meal," Chris said, as he licked his lips and smiled.

"Cooking? Sounds like a fun and non-life threatening challenge for once," Sark said with a smile.

"Don't worry," Chris laughed, "The NEXT one will be!"

"Great…," Sark mumbled.

"Anyway, you guys have five hours to prepare a meal to be judged by me, the meal is three courses, so get cookin'!" Chris laughed, as the campers walked off.

"So what should we serve to Chris?" Melvin asked.

"Let's do a barbecue theme, I looove a good burger," David stated.

"Ummm…, greasy foods make you fat, I vote we do an all healthy food theme," Vance suggested.

"What's gotten IN to you?" David asked.

"I'm a MODEL, we don't eat meat!" Vance explained, "but you wouldn't know that, would you David?" Vance asked.

"Hey! Stop acting like a jerk, Vance!" Serra said.

"I'm being realistic, maybe David should start watching his weight," Vance said, rolling his eyes and walking off.

"Don't listen to him David,I guess he finally just snapped…," Serra said.

"Hey, whatever, he's just cranky is all, I guess he isn't used to being called ugly," David stated.

"Anyway, so…, we're doing a barbecue theme?" Kaylie asked.

"Looks like it," Jaynie said.

Meanwhile, The Funky Chickens were trying to figure out their theme.

"So what are we gonna do guys?" Kelly asked.

"Something tasty, I love tasty foods!" Michael said.

"Yeeeah…, anyone who…agrees with Michael, say I?" Spike said, as he broke out laughing.

(confessional)

Spike: How is ANYONE THAT stupid?
(end)

"Alright, we have to do a very sophisticated theme, obviously, a big steak dinner, with fancy silverware, and napkins folded over the lap," Kiki said.

"You don't have many friends, do you?" Edwin asked, as everyone else laughed.

"Neither do you! And I don't see anyone else coming up with suggestions!" Kiki yelled.

"Well I say we do something like an Italian theme, everyone loves Italian food," James suggested.

"I liked the steak idea, just not all sophisticated like, ya hear?" Thomas said.

"I'm down with whatever, can we just pick something, so we don't spend the five hours that he gave us just thinking of an idea," Spike suggested.

"Fine…, Italian it is, I'm a surfer, so I can't eat meat," Kelsey said, "let alone cook it."

"And Italian food includes pizza! I LOOOOVE PIZZA!" Michael cheered.

"Alright, then Italian it is!" Kelly finished.

The campers were now starting their challenge, by dividing into small groups to cook.

"I call making the pizza!" Michael said.

"Who says we're even making pizza?" Kiki asked.

"Ummm…, I do!" Michael cheered.

"Well I DON'T! We need to make real food, like lasagna, or pasta! We can't make pizza! Chris will never take us seriously!" Kiki explained.

"Seriously, get out more babe, it's no wonder nobody on the team even likes you…," Spike said with a roll of his eyes.

"You guys are so incredibly immature, what makes you think that pizza should be thrown into a three course meal and called food?" Kiki growled.

"Because pizza is delicious," Matt added.

"Because pizza has cheese on it?" Kelly said.

"Because pizza is PIZZA!" Michael yelled, while licking his lips, "LET'S GET STARTED YA'LL!"

"It's official, no one listens to me…," Kiki said, rolling her eyes.

"That's because all of your ideas are stupid…," Spike laughed, as Kiki punched him in the arm, he stopped laughing, and rubbed his arm, meanwhile, The Awkward Turtles were picking out their meal ideas.

"So what are we gonna do for a barbecue?" David asked.

"Ribs! Definitely ribs! With lots of barbecue sauce and hot sauce! It gives them that extra zesty flavor!" Pat said.

"You know we're not the ones eating the food right Pat?" Lauriell asked.

"Yeah…, but if I like ribs extra zesty, then Chris will totally like it!" Pat stated.

"You probably like anything extra zesty Pat, even if it isn't edible…," Serra said.

"I'll try anything once!" Pat stated, getting some awkward looks from everyone but David and Kaylie, "what?"

"Heck, if he'll try anything once, he'll be useful if we ever have a challenge where we have to eat disgusting foods," David said with a shrug.

(confessional)

Pat: I really think everyone on my team likes me. I thought that my eating habits would get me into trouble, but it seems like everyone just thinks I'm cool for it!

(end)

"So ribs, and what else?" Jaynie asked.

"How about salad?" Michelle asked, Jaynie raised an eyebrow.

"Have you ever been to a barbecue?" Jaynie asked.

"No…, what is a barbecue?" Michelle asked, everyone on the team facepalmed, Vance stood up.

"No one is THAT dumb, I'm going for a walk, somebody BETTER have some ideas of what to do by the time that I get back," Vance ordered, as he walked away.

"What a jerk…," Serra said, folding her arms.

(confessional)

Serra: That awkward moment when your whole team wants to win, and then there's that one person who just makes you wanna throw the challenge to get them kicked off. Vance is so out of here if we lose tonight…

(end)

"Don't worry about him! Let's just focus on the challenge! Quick…, you're a girl Serra, you should know how to cook!" Sark said, unfortunately for Sark, he said the wrong thing to the wrong person, and Jaynie, Lauriell, and Serra each surrounded him with angry looks on their faces.

"What did you just say chicken wing?" Jaynie asked.

"If you ever say something like that again, you will not leave this competition alive!" Lauriell growled.

"I'll make sure that your body doesn't even leave the island!" Serra said.

(confessional)

Sark: What did I say?

David: Oh snap! The little dude messed up baaad! I hope the girls don't kill the poor guy for it!

Kaylie: Sark is soooo dead…, I wonder if he'll give me his pillow before they tear him limb from limb.

(end)

Alright, so that's it for part one of episode five, the next part will contain some more drama, the end of the challenge, and the moment you've all been waiting for…the fourth elimination CEREMONY! Dun dun dun!

(Please read and review.)

Til' Next Time! Peace Out! :D