A/N: First person! Also, sorry for the late update, I totally got writer's block after I forgot my charger on my computer for spring break. Any ideas I had before disappeared. We've reached 100 followers! 106 to be exact, but I was intending on posting as soon as I got 100. Obviously that didn't happen and I got 6 new sick groovy hip with the kids peeps to join in interest of this fic.

Chapter 10

Worried

The back of my head felt like someone had poked a hole in and drained the contents of my brain. I pressed my head against the wall of the shower. Tears had fallen into the drain. There was a grip of victory at the same time. My father had to have me submit the request of changing teams, he couldn't forcefully remove me. But to come home and have him just sit there, white eyes looking into mine, demanding this of me- I just felt almost helpless.

I slathered shampoo into my hair, scrubbed it with my hands, scratching across my scalp with my fingernails. I let water run through it, falling to the soapy floor, making it slippery and bubbly.

I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and buried my face into it, resting my head for a moment. Every time I felt like I could stop thinking, my mind went back to Naruto. His chakra was pure fire, the kind of fire that looked beautiful for an instant before it burned you down. I still couldn't understand it. Kakashi didn't bother explaining anything. Neither Sasuke nor I bothered asking. We just walked away, we just walked home.

My whole body felt like it was burning up. I collapsed on the bed, still naked. My father knocked on the door when I felt myself drifting off.

"Hinata," his voice was cold and sharp compared to the warmth I was bathing in.

"One moment," I groaned, rolling off the bed. I pulled on clothes as fast as I could, and ran a comb through my hair, matting down any tangles or strays that stuck out or up. I opened the door, staring face to face with my father. He had a forlorn look on his face, as though he couldn't quite decide what to say, "What is it?" I ask.

"I don't know how to emphasize this more, but you need to... understand, there are things that not even I can comprehend, Hinata," he looked soft. My heart almost melted, I hadn't seen my father look like this since mother's funeral.

"Father," I said, tears welling into my eyes. I shouldn't cry now. He was trying to do this. He was trying to make me cry, he wanted me to show my weakness.

"The... Uzumaki is a dangerous teammate to have, he's prone to losing control like you saw, I know you saw it. I've felt that chakra before too, it's..." my father had never been at a loss for words before. My fists clenched. This wasn't my father. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the warm tears fall down my cheeks, dripping to the ground.

"It's not your place to say! If he was dangerous, the Hokage would keep him in a cage!" My teeth were clenched, knuckles were white against the door frame. I closed the door on his face. Why of all times did he choose now to care about me? What right did he have in my life? He had done nothing for me.

I buried my face into my pillow, pressing my face against it. Tears dampened its face, I pressed harder and screamed into it. What on earth was wrong with him?

Hinata, I'm worried about you.

Hinata, Uzumaki is dangerous. I've felt that chakra.

Hinata, please do this for me.

You selfish bastard, you just want to control me. Every aspect of my life is yours. You keep me underneath your fist, pressing me down like a paper doll against a wooden desk. You drew me, you created me, but you don't know me.

This isn't your life.

For you? What do I owe you? You selfish bastard? You who call yourself my father? You who makes me call you my father? You're nothing to me. Had I not been your daughter, I would hate you with every fiber in my body.

But I can't hate you, I suppose. Since that one time, when we were little, and I touched your face and said, Daddy, I love you, and you had a smile so happy that I loved you. Like I meant something to you, like my love meant something. Your face was big and smooth against my hand, and you bounced me in your lap just to make me laugh.

Even when I was three, you taught me how to properly hold kunai and shuriken without cutting myself. Even though mommy got mad at you and said I was too young, but you just said you were teaching, getting me used to it.

You told me there were dangerous and that I could kill people, but I didn't want to hurt anyone. You said it was okay to stand up against people who hurt my family or friends.

I guess it just went downhill after mommy died. You stopped holding my hand when we walked, and you told me I was destined to be a great heiress. You told me that I should think through things without letting emotion affect me. I guess it went downhill when you lost the next closest person to you, your brother, not even a year later.

I remember what it was like when I was kidnapped- at that moment. I could see through the mesh of the brown fabric, silhouettes and outlines, whispering to each other as they took me away. I remember that one silhouette that screamed, Where is she?

I closed my eyes. I was so scared. I heard screams.

The bag opened and there you were, your eyes were wide, your mouth lax. Daddy, I was scared,

It's okay Hinata, I'll be here for you.

But you weren't. You lost your brother. You stopped looking at me.

Is it my fault?

Was I so weak I couldn't defeat them?

It's my fault isn't it?

I'm sorry you lost your brother.

I guess it's all my fault.

It was quiet when I moved out. I was going to meet with my team again today. My father was nowhere to be seen.

"Excuse me, where's my father?" I asked a branch member who bowed to me as I walked by.

"He's gone to the Hokage's office," the branch member replied, bowing again.

I hated when they bowed to me. I felt so high up and official, but nothing about my actual self was high up and official.

I scrunched my face when they didn't stop bowing, "Thank you for telling me."

I hoped that implied dismissal.

I knew how I was supposed treat them, I didn't have to say thank you or excuse me, but branch members are humans too. They deserved respect.

The walk through Konoha was uneventful. When I reached the training ground, Sasuke and Naruto were already there, Kakashi nowhere to be found again. They were experimentally signing to each other in their sign language. I could barely understand it, only recognizing words here and there. Sasuke seemed to be asking what Naruto meant a lot, and on Naruto's notebook there were many random words.

Naruto was writing down whatever Sasuke didn't understand. Naruto seemed to pick up on sign language easily. Perhaps it was because he depended on it more than us.

"Hello," I muttered, sitting down next to them.

"Hello," Sasuke replied, just as quiet.

Kakashi chose this time to show up. Was I that late? I checked the time we promised- no, Kakashi was only four minuets late.

"Hello my cute little students, after thinking about it for a long time, I've decided that we should go on a c-ranked mission!"

He said this like it was the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Maybe it was. If it was c-ranked, maybe I could be out of the village for a while. We climbed up the tower to the mission's desk.

"Sir, are you positive I can't do anything?" I heard my father's voice as we approached the door.

"Again, Uzumaki is not a threat, I don't see why you're worrying so much,"

I slid open the door loudly, glaring at him. He glared back at me, and his eyes moved to Naruto, to Kakashi, and to Sasuke.

"Father," I bowed to him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He nodded to me, his face showing nothing but cold, restrained fury, "Hinata."

He brushed past me.

This was it. The thing I had control of. My own life.

We were to take a mission the next day. Protect some drunkard bridge builder who called me 'a little princess.' My glare shut him up. I knew people were afraid of my pupil-less white eyes. I was angry, I didn't want to put up with bullshit. I've had enough from my father.

When I was back in my house, my father stood up from his desk. He walked towards me and pulled the collar of my shirt, almost choking me. I stared up at him, losing energy in my body.

"You may choose your teammates, but there will come a time when they will betray you," his voice was soft, venom like. "Your death is your own fault, I'll have nothing to do with it. Now," he threw me backwards, I fell against the wall, pain shot up my elbows as they bumped.

He looked like a giant from where I sat, his shadow growing over my own, "I will not put up with the disrespect from you as I have had today. You've been nothing but a disappointment and dead weight. When you fought against your little sister, you didn't even use real Jyuuken."

I got up, he moved into his stance. I moved into my own.

"Stand strong, you're still a clan head. Next time you fight, you will win by skill and not by surprise. Don't think it'll be easy, I will tell Hanabi the same thing. The loser, as of nature of the clan, will be branded with a cage bird seal."

He rushed in, towards me, blow after blow landing on my head, sides, chest, stomach, pain shot through my nerves, my arms were up. I tried to block, but they just kept coming, hands. Hands that hurt. I fell backwards, onto my knees.

He towered over me. I looked up at him. The wood I sat on was smooth and dark brown, but cold.

I looked down at it, lines tracing up and down.

His foot into my stomach. I fell like a rag doll against the ground, looking up at him. His eyes were still white, cold.

"Get up."

Despite my body screaming, joints aching, blood tasting mouth, I moved. I got up. I stood in a defensive stance, brows knitted together.

"Good. Now stay up," he said. Instead of rushing at me like I expected him to, he walked away. He sat back down at his desk, pencil back in his ear.

I stared warily at him, then slowly walked away.