A/N: Not much to say, except that I got hold of Batman:Arkham Asylum and it's freaking amazing! Also that I start graduate school tomorrow so the updates may get more sporadic. Gulp. I'm pretty nervous. Anyways, please R&R! =D
A Day in the Hospital
"Do you think I'm gonna die?"
Selina looked down at Harley, who was seated on the hospital bed, her legs dangling, her right hand curled over her stomach. The swelling was faint but obvious; Harley had always been fairly thin. Harley's face was red and blotched with crying, and her naked face without makeup was childish. She looked almost like a fat ten-year-old, and the thought gave Selina a chill.
"Don't be silly, Harley," Selina said, with a reassurance she didn't feel. She desperately wanted to get out into Gotham, find the Joker, and demand answers. At least Harley was pretty sure it had been the Joker and not Hush. Count your blessings, she told herself sternly.
"But, Cat, what if it just keeps growin'? I'd explode."
"It's not growing that fast, Harley. They could perform a C-section. You'll be fine." She bit her lip. "You know, if you wanted to now, you could probably get rid of it. That might be the safest option."
Harley looked even more frightened, but she shook her head definitely. "I ain't gonna get rid of Mistah J's kid."
Selina sighed. "Why did I know you were going to say that," she muttered.
At that point, the doctor returned. "We're going to be keeping you under observation, Miss Quinzel. At the rate your—condition—is progressing, it seems likely to be completed within the next twenty-four hours or so."
Harley nodded tearfully. Selina expected her to start crying again, but instead she sniffed and wiped her eyes and managed a watery smile. "Okay," she said. "I'm not gonna die, right?"
The doctor managed a reassuring smile. "Dying from pregnancy is a little outdated, Miss Quinzel."
"Okay."
"Miss Kyle, if I could speak with you for a moment?"
At that moment, Ivy returned to the room, slamming shut the cell phone she had been talking on so hard that the plastic casing cracked across. "Damn," she said absently. "It's no good. I can't get hold of anyone."
"Do you think one of us should go to the police station?"
"Ahm." The doctor cleared his throat. "I wouldn't advise that, Miss Kyle."
"Why not?"
He sighed. "We haven't wanted to worry you or your friend right now, but there are reports of mass hysteria coming in from all over Gotham. The hospitals and the police station are swamped."
Ivy fixed him with a death glare. "And you couldn't tell me this before I spent three hours on the phone because…"
The doctor shuffled uncomfortably. "I don't think any of us realized who you were trying to reach. I know my colleague said something about the young lady's—" he indicated Harley, who was staring down at her stomach with a half-awed, half-fearful expression on her face. "—mother, and we all just assumed. I really do apologize."
Selina snorted at the idea that Harley's mother would be any use at all, then turned her attention back to the doctor. "What kind of mass hysteria?"
"We've been having trouble getting decent reports, but violence toward women has increased, and there have been a number of reports of men—particularly young men—going berserk. There have also been a number of reports of both men and women going catatonic and unresponsive. So far, none of it has reached this side of Gotham, but it appears to be moving in this direction."
Selina shut her eyes. "How long?" she said tersely.
"Judging by the present rate of spread, twenty to twenty-four hours. But of course that's assuming it isn't stopped, and I must say I don't find that a particularly likely scenario."
Ivy turned to Selina. "Do you know how to deliver a baby?"
"Only from the driver's seat, if you know what I mean."
Ivy raised her eyebrows, and Selina wondered what had made her say that. It didn't give anything away, really, but she'd never told anyone since the whole thing had happened. It was over and done with. She wasn't a mother now, and she never would be again, and thinking about it just—hurt. But somehow in the past few weeks Ivy had become—almost a friend. She was faintly surprised when Ivy's only response was to squeeze her arm.
"None of the women are going berserk?" she asked the doctor.
"So far, that's correct," he affirmed.
"Then you wouldn't mind if we asked for a woman doctor and nurses to attend Harley?"
The doctor grimaced. "I'll see what I can do."
It was a long day. The hospital was overcrowded and somewhat understaffed. Apparently a fairly large proportion of the staff usually commuted from the other side of Gotham, and only a few of them had made it in to work. Even so, Harley was put into the ultrasound every hour, and the fetus grew steadily inside her.
At about six o' clock, they heard a muffled obscenity from the ultrasound technician, and she hurried out of the room. Harley gave a small whimper and clutched her belly, which was now visibly distended. "What's wrong?" she said.
"I don't know," Selina answered. "It's probably just the machine going on the fritz again." Bruce, she added mentally. What the hell is wrong with your company's stupid machines?
Ivy slid around the machine to the technician's station. "I don't think it's the machine," she said slowly.
"What is it?" Harley asked shrilly. "What's wrong with my baby?"
The concern in her voice made Selina glance sharply at her, then shake her head. Only Harley would start thinking of a child conceived and growing like this as a part of her. The fact that the Joker presumably had a hand in it probably wasn't helping.
"It's probably either the eyes—"
"What's wrong with her eyes?" The doctors had confirmed about an hour ago that the baby was female.
"Well, they're open and looking right at the machine," Ivy said, and Selina shifted uncomfortably.
"That's somewhat unsettling," she said.
"Yes, but I think the wings might also be part of the problem," Ivy continued.
"Wings?" Selina and Harley chorused in shock.
"You remember the doctors were saying something about an abnormal back formation?"
"Yes but they said it was nothing," Harley said urgently.
"They were right the first time," Ivy said grimly. "It's got wings."
"Ooh," breathed Harley. "Like—like an angel?"
Selina rolled her eyes. Trust Harley.
"Well, yes," Ivy conceded. "Like an angel, or alternatively, like a demon. Or an eagle. Or any one of the numerous other creatures that have wings. Like bats, Harl."
Harley poked out her lower lip. "You don't hafta be mean. It ain't the baby's fault she's so weird."
Selina poked her gently. "Maybe not, Harley, but we're still worried about you, and we don't know what this baby is. Ever seen Alien?"
Harley's face crumpled again, and Selina wished she had thought of a slightly less bloody example, but instead of crying, Harley leaned forward, rubbed her stomach and whispered, "Don't you listen to them, kid. You aren't a monster. Listen to your mama."
Selina looked up at Ivy and both of them choked with laughter. Harley being maternal was a sight to see.
The two of them slept in Harley's room—Ivy curled up on the windowsill, and Selina catnapped on the floor. When they woke up in the morning, Harley was moaning in pain, her stomach very visibly stretched. When they'd gone to sleep, it had been swollen but only a little, a tiny, almost cute bump. Now she looked properly pregnant.
"Harls, what's the matter?" Selina said, springing to her side.
"My tummy hurts and I'm starving," Harley wept.
"Don't worry, we'll get you some food, honey. Calm down. IVY!" Catwoman bellowed, and her friend woke up with a jolt.
"Wha? Yes?"
"We need to get her some food. Now."
"What do you want to eat, Harley?"
"Strawberries."
"Well, that's pretty easy, anyway." Ivy leaned out of the window.
"An' turkey an' cake an' sardines. An' maybe some peanuts. An'…"
Harley's list stretched on until Selina found a pencil and paper and started jotting things down. She checked with the doctors to make sure that the hysteria hadn't spread this far yet, grabbed her bullwhip from where she'd stowed it in an umbrella stand, and made a beeline for the nearest grocery store. Normally she would have preferred stealth, but she was under a deadline and didn't have any ready cash on her, so she made do by threatening the terrified cashier and stealing a shopping cart.
As soon as she got back to the hospital, Harley began to eat. She then proceeded to continue eating.
"We really should have seen this coming," Selina commented mildly to Ivy. "Baby needs a lot of food."
Harley took a pause in tearing through a packet of pepperoni to breathe and say, "Gabby."
"Gabby?"
"Her name's Gabby. Short for Gabriella." She then went back to stuffing foodly substances into her mouth.
Selina eyed the rapidly depleting supplies. "Someone's going to have to make another food run," she said tiredly.
It proved difficult to start the hourly ultrasounds again. Harley refused to go without ample supplies of food and was starting to worry that the radiation might hurt the baby.
"Harley," Ivy said in exasperation. "Ultrasound doesn't hurt normal children, much less demonic things growing at ridiculous rates."
"Gabby ain't a demon," Harley protested matter-of-factly. "And she's gettin' a lot more radiation all at once."
"Harley," Selina said, losing patience. "Just get in the damn machine."
Harley sulked but obeyed.
Apart from the wings and the eyes (and the excessively rapid growth), the baby seemed to be developing normally, which pleased Harley no end. One of the doctors took Selina and Ivy aside at noon. "I'm a little worried about the wings," she said, then gave a short, hysterical-sounding laugh. "Good god! I just hear myself! Anyways, it could pose a problem for the birth canal, and she's not that wide in the hips to begin with. We should probably think about a Cesarean section in about eight hours." She gave another half-laugh at the last statement and rushed off.
Harley, when told the news, just sighed. "It's not like I got my perfect body to think of, is it?" she mumbled dispiritedly. Selina put her arm around Harley. She and Ivy had tried to get her to take some stronger painkillers, but she'd said they might be "bad for the baby." Catwoman had to hand it to her. She was really brave when she felt as if she needed to be.
At first, Harley had just been a roommate, a somewhat erratic one, a pretty friendly roommate whom she'd helped to Hush's money, but still. It was only quite recently that Selina had found herself warming to the younger woman. She was cheerful and if she was a little selfish most of the time, she could occasionally be very generous. She played the dumb blonde most of the time, but occasionally Cat saw the doctor peering through the little-girl façade. She got the feeling sometimes that Harley had never really wanted to grow up. And yet, somehow, she was handling this—this thing. Probably better than Selina herself would have.
The long afternoon wore on. Harley ate. Ivy went on another food run. They got the doctors to bring them in Charlie's Angels and laughed themselves sick while Harley dipped French fries in ice cream and complained about not being able to lie on her stomach.
It was around five-thirty. They'd just finished watching Charlie's Angels for the second time, amid frequent stops for ultrasound and other doctor's checks. Harley gave a gasp and clutched her midsection, which was as large as a beach ball (as Ivy had rather unkindly remarked a few minutes ago and been mercilessly beaten with a pillow as a result.)
"Harley?" Selina slid off the bed and stood next to her.
Harley gulped. "Think it might be Gabby."
"All right. Stay calm and take deep breaths. She's a little early, isn't she?"
"Earlier than the doctors thought, anyway," Ivy replied. "I'll go get someone."
She was moving toward the door when the lights flickered and went out. Selina cursed, wishing she had a pair of her night-vision goggles. If they hadn't had to leave so quickly…
"What's going on?" Harley shrilled. Then she gave an oomph noise, and Hush's voice spoke quietly from behind her.
"Hush, my dear. Now, now—" as Catwoman reached for something to use as a weapon. "I wouldn't be too hasty, if I were you. We wouldn't want anything tragic to happen to your dear little harlequin, would we?"
The tell-tale click of a lighter preceded the wavering flame that shot up to illuminate the gleaming black barrel of a gun resting gently on Harley's temple.
"Um, guys?" Harley squeaked. "Please don't annoy the nice man!"
"Shut up," Hush said calmly. "The next time I hear your voice, Harley, I'm going to blast your brains out."
Harley, quivering, was silent.
"What do you want, Hush? Haven't you done enough?" spat Catwoman. Every muscle in her quivered with desire to lash out at him, but with the gun right at Harley's head she couldn't risk it.
"Do I detect some hostility, Kitty?" He brought the hand holding the lighter close to the unmarred half of Harley's face, and she whimpered but didn't say anything.
"Don't hurt her," Ivy said.
Hush smiled at her. "I won't. Assuming you delightful ladies just come with me. Oh, don't glance toward the door. The doctors are all quite busy right now, I can assure you. I'm afraid you really don't have a choice in the matter. Well, I suppose you do, but somehow, Cat, I don't think you're going to let dear Harleen's brains be splattered across the wall."
Catwoman hissed low in her throat. "Harley can't be moved. She's about to go into labor and she can't walk."
"Fortunately for her, I can carry her," Hush answered. "And don't worry, we've got transportation waiting. Harley, I suggest you don't struggle."
He lifted her from the bed far too easily for a man trying to lift a heavily-pregnant woman going into labor. "Come along now."