Note: Finally not a cliffhanger haha, enjoy this new part. Tips are always very welcome! x
The things I'm keeping from you
For a moment it's death silent and then Ellianna starts to laugh.
'It is?! Oh I'm so sorry I didn't-.' 'It isn't,' Remus interrupts her. Sirius looks at him, he is slightly red and he is under no circumstance looking at Sirius. Was he lying? Or did he just feel really awkward that Sirius had just found out Remus was very gay.
After another silence, Remus finally turned towards Remus.
'Since I told her I like boys, she is assuming I crush on every boy I talk to,' Remus explains and Ellianna makes a protesting noise, but Remus' stern look, cuts her off. Sirius can still see the flush in his neck and wonders if he looks the same.
'You like boys?' Sirius asks carefully.
'And girls,' Remus says, 'I don't really like labels, but I think you could say I'm bisexual.'
'Oh,' was the only thing Sirius could say. He thought for a moment and Remus watched him with a small smile. He didn't even seemed to be bothered by the question, while Sirius would probably have gone mad if someone had asked him and told him he was straight. Obviously.
'How did you… know?' Sirius asked softly. He was glad Ellianna had stopped listening to their conversation and was now playing a song on her iPod, lip-syncing the lyrics.
Remus shrugged and said: 'I guess I always knew and when I kissed a boy for the first time, it felt right as well. Not very different from girls.' Sirius thought back to his kiss with James. It had been different from girls. It wasn't the same, because it had felt better… more straight forward. Less touching, more kissing… snogging. Sirius swallowed. He had liked it more than with girls. There was nothing straight about that.
'Is everything alright?' Remus asked. Why did he keep asking that stupid question? Like it was any of his business, like Sirius wanted to talk about this? He didn't want to and he didn't need to. Remus just needed to fuck off. Everyone needed to fuck off.
'Yes. I got to go,' Sirius said, 'enjoy your chocolate and… get better soon and stuff.'
'Sirius! Wait!' but Sirius was already gone. He took the stairs this time, because he wouldn't be able to stand still. He just needed to get out of here. Get away from everything. By the time Sirius had reached the entrance of the hospital he felt the tears behind his eyes. Again. If there was anything Sirius hated, it was crying. He wasn't going to cry like a stupid baby again. He felt already like enough of an idiot; for coming here, for crying this weekend, for kissing James… for being a fag.
Sirius kicked hard against the bench, but the pain only made him more angry so he walked through with his hands in his pockets. He had gotten a bus to get here, but he decided walking would be better, just so he could avoid people or at least most of them.
'Hey, Sirius, wait up!' He heard a familiar voice and absolutely wasn't going to turn around. He might be out of weed and he needed some more, but he wouldn't get that from Cedric, not after what he had tried the other day.
'Sirius.' Cedric had caught up with him anyways and had grabbed Sirius arm, to turn him around.
'What?' Sirius snapped. Cedric raised an eyebrow.
'I just… wanted to apologize, you know… for Friday.'
'Aren't you supposed to be in school?'
'Aren't you?'
'I have a free period,' Sirius lied, looking straight in Cedric's face. Oh, what a good liar he was.
'Oh,' Cedric replied, 'well… me too, but… I am sorry man. I really thought you were… you know… like me.'
'Oh? And what is like you? A bloody faggot, eh?'
'Well you could all it like that,' Cedric frowned.
'Look, "man", I'm not gay and if I was, I wouldn't be into a junky like you, so get the fuck away from me.'
'Alright then, just when you need some more… you know, you can come to me and you should stop being so angry all the time.'
'I'M COMPLETELY CALM!' Sirius shouted. He broke free and slumped away, only to hear Cedric whisper: 'yeah, right.'
xxx
'Sirius, we are not going to beat up first years, just because you feel like shit,' James said frowning.
'I don't feel like shit. I'm bored and those little shits are annoying.'
'If I want to impress Evans, I-.' 'Have to be boring?'
'No!' James said immediately, 'I'm not boring. Okay, fine, but we do a prank, no beating up. That has never been our style and you know that.' Sirius sighed, but agreed.
'We're pranksters, not bullies,' Peter said wisely.
'Shut up, Wormtail!'
'He's right, Padfoot. We are not bullies. We don't hurt other people because it makes us feel better, alright?'
'Yeah, alright,' Sirius mumbled. Already feeling a bit better because his best friend was there. Now he had a prank to look forward to, a light in this dark world that was consuming him almost completely.
'Good. Now who wants to test out the new stink bombs we got?'
'Lame,' Sirius said but he grinned.
'You love it,' James said. Sirius didn't say anything, but he pushed James in a playful way and laughed.
'Alright, Wormy, you got the last stack so you can choose were we are going to throw them.' Sirius could see Peter glow as James told him that. He never really made the decisions, but Sirius knew James was going easy on him because Sirius had been treating him so badly.
'Can we do Binns? He gave me a P on my last exam because apparently I had everything wrong, while I had the same answers as Sirius and Sirius had an A.'
'Mate, you were the one cheating, not me,' Sirius laughed.
'Yeah, well the brilliantly of some doesn't come just by doing nothing,' Peter muttered.
'Hey, I'm the one getting tutor lessons, not you,' Sirius pointed out. James rolled his eyes.
'Okay cry baby's, come one, lets go do it then.'
'Only because your parents can afford them and mine ca-.' 'Wormy, please shut up. Siri has been in a very bad mood lately and bringing you to the school doctor once a week is already more than enough.'