Author's Note: Helloooo! I have emerged from my hole to announce to you all that I am still alive!! And to provide you with a new chapter! I'm apologize for the wait. But it's here now and I hope you enjoy! PS: I know that people in Philly don't have Southern accents... in the last chapter, it was just Corey who had one! Sorry for the confusion! Song - Leann Rhymes 'How Do I Live'

How do I

Get through one night without you?

If I had to live without you

What kind of life would that be?

…

It was a new kind of pain. One different from all she had felt in the past few months. It was not created by the feeling of loss, nor was it from the ache of loneliness. It was a pain of admission. A pain of knowing what had to be done - something, it seemed, that she had known since the start. Brennan had her decision from the moment the subject had been brought up out loud, but despite this she had told the doctors she needed some time to think about it. This, she now understood, what the reason Booth had named her his medical proxy. He had foreseen that she could make these decisions for him, even if simply admitting the situation was the last thing she wanted to do. He knew she'd put him first.

Since the beginning she had hid herself from this possibility, afraid of what she'd feel. Now that the moment was here all she felt was emptiness. Like somehow she had been drained of her remaining defences, which seemed to have simply been a foundation of false hope. What surprised her most was that she wasn't crying. She had yet to shed a tear. It made sense though, she doubted there was enough left in her to produce the tears.

In Booth's childhood bedroom she stood, clad in a ratty Jeffersonian t-shirt and an old pair of sleep shorts. The darkness engulfing her was broken only by the beams of light the full moon sent in through the open window. Her family album lay on the desk in front of where she stood, open to a snapshot of her and Booth in Vegas. Brennan's attention however, was directed at the corkboard hanging on the wall, overflowing with everything her partner had once deemed important. Brennan found herself standing in this spot nearly every night for hours at a time. Each of these times, when she felt that her exhaustion could finally overpower her nightmares, she would climb back into bed thinking that she had memorized each inch of Booth's board of keepsakes, only to be proven wrong the next night when her inability to sleep would bring her back. Tonight, partially hidden behind a faded napkin, she discovered a Polaroid of a teenage Booth, surrounded by three friends. All of the boys were smiling happily, and it wasn't until she gently lifted the napkin and found a ticket to a Pittsburgh Stealers game, did she understand their excitement. This was the picture she had been studying for the past half hour, granted, her thoughts had been taking priority.

It truly had been an interesting experience to get such a different perspective of her partner - from pictures like these, to the many stories his family so eagerly told her. She felt like she knew him better than she had before. But still, there were things she needed to tell him - things she concluded, understood or discovered. Things that she usually shared with him. And, of course, there were many stories she could tease him about - little tidbits of information that she could use to her advantage. Ones she could hold over his head at the most opportune of moments. It seemed now though, that she would never get the chance.

Without you

There would be no sun in my sky

There would be no love in my life

There would be no world left for me

And I

Baby, I don't know what I would do

I'd be lost if I lost you

It was then that she heard the old floorboard creek from outside the bedroom door. Brennan smiled despite her previous thought, and redirected her attention back to the picture of her smiling partner. She waited a few moments, just as she always did, before she made her way out of the room, careful to miss the loose floorboard on her way out.

Halfway down the stairs the smell of brewing cocoa reached her nostrils, and she found herself hurrying the rest of the way. The sight that greeted her, like it had so many times before, was Joe Booth - hair dishevelled, dressed in a plaid housecoat, his back to her. He whistled a merry tune as he prepared two mugs of hot cocoa - something they both enjoyed despite the hideously warm summer nights - and she smiled when she noticed he already set up the scrabble board on the island counter.

"Why hello, love." He said with surprise, as if he hadn't been expecting her to show up. "Fancy meeting you here." Joe sent her the family's signature smile as he slid a mug towards her. "Have a seat, it's time to get down to business."

Brennan smiled as Joe rubbed his palms together enthusiastically before diving into the bag of lettered chips. She spent most of these near-nightly meetings trying to comprehend the mystery behind her partner's father. Although she wasn't quite she how, she knew with certainty that Joe understood her. He knew which nights she wouldn't be able to sleep, so he would walk by her room using the creeky floorboard to alert her that he was up and willing for company. He would greet her the same way each time, giving the impression that he was unaware that she was awake, somehow knowing that she didn't want to admit to needing someone's presence. And during these visits, despite knowing that she had things to say, he'd concentrate on their scrabble game - offering advice, solace, and comfort to her inner struggles only if she addressed them first.

The cocoa, which she very much enjoyed, seemed to be symbolic of something as well. Brennan had discovered quickly that Joe was not a fan of marshmallows, but despite this, he routinely ensured there was plenty in stock so he could add two to hers. In fact, in one instance, they had met in the middle of the night and he was completely enraged to find the bag was empty and promised her it would not happen again. He had stayed true to his word. The whole idea of cocoa and marshmallows was a gesture that seemed so parent-like that Brennan felt a rush of affection for the man each time he handed her the mug. And despite her normal bluntness, she didn't have the heart to tell him that she didn't like the marshmallows either. Though, if she was honest with herself, she had grown far more fond of them over the last two months.

Joe played silently, as he always did, creating the impression that his thoughts were focused solely on strategy. Truth be told however, he had played this game so much in his lifetime that he had long since been able to do so without a thought. Occasionally though, he'd break his façade long enough to study the girl before him, trying to pinpoint her reason for being awake. She would tell him. She always did. But by watching her when she thought he wasn't, he usually had it figured out before she worked up the courage to tell him.

As he watched her, teasing him for his 'juvenile words', he saw a deep sadness floating in her pretty eyes, though she was attempting to keep it concealed. He was used to seeing it, though. He had met her this way. Throughout the last weeks, this woman had become like a daughter to him. There was something about her that had reached out and clutched at his heart on the day he had met her. Maybe it was her awkwardness, it always had a way of making him chuckle, but it made her seem so vulnerable in situations when her intelligence didn't play a factor. Watching her with his family, he understood that simply being here was far out of her comfort zone and he often wondered what horrible incident had occurred in her life that caused her to be so afraid of showing herself to people. Afraid of trusting and feeling. Though granted she had become much more comfortable as the weeks had wore on, he still often sensed her unease. Someday he would ask her, but for now, he'd stick to more comfortable territory.

"Tell me, love." He began. "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" He smiled over at her as he put down another three letter word and gained a mere three points.

She looked up at him, staring as she often did. While others would think things through out loud, humming and hawing as they made a decision, she simply stared and kept her thoughts to herself until she was sure of her answer. After a moment she sighed, looking back down at the letters, shuffling a couple around.

"That's a difficult question." She was silent for a moment before looking back at him. "You first." She smiled at him. "Why Paris?"

"Aw, love. I asked you first." He wagged his finger in her direction, but decided to answer anyway. There was no way he'd get her to answer before she was ready. "Linda and me, we were supposed to go there for our Honeymoon. It was a pretty rough time money wise, so we decided to put it off. The years flew by, we had the kids and haven't had a spare moment since."

"That still doesn't explain why you'd pick Paris, of all places." She raised her eyebrows, smirking. "You know, it's often referred to as 'The City of Romance'. Does that play a factor?"

He smiled. "Possibly."

She nodded, rolling her eyes. "What is it with you people? You are mind-numbingly traditional!"

"Tell me, love. What's wrong with a little tradition?"

She watched him for a moment. "Nothing, I guess." She smiled. "If you want to go so badly, why don't you just go? I mean, if it's going to be as spectacular as you say it is, than isn't it worth making a little time for?" She returned to her letters after she spoke, obviously leaving her questions to be rhetorical.

After a few moments of silence, he began to prod. "Now's the time when it's your turn to answer."

Brennan brought her eyes back to his. "I- this question difficult for me." She paused. "When I travel, I don't think I really see things right."

"Why's that?"

The curtain that had shielded her eyes fell away and the sadness within them was magnified. Joe felt his chest twist watching her inner battles displayed before him as she looked in his direction.

"Work." She said simply. "I've never gone anywhere where there wasn't remains to examine, rituals to study or books to be signed. I guess I don't really take the time to look around me. Which, in reality, is what an anthropologist is supposed to do." She fidgeted with some of the game pieces, though the actual game was forgotten. "You know," she whispered, smiling softly, "Booth is always on my case about things like that."

Joe smiled at the mention of his son. He understood completely.

"He'll say, 'Come on, Bones. Live a little.' Or, 'there's more things in heaven and earth.'." Tears filled her eyes. "He's spent our entire partnership trying to getting me to live my life. Teaching me how and- and without him here, I wonder how I ever did it before. And now-" She took a deep shuddering breath, tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "I-"

Joe watched her bite her lip, trying to fight down her emotions. He reached over, placing his hand upon hers, knowing he was about to find out the reason why she couldn't sleep.

She swallowed. "The doctors want me to consider taking him off the life support." She spoke clearly - without a tremble. "And I-" Her voice began to crack, and the shuddery breathing returned. "And I have to do it."

Joe's chest constricted painfully. He had avoided this possibility the entire time, but facing it now was unavoidable. He pulled back, his back rigid, staring at her.

She was quiet, but for the sounds of her jagged breaths. Her eyes were still glassy, and her cheeks still wet. She looked frightened, but he couldn't find any words to sooth her. He figured that he may need some himself.

"Please, don't be mad at me." If the room hadn't been so quiet, he wouldn't have heard her whisper. Before he could reassure her, she continued quickly. "I know I should have asked everyone what they thought before I made up my mind, but it just happened so fast. I haven't told the doctors, so they have nothing planned and if you really don't want me to, I won't. But, you have to understand the situation. When Booth is lying there like he is - he's not living. It's not even close. And by keeping him the way he is, it's keeping him from the one place he's always wanted to go." She paused, breathing heavily. His heart shattered as he took in just how terrified she actually was. Though again, she interrupted him before he could speak. "He has spent his entire life trying to make himself a man worthy of heaven. It's in everything he does and - I mean, I don't believe in God, and I always argue with him about it but -" She choked slightly on a sob. "But, if he does - if he believes that heaven really is a place… and it's as important to him as it is - then who am I to keep him from it?"

The whispers of her last words echoed in Joe's head as the room filled with silence. He had never thought it would come down to this. He hadn't even let himself believe that it would be an option. Though, with Seeley doing what he did, it should have been blaringly obvious that the day may come when he'd have to bury a child. His eyes filled with tears at the very thought, and he knew more would come.

He reached across the counter once more, taking Brennan's hand and squeezing it between his own. She knocked the board and jumbled the pieces as she added her other hand to their bond, though both could care less. Joe stared at her for a long time before either of them spoke. And she stared back. Sitting there with her, he wondered how odd it would be for Seeley to see them like this. Crying and clutching each others hands for dear life over an abandoned scrabble game, with mugs of cold cocoa at their sides. Seeley was the only one who knew them both so he knew better than anyone that it was extremely rare for either of them to show any type of emotion - let alone in front of anyone else. Realizing this was the moment that Joe understood, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was his baby girl in every way, even if not but blood.

Squeezing her hands tighter he said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his sobs from preventing him from what he had to say. "You listen to me. I could never be mad at you. Do you understand me?" She nodded softly, her tears flowing harder. "You're right, love. You're right. It's time to let him go."

"It's time…" She murmured it over and over again, through her sobs and jagged breaths.

Joe momentarily forgot his own pain in an effort to attempt to stop hers. He knew he couldn't though. His son meant to much to her and there was no way to fix what had happened. Or what would happen soon. So he settled for the next best thing.

"Love?" He whispered, trying to gain her full attention. "Hey. Listen to me. This is what we're going to do." When she was looking at him he continued. "We're going to forget about this for now. You leave for D.C in the morning and just enjoy your trip will Shelby. Okay? We'll figure everything out when you get back."

She nodded solemnly, her sobs dying down, but the clouds in her eyes still clearly visible.

"But before you go, I want you to understand something." He cupped her chin with one of his hands, ensuring that her attention was his. "No matter what happens… you are a part of this family."

Her eyes filled with fresh tears, and he knew he'd found the source to at least one of her internal anxieties.

"You will always be a part of this family."

And tell me now

How do I live without you?

I want to know

How do I breathe without out?

If you ever go?

How would I ever, ever survive?

How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

A/N: Say it with me… Awwwww! Just in the stages of planning the next chap.. Shouldn't take to long to get it posted. Please revieeeewww!!!