Chapter 10

She sat at the table in the cooking area. The suns had been down for hours. Ferre was nursing a mug of warm milk and watching. She could feel her hazel eyes on her and she knew that Ferre was waiting on her to talk.

"The girls are asleep," Ferre said finally breaking the silence.

"I know."

"You want to tell me what's really going on with you these last few weeks?"

"Yes."

"I've got until this one decides to come," Ferre told her as she rubbed her very pregnant belly.

"I know."

"Then start somewhere and we will find our way to your solution," Ferre demanded.

She looked at her sister-in-law. She was the only one who bothered to help her get through the pain. She was the only one that Palla trusted completely and she knew it was because she was Tamma's twin. They were very radically different, but every time she looked into Ferre's eyes, she believed that Tamma was still with her. She took a deep breath and then looked at her hands resting on the kitchen table.

"Want a drink?"

"Sure," Palla answered.

"Water?"

"Something stronger?"

"Ale or wine?"

"Either," Palla replied.

Ferre poured her a glass of a dark blue ale and set it in front of her on the table. She moved around the table and sat down in her seat again. She waited for Palla to start talking. She didn't want to push her, but she knew that Palla needed to talk. She could always tell, even when Palla was married to her sister, Tamma.

"So?"

"There is a ship."

"A ship?"

"In orbit?"

"Here?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"They are here to colonize?" Palla answered in question.

"Why is that a question?"

"It isn't really."

"Then, what is it?" Ferre asked her.

"They are the last of the Earthlings."

"The last?"

"Yes."

"And, they've come here?" Ferre asked.

"They are looking for somewhere to live. They are on an Eligius ship. They found record of our forebears mission and they've come looking."

"You're going to let them land?"

"Yes."

"There's more, isn't there?" Ferre inquired.

"Always."

"There is something about their leader."

"What?"

"She reminds me of Tamma, but darker...deeper...scared...scarred even."

"What does she look like?" Ferre asked.

"Her hair is the color of summer corn silk and her eyes are like the midday blue of the sky."

"And, you like her," Ferre replied.

"I don't, but she is just beautiful. She's damaged like me. She carries the weight of her people like I do, but she has a daughter, who is the actual ruler. Her daughter worries about her. I actually feel some sort of connection to her, but nothing strange. It is like I know her already."

"That is different," Ferre stated.

"She's young, like no more than thirteen summers, and I can't explain it."

"Can't explain what?" Ferre inquired.

"When she looks at me, she sees me, Ferre. Like you do, like Tamma did, it is like she's seen the same destruction I have and she gets it. But, Clarke, her mother, she wears the destruction. It is odd to see the same eyes on them both, but know that they aren't related by blood."

"The youngling has blue eyes?"

"Yes," Palla said, "But, her hair is chesnut. She carries herself like she's seen lifetimes of strife and war, but she is so young. I cannot explain her. She is a mystery and solution. She is a paradox. She is a woman-child and the leader of four hundred plus souls with a place to call home."

"And, you think that they will blend well with us?"

"I don't know. I hope so. They are the last of Earth," Palla told her.

"You are sure of this?"

"No, I am not."

"But?" Ferre asked.

"I've asked them to come down in a small party. They have agreed. I've set up some positions at the Processing Station. I will not let them harm the Village, Ferre. I can't. I need to be sure of their intentions, but I can't leave them in space either. I want to believe them. Part of me already does, and honestly, I don't know why."

"Because you are drawn to them."

"Maybe, but I don't know why?"

"Do you think that Tamma brought them here?" Ferre asked and watched her, waiting to see the reaction in Palla's dark eyes.

Palla sat back in the chair hard and looked deeply in the hazel eyes of her lover's sister. She hadn't thought of that because she didn't necessarily still subscribe to the religious beliefs of her people. She would fight for them. She would die for them, but she wasn't sure that she still believed the ancient stories.

"You think that the child is Tamma?"

"Does is fit?"

"Maybe, I don't know. But, I doubt that Tamma went to the stars to find this girl to bring her here. What would the point be? I could never love her like Tamma. She is far to young," Palla stated.

"Maybe you aren't supposed to love her like that, Sor. Maybe she is the light that you've been searching for. Who knows? We all know that Eligius works in mysterious ways. And, as much as you don't want to admit it, you still believe in the Guf. If Tamma is there, maybe she sent someone else to be with you."

"Ferre..."

"No, listen to what you've even said to me about this...Over four hundred souls...SOULS, Sor, not lives or people, you refer to them as souls. That means something and you know it. You're drawn to her and her mother. That means something. Maybe the girl isn't Tamma, but Tamma wouldn't want you to wallow in darkness alone forever."

"I'm not wallowing."

"You keep sending Lex here for us to raise for you. You took her in and you can't handle it. Admit it. You're still lost and you need something...someone to guide you. Your heart still hearts and your brain is always ready for war. You haven't stopped since you came home with the peace accord with the Praha."

She started to say something, but stopped with Ferre reached across the table and took her hands in her own. Their eyes met and she could see the worry on Ferre's face. She knew that she was right. She'd stopped living the day she found Tamma, but this wasn't living either. She was a ghost of herself and Lex was suffering for it. She'd promised Ferre and Balt that she would care for Lex and not shut her out and she had been. She'd broken her promise. She'd done so many things that she wasn't proud of, but that was like a strike across her face when she realized. She'd failed...again.

"You aren't a failure, Sor. You aren't. You've had a difficult life. And, don't think that I wasn't gunning for blood after Tamma's death; I was. I wanted my revenge, too. But, you...you'd gotten it for us all in spades. No one could have predicted what you did, not even the Praha. They wanted a war and you took it to them. You slaughtered every warrior you could find, hoping that he was the one that brutalized Tamma. I get it. I got it. But, we both know that wasn't what Tamma would have wanted. And, when the fog lifted, you offered peace. You stepped back and you gave them an out."

"But, still they attack."

"And, they will continue. It is there way. We know that. But, you didn't go riding in on that pale horse and obliterate an entire civilization. You stopped yourself."

"You stopped me."

"I reminded you of who and what you were, nothing more," Ferre stated.

"And, you still do," Palla replied.

"Well, someone has to," Ferre teased.

"I'm being serious," Palla stated.

"I am, too. Sor, you've been fighting for so long that I wonder if it is all you know. You keep waiting for something bad to happen, and don't get me wrong, I am glad that you do. You keep us all safe. You keep us protected and ready for something that might not ever happen, but we're ready regardless. You stepped up when no one else would. You took on responsibilities that no one else wanted and you continue to do so because it is what you were meant to do. This changes nothing and we both know it."

"I don't know that."

"Sure you do. You want them to assimilate. And, it might take a while, but I am sure they will. They are refugees and you don't want them to suffer. I get that, but you are still wary of them. It is right to be so, but you also know that you want to help them. So, let's help them become Terrens."

"I should allow them to make that choice," Palla replied.

"They are here, aren't they? I believe that they've made that choice because they want to survive. They've come to only other planet known to man to have humans on it. Sure, this isn't Earth. We don't consider ourselves Earthlings anymore. We've been here for generations and we've survived and thrived. It might take them awhile, but they will have us to help them. Just like you had us to bring you back. I am not saying that they will all need us, but I am sure that they will want to fit in and to do that, they will need to get to know us. But, I think that they might want their own place to be."

"Meaning?"

"You should offer them some of the land south of your farm," Ferre suggested. "Let them make their own village there. They will still be close enough to us if they need us and we can still trade with them as needed. Besides, it would just be like we were starting a new town. And, you know that some of the Villagers will want to go."

"They would."

"Ask them. Ask the Village. But, start at the Processing Station like you've thought out for the Winter."

"It just made sense. I am not sure that they are ready for our winters. They've been in space, asleep, for a hundred twenty-five years. Who knows what that has done to their bodies? I just want to make sure that a war doesn't start and that they have the best possible chance to survive here. Is that wrong?"

"No, Sor, it isn't. And, that is why you are our leader. You care...sometimes to the detriment of your own health and mind, but I thank Eligius that you do. I don't think I could handle what you've done and still be sane. And, trust me when I know that part of you never was, but you've handled a lot and still kept us all alive. You've suffered and still suffer for us. Tamma would be proud of you."

"Are you?" Palla asked her sheepishly.

"Yes."

She nodded and finished her drink. As soon as she sat it on the table, Hrathgar came in the door. He looked at the both and cocked an eyebrow at Palla. She smiled at a man she considered her brother more than through marriage. She pointed to a seat at the table. He nodded, grabbed the bottle of blue ale and tumbler for himself.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his deep voice booming in the kitchen.

"There is a ship."

"They coming to colonize, too?"

"They are the last of Earth by their tales."

"And, you believe them?"

"I don't know. But, they have sought us out for refuge. I want to try."

"How did they find us?"

"They are Eligius, too," Palla stated.

"Then let them come," Hrathgar replied.

"I need your help."

"You want to mobilize?" he asked.

"In a manner of speaking," Palla started.

"She needs help preparing the barracks at the Processing Station for them," Ferre added.

"Then, I will get some men together. I will let the farmers know to watch our farms and we will go. When do you want us there?"

"Tomorrow?"

"I will see to it, Palla. Do not worry. We will not fail our brethren."

"Thank you both."

"You are our sister and the Palla," he replied.

"Being Palla..."

"Is your right and your privilege, Sor. Don't negate it. You've earned it, just as your blood made you Fio. Now, go get some sleep in your own bed tonight. We'll go with you on the morrow," Ferre ordered her.