TMNT

Okay, this is a request by MabelDipperTails. This one has mentions of self harm and insecurities, and by the turtle we least expected, and honestly, depending on how it goes, this may go on for a few more chapters, I don't know. We'll have to see. I know I have a similar story out, about self harm, and you guys are more than welcome to read that. This stuff is hard to write, so I imagine it isn't easy to read, but it really is worth it. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this, and let's hope I don't end up crying. Love you, guys. Oh, and I changed my username so it will match with my Instagram, Twitter, and all that stuff. So, feel free to follow me so I can keep you guys updated on my updates and what not. -Writer082499

Donnie's POV

I was walking to my room, when I heard a soft cry. I turn around, examining my surroundings, but not finding anything that was making the soft cries. I look over and see Mikey's door, and I slowly make my way over there, careful that no one heard me, and I listen. The cries were coming from his room, and I felt something in my chest ache. I don't bother knocking before I open the door, and find my worse nightmare. There, was my little brother, with a razor blade in his hand, and his wrists were bleeding. He looks over at me, the tears in his eyes falling to his cheeks. Tell me this was a nightmare… this couldn't be real. Could it?

"Mikey…?", I ask, walking beside him, taking the razor from his hands, gripping it so hard I felt it cut my hand. "What are you doing? What are you thinking?"
"You're right… it does take away the pain…", my eyes widen as I drop the razor and pull him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry you walked in on it, though."

"Why? Why?", I cry. He didn't cry. He just let me hug him. He didn't hug me back. Nothing. He just sat there. He was numb. How I knew? He learned from me that cutting "takes away the pain," when it really doesn't. It just makes everything worse. "Mikey, why!?"

"Because it's not like any of you would care anyway.", he snaps. I release him from the hug, but take both of his shoulders, looking into his baby blue eyes and the moment he saw the tears rolling down my face, he cried.

"I wouldn't care? Mikey, another inch and you could have bled to death. Do you honest to God think I wouldn't care if something happened to you!?", I nearly scream at him, not knowing what else to do. I was so terrified and my body was shaking. "Mikey, do you know what I would do if I lose you? I couldn't live with myself. And I was wrong, cutting doesn't help. It just leaves scars that never go away and are a painful reminder."

"I deserve the pain, though, don't I? I'm a horrible little brother… all of you guys think so…", he says.

"Mikey, you are my entire world.", I bust into harder tears, thinking of what could have happened if I didn't walk in at all and he kept going. I would have walked in the next morning or something to find him… no… don't think about that. "You're everything to me, Mikey. You're the best little brother ever. I can't live without you."

"You're just saying that.", he gets up, and runs out of the lair. I follow him. Leo and Raph were in the dojo, having no idea what was going on. I don't know how they'd react if they found out Mikey, our little brother, was acting like this. I should have grabbed the blade he had before I left and threw it away. I'll have to be sure to do that later.

Everything in my chest aches. The thought of my little brother being this way, was enough to break me. I don't know how I would feel… is something were to happen to him. I don't know if I could live with myself. I wouldn't be able to. I don't think Raph or Leo would be able to. And I thought Raph is angry when nothing is wrong. He hides his emotions with anger. What is he going to do when he learns of this?

"Mikey, please.", I call for him, trying my best to reach him, but he is way faster than me. He goes Topside, going on the roofs. By the time I manage to get there, he was gone. Tears form in my eyes and I wanted to scream. How was I going to find him when he was so fast and he didn't have his T-Phone on him? I had to find him, though. If I didn't I was going to lose my best friend in the entire world. The one who means the most to me.

No, Donatello, no thinking like that. Find Mikey.

"Mikey, little bro!", I call, landing on another rooftop. After 20 minutes of searching I still didn't find him, so I decided I was going to have to draw him out. And, I knew just the way. Sadly, I don't have any pizza on me, and I can't get it myself right now, that would take too long. I apologize in advance, little brother, but this is for your own good. I fall to my back, then begin to yell. "Mikey! Help!"

It worked.

"Donnie!?", my little brother's voice filled the air, and within moments he came to my side. "Who did this to you? I'll kill them!"

"No need.", I get up, looking at him, taking his arm before he had the chance to run off again. He curses under his breath, figuring out my plan. "You know… running isn't going to help."

"You cut before, though, and you said it helped.", Mikey says. I roll my eyes, taking off my bandages on my wrist, looking at the cuts.

"Do you honestly think this helps? I regret each cut, Mikey, and I could have easily lost my life to this.", I look at him, and we both sit down. "Mikey… you saved me from this… let me do the same for you…"

"I can't let you.", he says, as I pull him into a hug, that I never wanted to let go of. "I'm too much of a burden right now."

"No, you're not, Mikey. Never think that.", I hug him tighter. "Mikey… do you know what I would have done if I lost you?"

"W-what…?", he asks.

"I would have lost everything. Mikey, without you… I wouldn't be able to go on.", I tell him. He nods, laying his head on my chest.

"I'm sorry, Donnie."

"Don't be, just let me help you.", I tell him. He nods, and we just sit there for a few minutes, in silence, in each others arms, scared to let go. "We better get home before Raph or Leo notice we're gone."

"Aren't you disappointed in me?", he asks. I shake my head.

"No, I'm not, Mikey. I just want to help you.", I say. "I just want you to be okay, alright? Remember, we're in this together."

"Thanks, Donnie.", he hesitates for a moment, but he was better than what he was before. We got to the lair, and saw Leo and Raph standing there, waiting for us.

"Where were you guys? I've been calling constantly and no one answered.", Leo says.

"We were really worried, guys, are you alright?", that's when Raph saw it. My bandages were off, and Mikey's cuts were still fresh. "M-Mikey… what's going on here?"

"I… I…", Mikey busts into tears and even before I can react Leo and Raph pulls both of us in a hug, and we all fell to the ground, Leo and Raph holding on to both of us, and Mikey somehow wound up in my arms as well. "I'm sorry.", he cries even harder.

"Mikey. Please. Don't. You mean so much to us.", Leo whispers. Raph held us in a tight grip.

"Do you guys think we want something to happen to you guys!? Do you even realize how much we care about you?", Raph asks. "Mikey, I just don't understand why."

"Because I just want the pain to go away. Donnie said it helped."

"It doesn't. Mikey. It makes everything so much worse. I don't want you to go through what I did. I couldn't live with myself if I allowed that to happen.", I whisper to him. "It hurts you more than it helps."

"I guess you would know.", Mikey looks up at us. "Don't worry, guys I'll get better. But don't let me go, please."

"We never will. We promise.", Leo says. And that night, we all made a huge bed in the main room, and slept there, and I watched Mikey throw his blade in the sewers. Then, I patched him up.

"I love you, Donnie."

"I love you, too, Mikey."

So, maybe not my best work, but hey, I tried. What do y'all think? Reviews please!