REWRITTEN!

AN: I will be making a break with updating after this one, since I have in mind to participate in a competition of writing a five-paged prose to the Danish Jakob Hansens Literature Festival on Bornholm this June 15. 2015 I will be back though as soon as possible, promise. ;-)

Thanks for the patience and the continuing support!

~Crystalbluefox

A big thanks to Mei-chan (Silvey115) for beta-reading this chapter.

Please enjoy! ~^o^~

Taste of bittersweet Disaster

-A One Piece fan fiction

By Crystalbluefox

Whispers in the night,

Telling me about my life and death,

Making me lonely and cold,

I need someone to hold me tight.

Where are you, when I need you the most?

Where are you, voice in the night,

Who could calm me

And pull me out of my nightmares?

10. Chapter

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Little child in the night…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Fuck, it hurts.

It hurts not being able to do the things that once were so easy to do, those things you never gave a second thought to, because you just could. It was nothing.

But it is something.

Something big, there's only to see when no longer possible to do.

Now, he can't even go take a piss without asking someone to help him up the stairs. He can't even stand on his feet, without being reminded how it feels to get your nerves burned, all over again, having an eight pounds gypsum on as well didn't make it any easier. He can't even sit straight for long, before he has to go lay down. He can't even go take a smoke to calm his nerves, without having his doctor yelling at him, reminding him of how bad his lungs actually are. Well, to hell with that, he just wants a smoke, even if it kills him.

He's bound to a chair to just sit there and watch as the others jumps around, having fun, work, fight, watch as they climb the railings to get the sails either up or down when a storm were approaching or subsiding. Whenever the good times came, he's tied to the chair, so he won't get hurt, the chair there is tied to something, so it won't topple over and hurt him even more. The worst thing is that he can't even cook for his crew, his main purpose on this ship, the one beside smoking there could distract his mind from shit-thoughts, he can do nothing now, nothing but being in the way of the others, nothing but to be a burden. He can't even have a nice soaking bath without having someone near him to steady him up so he could wash himself – that he in the least he could do. His hands are still functioning, the blow to his back or whatever shit had happened to it, had ruined something at the third or fourth vertebra, meaning; he can't walk, he barely can stand or sit straight without support. He's just happy that he in the least can control his pissing, if he couldn't even have done that, well… to fuck with it all.

And then there were the dreams. The nightmares there kept on haunting him even in the daily light, just as soon as his eyes were closed, those horrible pictures would show themselves, again and again, and again. Those fucked up memories.

Whispers in the night ran like ice along his spine, prickling in the back of his head as the whispers became even louder, but none understandable… whispers from his memories, whispers from his past. Sanji pulls closer the one leg there weren't broken, adjusting it so it laid right, ignoring the burning sensation in the lower back yelling at him to let go of the leg. But he ignores it, slings his arm around it, leans his head onto the knee as a second support as well and clasps his hands over his ears, as his heart's pace speeds up and his body starts to shake uncontrollably again. Whispers still being whispers but being louder for every second that went, and soon it evolves into small words.

Dead bones in the night,

Ripped flesh, bloody sight,

My teeth hungers for your sweet taste,

Wanting to rip and tear your body apart!

Dead bones in the night,

Dead man in the sight,

I will hunt you till the end of life,

Drinking the last droplets of blood from your neck,

Licking your sweaty temple,

Eating your juicy flesh,

I will hunt you, till you're dead!

Dead bones…

"Stop it…" Sanji mumbles, the words repeating itself in his head, his breathing becoming ragged, his hands starting to tremble more irrepressible.

…hungers for your sweet taste,

Wanting to rip and tear your body apart!

Dead bones in the night…

"Stop it!" he screams, wanting the voice to shut the fuck up, stop reminding him that rhyme that he always whispered to him, whenever he saw him, whenever he tested him, used him, tortured him, fucked him. Cold beads of sweat forms on his face, his heart thumping painfully against his ribcage. The dark night seems to become more menacing; the air he breathed, was heavy for his lungs to breathe, cutting like small knives inside his throat. He presses himself closer up against the wall, presses his hands harder against his ears, hoping to dear God, hoping in the name of Rodger that it will soon stop, that it will leave him alone… leave him alone… leave him alone!

…Licking your sweaty temple,

Eating your juicy flesh,

I will hunt you till you're dead!

Dead bones in the night…

"STOP IT, GOD DAMN IT!" he cries out loud, enough. Enough! He doesn't want to be reminded each and every fucking night about that! Leave him the hell alone already!

Dead bones in the night

Ripped flesh, bloody sight…

He screams, tries to drown the words, those horrible words, that chanting there always brought him to back then.

A hand on his shoulder makes him flinch, he stares at the crumbled sheets, not daring to look up, not daring to see if the nightmare once again became real, if the nightmare had found him to finally destroy him, he can already feel the claws dig into his tense shoulder, though the hand itself laid utterly still.

He feels a shifting on the bed and then arms wrapping around him, pulling him into their lithe body, smaller than his, skinnier than his bulged arms, no nails bites him, no arms squashes him, but hugs him closer in comfort, to reassure him that nothing bad will happen, that everything is alright. They are here to protect him, they will fight, that's what nakama does. That's what the voice says, chanting it for him to understand it, but the voice didn't know, that they also easily could be killed, and he doesn't want to be at fault for that.

Trust us, it said. Trust? What is trust? He can't even trust himself!

Even so, he's lulled, taken care of, like a shitty little kid, like the old man did when he had those horrible nightmares of the past, feared that they'd come after him and killed everyone else on their path to get him, to revenge on him for being stupid enough to be born.

Even though, those humming tones calms him, his ragged breathing subsides, the voice makes him feel composed, though not fully at ease.

There is no orange hair, but a tousled mob of black.

"It's okay," the voice whispers once again, pulling him even closer, as if afraid of that he would run, though he had no strong spine to keep him up – hah! That was almost a pity skull-joke, not even Brook would laugh at, and he most certainly didn't. "He won't get you, I won't allow that, we won't allow that." The voice promises, no, it swears. Though as soothing and warm it is, it wasn't that voice that he'd heard in so many nights speaking to him, through choking dreams, calming him down and make him relax – if only he knew whom it'd been, but he certainly knows now, that the voice doesn't belongs to this person, the young captain of their ship. "Sanji, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm right here,"

"L-Luffy…?"

The kid answer with a reassuringly hum.

Sanji takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to melt into that comforting hug. His hands have become steadier, his heart pace slowed down a little and the air he breathed doesn't hurt as much as before. Luffy keeps humming on that song, on what he only can guess are a lullaby as he lolls him back and forth, promising, ensuring, swearing.

He wants to cry of his pitiful person.

Sanji's shoulders sinks and he takes a long deep breath before he slowly moves his hands away from his ears and hears his captain's soothing voice clearer. Luffy pulls him closer, burying his nose into the crock of his neck. He hums so that the tone of his song carefully rumbles through his body and shakes the last bits of fear out of him. He wants to believe damn it! He don't want these constant nights, keeping his friends awake, make them feel horrible just because of him, it's enough what Chopper had told them, he heard it when they thought he'd been sleeping; if he kept being this angst and nervous, his heart one day wouldn't be able to follow its pace and just stop.

That's what he'd said, that's when Luffy made a promise, yet another promise but the same. "I'll kill him. I'll find that Hunter, kick his dirty ass and then I'll kill him! Then I'll bring back his body so you can see, Sanji! I'll bring back his corpse so you can see that he no longer can hurt you." That's what he'd said, or rather; that's what he swore. The ever aware captain knew he'd heard them.h

Luffy rubs his back "You'll never be alone again, Sanji." He says. Sanji leans his head onto his shoulder, sighing deeply as he shakes his head slowly and returns the hug, now leaving all of his weight for Luffy to support.

"Don't make promises like that, it's only bad luck." He tells him.

"But it's true! You're my nakama and I won't allow anything bad happen to you, ever again."

"We're pirates, stuff happens all the time." He argues half-heartedly.

"Doesn't matter, my meaning stands."

Sanji exhales an empty hollow laugh. "You're an incorrigible idiot rubber-head."

Luffy beams and holds him so close, that he even can feel his ribs starting to protest, but that's okay, he doesn't care, as long as they will stop worrying, he won't care.

-TOBD- TOBD- TOBD—

Zoro stands silently at the other side of the door, his hand still wrapped around the doorknob, clenching and unclenching it, as his inner discussion went about whether or not to open the door. He leans his head against the cool surface and listens to Luffy's humming song. He'd heard him. He'd heard Sanji's scream and had come as fast as he could, but Luffy had been faster, since he'd chosen for a long time ago to sleep in the infirmary, keeping watch over the cook. He looks up, looks in through the portrait hole, seeing them wrapping their arms around each other, seeing Luffy lolling him back and forth, as if he's calming a child instead of a fully-grown teen.

"He's mentally wounded, pretty badly," he remembers Chopper telling him the other day, after the cook had woken from his fever.

"Zoro? Please don't be mean to him as long as he's in this state, please?" Zoro had been looking confused at the little doctor, whohad been sitting right before him, back then,ensuring that he would eat anything of the food that the copycat had cooked for him. He was now a patient of Chopper as well, damn it. Zoro had laid the fork down and reserved a sceptical look from the reindeer.

"How long, will it take?" he had asked, his face just as neutral as it always were. Chopper had looked unsure and upset.

"I dunno, it's hard to tell, all depends on himself and such…"

And such?" he had asked. Chopper had nodded at that.

"Depends on how we are against him, I mean, towards him, how we treat him. Zoro," Chopper had looked pleadingly up at him "promise me that you won't be harsh towards Sanji. Couldn't you… couldn't you try to be a bit nicer towards him?"

Nicer… that was what Chopper had told him to be, but the only way he can be 'nice' to that cook wis to stay away from him. He isn't good at calming people down; he isn't good to be up close with people like Luffy is. He's a catastrophe in that and more than often just made things worse, therefore, he stayed away from him, though close if the cook should need aid and close enough so the cook didn't mistake his distance for something else.

Every time the blond looked aside; he couldn't stop watching him. He had become so… thin and completely out of character. He wasn't him anymore; he was someone that Zoro didn't dare to go near of, in fear to break him even more.

Sanji had become a silent person. He didn't show any happiness, no glee, not even any goofing reactions towards the women on the ship, he was smiling occasionally, but the smiles where forced and hurt even more than if he hadn't forced that expression upon himself. Robin had said that it was because of the traumatized experience he had been through, and that they just had to give him some more time. He knows that, all too well. But how much time does he need? How much time does he have to watch the cook like this? How much longer… should he be like his?

He releases the doorknob and turns on his heel, after ensuring that the cook is okay and safe. He walks to the railing to pick up his hand weights and groans as he can feel a little bump under his bare feet, where he had dropped the weights just a moment ago. He just had to hope that Franky wouldn't see it, else he would get a hell of lot of troubles with the shipwright… but then again, he also hoped that he would see it; he needs, hungers for a fight, to release his frustrations and anger. The cook isn't an option anymore, he isn't even allowed to piss him off, isn't allowed to pick fights with him, he mis it, more than he'd thought he would.

He mis being yelled at, misses the idiotic smile and behaviours towards the women on board. He mis his cooking, mis his stupid face scrunching up in annoyance whenever Zoro did something there didn't fall well with the cook, what was almost everything. He mis to be lectured by him, to annoy him. Hell, he mis the old Sanji, the prissy-cook-Sanji, the damn annoying Aho-cook, and he mis those rare nights where they actually could be friends, take a beer, sit outside on the deck or in the galley and talk about everything and nothing, laugh, tease and then end up in a fight again or watch the cook fall drunken asleep. Damn he mis all of that.

Hunter! That shitty bastard! What the hell had he done to the blond? He knows it takes a lot to break the feisty cook, actually hadn't thought it would be possible, but here he is, smouldering up little by little, like one of his cancer sticks laying abandoned in an ashtray.

He wants to gut him, wants to cut him to pieces, wants to make that freak suffer – he had, after all, promised Kitetsu his blood. The katana had been humming ever since the promise, waiting for the day to come, were he would kill Hunter and show his dead body to the whole world… and to Sanji.

He places his hand on his chest as he feels an unfamiliar flutter.

What was that?

Heaving a shuddering sigh, Zoro shakes his head, as if shaking a daze off his mind. He drops his weights, inches from his own feet, but doesn't care, just wants to drown this unfamiliar feeling that makes him feel so uncertain, wavering. He tramps away and up to the galley. He needs some booze, and he needs it now! Come hell, come Franky, he really itches for a fight right about now!

-TOBD- TOBD- TOBD—

Sanji blinks a couple of times as he stares at the dark ceiling. Black shadows flickering in time with the silent dance of the waves splashing quietly against the hull of the ship. He can hear the lull of the waves, no whispers, only the familiar callings from the seagulls, an indication that they were nearing an island. Getting himself lost in this peacefully moment, he slowly, but surely, soon fell asleep again.

When he wakes up again, the morning light is slowly creeping in through the portrait hole. Groaning, he moves slightly, feeling Luffy's warm chest up against his own cold sweaty torso, arms still wrapped around him, a small snore whispering in his ear like a small breeze. Surprisingly, they're easily brushed off and the captain rolls along and lands in a small heap at his side, against the wall, mumbling something incoherent.

Sanji takes a deep breath and pushes himself up on his arms. He stares down at his leg, still in a gypsum. That damn thing! He could curse it far over the Grand Line, and back again. But one week, just one more week and Chopper had told him that he could get the gypsum off, but then came the worst part where he had to train it up again, train the muscles up all over again and God he hated that part, though he at the same time longed to be able to walk, run and fight again. He mis his daily morning-training, stretching his limps to their fullest, bend his body until it said stop and then push it a bit further, a bit further every day, so he could become as flexible as possible, as strong as possible, ready to fight whenever a new enemy would show up. He always did it in the early mornings so he wouldn't be disturbed, he never trained in the offensive like that damn marimo-head there damn hell definitely were stronger than him right now. Damn shitty fever! Damn shitty leg! Fucking back, curse those feet!

Argh! Fuck it all!

He tries though, every morning he tries to see how much his leg or toes would response, though he quickly gets disappointed; each time he can't even get one of his toes to twitch, because of the damage done to his feet as well. He hadn't broken his back, just hurt it a fucking lot so his nerves system wasn't that well communicating with each other. He tries to lift his leg, there's a halted reaction, but it's response! It twinges painfully in his lower back, but gritting his teeth and forcing himself a bit more, he actually manage to move it. But the pain is way too soon too unbearable and he finally has to let the leg go back down. Sanji sighs and lays back onto the sickbed with a shuddering breath, fuck it hurts, but hell; it moved! It didn't last as long as he'd wanted, but; it moved! He knew he could stand on it for a few second, but moving it is a complete other league. As the pain subsided the best it could, he pulls the sheets back over his body and drapes some of it over the now snoring captain.

Sleep.

It sounds like a really good idea. It's still shit in the morning and the sun are barely snoozing above the dark horizon. He looks around at the fading shadows, then tries to close his eyes, though sleep doesn't come to him.

He groans in annoyance and instead ends up with staring at the snoring captain. He actually envies the kid a little, to be honest. Since he's still under Chopper's care, he isn't allowed to sleep in places other than in the infirmary; he's okay with that though. The small doctor stayed there every now and then, taking shifts with Luffy. Even though that they only want the best for Sanji, all Sanji wants, is to be alone. Just for now. Just for a while. It's embarrassing to have them see him like this, to see his break downs. He hates it. He hates himself and he hates that he needs Luffy to calm him down. Or that faceless voice in the nights. He doesn't complain though, he doesn't have the heart to do it either, to hurt their feelings more than what he already has done.

After an hour of thrashing back and forth - surprisingly not waking Luffy - and still not being able to fall asleep, he's had enough and sits up grumpily. He looks for the wheelchair that Franky had built for him, so that he can move more freely than just being glued to a fucking chair all the time, and moves towards the other end of the bed. As soon as there is enough space on the bed, Luffy shifts and sprawls out so he's filling every inch of it, just barely leaving enough space for Sanji.

Sanji reaches for the wheelchair, but it's too far away. Moving a bit closer to the edge of the bed he can finally grab it and carefully pulls it closer. If Chopper found out what he's doing, alone, he'd have his head, and heart, served on a plate. The reindeer could be quite scary at times, especially when it came to his crewmember's health. Crabbing his way closer inch by inch, constantly supporting his body with his arms, Sanji licks his lips, as he come to the tricky process: coming from the bed and into the seat, there's at least forty centimetres apart. If he slips, he'd get a painful landing and then all hell will break loose.

One hand onto the armrest, he looks down. Only forty centimetres, not even a half meter… barely. He places his healthy leg under the leg in gypsum and weighs it. A bit heavy, but not as heavy as it once had felt, and the twinge in the back? Well, fuck it. The good thing is that his strength is slowly returning, that gives him enough courage to make the next step. Ensuring the captain still are asleep, he lifts his leg, and in outstretched arms, he hurries to move from the bed and into the seat. He lands though a bit too hard, making him loose the grip of his foot, there bangs into the floor, a sharp pain shoots up through his leg and up through his back.

Fuck shit!

Fearing the sound has woken Luffy, he quickly looks up, only to find the captain still fast asleep. Lifting one foot at a time up into the footrests, getting himself more comfortable in the seat, Sanji tests the wheelchair, happy to find it soundless and careful rolls out into the kitchen, carefully closing the door behind him.

It's quiet, the lazy growing light from the wakening sun shines in through the portrait hole. The light smell of spices tingles his nose, together with something he only can define as roasted lamb; yesterday's dinner. The smells make his heart wrench, because it hadn't been him who had 'created' it and served it for the crew. No, it had been this new chef who had cooked it. A temporarily chef, they'd said, a chef he hasn't met yet. He can't help the dark thoughts invading him, thoughts that he for so long has tried to suppress. What if he never would be able to walk again? What if Chopper had overseen something and that the damage is worse than he first had established? He'd seen the others worried faces, he'd heard Chopper's mumble to himself every now and then, when he thought Sanji were asleep – they didn't seriously think he was that stupid? If they meant there. There was something they weren't telling him, though everyone tried to ignore the elephant in the room. The mere thought of what they can be hiding from him, makes him sick and even more depressed, and for a moment he feels unwelcome in his own kitchen. His kitchen! Or is it even his kitchen anymore?

"What kind of nonsense are you spouting, cook?" Sanji flinches and gives a small yelp of surprise. He turns fast in his seat to find someone standing in the shadows behind him. Had he really said that out loud? The person steps into the light of the growing sun, pearls of sweat glimpsing in green short hair and on the naked torso, giving the well-trained body a kind of a golden shade. His dark eyes looking him up and down.

"Z-Zoro?" Sanji says breathless, blinking a couple of times.

"Stop giving me those eyes, they don't suit you!"

"Excuse me?"

"Those haunted eyes don't suit the cook of the Straw Hats at all." Zoro steps closer after placing his bottle of booze onto the table, watching him with an unreadable expression as he steps closer towards him. Sanji widens his eyes, lips parting, his normal steady hands trembles, as they, to his surprise, rolls the wheels to back off a little. When had facing the marimo ever made him nervous? Why was it, when the first mate furrows his brows makes him worry, and his heart almost jump up into his throat, as hands shoots forth and stop him in his retreat. Sanji is afraid, no running away from it and no pond intended. The heck is wrong with him?

Zoro's eyes gets harder, his pose stiffer and threatening as he stares down at him, and it's only now Sanji realises how weak and defend less he actually is.

"What a pathetic sight!" the swordsman spits out, Sanji widens his eyes even more. That hit harder than what it should. "The hell is wrong with you? This isn't the shit-cook I learned to know," he says, stands straight so he looks down at him and moves a hand towards him, Sanji is surprised himelf when it gives a jerk in him "this is a weakling in a wheelchair, who thinks that he's nothing worth it, and he's not!"

Sanji's hands grasps tighter around the wheels, as he looks dark up at the other teen with gritted teeth. "Oi! Watch your mouth, moss-head! You don't know a shit about how-"

"-it feels to be helpless?" Zoro says, ending his sentence. Sanji blinks in surprise. "Don't know about how it feels like when things are slipping out of your hands? Don't know the feeling of helplessness and shame?" the swordsman leans down closer and grabs tight around the armrests, glaring at him as he speaks in a dark tone, sending shivers down along Sanji's spine, his reaction somehow angering the swordsman. "You say I don't know how it feels like to lose something?"

Sanji swallows hard and forces himself to move forth and knock his temple against the others, glaring into those black depths. He can't let his angst take over him again. Not again, not in front of him! "I'm saying that you don't know a shit about how it feels like to be alone, moss-head!" he spits back and swears that he sees something flash in those eyes for a moment. Zoro grits his teeth and pushes back, grinding their foreheads together, Sanji inhales sharp for a moment, why the fuck is he so scared of the fucking marimo-head? Why can't he shake this uncomfortable uncertainty off him?

"I know more than many how it feels to be alone, damn cook!" With the final word he pushes himself up, the movement almost sending the wheelchair back, as he goes to the kitchen to grab himself a fruit from the bowl on the counter, while Sanji tries to calm his razing heart. The first mate searches around in the drawers until he finds what he looks for and pulls it out. In the still dark room, Sanji can't really see what it is, but something deep inside of him knows it. Just the mere thought of it sends shivers through his body. "I'm more alone than anyone on this ship is," the swordsman admits, his voice calmer than before as he fumbles with a vegetable knife. Sanji's stare glues to the small sharp blade, as an inner voice chuckles at him.

"You wanna see what else you can use a knife for, cook?"

"Ho-how the hell can you be that?" Sanji roars up as he rolls the wheelchair up to the other, ignoring the prickling panic of the sight of the knife. The thing a chef fears a freaking knife infuriates him even more than Zoro's words. "How dare you say such a thing when you got Nami-san at your side every night and every day?"

Zoro hammers his hand hard onto the counter, spearing the knife deep into the wood. Sanji flinches slightly, not suspecting the man to manhandle anything in his, or rather, this kitchen. He can't help but stare at the sharp object impaling his, urgh, the counter.

"…let me show you what else a knife can be used to, other than for cooking."

"I am not together with that sea-witch!" Zoro says through gritted teeth, but Sanji doesn't really hear him. sweaty hands clamping around the wheels as he can't pull his eyes off the knife impaling the counter. His breathing becomes raspy, his whole body starts to shake even more, he can even feel himself paling, as his memories drags him back down that road again. "Oi, Shit-cook, look at me," he barely hears the other say, there soon drowns under the raising voices in his memories, and the living nightmare resurfaces.

The knife. He stood waving around with a what looked like a vegetable knife too, as he came closer with it, running it down his body, pointing it to there.

"No, no not there again," He'd begged, shaking his head violently as he tried to pull his shuddering body free from the ropes. He froze immediately as the knife pressed against his manhood.

"No, not only there," Hunter had said, chuckling "we're goanna have a lot more 'fun' with this little one, trust me!"

He can almost see himself in the reflection of the blade, as he inhales sharply… someone is mumbling something above him, but he can't recognise neither the voice nor the face, he only sees him. Hunter.

The man where suddenly in his face. Sanji pulled the handcuffs there tied him up to the roof, he tried to move his feet, pain surged through them, dripping with blood, wounds reopened to stop him from running again, for good measure they had bound his legs so they were just as immobile as his hands. Hunter grins in his face, the blade comes up and reflected his own pathetic frightened self. "No, leave me!" he spat as he fought like a wild to get free.

"You don't wanna play with me ~?" the monster said in an ever so slightly mocking singsong tone, toying with the knife in his hand.

"No, leave me, leave me ALONE, you sick fucker!"

"Oi! Sanji…"

Sanji choked as the knife stabbed into his abdomen, reopening his old wounds. His screams and cries echoing in the small moistened chamber, he couldn't stop himself, not anymore, and the breakdown seemed to humour Hunter, who turned the knife, that it created a hole. Tears running, he can't keep his screams back anylonger, as the knife was pulled out and impaled right into his shoulder, cutting slowly down without hurting any vital parts.

"Cook!"

Someone grabs him and Sanji lets out a fearful cry. His eyes flickers around the room but another rough shake in his body forces him to look straight into those dark eyes. "Sanji! Damn it! Stop it!"

"Stop there! Stop him!" the men called after him as he hurried down the streets. Every part, every limp protesting against his action and screamed for him to stop, his feet hurt, begged him to stop, to take a rest, to just give up, but he wouldn't. He didn't want to go back. He grabbed his bloodied arm, most of the skin had been peeled off, as if he'd been nothing but a living apple to peel. It stung sickly in the large open wound, as would it explode in pain any minute now. The screams and the calls came closer. He hurried around a corner and hid himself in the dark shadows. Panting he leaned up against the cool surface of the brick-wall, bumping his head back as he tried to catch his breath. The air though felt like breathing in sharp needles.

The men ran past him, not looking into the dark alley, not expecting him to hide in there. As the last man were gone, he slid relived down the wall, collapsing on the cold ground. He literally cried of happiness; fat tears ran down his cheeks; he was free! Finally, he was free!

A rumble in the darkness made him freeze. Oh God no! Not him! Please not him! The rumbling became louder, nearing him from his left. Sanji slowly turned, his body shaking uncontrollable. Then he saw them. Two yellow eyes lightning through the darkness, glaring hungrily and furiously into his almost pale blue. The beast stepped closer, slowly, sending shivers through his body for each step. A large red tongue licked hungrily around its mouth. Sanji tried to pull himself away from it. Then it fastened its pace as he did, one large push with its hind legs and it was over him. He let out a yell of horror, as the tiger tumbled him to the ground, bit him in the leg and pulled him away, back to that place, back to all that.

"Oi cook?!"

"God damn it! Come to yourself!"

"Come back, Sanjiii," Hunter chuckled, as he tried to pull himself away, down the dark corridor. Even the sound of his voice made the blood in his veins freeze. His ears were ringing, it took time before he realised it was caused by his own scream, as claws jammed into his leg again, sinking deep and tearing down, slowly. Then he was dragged back, back to that room, his nails breaking as they scraped against the rough surface of the wooden floor, leaving another trail of blood.

"Sanji!"

A firm voice sounds in his ear, as arms comes around him, and something suddenly presses hard against his mouth. Sanji blinks in confusion, suddenly torn out from one scene into another unrealistic one: Zoro, kissing him…?

What. The. Fuck?!

-TOBD-TOBD-TOBD-

For the first time Zoro will admit he were lost, of what to do. The cook had an externalising behaviour, almost impossible to get through. The swelling at his eye probably will be visible later the day, but he'd had worse. The cook didn't even know what he was doing, beside trying to defend himself from whatever his mind attacked him with. Since Luffy's hugs didn't help with anything but giving him blue marks, his body reacted to a last solution: attack a shock with another shock.

The cook is all silent now and it takes some time before realisation hit him with what kind of a new shock, he'd given the cook. Zoro looks horrified at him, and in an instant as the motoric parts of his body begins to function again, he immediately pulls away, for then instead to sling his arms around him. Sanji is clearly still not comprehending what the fuck just happened, and neither does Zoro. And he doesn't even know how to explain himself, because originally, he'd thought of a slap to the face, not a fucking smooch to the face!

He almost panicks, almost. He doesn't want to freak out. He'll blame it on his coordination, though something in him accuses it for being a blatant lie. Zoro waits for a reaction, but nothing happens.

The cook just sits there, staring at nothing at all, still as a statue. Did he kill him? No, no he's still breathing, he can feel it against his ear.

Zoro swallows and curses his rash brainless reaction. Chopper will have him castrated if he has made the blond's condition worse. He looks around, trying to find the right words to execute the uncomfortable and embarrassing silence hanging in the air. He takes a deep breath and pulls away.

"Look, shit, sorry! I didn't mean to -?" Sanji grabs hold of his arm as he pulls away, hand grabbing tighter as he tries to get his arm back, nails embedding, close to tearing through his skin. Then the ragged breathing began, wheezing in through slight parted lips, almost as if he can't get the oxygen out of the air he inhales. He's shaking again, clawing at his arm to stay, as if he's afraid to loose it for real, if Zoro leaves.

He's having another panic attack. Damn it!

"Cook, oi cook, swirl brow, you're stronger than this!" But Sanji isn't listening, he has that distant look again.

"Don't." he says, hand tightens, Zoro hisses. "Stay."

Sighing, he kneels before the blond and this time only lays a comforting hand on his, ignoring the fact his arm is bleeding. The touch only revealing how much weight the cook has lost, it is, as if the skin only were draped over his bones and thin but long muscles.

"You can do this." If he doesn't act fast, he'll have another seizure.

All because of a fucking knife and his stupid reaction of him giving the cook another shock.

What was it Chopper used to say to calm him, when no other talking helped?

"Sanji," he says calmly, a name he rarely used. He tries to go a tone deeper, calmer, like he used to speak to him, when it only was the two of them in the infirmary, when Sanji was having an attack or even a seizure. The seizures almost more horrible than the attacks, almost, both of them strained his heart too much. Chopper talked about that they had used some different kind of dangerous drugs on him to calm him down, and to even force him into different kind of attacks, even an insulin coma therapy, that was his guess since when Luffy found the cook, his blood sugar had been dramatically low. If Chopper hadn't checked it up as a normal routine, Sanji might not even ever had woken up from his insulin coma, but he wanted to be sure, depending on the length of the "treatment", he'd said people normally would gain weight, on Sanji though it apparently was the opposite. Yet he hadn't dared to ask the blond of all the stuff they'd put him through, worst case scenario it could provoke yet another attack. Zoro would never admit it out loud, but he all but knew how an Insulin coma therapy felt like, it was a nightmare, an utter nightmare.

Zoro is still angry at himself for letting the blond go that night, alone. But who'd the fuck though about that he'd be attacked with such dirty measures? Any other normal person would never had survived such a hell hole or at least ended up as a total wreck, yet the cook withstood it, alone, he wasn't a quitter, he was a fighter.

But for how much longer? Even he is just a mere human, just as himself. Even though he acted normal, he'd seen those haunted stares, and then there still these attacks.

"Whose voice do you hear?" he asks, remembering what Chopper had told him. Sanji doesn't react though, and Zoro has to kill the urge to shake him awake. "Whose voice do you hear, Sanji?"

The blond swallows, lips parts to let a tongue wet them. "He… his…" the blond says slowly. Not good, but at least he's answering.

"He's not here. Try to listen carefully," shall he say it? "Curl-brow!" is it even okay to call him names right now? "Whose voice?"

Sanji frowns and closes his eyes. Good, he's trying at least. "No," he says as an afterthought. "Not possible."

"Why not?"

"He'd never… act like, that."

Zoro groans. Dang it! "Try listen to my voice, Aho-cook, and forget what I just did!" he says. "Logic aside; who's voice does you hear? Say my name, Sanji. Name the one you mean that you can hear."

Sanji swallows and concentrates again. "Zoro."

"That's right, curl-brow, it's me, Zoro." He sighs in relief. Okay, now they're back on track. "I promise, that bastard will never be allowed near you again, ya hear me?" Sanji nods slowly, and flinches as Zoro stiffly tries to comfortingly run his hand in circles on his back. Slowly the pale hand relaxes, and the cook actually leans into his touch. Huh.

"You good, cook?" Zoro asks a bit careful.

Sanji breathes in a shuddering breath. "Getting there." He says "Just, keep talking."

"About what?" he asks, doing his best to keep the calm tone, though it was quite… weird talking like this to the blond. Not even hugs he'd ever do with him. Chopper, Luffy, even Usopp, the young ones on this ship, even a babbling Brook, who'd cried a river once he'd talked about his promise to that giant whale Laboon, though he still can't figure out how the heck a skeleton can cry, when they doesn't even have eyes. Even that kid Oliver.

"Anything, just… anything on your mind." Sanji presses. So Zoro rages his brain of anything to talk about, and then, he talks, about whatever comes to his mind.

Sanji relaxes and unconsciously drabs his arms around him and holds him, as Zoro tries to ignore the growing heat inside of him and keeps talking about what shit in the world to exist.

"You're like a hugging-bear." The cook suddenly murmurs tiredly.

"Where the heck did that one come from." Zoro asks, a bit offended.

"Truth." Is all he says and gives a half-hearted pitiful hug in return to point out his meaning. Zoro snorts.

"I am not a 'hugging-bear', idiot-cook," Zoro whistles annoyed.

"Too." He argues, tiredly, not long from falling asleep. Understandable, that shit takes it tools on every normal living person.

"M'not!" Zoro argues back, cracking a smile as Sanji halts for a second and chuckles.

"Hugging bear," he weakly gets his arms around Zoro's neck, and almost gags him.

"You, sadist! Can't breathe!" It's a blatant lie. Sanji snorts in amusement.

"Good, less noise to listen to."

"Idiot."

"My line."

"swirl-cook."

"Mari-mo."

Zoro sighs and lays a hand to his head. "Go to sleep, cook." Not two seconds later, the cook is fast asleep. He lets out a shivering breath as he sighs in relief. Good, thankfully he managed to fix up what he almost screwed up. He scoops the blond up in his arms, not liking how light he feels, and carries him back to the infirmary, careful not to fuck up the leg even more, or for that sake the fragile back. He has to talk to Chopper about this, though he knows the reindeer did all in his might to make sure the cook got all of the nutrients to gain some weight, but it's hard when the person doesn't feel hungry.

He doesn't think much of the missing occupancy of their captain, as he drapes the quilt over the blond and takes seat on the chair, next to the bed.

-TOBD- TOBD- TOBD—

Luffy chuckles as he looks through the portrait hole and watches his first mate fall asleep. He's glad to see Zoro open up like this towards Sanji. Zoro had always cared for their cook, he cares for all of them, but he rarely showed it, and Sanji needed to be showed how much they cared for him now, in particular Zoro it seems like.

Luffy yelps in pain as a row of sharp teeth suddenly bites into his hand, covering the reindeer's mouth, and releases him at once.

"Why'd you do that, Chopper?" Luffy whines, sucking on his 'wounded' fingers.

Chopper points at him. "Why did you hinder me in going in and help Sanji?" he fumes. Luffy blinks a couple of times before cracking up a smile, Chopper almost seems surprised at that.

"Nothing to worry about, Zoro took care of him!" Chopper blinks once again.

"Eh? Zoro did? Really?"

"Yup! Really-really!" He says proudly and nods at the door. "They're both sleeping in there now!"

"Can I see?" Chopper asks, and Luffy lifts him up to see.

Chopper giggles. "He did as I asked him."

"What did you ask of him?" Luffy helps him back on his hooves and are happy to see the wide smile on the reindeer.

"To be nicer to Sanji. I hope he'll keep up with it, even after Sanji has gotten better. It'd be a nice break from always patching them up aside from the fights with the marine or other pirates."

"Whelp, I don't think you have to worry about Zoro not acting nice, only about their fights." Luffy says, laughing.

To be continued