Julie woke slowly, stirring against R's side, her mind heavy with sleep.

Someone was whispering.

R?

She opened her eyes. The cold ambient light of dawn was filling the room from the window over the bed, illuminating everything around them in a soft hazy blue.

"...who..."

Shifting slightly, she turned her head to stare up at him, and her heart fell as she realized what was happening.

Not again.

Normally serene in sleep, R's face was twisted in a deep frown, and he shook his head slightly. Beneath his lids, his eyes moved as he tracked something in the dream. "...don' unerstan..."

R swallowed, and Julie heard fear in the sound, and felt the tremor of his heart under her fingertips. "...wha things?"

Oh no.

"R..." she whispered, squeezing his arm.

It had no effect, just like every other time this had happened. Apparently, something had to play out before he could wake. God, she hated this. Being unable to pull him from these moments was crushing her.

Perhaps it would be different this time?

"...what..."

Feeling his body tense suddenly against her, Julie realized she needed to get away from him now, that something bad was happening, something physical. Quickly she pulled back and scooted off the bed, just as R released a terrified yell and started thrashing at the air.

Tears welled in her eyes as she watched him from the side of the bed, unable to stop what was so clearly terrifying him. Hurting him.

With a horrible gasp, his body arched off the bed and his jaw stretched wide as he screamed. The sound was so agonized she rushed to his side, leaning over the bed as she tried to hold him.

"Rowan! Wake up! It's just a dream!"

Gasping, he spoke again, the words slurred in sleep, his face twisted in pain, "...can't... help... you keep... killin me"

Julie's hand rose to her mouth. Was he dying in these dreams? Something kept killing him? Jesus... he didn't deserve this!

"R, please... just WAKE UP!" She cried, grasping his shoulders and shaking him hard.

"...where are you..." he whispered, then jerked and cried out again. As he folded over slightly, he coughed.

Blood flecked against his lips.

Julie's heart went cold. What the hell? Why was he bleeding?

"Nonono..."

Frantic, she jumped up and grabbed her comm from her pants, laid over the far chair.

"...say... find me... wake up..." R wheezed behind her as she clicked the button.

"Dad!" she yelled, "Dad, I need you!"

R made a strange sound, and she turned to look.

"R?" she said, her voice trembling.

The man she loved was rigid on the bed, his hands stretched wide, a look of utter shock on his face.

Her father's voice filled the room from the comm, "Julie?! What's going on?"

"Rowan?" Julie whispered, walking back to the bed.

R's body slowly relaxed against the sheets, but... he was terribly still. Why was he so still?

"R!" she screamed, dropping the comm as she rushed to his side, feeling for a pulse at his neck.

She couldn't find one.

"Oh god!"

Her father's voice became frantic, "Julie?! Do you copy? Answer me!"

Frantic, she groped for the comm, and screamed into it, "Dad, HELP! It's R!"

With a sudden shuddering gasp, R jerked up in bed in front of her.

The motion so shocked Julie she fell back, dropping the comm to the floor again.

R doubled over on the bed, desperately clutching his chest, his eyes wide and panicked. "Oh... god..." he whispered, his voice hoarse, as he stared down at himself. Coughing again, he pressed against his mouth, and his fingers came away tinged with blood.

"Oww..." he moaned, and gripped his side.

"I'm coming Julie! Hold on!" roared her dad through the tiny speaker on the discarded comm.

Julie stared at R as she felt around for the device and brought it up to her face, her hands shaking slightly. She clicked the button. "Dad... I'm okay, everything is... okay... I'm sorry."

R turned to look at her, wincing as he brought his hand up to wipe the blood from his mouth. "Why are you on the floor?" he asked, his eyebrows arching in confusion.

"What?! What's going on?" her dad shouted.

"Why are you bleeding?" Julie asked in a fragile voice.

R frowned. "Think I bit my tongue." He brought his hand to his mouth again, "Oww..."

She clicked the button again, "Dad, sorry for the call, I'm fine, everything's fine."

"You don't sound fine," her father replied.

Julie lowered her head on her knees and sighed. "I'm okay. Sorry Dad, false alarm. I'll call you later."

There was a long period of static, then he answered, his voice breathy and strained. "Fine. Over and out."

"Julie?"

She looked up at him. Intense blue eyes stared out at her from under a shaggy mess of dark brown hair. Shadows lay under his eyes, from pain, from lack of sleep, she wasn't sure, but combined with the bright blood smeared around his mouth, he almost looked as he had when she'd first met him.

Like a corpse.

"What happened?" he asked, and his face fell, "Jesus, I didn't hurt you again did I?"

Everything hit her all at once, too many mornings of this, seeing him suffer horribly from the dreams, and the attack, not understanding any of it and being unable to help. Julie started to shake her head, but curled over her knees instead and began to cry.

"Julie... oh no..." he said softly, and she heard him hiss sharply as he shifted from the bed.

Warm arms engulfed her, and he pulled her close as she sobbed.

"What did I do?" he whispered, stroking the back of her head gently.

"You didn't hurt me R..." she sobbed the words out, "I just... I can't handle this anymore..."

Brushing his lips against her forehead, he nodded. "I know." Then he let out a heavy sigh. "I'm so sorry Julie."

"You don't have to be sorry R, it's not your fault..." She pulled from him slightly, wiping a quick hand down her face, and looked him in the eye. "I just... I need to know what's going on. I need to know why this is happening... please?"

For a while he didn't say anything, just gazed at her, his blue eyes distant and a little sad. Then he nodded and slowly stood, grunting in pain as he held his side.

"Come with me?" he said, and reached out his hand. She was struck with how serious he was. "I have to show you something."

Julie shook her head with a smirk. "You're not lifting me with your side like that R." Sighing, she rose to her feet.

Together they stood in the middle of his room. She could feel the heat emanating from his bare skin, and stared up at him as he looked down at her. His eyes were pained.

"Why are you so sad?" she asked.

With a small smile, he shrugged. As she started to roll her eyes he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. Then he pulled away to grab his clothes.

As she collected her own, pulling them on, she watched him. He was really struggling with his side, favoring it as he slowly pulled on his jeans, wincing as he drew the shirt over his head.

She didn't understand. How were they able to do what they did last night if he was still in pain? He hadn't acted hurt at all?

Jesus, what if they'd made it worse?

Turning, he must have caught her concerned look, because he tried to reassure her. "I'm fine, just a bit stiff."

"Riiight," she said, not believing him at all. "You should stay in bed."

"I don't want to be in bed anymore Julie, I'll just fall asleep." The expression on his face was haunted.

"And dream," she finished, understanding why.

He nodded. Grabbing a thick jacket from his cupboard, he shrugged into it with a grimace, and zipped it up. "You ready to go?"

Julie pulled on her own fleece, "Yeah, but where are we going?"

"My plane."

"Why?"

"Because," he answered with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh my god, it drives me nuts when you do that!"

He grinned, "I know." Then he chuckled, and sucked in a quick breath, grabbing his ribs. "Ow.."

"R..." she said softly, "Maybe you should take a painkiller?"

He shook his head, "No, I'll be alright. They just make me sleepy."

"O-kaay," she sighed, and grabbed the keys from the top of his drawers. "I'm driving, but we're going to the market for some food first, you need to eat."

"Sounds good to me," he said with another sad smile, and followed her out the door.