Welcome To Elrondville

Lodo looked up, blinking; he noticed he was in the most uncomfortable bed imaginable. He screamed… The most horrible and twisted face of a male Shelf was looming an inch away from his.

"I think he is still suffering, Blandalf," the Shelf said, wafting his bad breath straight into Lodo's face.

"Blandalf! You're here!" Lodo exclaimed.

"Yes, it was a dangerous thing, being kept on Corwank, but I…" Blandalf was going into his escape story when Lodo interrupted.

"Traitor! I nearly died!" Lodo sat up, bashing the ugly Shelf in the face and causing him to be knocked over backwards. Lodo started to foam at the mouth (this made him look like a rabies victim) and leapt on Blandalf, ripping at his beard.

"OUCH! Smellrond help me! I'm being attacked by a deluded Moppet!" Blandalf cried for help as Lodo clawed at his face and nearly gouged out his eyes.

"NO! He might try and eat me, and I am too much of an important loss!" Smellrond replied, backing away and scrabbling for the door handle behind his back.

"Fine I'll do it myself!" Blandalf set Lodo down on the floor and placed a foot on his chest to hold him down. Lodo was still, foaming, snarling and screaming insults. Blandalf did not realise, but Lodo still had his beard in his hands.

"Ah well," Blandalf sighed as he took his spare out of his pocket.

Smellrond was once again thrown to the floor as Gam pushed open the door forcefully, bouncing up and down on the threshold. Lodo returned to his normal state at once, and Blandalf let him get up.

"Mr Lodo, sir! You're alive! We were that worried about you, weren't we, Blandy old pal?"

"Don't call me that here," snapped Blandalf, turning slightly pink.

"But I thought you liked it, at least that's what you told me…"

"I never said that."

"Yeah you did when we were…"

"SO Lodo, on the road to recovery are you?" interrupted Blandalf loudly.

"Wait a minute, I wasn't finished…"

"Yes you have, Gam. Oh, going are you? See you later, then," said Blandalf as he pushed him out of the door and closed it behind him sharply, still using Smellrond as a doormat. "Such a shame Gam had to leave, at such short notice too."

Just then there was a small knock on the door. Blandalf opened it. "Yeeees?"

"Well as I was saying, you told me to OUCH!" Gam's face was shut in the door. He pulled it out and thumped on the door saying, "If that's all I mean to you it's over!" and poor old Gam wandered away, snivelling. Blandalf sighed deeply, shaking his head, only interrupted from his thoughts by a muffled groan that came from somewhere underneath him.

"Oh, sorry, Smellrond!" he gasped, getting off the Shelf, lifting him to his feet and brushing the mud off his once immaculate clothing.

"As I was going to tell both of you before Lodo created that tiny diversion," Smellrond began, taking out one of the braids in his hair and re-plaiting it, "Firstly, I would like to welcome Lodo to Elrondville Mental Home for Tragically Disturbed Beings. And secondly, we are to receive very important guests from all across the land and there is to be a secret council to which you are both invited. It will take place tomorrow next week… at dawn," he added dramatically, swinging his cloak over his shoulder. And turning on his heel, laughing deeply and evilly, he walked smack into the wall, before clearing his throat as if nothing had happened and walking out of the door.

A few days later, Lodo stood on the balcony, watching the guests Smellrond had told him of arrive. First there was a man from Rondor. As his horse slowed to a walk, the man took out a mirror and started brushing his windswept hair out of his face, muttering something about the split ends being hopeless. On his back, he carried a large round shield and what looked like a makeup bag, but Lodo was too far away to be certain. A sword hung from his belt. Next was a thickset Frawd, marching with about a dozen axes under one arm. He wore heavy looking armour and a helmet decorated in Frawdish. Then came a male Shelf. He dismounted lightly from his grey horse and looked around, glancing up at Lodo and nodding slightly to signify that he had seen him. On his back was a large quiver full of arrows and a fine yew bow, decorated with Shelvish designs. He also carried two razor sharp Shelvish knives as backup.

There was a cough from somewhere near Lodo's elbow and he looked down to find his uncle Limbo standing beside him.

"Uncle Limbo!" Lodo exclaimed. But then he frowned. "You've shrunk."

Limbo nodded. "Yes. It's that Wing. The Shelves cured the green, mouldy skin but they did warn me that there would be side effects. It's that Smellrond, you know… don't trust him with your life, he's a bit weird that one; he keeps doing a really creepy laugh and walking into walls."

"Why did you leave the Hire, Limbo?" asked Lodo, interrupting his uncle.

"Ah, my dear boy. I left the Hire because Blandalf told me about the Wing and where it has come from, and well after that I decided it was time for me to leave," explained Limbo. "You are curious for a Moppet you know, Lodo. Quite extraordinary."

Lodo smiled at his old uncle and bent down to hug him.

"Oh, by the way," said Lodo, remembering something Gam had said a few pages ago, "make sure you don't eat anything here because we think that they might get a secret supply of food from Tad Bladderswill."

"But I love the delicious meat pies."