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Why did I let them drag me here?

"Maka! If you don't get that frown off of your damn face, I swear to Death I'm goona burn this stupid book!"

Oh yeah, I remember now. I'm being held against my will and they took my newest book hostage.

"Patty! Calm down. Threatening her won't make her smile."

Says the girl whose idea this was.

"I'm not frowning because I'm not having fun, I'm frowning because this looks ridiculous on me."

Patty and Liz kicked down the door to my apartment an hour earlier and dragged me out saying we were going to have some fun whether I liked it or not.

It turns out that their idea of 'fun' is going to one of those skeevy make-shift Halloween costume stores that is set up in some abandoned building, and trying on a bunch of slutty 'costumes'.

They weren't really costumes though. They seemed to just be lingerie with various animal ears, or lingerie that looked like some sort of uniform, like a cop, or a maid. Then there's the lingerie that almost tricks you into thinking it's a real Halloween costume, like Sexy Batman, or Sexy Superman.

I really don't understand the point of these kind of costumes. I thought you were supposed to express your creativity on Halloween, not show the world your 'sexiness'.

And why the hell were these 'sexy costumes' so expensive? There is little to no fabric used to make them, yet it cost sixty dollars to be a Sexy Pirate. And that's without the accessories.

"I'm assuming that by ridiculous you really mean sexy as hell?"

I am pretty sure Liz is on crack.

Sexy as hell? I look like a stripper who has hit her head on the pole one to many times. I had been forced into a Sexy Sailor outfit. The skirt was so short that my underwear was visible and the top had a v-neck that was cut so low that it was only a few inches above my navel.

"No Liz, by ridiculous, I meant ridiculous."

In the time that I had been staring at myself disgustedly in the mirror, both Liz and Patti had put on new outfits.

Liz came out in a Sexy Policewoman getup, and her little sister was wearing a tiny black and white striped tube top with matching spandex booty shorts.

A cop and a robber, how cute.

"Why can't we just wear normal costumes? You two could be ketchup and mustard, or salt and pepper, or peanut butter and jelly, or Thing One and Thing Two."

"Cuz those are all boring! And how are you supposed to be a hot ketchup bottle?" Patty was looking at me like I was dumb.

She totally missed my point.

"Can we go now? I have to study." That wasn't totally true, but I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

Click.

I looked over at Liz, and to my horror, she had her cell phone pointed at me.

"Look, now there's proof that you have boobs, Maka!" She obviously thought she was doing me some sort of favor.

She really wasn't. The last thing I wanted was proof that I had degraded myself by wearing this wretched outfit.

"DELETE IT. NOW!"

"No way! Are you crazy Maka?!" Then her phone made a happy little beeping noise.

Oh no. For the love of Death, please tell me she didn't…

"Too late to delete it now. I already sent it to everyone." Liz said this in such a flat and uninterested tone, that it was obvious she had no idea that she had single-handedly ruined my life.

Why is Liz texting me? Haven't I told her a thousand times that you should never text God?! If you need to talk to your God, do it in person! Jeez, she should really start listening to-

"HOLY FUCKBALLS!"

"Black Star, what is- Oh dear, is that Maka?"

Hmm, what reason does Liz have for texting me? She's lucky I just deleted some messages, and her's brings the total number if texts in my inbox to eight.

WHAT IS MAKA WEARING? HER SAILOR'S CAP IS TILTED AT LEAST FOUR CENTIMETERS TO THE LEFT!

Maka, Liz and Patty have been gone a while, maybe I shoud-

Speak of the devil, Liz just texted me.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

MAKA IS WEARING THAT IN PUBLIC?!

*Starts choking on the massive amounts of blood spurting from his nose*

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