The first week of school past by slowly to my distaste. Twilight High wasn't as bad as I thought it wasn't going to be when I got my schedule. I was behind by a few credits due to all the school I missed at Destiny Island but Cloud enrolled me in an after school program. I thought I would have found myself annoyed by staying behind 2 extra hours but it worked out to my advantage.

Riku's parents had given up their resolve to keep the active teenager grounded his senior year. I chalked it up to the fact he was ass kissing by washing his father's car and going through all the storage boxes in their loft. The sea-green boy stayed after school on most occasions as well because of his interest in sports and social clubs. He was eager to join the school's rugby team one last year and hold down a spot on the swim team or the track and field out of playoff season.

Said male filled with more testosterone that Sora and I combined managed to drag me into a club meeting the only day of the school week that I had free time away from my credit recovery courses.

"Rox, please man you don't understand. Sor can't join this club with me, he's cute and all but he'll drive everyone to suicide or at least be a battery in our suicide." Harsh, I thought the brunet's never ending adorable face got him brownie points with Riku's friends. Word had spread around like wild fire that he was trying to get into the youngest Leonhart's pants. Well, I didn't word it like that the rumours did.

"What about-"

"This is a man's club, Kairi can't join."

"Awe, do you not want her cooties?" I chuckled at the face Ri made. If I would have known he batted for the same team I could have teased him about it sooner. Sora's friends really weren't as bad as I made them out to be. They all had their endearing moments. They reminded me a lot of what I had going for me before I fucked everything up with my old group.

The club that Riku had been so secretive about was Video Gaming Club. Of all things for him to be embarrassed about was hanging out with a bunch of geeky boys that had slipped under the radar to make a non-academic club. I highly doubt these guys weren't expanding their vast knowledge of the world by giving themselves carpal tunnel and becoming acquainted with orcs or Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Even though it was for video games; some were playing tabletop games, reading western comic books or Japanese manga and watching anime.

I smirked and reached up towards Riku's ear. "You're secret is safe with me that you enjoy hanging out with these dorks." The thought was actually sweet that he wanted me to take a break from my workload and chill with some gamers. Sora really knew how to pick them and I could see why Kairi liked him. I would have been jealous of the brunet if it wasn't for the fact he was still up on the table as single. Not that I would go out if my way and seduce them because I'm straight.

I really need to stop following up every gay thought with the fact I only liked women. I was comfortable enough in my skin to admit Riku was attractive and not have to convince myself it sounded homosexual of me. Ugh, maybe I should talk to Cloud about this but then he would give me a talk and misunderstand me! In the past I've gotten the safe sex with others boys due to a lack of communication. I was utterly horrified when one winter break Cloud came home during his second year of college because my dad thought I was rubbing one out with Hayner to give me a talk.

Riku walked me home every day since we both stayed after. Even though he lived 20 minutes away from my apartment he never made a big deal about it because most of the time he saw Sora in the complex's garden with Squall.

"Riku!" Sora skipped towards us with dirt covered hands. He was about to tackle his crush but was stopped by Squall.

"Sora, c'mon and help me carry these bags of sod this one has a hole in it." Riku sighed in relief when Sora skipped back over to the garden to help his brother. I could see Sora planting flowers but it was hard imagining the tall and muscular of the two brunets tending to an array of colourful plants.

That night I found myself eating caramelized apple slices and watching Game of Thrones. Kairi had made them for me as a thank you for helping her with her with a video for her YouTube channel. All I had to do was film and edit it. She did most of the hard stuff by being on camera to do a dance routine with her younger sister Shiki. They shared the same hair colour except Kairi's eyes were violet while Shiki's were brown.

There was a knock on our door. I figured Cloud would answer it. They knocked again. Ugh.

"Cloud get it!" I shouted from my bed. When they knocked a third time I pushed my laptop off my stomach and stomped towards the door. I looked through the peephole seeing Terra of all people. He lived way back in Destiny Islands! I opened the door and the dark brown haired male smiled and waved.

"Hey squirt, is Cloudy here?" He peeked inside the apartment.

"Obviously not if he didn't open the door."

"Oh...do ya know where he ran off too? "

"He is probably out with Squall." The probably were at an art museum or at a bowling lane.

"Is that his new boyfriend?"

"No! They went to college together with Zack. Cloud still loves your brother!" I got defensive. Cloud and Squall weren't like that. They were friends only! It would be weird...

"I just was in town doing a guest lecture at the college as a favour and I wanted to give y'all your invite to Aqua's and my wedding in person." He scratched the back of his head and handed me an envelope. They picked a date already. I noticed he had a slight blush to his cheeks. "Oh yah, you both can bring a plus one. A date or something it's okay if Cloudy's got a new lover. He needs someone to get over the past, Zack would want the best for him and be happy."

"Can I talk to you for a minute, come in and sit please?" I pulled out 2 water bottles and handed him one.

Terra gave me an unsure look but smiled at sat on the couch across from me.

"Is everything okay squirt?" I didn't know the blue eyed journalist that well but he was closest to Zack besides Cloud. He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Do you...do you wish it was me instead if Zack. Sometimes I think Cloud wishes it had been but don't tell him I told you that."

"Jeez, Aqua is always better at comforting people than me but...Roxas, they both love you. Zack was looking forward to being your brother-in-law. He adored you...honestly you were like a son to him. Cloud is your blood and his last bit of family. You gotta bond not even Zack could replace. I know he was my brother but I'm not trying to sound heartless...you can replace a boyfriend but not a brother. I think about the past all the time but I would never wish the same on anyone else." I listened to him carefully. He was a motivational speaker who often went to schools to talk about his past life. It was knowledge even I knew Zack's older brother used to be a drug addict.

Maybe I should confine in him about that to. I chewed on my lip and nodded. I felt bad because I didn't pay much attention to him even though he was trying to reassure me about what Cloud thought about me.

"I gotta go squirt and I promise I won't say a word to Cloud. You tell him when you're ready." I He threw away the empty bottle and I saw him to the door. I felt lost. I didn't want to tell anyone I knew about my problems. It should be someone who's opinion of me didn't matter.