Hey guys! I'm finally back with an update but I have a treat for you all it's two chapters in one night! Woooo! Haha, I know I'm awful with the updates so I decided to work on one story at the time so I can finish them quicker and so you don't have to wait so long for each chapter because it's not fair on you guys.
Another thing I want to say quickly is that I changed what I originally wanted with this story which unfortunately means it's this chapter, another chapter and then the epilogue. I just feel it's the best that I could with this story and I wanted to take it in this direction. I just hope you love it! (Please don't hate me!)
Just want to say a massive thank you to all of you, you are incredibly epic and I love you for taking the time out to read this story!
It was 8:00pm and I had already changed my outfit three times, changed my hair another four times and my make-up twice. My stomach was twisting and turning like I was a teenager about to go through with her first time and my hands couldn't keep still by my side. Truthfully, I was being ridiculous about the entire thing because wasn't as if Stefan hadn't seen me before or dated me before. It wasn't as though we hadn't kissed, hadn't had sex or hadn't talked about our feelings because we had done all those things.
Sighing, I gaze at myself in the mirror playing with the hem of my black and white peplum dress, the material went out my waist and the skirt was tight against my legs, highlighting my curves. I was wearing black pumps with only little heels not wanting to overdress. I decided to go with sophisticated but sexy look after an extremely long conversation with Elena on the phone who had managed to briefly calm me whilst I planned my outfit. After she had hung up the phone the nerves in me were like explosives and I had never felt like this before in my life, not even in 1864.
There was a soft knock at the door and I immediately froze on the spot. What was I supposed to do? How does a girl answer the door to what was considered a first date? I breathed in and out, doing one last look in the mirror and bringing my hair forward so it cascaded down my chest. I nodded a little in confirmation that my appearance was fine but what was I actually going to do when I saw Stefan?
"You can do this." I muttered to myself as I picked up my black trench coat from the coat rack and wrapped it around my waist.
I opened the door and seeing Stefan standing there in front of me with his dark shirt and black jeans with his biker boots just made everything inside me burn with desire. His eyes were shining and he had the most heart breaking yet dazzling smile on his face. The street lights were casting a glow on his face that just made him seem like an angel that had come down to save me. I smiled back at him when I noticed how his gaze had averted to my legs and then back up to my body in an almost discreet way.
"You look absolutely incredible." Stefan said smiling, holding out his arm for me.
"Thanks." I almost blushed, taking his arm and walking out of the house. "You look pretty good yourself."
"Just pretty good?" Stefan asked, raising his eyebrows as he opened the car door for me and I laughed at his puzzled expression. Everything about this moment just felt right, felt normal.
"You look hot and handsome, all in one." I smirked, crossing my legs as the leather of the seats brushed against them softly. "Is that better?"
"Much better." He grinned, slamming his car door shut and placing one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the edge of my seat, clearly testing the boundaries of tonight.
Smiling, I didn't do anything wanting to keep him on edge tonight just for the fun of it plus I just wanted a normal first date with him. I didn't want it to turn to every other night I had gone out with by sleeping with them at the first chance I got and thus making them fall further in love with me. I didn't want Stefan to just be any other guy. I wanted Stefan to be Stefan, the guy that I had spent over a century loving to the best that I could and the one I had always checked up on. I wanted Stefan to be the one because there was no other choice for me.
The trees and ever knowing houses of Mystic Falls were nothing but blurs as we drove past them with the radio humming in the background. It was like one of the movie scenes where the girl is staring through the window and smiling because she knows that the love of her life is sat right next to her and if everything did fade away around them, it would be okay because they would have each other. It's what I felt like right now with Stefan next to me because the only thing that mattered to me was him.
"You seem quiet." He smiled, glancing over at me with those gorgeous green eyes.
"Just excited about the date." I shrugged, looking over at him and smiling back at him.
"Okay, I was thinking on taking you to the Grill for a few drinks and then take you to dinner." He grinned, his eyes lighting up with that delight that he always seemed to have. "Then I was thinking I could, now this is a huge long shot because you know how much I hate it…I was thinking of taking you dancing, maybe."
"Maybe?" I asked him with a confused expression. "Probably not."
We both laughed and as usual everything inside me seemed to stop whenever we did something together like other couples. My heart roared with contentment in my chest and I smiled, leaning closer to him. It wasn't as though we didn't know each other already and would it really be wrong if I kissed him? Sure, it wouldn't be sticking to my plan of slowing things down between us but at this particular moment in time I just didn't seem to care about anything else other than kissing him. Stefan leaned towards me, his hand still on the steering wheel, and our lips met in a passionate kiss. My hands were in his hair and his hands were on my back and I could feel the car slowing down to a stop but I didn't care. I wanted him.
"Elena…" Stefan moaned against my lips.
Did he just say Elena? No, he wouldn't say her name. Why would he say her name? He was in love with me not her. It was me. He chose me. I pulled away from him as my heart shattered to pieces in my chest, everything inside me feeling numb. I swallowed in my throat as I sat back in the chair as far as I could be away from him in this confined space. I didn't want to be his version of Elena. I didn't want to be second best. I wanted him to love me.
"You said Elena." I said it as a matter of fact as though it wasn't that big of a deal. "You said her name, Stefan. Why?"
"Katherine, it's not what you think." His eyes were wide as though he had just been caught out. "Katherine…"
"Stop it." I told him, taking a deep breath. "Stop saying my name when we really know you want to say hers. You want to be with her but you can't can you? Because she doesn't love you, Stefan. She could never love you the way I do but that doesn't matter because I am not Elena. I am not the girl that you think I am. I am not her."
I closed my eyes and turned away from him, my fingers searching desperately for the door handle. I needed to get out of this car. I needed to get away from him. I had to leave. I needed to leave. I needed to leave this stupid forsaken town and forget everything in it. The door opened with a click and I swung it open, my legs stumbling out of the car. I just needed to get away from him. How could he do this to me? After everything I had done for him. After I had opened up to him.
"Katherine!" Stefan screamed but I continued walking down the road, ignoring the constant yells that came from his mouth. The dress I was wearing no longer clung to my skin in a way that made me feel beautiful or sexy it clung to me desperately and it made me feel dirty, unwanted and cheap. I swallowed, my heels clapping against the road as cars drove past me without another glance. My eyes remained distance and ahead because all I wanted to do was to get changed and leave this pathetic town behind.
"Katherine. It's not what you think." Stefan said, stopping in front of me. His hands in the air and his eyes filled with guilt.
"Not what I think?" I laughed through my tears. "So I didn't hear you say her name when I kissed you? Funny, because it sounded like you did. I don't understand but I don't want to hear another lie come out of your mouth because I can't take it anymore, Stefan. I get it. I will never be Elena for you and you will always be in love with her. You will find a girl who looks like her and love her because you can't move on from a girl that is clearly no longer in love with you."
I shook my head. How could be so pathetic over a girl that didn't care about him anymore. Why was he so wrapped up in Elena? Why was everyone wrapped up in precious Elena Gilbert? What was so special about her? What was it about her that made everyone fall to their knees to worship her? And, why couldn't people do that for me too?
"I gave up everything for you." I turned back to Stefan who was just staring at me with his eyes wide as though I had lost my mind. "I gave up everything. I stayed in this stupid little town that you call home to be close to you. I almost got caught by Klaus a million times because I came to check on you and see how you were living your life. I turned on my humanity, Stefan. I flipped the switch so I could feel again, so I could really feel but you completely ruined it. You ruined me. I did everything for you."
Stefan opened his mouth but I just shook my head, the blood in my body flowing with anger and betrayal. How could anyone do this to someone? I stared at his green eyes and I could feel everything inside me shake with hatred for the man that continuously broke my heart. There were so many thoughts pouring into my head all at once and his eyes are still on me. His mouth is shut. The pain was ripping through my heart, picking and pulling at the remaining pieces, and my skin felt like it was being torn and twisted. I wasn't going to feel like this anymore. I was going to feel anymore.
"Stefan, I promised you I would wait forever." I told him, my eyes turning slowly turning back into the cold lifeless brown eyes that they had always been known to be. "I will wait forever but I won't feel like this forever. I won't keep humanity on in hope that you might turn up one day when you probably won't. I am leaving this town behind. I am leaving you behind and most importantly, I am leaving my humanity behind. I am not feeling like this anymore. I am done."
As my last word was spoken, the pain was gone and as I glanced up at the man that I had loved I felt nothing. I felt nothing at all. A small grin fell on my face as Stefan's eyes stared at me as though I was complete monster, that I had been the one to betray him. I winked at him playfully before walking close to him, my hand on his chest as I stood up to whisper softly in his ear.
"I hope you didn't book a table." I chuckled, and with those words I was gone.
I pulled up outside the Salvatore Boarding House with my bags in the back of the car, the music was playing as loud as it would go. I slammed the car shut and got out of the car with the music still playing. I had one little last goodbye before I left this pathetic little town that behaved as though it was still in the past. I smiled as I walked up to old familiar door and gave a small knock, time for my best performance yet.
"Katherine?" Elena questioned as she opened the door.
"Hi, Elena." I gave a soft smile. "Mind if I come in?"
"Sure." She opened the door. "I thought you were out with Stefan?"
I walked down the corridor before I answered her. My eyes fixed on the old vase that lived in the centre of the mahogany table. I couldn't give anything away. I had to pretend that I still cared, that somehow I enjoyed the friendship that quickly blossomed between Elena and I. I faked a sob before turning around with my head in my hands.
"We had a fight." I choked. "So I left. We didn't even get to our date."
I dropped my hands to my side and right on cue, Elena walked towards me with her arms open before stopping as she realised that it was me. She gave me a reassuring smile that sickened me to my stomach, her brown eyes shimmering with probable fake concern. I sighed, shaking my head softly as though I was distraught at the idea of Stefan and I fighting.
"What did you fight about?" She asked. "I'm sure, you can figure it out."
The distraught expression left my face as I walked up to Elena slowly, my eyes never leaving hers. All this had been her fault and it was time for her to pay. It was time I got rid of her once and for all. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion as she took a step back from me. She was terrified of me. I could hear her heart racing her chest as her blood coursed through her body. I placed a hand on my hip and tilted my head.
"We fought about you, sweet Elena." I told her as I grasped my hand around her neck and pushed her up against the wall so she was unable to move from my hold. I curled my fingers tighter around her throat applying just the right amount of pressure. "You see, in Stefan's eyes no one is ever going to be you but he did tell me he loved me so you can picture my confusion when we were kissing and he said your name."
"Katherine." Elena managed to choke out so I squeezed tighter, the burning need inside me forcing me, wanting me to kill her. It was nothing to me. I felt like nothing. Her pulse was thumping against her skin like an annoying pulsating drum. She was the reason I had turned everything on for nothing. She was the reason that my humanity was a mess and why I was acting like I had just taken something. She had done this.
"Katherine, let her go." Damon's voice was stern and firm behind me just like it always was whenever sweet Elena's life was in danger. A small chuckle escaped my lips at thought. She really did have the Salvatore brothers spiralling. It was always going to be Elena.
"Do you honestly think you can stop me?" I asked him, my eyes never leaving Elena's. "She doesn't love you, Damon. When it comes to Elena, it will always be Stefan and vice versa. It's almost as though some pathetic witch planned it all. Damon, you and I, are just the barriers that they eventually get over to be together. Stefan and Elena."
Elena's olive skin, identical to my own, was turning a ghostly pale now, her eyes rolling as she slowly lost the fight to keep breathing. Her heart had drummed to a soft and slow beat. Precious Elena was finally succumbing to me. Elena Gilbert was finally losing to me. I grinned at the sight, tilting my head a little to get better look at the sight I had longed for.
"Katherine, let her go." He whispered from the open door. I didn't turn to face him. I couldn't allow myself to do what I wanted to do. I wanted to see his face as he watched me destroy his love, the love that he chose me to replace. I remained frozen, staring aimlessly at the girl in front of me. She had helped me yet here I was with my hand around her neck. I closed my eyes, fight it, Katherine. She did this. She will always be first choice.
"You don't want to hurt her, Katherine. Even with no emotion you don't want to hurt her. You would have done it already."
I heard Damon moving, he was as fast as light when it came to protecting the woman he loved but I remained staring at Elena. I didn't move just stared. I felt hands on my neck. His name leaving my lips as the darkness crushed me, forcing me to the ground.
Okay if you thought Katherine's emotions were a little muddled here they are supposed to be. I think that because she hasn't turned her humanity on for so long that when she does feel it sort of controlling and overwhelming. She's feeling so much at one time like a new vampire would. I don't know why but that's how I imagined the process to be.
I hoped you liked this chapter! The next one will be posted in a few minutes! Please review, it means a lot!
twitter: iansgrande / xolaurenjade
instagram: xolaurenjade
tumblr: aprincesstothepublic
Love you all so much, thanks for reading!
-Lauren xXx