It was the middle of the night, and the castle was still very tranquil. There was a calm, serene sensation in the air, the kind only apparent on the night after a series of arguments, heartbreak, and moments of pure tension and guilt. But tonight, there were no fights, and there were no tears. The palace itself seemed to relax its figurative muscles, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Callan was out like a light, completely tuckered out from her day of running up and down stairs, and all throughout town, tending to Anna. She conked out easily, still in her day clothes, but still fell into a deep slumber, not at all worried about it.
Elsa had a little bit of trouble falling asleep at first. She had been thinking about all the events of the day. She had actually given some hard thought into her conversation with Kristoff, including why exactly she reacted so drastically. His disclosure of his feelings had honestly kind of shocked her, but when anger replaced shock and she lost control of her powers, how she really felt in return had become the last thing on her mind.
She tried her hardest to think it over, but her thoughts kept trailing back to her little sister. She rethought their shouting match earlier that day, and then remembered what Callan had told her about Anna being on the upswing. She analyzed every detail about how Anna had acted towards her today, and she was almost starting to believe what Callan said. But as much as she needed to keep sorting through her thoughts, sleep finally took over.
With a stomach more than full of food, Anna quickly fell asleep. After she had poured herself a couple glasses of water from the pitcher that Callan had brought her, she rolled over lethargically, dozed off in no time, and was sleeping soundly. But all of a sudden, she jerked awake, and sat up with start.
"Oh my," she said to her empty room, grabbing her stomach. "Oh man, that really hurts." She poured herself another glass of water, and took a sip. She sighed, and rolled back into bed, trying to ignore the twisting pain and cramps rippling through her stomach.
Okay, so this is what I get for eating so much today. Especially all of those chocolates. Ugh, why did I do that? I guess I'm an emotional eater, huh?
She was thinking to herself, trying to take her mind off of her stomach ache, hoping that in some manner it would help.
Wow, my stomach really hurts. I can't even remember the last time it's hurt this bad. No wait, yes I do. It was on my thirteenth birthday, I think. Yes, that's right, I remember now. I ate one too many pieces of my triple chocolate cake. I still can't believe Mother even let Hilde make something that deliciously terrible. Anna smiled at the memory, then winced in pain. Oh goodness. Ah, ouch. Ouch! … Okay, it subsided for now. I think I can sleep it off. So if I can just fall asleep, I think I'll be fi-
"Ah!" she grunted, sitting up again. "This is really bad," she said through gritted teeth. She gripped her stomach, and started taking some deep breaths. "Not cool, stomach. Not cool," she said as another wave of pain came. At this point her fingernails were digging into her abdomen, which wasn't helping.
"What should I do?" she wondered out loud. What did I do to get over it on my birthday? That was so long ago…
Oh, that's right. Mother rubbed my back. We stayed up all night and talked, and sang songs, and told stories, and she rubbed my back. For some reason that always helped. I guess because it was so relaxing. But… we can't exactly do that anymore.
A single tear made it's way down her cheek, although she wasn't sure whether it was from the most recent influx of soreness, or from the mournful recollection of such a happy memory with her mother.
"Ouch! Ah, ow," she griped, now beginning to shake. "Ugh, what do I do?" I shouldn't wake Callan. I've bothered her so much already today. Well, yesterday, I suppose. I guess there's Elsa… but we're still fighting. Aren't we? So maybe I shouldn't-
"Gah! Oh gosh. It's getting worse," she winced. Should I go get Elsa? No, I can't. It'd be too awkward. Things are still weird between us. But my stomach hurts so bad! I obviously don't know how to deal with this myself. But I can't go running to her when I'm supposed to be mad at her. Another painful swell. "Ah! Ow, ow, okay! Okay, I'll go get Elsa! Goodness!" She stood up slowly, careful not to put any unnecessary pressure on her belly. Wait, did I just talk to my stomach? She shook her head, dismissing the thought.
She staggered out of her room, still trembling, and hunched over with her arms draped protectively over her stomach. Her stance reminded her of the one she held when her heart almost froze. When she was dragging herself across the frozen fjord, trying to make her way to Kristoff. She sighed heavily at the memory. Then she thought a little deeper on what happened that day. When it came down to it, she chose Elsa over Kristoff. She chose Elsa over herself.
By the time she was done replaying the scenario in her head, she was at Elsa's door. The ice spears from her earlier incident had melted long ago, but there were still holes in the door. Telltale signs that Elsa had lost control. The thought made Anna shudder. She brought one of her hands up to knock on the door, then changed her mind, opening the door herself and walking in, whether she was welcome to or not. She muddled across the room and stood by Elsa's bed, taking a brief moment to look at her older sister, who was sleeping so peacefully.
"Psst, Elsa," she finally whispered. No answer. "Psst. Elsa." Elsa squirmed a little, but didn't wake up. "Elsa," she said a little louder, this time reaching down and gently shaking her.
Elsa's eyes shot open. She gasped, and snapped to an upright position, causing a small burst of snow to fall. She looked around frantically once the snow stopped. "Anna!" She swung her legs off the side of her bed. "What are you doing up at this hour?" she yawned, stretching rather gracefully.
"My stomach hurts," Anna answered. She was hoping that Elsa would somehow know what to do. Anna never really imagined Elsa having a bad stomach ache, or their Mother tending to her the way she did with Anna. She stood there, almost nervous, waiting for Elsa to say something.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Elsa said after a few seconds, slightly confused by Anna's vague statement.
"It hurts… really badly. And I was wondering if-"
Elsa stood up. "Like Mother used to do? Of course." She smiled sleepily, and motioned for Anna to lead the way back to her room.
Anna sat down on the edge of her bed, hands placed politely in her lap, and her head hung slightly. Her semi-violent shivering had dissolved into few and far between shudders. Elsa crawled onto the bed from the other side and knelt down behind Anna. Conveniently, Anna was wearing a button down night shirt and a long skirt instead of a nightgown. Anna lifted up the back of her shirt, balancing the scrunched fabric on her shoulders, and didn't say a word, not exactly knowing what to say to her sister anyway.
Elsa's icy hands felt like heaven on Anna's warm, feverish back. She might have been so nauseous that she was slightly delirious, but she could've sworn she heard them sizzle.
"You're not going to melt or anything, are you?" she asked groggily.
"No, of course not," Elsa giggled. She paused for a few moments. "So does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" she asked cautiously.
Anna thought for what felt to Elsa like an eternity. "No, I'm still mad," she answered hesitantly. "I'm just too close to death to show it." She leaned farther forward and put her hands over her face, trying to add a small amount of humor to her statement. Elsa didn't say anything. "Elsa, listen…" she said, sitting back up.
"No, Anna, it's fine. I understand. It was silly of me to even ask."
"It wasn't silly, Elsa. And actually, well, it's uh, it's just… about Kristoff. I-" She stopped. "Ah!" She lurched forward, wincing in pain and starting to convulse again.
"Anna!" Elsa said, sitting up on her knees a little higher and placing her hands on Anna's shoulders.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," she said, still hunched over. "Ow. Ooh…"
"You're not going to throw up, are you?"
"No, no, I'm fine. It's gone now, it comes and goes," Anna explained. Her shaking subsided.
"Anna, maybe I should send for the doctor."
"No, don't. It's the middle of the night, he wouldn't come. Besides, it's just a stomach ache. I just ate too much today, that's all."
Elsa didn't say anything for a few seconds. She relaxed back into how she had been sitting. "Well what'd you do that for?"
"I don't know. Probably because I was upset."
"Oh," Elsa said, dejected. "Look Anna, I'm sorry. I really-" Elsa saw the faint outline of Anna raising her arm, motioning for her give it a rest.
"Don't worry about it," she said. Elsa sighed and continued trying to make her sister feel better. She moved her hands in circles on Anna's back in a comforting rhythm. The two girls were quiet for a long time. "I heard it all happen, Elsa," Anna finally said.
"What?"
Anna sighed. "Your episode earlier. I heard it all happen."
"Oh," Elsa said, slightly embarrassed.
"Yeah." Anna paused. "Elsa, I'm sorry. I really should have-"
"It's not your fault, Anna," Elsa said, getting a little nervous, causing her to break the rhythm.
"I really should have been there," Anna blurted.
Elsa was surprised, and took a second to answer. "Wait, what?"
"I should have been there for you. I should have made sure you were okay. But instead, here I was, wallowing in self-pity and pretending to be mad at you."
"Anna… wait, pretending?"
"I don't know exactly what was going on, well I kind of do because Callan told me. But anyway, I know you must have been going through a lot more, seeing as how it was happening to you, but I can't even describe how horrible it sounded. I was so worried. I can't believe I didn't swallow my stupid, good for nothing pride and just go be there for you."
"Anna, it's okay."
"No, it's not! It is not okay that you were hurting, and losing control of your powers, and I was in here listening to all of it happen, when in actuality I wanted nothing more than to go make sure my big sister was okay!"
Elsa was silent. After a few seconds, she resumed her circular rhythm on Anna's back, hoping that it would bring the girl some level of assurance and comfort.
"I should have been there for you, Elsa, no matter what. And I wanted to be, I just don't know why I wasn't. I'm so sorry," Anna sniffled.
Elsa could feel Anna's back rising and falling more inconsistently, now trying to balance her breathing and the small sobs that were escaping. "Anna, no, don't cry."
"I'm so sorry, Elsa," Anna repeated, now in a full-fledged bawl.
"Don't be. You don't have to be," Elsa said, trying to calm her little sister down.
"You don't get it, Elsa!"
"I don't get it? What do I not get, Anna? Explain it to me."
"I can't! I can barely explain it to myself! I just…" She paused. "I don't like fighting with you. I don't like being mad at you. I love you, and I just want my sister back. I feel as if I missed the chance to tell you when I didn't go check on you earlier. I just want this all to be over," she continued. She brought her hands up to her face.
Elsa sighed, and stopped rubbing Anna's back for a moment. "I want this all to be over too, Anna. You don't know how much it hurts to have someone you care about so much not want a single thing to do with you."
"That's the thing!" Anna said. "I didn't know how much you were hurting. I was so focused on how much I was hurting, and how angry I was at you and Kristoff, that I didn't think for a second how you were feeling. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry."
"Anna don't be sorry. Your actions were justifiable. Like you said, you were hurting, and you were angry at me. It's okay to be angry at me for what I did. Heck, I'm angry at myself for what I did. So you see? It's okay. I understand."
Anna sniveled. "Just because you understand, doesn't mean it was the right thing to do," she said, much calmer. "Besides, I'm not really mad at you anymore. I forgive you."
Elsa was taken aback, not expecting that at all. "What?"
"I forgive you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Anna chuckled. "Why would you say that? Don't you want me to forgive you?"
"Of course I do, Anna. But only because I deserve it. I don't want you to say you forgive me in the spur of some moment, or because you're sick and delirious, only to take it back later when you're in your right mind."
"And just what do you mean by that? I'm not delirious, and I'm totally in my right mind! It's a stomach ache Elsa, not head trauma. I know what I'm saying." Anna said, almost a certain level of cheerful now.
"Well, okay. I mean, if you say so," Elsa said, resuming her makeshift massage. "But if I may ask, why?"
Anna thought for a moment. "I just don't think it was really you I was ever mad at."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, once I really thought about it, at the end of the day, I've been more angry with Kristoff. I never expected anything like this from him. Hans, sure. But Kristoff? The same Kristoff who tried his hardest to come running to my rescue and save the day? I never saw it coming. And it hit me twice as hard. And now, I'm double mad at him for whatever it is that he did to set you off like that. It's bad enough he hurt me, but when Callan told me that he hurt you too…"
"He didn't exactly hurt me, Anna."
Anna was quiet, waiting for Elsa to elaborate. But it took Elsa a long while to gather up the courage to.
"He told me he loves me." Elsa felt Anna's back muscles twinge, leading her to figure out how shocked she was by the statement, although the tone of her voice betrayed it.
"Oh." Another long pause. "And… what did you say?"
"Well," Elsa began. "The way he talked, he was telling me to choose between you and him. He said things like, 'I can't play these games anymore.' and 'You keep going back and forth between Anna and I.' He told me that he loves me, then he told me to think about whether or not I might love him too. Then he told me to let him know when I made my decision."
"And what did you say?" Anna repeated, trying her best to hide not only her irritation with Kristoff, but also her uneasiness over how Elsa answered him.
"I chose you."
Anna's breath hitched, and she felt her heart drop ever so slightly at her sister's words. She remembered what she had thought of on her way to Elsa's room. That when it came down to it, Anna chose Elsa. And now, Elsa chose her. "Elsa…" she said.
Elsa didn't reply, she just kept rhythmically moving her hands in circles on Anna's back.
"Well… how is it that you feel?" Anna asked after some time.
"About what?
"Kristoff."
Anna's question caught her off guard. But she answered the best she could. "Angry," she said. "That's why my whole incident earlier even happened. I'm angry with him. He threw that choice at me, knowing how much I already had on my plate. It made me so mad, and so confused, and I just lost it. That's all."
"Uh, okay, but I meant how is it that you feel as in, do you love him back?" Anna asked.
"That doesn't matter."
"But do you?"
"It doesn't matter, Anna," Elsa said. She lowered the temperature of her hands, causing a thin layer of frost to form on Anna's back, then immediately melt.
"Hey! That's cold!" Anna said, snapping to an upright sitting position and scrunching her shoulders up to her neck. "And of course it matters. Why would you think it wouldn't?"
"Because, like I said, I chose you. How I feel about Kristoff is irrelevant."
"No it's not," Anna said. "Elsa, if you love him too, it's… it's okay," she continued relatively hesitantly.
Elsa tensed up and stopped what she was doing. She even held her breath for a couple of seconds. "What? No. No, it's not. I can't love him, it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair to you."
"You do love him, don't you?" Anna asked. Elsa sighed. "Look," Anna went on. "It's alright, Elsa. Don't worry about me. If you love him, you love him. That's how it is, and it's okay."
"Yes, Anna, I love him. There, I said it," Elsa confirmed after a few tense seconds. "But I love you too. And I'd rather lose him than you by a long shot. He was just my significant other. But you're my little sister, my only family, and my best friend," said Elsa. "He told me to choose, and I did."
"Well why do you think he told you to choose?" Anna asked.
"I don't know. Probably because he thought I'd choose him, and that would somehow solve all of out problems."
"Maybe he told you to choose because he thought it would be best for you."
"Why on Earth would he think that?"
Anna thought for a moment. "Who knows. He's a boy, and boys think silly things sometimes."
Elsa laughed. "Yeah, they do." She thought for a second. "But you do have a point. Maybe he thought if I could just focus on one of you, things would be easier for me."
"See? He was just looking out for you."
"Anna, why are you defending him?" Elsa asked with a laugh. "After all, you did just say how angry you are with him. You have every right to be. You don't have to talk him up for my sake."
Anna shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, you're right, I'm angry with him. He really hurt me, and I don't want anything to do with him anymore. But that doesn't mean that he's not a good guy."
"Um, it kind of does," Elsa commented.
"Whatever," Anna continued without missing a beat. "What I mean is, just because things didn't work out between him and I, doesn't mean they won't for you two. He's a nice guy, a good catch, as much as I hate to admit it. You deserve him."
"I deserve him? What's what supposed to mean?"
"You deserve love, Elsa. You deserve to find love and to be happy after all you've been through."
"And you think you don't?"
"This isn't about me." said Anna. She sighed, and slouched a little. "What I've been trying to say is, if you love him, and you want to be with him, it's okay with me. I care about you far more than I care about him, and if being with him would make you happy, I won't be selfish. I won't be mad anymore. Not with you, anyway."
"Well thank you for saying that Anna, but it just doesn't seem right to me. Something would feel wrong if I ended up making up with you and staying with Kristoff."
Anna yawned. "Nothing would be wrong, Elsa. I'm telling you, it's okay."
Elsa paused, still unsure. But she decided to give the matter a rest for the night. "How are you feeling? How's your stomach?"
"Better," Anna said. "Still a little uneasy, but not nearly as crampy and twisty."
"Twisty?" Elsa giggled. "Well I'm glad you're feeling better."
Anna smiled at the sound of her sister's soft laughter, then chuckled herself. "Yes, twisty. It's the only way I could think to describe it." She took a deep breath, and realized how heavy her eyes were getting. "Elsa?" she yawned.
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
Elsa smiled. "Of course." She was still rubbing Anna's back, for whatever reason. It seemed to not only relax Anna, but herself, too. "I should be thanking you, for sitting down and talking about all of this with me. I'm so glad we're not fighting anymore."
"Me too," Anna said. She yawned again, and this time, Elsa yawned in return. Anna picked up her water glass. "Water?" she offered.
"Ew, no, I don't want your sick person water," Elsa said with fake disgust.
"Sick person water?" Anna said, trying to sound angry. But she couldn't help but laugh. "I'll show you sick person water." She turned around and blew a raspberry in her sister's face.
"Hey!" Elsa shouted, leaning back as far as she could, ultimately falling on her back. She was laughing as she wiped her face off the best she could. Anna, who was still laughing too, crawled onto the bed and plopped down beside her sister. After a couple minutes, the laughter died down and the girls relaxed.
They remained there in silence, and after some time, they both eventually curled up and fell asleep.
Once again everything was still, and quiet, and it stayed like that for what was left of the night.