Much thanks to Piratecat with her help in some parts of this chapter, and much thanks to those who have left such sweet and glowing reviews!
The Pearl had docked for the night and was lightly bobbing on the waves that rocked the ship as gently as Gibbs rocked the very upset Jade O'Malley, whose tears were still trickling down her face, but she was no longer sobbing. This relieved Gibbs, for he had been worried when her sobs became so hysterical that it sounded as if they were about to make her sick. He'd even carried her over to the rail in case she did.
"Here ye go, mate," Jack's voice was soft as he handed Gibbs an extra blanket and set three mugs on a crate. Snuggled up against the barrel-chest of Mr. Gibbs, Jade watched as Captain Jack poured the contents of one bottle into two of the mugs, corked it and then poured the contents of the other bottle into the third before stopping it up with the cork and handing the mug to her.
"Have a li'l sip, love, it'll warm ye up an' calm ye down." Jade quietly took the mug from his hands and cupped her small ones around it. The first sip was sweet, but there was a bit of a tang to it she was unfamiliar with that made her shiver and cough a little. Mr. Gibbs' hand patted her on the back, making her gasp in pain as tears returned to her eyes.
"Sorry, Miss Jade, I didn't mean t' hurt ye." Joshamee looked up to Jack, a little taken aback for a moment by the dark look in his captain's eyes and hoped it wasn't due to his actions. This reminded him, he hadn't seen her back, and while Ana must have seen them when she bathed the girl, she hadn't mentioned any scars to them, and now she was high up in the crow's nest and so unavailable to question her.
"Swee'eart, that nightmare ye had t'night," Jack leaned in and spoke softly to the lass who wouldn't meet his eyes but he could tell she was listening. "The nightmare, wot happened? Was it something wot happened to ye on the Handmaiden?"
A slight nod was his only answer for a minute, and then a pitiful, helpless whimper, "P-please don't make me t-talk about it! I-I don't-don't want-please don't make me remember!" This time, when Gibbs went to comfort her, he took care not to touch her back, but he wanted to know what was done to it so he could see if it needed attention.
"Miss Jade, we can understand ye not wanting to relive the dream, and ye don't have to unless ye decide to, but could ye humor the Captain an' I by tellin' us how they hurt your back, or with what?"
Wincing at just the thought of what happened in her dream, she gave them another pleading look, hoping they'd relent and let her try to push it to the back of her mind until it disappeared and she forgot it ever happened.
"W-why? Why do you need to know?" Jade's hands were shaking violently, making the contents of the cup dangerously close to spilling... knowing how much that would upset the child, knowing how upset she was and how it might conjure up old visions of a tongue lashing for clumsiness, Jack gingerly removed the cup from Jade's hands and set it upon the table.
As Gibbs took her hands in his to still them, Jack leaned forward and tilted his head to meet the child's deep blue, haunted eyes.
"We need t' know about this, darling, because if ye 'ave any sort o' open wound on yer pretty li'l backside, Mr. Gibbs 'ere will want to treat it so ye don't get an infection and get sick...a shipboard infection is serious, an' we don't want tha', do we?" Jack's voice was comforting, soft... he was stating a fact as straightforwardly as he could, but with a gentle finality.
Jade turned her face into Gibbs' shirt and was silent for a few moments, not wanting to meet Captain Jack's eyes. Finally digging into her small reserve of courage with these two men that she was surprisingly trusting of, she mumbled, "My backside's not pretty, Captain Jack. Tis ugly, because they hit me."
"Wif wot, love?" Jack's voice did not lose it's comforting, husky quality, but something in it had changed...Jade felt her throat constrict with such sudden, violent ferocity that her voice came in a high pitched, strangled squeak that sounded like one talking around a sob.
"Their belts."
Gibbs wrapped his arms around the child tightly, as he watched his younger captain's face remain immobile, but Jack's dark, expressive eyes became a glittering combination of utter sadness and barely controlled black rage, for he knew, all to well, exactly what swift and taut leather across one's back felt like.
"Here, Miss Jade, lean forward and we'll have a look." Gibbs helped her to sit up and gently urged her to lean over his arm slightly. Jade braced herself, not for pain so much as humiliation and shame. She jumped a little when she felt a hand, Mr. Gibbs' on her lower back as he took hold of the hem of her shirt to bare her back.
As Gibbs carefully lifted the child's shirt, the captain's eyes narrowed and grew as hard as flint. He felt, only for a fleeting moment, ghostly and unpleasant tingling feelings of what might have been pain shoot across his own thin shoulders at one time..."no! please don't beat me! NO!"... Just as quickly he shoved those dark thoughts into his mind's brig and locked the door.
Gibbs bit back the "Mary mother of God" that was on the tip of his tongue. Not so much because of the welts, as he'd seen worse damage done with the cat o' nines, but for the way that the bones of Jade's spine could be easily counted, and her shoulder blades stuck out like chicken wings. He'd never seen a child that so perfectly seemed to fit the description of "Skin and bones". It gave him new resolve to make sure the lass would be fed properly.
"Are you finished? I'm cold." She whispered, and both men knew that, though this was likely true, she all too likely wanted then to stop looking at her back. Having mercy on her, Gibbs let the shirt fall and wrapped her in the blankets again. The welts had been red and irritated and needed to be treated with the woundwort salve he had in his kit. It was something Jack had him pick up in port at one point. It was an old remedy for cuts, burns and scrapes that he remembered from long ago, but had left it at that.
Lifting Jade off his lap, Gibbs stood and sat her down where he'd been, wrapping her more snugly in the soft blankets. She refused to look at either of them and dipped her chin until it touched her chest, her dark hair falling forward to curtain her face. Gibbs was about to say something when a shake of Jack's head stopped him.
"Let her be," he mouthed, and Gibbs respectfully nodded and hurried off to get the medical kit. It was already past midnight and Jade needed sleep. Preferably of the non-interrupted sort. Once he got her wounds treated and bandaged, they could put her back in her kip and get some rest themselves, hopefully, though something told him Jack wouldn't be going to bed right away.
As Jade sat on the crate, hugging her knees to her chest and unable to bring herself to look at Captain Jack or talk to him, she noticed something.
He wasn't doing much talking, either, and that relieved her. She had been so afraid that he'd want to talk about it, demand to know what she did to deserve such pain…but he wasn't. Somehow, he understood that she needed this silence to think and Jade was grateful for that.
"Here," was the only thing he said as he handed her cup back to her and together they sat in silence, drinking from their own cups. Jade wrinkled her nose. She really didn't like this drink so much, and found herself looking at the bottle in Captain Jack's hand. "Wot?" Jade jumped and looked away guiltily when she realized he caught her watching him drink from the bottle.
"I just…is that…is rum…is it good?" Jack smiled softly at her and took her cup from the crate where it sat next to her, pouring a small amount into it for a taste and setting it down beside her.
"Judge for yerself, love." Jade picked up the cup and sniffed. It didn't smell too badly, at least. Lifting the cup to her lips, she took a small sip, her eyes widening with the way it burned a bit going down, but the taste wasn't bad at all. It was sweet and spicy, and it warmed her up a little. Draining the rest of the cup, she set it down beside her on the crate and drew the blankets around her. Not just for warmth, but for security, as Mr. Gibbs had been holding her and she was far too shy to ask Captain Jack to do so. He hadn't touched her very much so something told her he wouldn't want to hold her, and she didn't want to be told so.
So they sat in silence again, Jack's dark eyes going from the dark night to her, and Jade staring at her toes, too lost in thought to notice the feeling of being watched.
They had saved her life, and then the next night woke her up from a very bad dream, not with fists or belts, but with gentle hands, cold wet cloths on her forehead, and soothing words that let her know it was only a dream, and now they were sitting up with her until she was ready to go back to sleep. And Mr. Gibbs was going to treat whatever wounds were on her backside. Though she was afraid of the pain that could bring, she knew that this and everything else they'd done for her so far meant something.
They actually cared about her. They cared about her? Jade shyly looked up to Captain Jack and found him looking straight back at her. Both of them quickly looked away and Jade felt like she was blushing from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair. No, she couldn't ask him why they cared about her. He told her earlier that day that he'd just say "Because" when she asked questions like that, so she knew he wouldn't give her any more of an answer than that. Jack looked out the corner of his eyes at her, wondering what the lass was thinking, when Gibbs showed up, smiling.
He'd been watching both of them and had to suppress a laugh at the way they'd looked at each other like two bashful teens courting each other. Not that he'd say anything about it, but he did find it amusing to watch. Hanging from one hand was an extra lantern, as he knew he'd need the extra light to work, and in the other was his small medical kit with the salve he would put on her back and strips of bandages.
Jade looked up at him, and her dark eyes widened with worry while her chest moved faster with her breaths. It pained Gibbs to know that what he was about to do would hurt her, especially when he'd have to clean the wounds. Even though it would help her in the long run, he hoped it wouldn't ruin the trust she had in him.
"And how are we going to be doing this, Mr. Gibbs?" He'd given thought to this as he was collecting supplies and preparing the salve, and had run several options in his head before deciding on a final one. The first one was quickly nixed, as it would have involved Jack holding the child in his lap. Knowing his captain's issues with touch, Joshamee had wondered why that had occurred to him at all. The next one was for him to hold Jade and for Jack to hold up the shirt so he could apply the salve. That would require the least amount of touching from Jack. It was his third choice that he decided was the most practical.
"Well first let's put these two crates together, end to end. Miss Jade, do ye feel strong enough t' stand on yer own?" Jade honestly wasn't sure, but she nodded and shed the blankets before slowly standing up, noticing that they both had a cautionary hand at her elbow just in case she fell. When her knees wobbled, Mr. Gibbs picked her up and placed her on top of another crate. It hadn't gone unnoticed by either man that anytime she was picked up, Jade would at first flinch, and her body would stiffen for a moment before she'd relax, as though reminding herself that they promised not to hurt her.
As she watched, both men moved the crates that they'd been sitting on before and spread out the blankets as if making a bed. Sure that the crates must be very heavy, Jade was impressed by how strong they both were, and it gave her a bit of a warm, safe feeling knowing that the ones protecting her were both big and strong men. Well, Mr. Gibbs was bigger around than Captain Jack, but that didn't mean he was any stronger than his captain; of that she was sure.
"Now we need Miss Jade!" Mr. Gibbs came over to her and scooped her up again to carry her back to the makeshift bed. "We'll need ye to lie down on your belly, lass." Jade started to obey, but Captain Jack held up his hands.
"Wait just a minute, I'll be right back." They both watched him disappear into his cabin and then Jade turned her attention to the things Mr. Gibbs was setting up.
"A-are you going to put that on my back?" He nodded.
"Aye, but first we're going to clean the marks with this!" He held up a bowl of something he was mashing up.
"It smells a bit like bananas." He grinned and nodded.
"Very similar, Miss Jade. They're called plantains, and can be cooked, but tonight we're using them for this." She watched him mash them in silence before she slowly brought her eyes up to meet his.
"Will it hurt?" Deciding that honesty would be best, he sighed.
"It might sting a bit, lass, but you're a brave girl, aren't you?" Jade shook her head.
"No." she said quietly, her eyes dropping to her hands in her lap.
"I fink yer braver than ye give yerself credit for, pet." Captain Jack's soft, husky voice behind her made her jump, thus proving to herself that she was, as the men of the Devil's Handmaiden called her, a scaredy-cat and soon she'd prove herself a crybaby, too. He set a pillow down on one end of the crate and patted it. "Put that pretty li'l head down like this, savvy?" He demonstrated by folding his arms and resting a bearded chin on top of his hands that were laid one flat on top of the other. If she hadn't been so tired, scared and anxious about the treatment of her back, she might have smiled at the picture he made posing like that.
"Let's get that shirt up before you lie down, as it will be harder to do so once ye are, Miss Jade." She hugged herself to keep him from being able to expose her skin to the cold air…and their eyes. "Miss Jade…" He very gently admonished when she prevented him from lifting the shirt up. "The sooner ye let me tend to your back, the sooner it will be over with." Jade pouted, for she had no argument to this, but still…
"I'm going to be cold!" She was surprised to find herself whining a little and clapped her hand over her mouth, mentally scolding herself for whining when they were trying to help her.
"Here, drink more o' this, lass." Captain Jack poured more of the amber liquid into her cup and handed it to her. There was more than the last time. "Will warm ye up and numb the pain a bit!" She obediently took the cup and tried to drain it like she had the first but Mr. Gibbs gently stopped her.
"Take it easy, Miss Jade," he said as he smiled gently at her. "A growin' lass, especially one who's not had much to eat today, shouldn't get ambitious with the spirits." Though he was warning her, it was also a warning for Jack, whom he was sure didn't know that even a relatively small quantity was not good for a child, and would feel bad if he found out that he'd even accidentally made this little one sick by giving her too much rum.
"Spirits?" Jade asked as Gibbs gently lifted her shirt up in the back and helped her to lay down in the way Jack instructed her to. "What are spirits? Like ghosts?" Captain Jack sat cross-legged on another blanket laid out on the deck in front of her so he was more or less eye level with her.
"Aye, it does mean that, but in the context wot Mr. Gibbs was usin', spirits is another word for rum an' other drinks like it. Now, lass, tell me wot's yer favorite color?" Jade thought about this, her chin resting on her wrist as Mr. Gibbs covered her legs with a blanket to help her stay a little warmer.
"Is it alright if I have two? I can't decide." Captain Jack grinned.
"Aye, two favorite colors are allowed." Keeping his gaze neutral, Jack took the opportunity while she was thinking to glance at her back and saw that Gibbs was getting ready to spread the mix of plantains on Jade's back.
"My favorite colors are red and blue." She declared, and he went back to his task of distracting her.
"Red an' blue, aye?" She nodded and watched as he held up his left hand with the palm facing her, ringed fingers wiggling slightly. Holding eye contact with her, he closed that hand in a fist and brought up the right one. Using his long first finger and thumb, He reached into the side of his fist and pulled out three long lengths of leather cord, two were blue, and one was red.
"Wow!" Jade breathed, finding herself smiling at yet another great show of magic! "What are you going to do with those?" Captain Jack just smiled at her as he tied the strings together with a knot in one end of their lengths and held the knotted end towards her.
"Would ye be so kind, love, as to 'old that end, there?" Jade nodded and took the knotted end between her fingers, feeling the soft leather between her fingers, and squeezed them a bit when Mr. Gibbs gently spread something on one of the sores on her back. Biting back a cry of pain, she clamped her lips to keep it from getting out and shut her eyes tight to keep tears from escaping.
"Sorry, lass," Mr. Gibbs apologized softly, for despite her efforts to be brave and not make any noise, both he and Jack heard the soft, muffled squeak of pain. Swallowing hard, Jade whispered so quietly that he almost didn't hear her.
"I'm alright." Looking down at her scarred back, Gibbs sighed. Cleaning them had been easy and fairly painless for the child, thanks to Jack distracting her from what was being done. But now he was treating them with the woundwort, and that had been only the first one. She still had nine more for him to treat, some that were more inflamed than others. It would take a lot to distract her from the pain of his treating them. It had to be done, though, so he kept going.
Meanwhile, Jack was braiding the three lengths of leather cord and with another sleight of hand, he produced the shell he'd found behind her ear earlier that day. "That's my shell!" Jade exclaimed. "I thought I lost it! You had it?" Captain Jack smiled as he strung the shell onto the red leather string, and she realized he'd made a hole in it for that purpose.
"Ye left it in me cabin, love, but now ye won't lose it, because it'll be hangin' around yer pretty li'l neck!" Jade, the strangling fresh in her mind, still, lifted both hands to her neck, worried. Captain Jack's dark eyes softened as he tied the strings together at the other end. "It won't be tight around your neck, Jade," he assured her softly. "Th' shell will rest about 'ere on you." One of his long, tapered fingers tapped his own chest about an inch below the space between his collarbones.
"So I'll be able to breathe?" Shifting to his knees and reaching up to gather her long, dark curly hair and pull it to the side so that it tumbled over her right shoulder, Jack nodded and tied the necklace around her small neck with a neat square knot.
He also took a look at her backside and winced in sympathy, sadly wishing that he could have had someone to tend to his wounds gently and distract him with a bit of magic and a gift when almost the same thing happened to him as a lad. He had been forced to suffer the pain and indignity alone, his wounds allowed to become infected because no one cared about him, not even his own father.
Jack blinked at this thought and sat down, quietly watching Jade as she cupped the shell in her hand to admire how it hung from her neck on the braided leather cords in her favorite colors, unaware of how he was studying her and thinking. The way she turned her head about to study something so common as a small conch shell with such fascination and wonder reminded him of just how truly innocent and naïve she was to the world outside the house she shared with her cold and cruel mother, and he smiled at the thought of making her smile, and those big, pretty blue eyes widen with awe with the wonders he'd show her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jade's voice cut into his thoughts and he grinned.
"Just finkin' of how pretty ye are, lass." She blushed again, her cheeks darkening as she ducked her chin bashfully. "Do ye like the necklace?"
"I do! Thank you, Captain Jack. It's so pretty!" Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment in pain. "May I please have a little more rum? This still hurts." Jack lifted his hand to reach past her head, noticing how she slightly shied away in a natural reflex from all the times she'd been hit, and wondered if she would develop a fear of touch like he had that left him unable to bear being touched, save for by a sadly small number of people he trusted. His dark eyes were sad at the thought of his own fear of touch and pain being perpetuated in this small, emotionally fragile child who didn't deserve her treatment anymore than he had.
Jack quietly handed Jade her cup and let her have a few sips before he gently took it away and sat it down beside him on the deck boards so he wouldn't have to reach past her again. "Feel better, love?" She nodded and he could see her eyelids were growing heavy, probably from her sleep being interrupted by that nightmare, and from her small body adjusting to the effects of the rum.
Folding her arms over the pillow, Jade laid her head down and looked up at him. "Capn' Jack?"
"Wot is it, love?" He was smiling softly at how she'd begun to slur her words a little. Her eyes slid shut for a second before forcing them open again. "Will you…will you tell me a story?" She yawned. "About one of your adventures?" Jack pondered this, as he wasn't even sure if any of his adventures were fit for young ears to hear. Well, she didn't say the story had to be true, savvy?
"Well, there's always th' one about sea turtles an' rumrunner's island, right, Mr. Gibbs?" Though Jade couldn't see him she heard him chuckle and giggled softly herself. "Alright, lass, ten years ago I was marooned on an island by me former first mate, th' mutinous Hector Barbossa, who left me there t' die."
"But you didn't, or you'd not be here now, right?" Jack grinned but gave her a gentle warning look.
"Aye, yer right, but don't interrupt if ye want t' hear the rest, aye?" She clamped her lips shut and nodded. "I know yer wondering 'ow I got off th' island, right?" Jade nodded and grinned when he did, the lantern light making his gold teeth shine in their light and his dark eyes sparkled as his slender hands waved about with his words.
"After three days an' three nights, I got tired o' sitting around an' doin' nothin' but starve and argue wif the palm trees," Jade giggled, "An' waded int' the shallows t' see if I could fish for me food, when a sea turtle came up t' me."
Jade's eyes were large in her head now as she imagined such a creature coming up to him and him not being afraid. She would have run the other way, she was sure of it. "Tha's when I got th' idea t' use the sea turtle t' escape th' island but I couldn't ride just one, so I 'ad to wait for 'im to get a friend an' I tied e'm together an' made a raft, an' sailed off t' Tortuga on th' backs o' the sea turtles." When she made no reply, Gibbs frowned slightly, wondering if she was just holding back a whimper of pain.
"How is she, Capn'?" Jack smiled at the sweetly slumbering face and then up to his first mate and quartermaster's.
"Out like a light, mate." Pinching her sleeve between his thumb and forefinger, Jack lifted it up a bit and let it drop. "An from the looks o' it, restin' peacefully wifout any dreams." Gently lifting Jade into his arms, Gibbs sat her in his lap so that she straddled his knees and leaned forward to rest her cheek against his shoulder.
"I'll need ye to hold Miss Jade's shirt up so I can wrap the bandages around her." Standing up, Jack set the blanket and bottle and cup of rum on the crate before holding Jade's shirt up so that Gibbs could carefully wound the strip of fabric around her small, bony torso.
"She needs t' eat more," Jack remarked as he noticed, disturbed, that he could practically count every one of her ribs through her skin. "I'll tell th' cook t' make 'er a big breakfast t'morrow an' make sure she eats it." Gibbs shook his head.
"Won't do no good, Jack. Ana told me Miss Jade got sick this mornin' after eatin' just a few bites of porridge, but held down the broth Ana gave 'er. Gibbs' own eyes looked at the ribs he was covering with the strip of cloth and winced, just as disturbed by Jade's boniness as Jack was, then looked up at his captain, mentally smiling to think that even if they did put enough weight on her frame to fill it out, she'd always be a thin girl judging from the man standing in front of him.
That reminded him of something he'd seen in Jack's eyes when he came up from the hold with his medical kit and seen how well Jack seemed to understand Jade's pain. Looking up into his Captain's eyes, now, he saw a veiled look of sadness as those dark eyes regarded the bandaged backside of this sweet lass who had turned out to be his daughter.
Jack noticed Gibbs' look and said cryptically, "All I will tell you is tha' it was not my father who did it to me... it was others... I guess they didn't like th' way I looked..." Both men fell silent as they both thought that this was the same reason Jade had been so wrongfully abused. The bigots aboard the Devil's Handmaiden just didn't like how she looked.
Tying off the bandage, he nodded to Jack who pulled the shirt down instead of dropping it, lightly brushing his fingers down her sides to straighten it out so no wrinkles would bother her wounded backside. In sleep, Jade wiggled against Gibbs, causing him to look down at her face, worried she was in pain. Instead he saw a small grin on her face before she relaxed again and the grin turned into a small smile that stayed on her pretty little face.
"Wot is it? She alrigh'?" Chuckling, Gibbs nodded.
"Aye, she's smiling. Seems young Miss Jade is ticklish." Looking up, he saw a mischievous glint in his captain's eyes as he stored this information away for future use. "Let's get her off to her kip so that we may get to ours." Jack nodded as he watched his first mate and quarter master stand up, and how he was holding Jade in his arms.
One arm supportin' the bottom, one supportin' her back, an' her head on your shoulder. You can do that, mate…eventually.
Gibbs noticed that Jack was observing how he was holding Jade so he could learn how to do the same, but out of respect for his captain, he said nothing about it and just carried Jade to her cot in the galley as Jack followed behind with the lanterns, pillow and blankets, wondering how long it would take him before he could carry his child as easily as Gibbs was without triggering his fear of touch.
"There we go, lass," Gibbs whispered to the sleeping child as he stooped to gently place her on the cot and positioned her so she'd sleep on her belly so as to not irritate the wounds. She moved about in her sleep to find a comfortable way to arrange her limbs in this position, ending up with her left arm tucked under the pillow and her right hand lightly curled under her chin. She wiggled a bit more when three of the woolen blankets were tucked around her, getting as comfy as possible before she drifted back into the sound slumber she'd been in before they moved her.
"Go t' bed, mate," Jack ordered Gibbs, smiling as he looked sideways at his yawning first mate. "I'll stay up wif 'er a while. You need yer rest, I'm chartin' a new course t'morrow, an' I may need yer input in some o' the markets on the islands, savvy?"
"Aye, Ca-" Gibbs was interrupted by a wide yawn. "Capn'. Good night." With that, Gibbs left the galley with one of the lanterns. Jack drew up a chair but did not sit in it. Instead he set the lantern on it and lowered himself to the floor next to the cot, leaning back against the wall with his knees drawn up and his forearms resting on them, the rum bottle dangling in his fingers as he observed Jade's sleeping face.
Taking a pull from the bottle, Jack played with the cork, turning it in his fingers as he watched her sleep. How did he find himself in such a situation with a child aboard his ship? 'Twas no place for a tiny, abused child, aye, but what choice did she have? What choice did HE have, he mused. He couldn't just let her die such an ugly death at the hands of those who nearly strangled and beat her to death.
Then he found out, not even a full twenty-four hours later, that this tiny, abused little girl was his own daughter, the product of a union he'd truly wanted no part of because of the nature of the girl who had insisted on him deflowering her. Shannon O'Malley had been a spoiled brat used to having her way, and apparently was used to lying to get it. She'd gotten her way when he begrudgingly took her up to bed for one of the most awkward one-night stands he'd ever experienced, only because she swore she was incapable of carrying a child.
The proof of her deception was sleeping right in front of him, and it made his blood boil to think of how much Shannon's lies had hurt both of them, yet Jade carried the emotional scars of her mother's cruel words.
Jack couldn't help but feel guilty that his child had not been conceived in love but rather a cold union with a girl who had no cares for anyone but herself and had lied to him and her child, telling the child he wouldn't want her when the truth was he would have…if he'd known she existed up till now.
No more, he decided, would she be hurt either physically or emotionally scarred by bigots who cared not if a small, dark skinned child had feelings that could be hurt by harsh words and brutal hands or belts.
Watching how her small fingers moved slightly in her sleep, he smiled and corked the bottle of rum, placing it on the floor next to him as he sat up and leaned forward. Hesitantly reaching a hand up to the edge of the bed, he slowly moved it forwards and ever so lightly stroked the back of that small hand with the backs of his fingers. In an unconscious response, she inhaled deeper and he felt the small hand just barely press back against his fingers, like a cat leaning into a petting to encourage more.
Jack smiled with relief and let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding for fear that she'd wake up and scream or would either roll away or push him away. Turning his hand around, Jack lightly stroked the backs of her fingers with the tips of his own. Tilting his head a bit, he noticed as he did this that she had his hands. Slender, artists hands with long, thin tapered fingers that were delicate and elegant looking. As he began to study the rest of her features that had clued Ana into their close relationship, Jack turned his hand about and stroked the fingers with the back of his again.
Suddenly Jack was taken aback as that hand that he was stroking that was so much like his, moved and captured it, her hand resting across his, palm to palm as her thumb and forefinger circled his thumb as the other fingers curled around the side of his hand and gently squeezed. Jack's dark mustache twitched as he nervously looked around in the darkness, not sure how to react to this. "Oh."
But then he noticed something. A barely imperceptible smile on his daughter's lips, and Jack found himself lifting the fingers of his left hand to his own lips. She had his mouth, nose and cheekbones. And then there was her dark hair, not like his so much, as his own wound tightly into coils like the dreadlocks he wore and tied with string, but more like his mother's beautiful blue-black ringlets. Jade's locks weren't quite that dark, but her raven locks were beautiful in their thick, soft shininess.
Jade's hand shifted its grip on his hand to move up and she fumbled a bit before taking hold of his fingers, gently pulling them up towards her face and rubbing her soft cheek against the backs of his fingers.. Well now he definitely wouldn't take it away since she seemed to be getting such comfort in his touch, and if he was to be honest with himself, he was already starting to feel his fear of her touching him ebb away.
Shifting his hand a bit so she wouldn't get scratched by his ring, Jack reached his left arm across him to get the bottle of rum that he'd sat down on his right side. Pulling the cork out with his teeth since his right hand was being sweetly held captive by a smaller copy of it, Jack spit the cork into his lap and took a pull from the bottle as he watched her sleep some more and marveled at the feel of such a small one holding his hand in such a way. Especially since she was the one who initiated the affection. That, alone, had his mind reeling.
A little girl, a helpless little girl…his little girl, he corrected himself, was holding his hand and rubbing her soft little cheek against it for comfort as she slept. She was seeking comfort from him, a weasely, black hearted pirate who knew nothing of children and so far in his life wasn't completely sure if he wanted children. He didn't hate children, of course, and rather was finding that Jade had grown on him very quickly with her sweet little giggles when he could elicit them from her, the bashful way she would blush anytime he'd smile or wink at her and of course the way she loved to flatter him.
But simply being fond of a child and being a father were two totally different things. Jack wasn't even sure if he could be a good father. Through the years since he'd been forced to turn pirate, he'd had to be selfish to survive, and one couldn't be selfish when taking care of a child who still needed a lot that he wasn't sure if he was capable of giving. Could he be unselfish enough to put her needs before his?
Jack's mind went back to earlier that night, some hours ago when he heard her scream in terror. His response had been automatic, for he had jumped up to come to her aid before she even finished her cry for help. Jade had set a match and lit some paternal instinct within him that he wasn't even aware that he possessed until that night. Surely no temporary caregiver would have reacted to her scream as he had.
If she could affect him in such a way, maybe he wasn't as cold-hearted and selfish as he pretended to be in order to make others believe he was, to keep up the façade of a dangerous pirate Captain. William had seen past it, though and so had his bonnie lass, Elizabeth, and the whelp had even called him a 'good man'.
"Good man…" Jack mused aloud, softly so as to not wake her up. "Not sure if I believe tha' one, but you seem t' like me, and I guess if a swee'eart like yerself likes a scoundrel like me, I can't be all that bad, aye? Just don't tell anyone, savvy? We'll 'ave it as our li'l secret, for if the word gets out tha' the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow 'as a soft spot for a certain, pretty li'l fing like you, things'll get bad for both o' us, savvy?"
Jack smiled as Jade's hold on his hand loosened as she slipped into a deeper slumber. His hand was free, now, but he didn't pull it away, just kept brushing his knuckles gently across her cheek, each stroke seeming to match the invisible hand that was playing his heartstrings the way his Mama used to play her harp and sing. The thought turned his thoughts sad, as he thought of her. He had at least known the love of a mother, even if it wasn't for more than six years. Maggie Sparrow had been a beautiful, tender hearted woman, given to bouts of madness, but a good, loving mother all the same.
His father, on the other hand, had made no indication that he either loved nor wanted Jack at all, nor cared that his son needed his father after his beautiful, wonderful mother was gone…Jack still carried the emotional wounds of that heartbreak around, and avoided contact with his father as much as possible. Since Jack mainly operated in the Caribbean save for when he'd make trips to Eire, and his father mainly operated in the area of Madagascar, they'd managed to avoid each other so far.
Shaking these thoughts out of his head, Jack looked back down at Jade with resolve. Though he doubted his abilities to be a good father, he would do his best by her, and would never abandon her the way his father had abandoned him. He'd take care of his child and do his best to protect her from the violent aspects of his life and shielding her from the harsher facts of life so that she could be innocent a while longer. She'd never starve again, nor would she ever know the pain of abuse again. His little girl would be allowed to enjoy what she had left of her childhood and he'd show her the wonderful things she'd missed out on, most of all of them, freedom.
Jack felt his own eyes getting heavy and knew it was time to head off for his own kip before he fell asleep with his head on her cot. That would likely scare her when she woke up! Jack smiled and gave Jade's cheek a few more gentle strokes.
"Night, darlin', an' I hope ye won't be too disappointed when ye find out I'm yer old man." Jack brushed a curl from her face and rearranged the covers around her small shoulders. There, he'd tucked her in. "Sweet dreams, Jadie," he whispered with a smile. He liked that nickname and planned use it on her from then on.
With that, Jack stood up, taking the lantern and rum with him as he tiptoed out the galley and gently shut the door behind him. This made him smile, as he had, without even thinking about it, made a conscious effort to close the galley door instead of letting it slam haphazardly like he usually did. As he made his way to his own kip across the main deck, Jack grinned wider.
Maybe fatherhood wouldn't be that tough after all, especially where sweet, meek Jade was involved. It wasn't like had to worry too much about disciplining her…he didn't even like doing that with his own crew, much less with a sweet little girl who would cry if he so much as looked at her crossly. Jack gulped a bit. No, he hoped there would be very few reasons to be stern with her. He couldn't bear to see lassies cry and he knew he'd give in unless it jeopardized her health or life.
As he fell asleep that night, Jack realized two things. The first being that his search to find the lass's father had been rather short-lived. "Din't think we'd find 'im on th' Pearl..." he mused with a small smile. The second realization was that at some point he'd have to tell Jade that he was her father. Mumbling into his pillow, Jack grunted a familiar phrase to his lips.
"Wait for the opportune moment…"
to be continued...