The rest of the week I spent shopping for furniture and the like. While the smaller stuff started piling up on one side of the small hotel room, the larger items were set to be delivered Saturday morning. Things went as smoothly as I could have hoped, and by late Saturday evening the last delivery had been dropped off. I kicked back on the chaise on the back deck and watched as the sun went down. Monday construction was to start up on the rec center and the complex I had been dreaming of almost my whole life. Maybe this area wasn't in need of it so much, but there'd always be another crisis somewhere and I hoped that it would end up helping those who needed it most. I had a list of potential people to interview and turn the reins of both operations over to. My attorney, being the great and brainy guy he was, had all the paperwork in order and all that was left to me was choosing the appropriate people to put in charge. From there it would be in their capable hands, while I'd still be overseeing things just on a slightly smaller scale. I didn't foresee that we'd have any financial problems. The first few years of property taxes, insurance and any possible needs that may arise would come out of accounts for both.
The job Bobby had helped line up for me at Carly's not starting for another two weeks I now had a lot of time on my hands. Too much time. I had been so busy planning, making sure things were in order I hadn't time to think of much else. Now I had time to realize that building a new life wasn't going to take away the loneliness. A shooting star chose that of all times to flicker across the darkening sky, which only drove that point home harder. Swallowing the lump in my throat I vowed this new life would bring with it a new and stronger me, it would take some time but eventually I promised myself that much. I had accomplished more in the last week than I had my entire life. Mostly because staying busy kept the past buried, and my mind elsewhere. But nothing stanched the pain entirely, and every night before the sandman had me in his grip Cas's face fluttered against the back of my eyelids.
Flipping through the numbers on my cell I wondered what Bobby and Dean were up to... if they too were feeling as lousy as me. After punching in CALL I listened as it rang and rang, finally voicemail kicked in.
"Hi... it's me. Uh... I got settled into my new place. It's amazing, really peaceful. You'd like it."
Being strong means admitting you could use a little help...
"I really need you...wish you were here. I miss you Sam."
I clicked OFF, my voice thick with unshed tears. I'd always hated goodbyes, but this time there had been no closure. No body, no funeral, nothing. We'd all just went our separate ways and let it be. Usually a person had a headstone to put flowers on, or a spot that their loved ones ashes were spread. I know I didn't care to revisit the spot where the rings had forced some sort of bottomless hole to appear out of nowhere. Worst of it was no one knew what that meant for Sam, if he were tied to Lucifer that meant he'd be in hell. That part angered me, and not just at anyone but at God himself. Sam sacrificed himself for the entire human race, God's creation.. and that was what he got in return?
After slipping on some flannel pj pants and a tank I put an old Cranberries cd in. Skipping through to the song I was looking for I slid under the covers and cried myself to sleep while I can't be with you continued on repeat. Chiming of the doorbell woke me up the next morning and wiping the sleep from my eyes I trudged down the stairs.
"Hi, I'm Desi. I live across the street." said the bubbly redhead handing me a plate of cookies.
"Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?" she asked looking over my attire.
"It's fine, I should have been up anyway. Come on in."
We chatted for almost an hour, she was the type of person it was hard not to like. It wasn't until after she'd left I decided she'd be perfect for the therapist position that would be open once the rec center was completed. Granted she would be interested in the job. There would be different group meetings held there, as well as those who just needed someone to talk to from the complex. One of my contractors had told me there were still those looking for a place to get back on their feet from the last hurricane, which only doubled the crews efforts to get the place done soon.
After making myself presentable for the day I ruffled through the applicants and started making calls. I'd narrowed the list down and set up thirty-two interviews starting tomorrow morning and running until late afternoon. With that out of the way the rest of my day was clear. Grabbing one of my favorite old books I grabbed my car keys and drove to the park. There were a few people out either running or biking along the trails and I watched them for a little while before seeking the perfect reading place. A white willow that stood a few feet away from a small pond called my name. Once I was settled in a comfortable position I got lost in the pages, not even noticing I'd missed lunch. As I finished the last page the sun had already started to its decent, after stretching I drove home.
Making myself a quick sandwich I settled down in front of the tv. Half way into the nightly news there was a knock at the front door. Desi had returned bringing her roommate Jess. Introductions made Jess carried out a bottle of wine and two glasses, I brought my ice water. Desi started a fire in the pit and Jess asked me about 'my story'. So I filled them in on my life to date, apart from the Apocalypse bit. I was surprised by the weight that was lifted by that simple act of being so open with them, but it felt freeing. The two of them took turns sharing their lives, and how much they loved it here. I couldn't help but to notice how easy this seemed, and it felt nice having girlfriends after being around a bunch of guys for so long. The doorbell rang halting our girl talk.
"I'll be right back." I told them leaving my glass beside my chair.
Opening the door my heart nearly lurched out of my chest.
"Come in." I stepped back allowing my guest room to walk past me onto the entryway rug.