A/N: Hello to all of you faithful Samcedes' readers. I finally broke my self-exile and began writing today. I got messages from whoknowstv and CaramelCane in September, and I had thoughts of how I could incorporate both requests. It came out a hot mess because I couldn't write Facts of Life fanfiction to save my life for CaramelCane, but I could continue Evans Eight for whoknowstv while incorporating Kim Fields as Dorothy "Tootie" Ramsey Jones in my AU Samcedes Brady Bunch world. Forgive me for all my many mistakes, and know I own none of the shows or characters but all my OCs, and I hope all you had a wonderful Christmas and hoping that all of you have a blessed New Years as well. One of my reviewers said I should try writing screenplays, and I am going to. The beginning of this chapter is actually, more of a TV scene than chapter in a book. So, thanks for all you readers who review and inspire me to continue writing even when I rather read and not have to try to take my words and make them make sense to readers. I treasure you more than words can say.

"Mercedes, you know I am here to make sure that you give birth to two healthy babies. I am not going to fight with you. You are on bedrest, and you called and asked for me to leave your daddy who has still persisted in making me a golf widow by staying on the course and at that snooty club of his, all day. I never thought that retiring in Florida would mean that he would indulge in a second occupation."

"Whatever, mom, after my blood pressure went sky high and the doctor demanded that I stay in bed these last ten weeks of pregnancy, I must have been out of mind to ask you to come help Sam and Blaine with the children. I am such a selfish daughter I know."

"Mercedes Jones Evans don't you use that sarcastic tone with me. As soon as Sam called me with the news of how that ratchet ex-wife of his tried it by attempting to air those disgusting lies about you on that failure of the show that wouldn't recognize true talent if it was on the so called Real Housewives set with them, I would never know."

"Mom, you know I am not supposed to be thinking about that almost nightmare that Kandi saved me from being a part of."

"It's in the past, and Kandi telling Santana your mutual publicist how Kitty was telling everyone that you married Sam to cover up your affair with Blaine, and that you three were in a threesome relationship because Sam is homosexual, and Blaine is bisexual was just preposterous."

"Nobody who knows us would have believed the lie anyway even if we would have let that lying piece of excrement have her deluded way and have her made up tale air on the show."

"Well, her lies kind of made sense. She said that you wanted to cover up your relationship with Blaine who had been your sex slave not employee and that instead of embarrassing your family by not marrying the broke help, you and he devised a plan that would hide your relationship, while also fulfilling his desire to be with a man. That Blaine had picked Sam up in a gay club and that is how you three came to be."

"Mom, stop laughing that mess is not funny. Think if that footage would have shown and our kids would have been bullied by those false allegations. That is what made me so angry. We had finally started making headway with Craig in therapy, and that heifer attempted to blow it all up."

"I am just glad that Kandi went straight to Santana with those lies, and Santana called Quinn. Quinn not only got the film from the shoot that day, but she also made sure that Cohen and Bravo had to fire Kitty, or all of them would be facing a lawsuit that would have crippled the network and furthered damaged the deranged empire of glamorizing women fighting women over lies for ratings."

"Yes, Quinn had the evidence of Kitty's lies and had the judge issue an injunction that nobody on the set was to mention the lies that were spread are all of those involved would also be included in a lawsuit that could result in damages of over two hundred and fifty million dollars. None of those so-called stars on that show could afford the pay out the amount of money that repeating the slander and lies would cause to yours and Sam's brand. None of those heifers could afford to repeat that hot mess."

"I am grateful for Kandi that she really is good people and helped us out of that mess. Kitty claims that she was on drugs and out of her mind and is somewhere in rehab supposedly getting straight and that is the excuse she is using to not go to court and face the charges that Sam, and I have on her. I really don't care at this point. She is a nonissue in our lives. After all the dirt that the investigator Quinn used to dig up on her and the fact that she relinquished custody of the boys, she has been ordered to not speak about them or us or come within a 20 miles radius which includes this property."

"Still I wished you could have slapped the spit out of her mouth spreading lies about you and trying to harm this family. You, being pregnant with Sam babies, was all the proof you needed to dispel the lie that she said that Sam was incapable of having sex with a woman, and that he was only in the relationship to hide his homosexuality from his family."

"She must have been high to admit that Sam only had sex with her when he was drunk and that she had to beg him to have sex with her. Only an idiot would admit that I agree; and that is what made Kandi began to suspect she was lying. Saying Sam only married her because she was shaped liked a boy and in no way could be attracted enough to me to touch me at all is what finally prompted Kandi to call Santana and immediately get this mess squashed. There was no way for Kitty to know, but Kandi and Sam had been recently honored at a songwriter's banquet. She saw Sam couldn't keep his hands or lips off me, and she saw that I was obviously pregnant and in love with my husband."

"Well, anyone who has been around you two know that you both have the real thing. I am just upset that your indignant anger caused your blood pressure to spike and you to have to go to the hospital with premature labor pains because of this mess."

"When I initially heard from Quinn and Santana, I was fine, but when I saw the footage of the film I just lost my mind and I was ready to find and beat Kitty by punching her in the mouth and forcing her to swallow all of her teeth, so she would never be able to tell such vicious lies again due to the damage that I would have caused to her mouth and throat causing her to also lose her real job of giving old men blowjobs. She really was a Sugar Baby like Blaine thought she was."

"I would have paid money to see that but let's not speak or concentrate on that negative any more. This year has been full of surprises. First to find out you were pregnant, then to find out that one of the twins was hiding when you had your 20-week ultrasound, and then you being admitted in the hospital at 24 weeks because of this mess. I am too old for any more surprises during this pregnancy. I am afraid that next you are going to tell me you are having triplets instead."

"Mom, God is too good to allow us to have any more shocks. I assure that at my last check-up that Sam and I only saw two babies. You have seen the pictures. And you and Mary are the only two who knows the sex of the babies for this big gender reveal party that you and Mama Mary and Daddy D are throwing for me while pops is being held hostage from his favorite golf course."

"Dwight has been bribing me to get me to reveal the sex, or he would not even be bothered to help Mary and I plan the party. He and Stevie are betting that you are having boys against Stacy who is convinced she is getting two nieces."

"Well, Sam and I don't care what gender our babies are as long as they are healthy. I guess that is what makes having two boys and two girls already make us not care which way or the other. The myth that girls are easier to raise than boys, and boys are less drama than girls is totally debunked in our household with your little grand-monster Shelly and our dramatic Craig. I wouldn't trade either of them, I love all my kids so much that I think I could explode from the love I feel for all six of them."

"I never would have thought that I would have six grandchildren before I turned fifty, but I am not complaining at all."

"Okay, mom keep telling everyone you are forty-eight when I am thirty-one, and maybe one day somebody will be crazy enough to believe you. Dying your hair blonde to cover up your gray isn't fooling anybody."

"You listen here, I could have been eighteen when you were born and almost forty, when you first made me a grandmother. Yes, I would have been ten when your brother was born, but who even knows about Donovan. I am just glad that he is finally settling down and marrying his long-suffering girlfriend. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have any grandchildren at all."

"Well, I for one respect Van's desire to not serve his country and have to worry about leaving behind a wife and kids. He will finish his twenty years next year and retire and have his wedding. Jane is only thirty-two, so they have plenty of time to start their family."

"I know sweetheart. I am just glad you introduced the two of them. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter in law. You know I began my career on the stage just like you and Jane before I became a talk show host and then a housewife. Of course, you get your voice from your father. I can sing, but he can blow. You get that fabulous height of yours from me and sassiness, but your looks and voice are all from your father."

"Well, I am my pop's favorite child."

"He spoiled you rotten. He wouldn't let me discipline his baby girl at all. Van was no better, and I, like a fool, allowed you to be rotten as you could be. You would embarrass me sometimes in public with your mouth telling people exactly what you wanted and what you thought. I was grateful that when we threatened to send you to the boarding school that I attended in New York, that you finally were able to discipline your tongue and think before you speak."

"I was definitely not going to Eastland School no matter how much fun and educational you tried to make it sound to daddy. I was willing to do anything to not have to go to a school surrounded by rich and preppy people. That is why my children go to public charter school like I went to a public school."

"I am not going to argue with you about this because we will never agree on this topic. You need to be helping me online shop for more things for my grandbabies. I love the Noah's Ark theme you are doing for the nursery. The rainbow colors will work for boys or girls."

"Yes, I love the blue flooring we chose that looks like a river and the ark shaped cribs that you had personally made mom were a little extra, but the animals and the rainbow color scheme are perfect. I think we have everything that we need."

"Not everything. You need to buy some babymoon clothing. And I need to buy just a couple of more outfits for them."

"Babymoon?"

"Yes, Sam is taking you on babymoon. It is when the couple goes away on a holiday to enjoy the freedom of not having to wake up every four hours for feedings and nappy changes and to have uninterrupted alone time. Mary and I thought that you two would like to go back to the cabin those babies were conceived at, but I checked with your doctor, and he said he only wanted you an hour away, so Mary and I found the Barnsley Resort, a North Georgia resort less than an hour away."

"You and Sam are booked to go in two weeks. I know you wouldn't have anything to wear, so we need to start online shopping pronto."

"Mom…"

"Don't mom me," her mother said as she climbed into the bed beside her daughter. "Mary and I are going to finalize the reveal party while Dwight and Merrill play golf somewhere near here and Blaine is having his own Babymoon vacation with his own friends who he has rarely seen since you have been on bedrest."

"Mom, you shouldn't have done this, but thank you. Sometimes you and Mary are too much, but this is very thoughtful of both of you." Mercedes said and then start crying uncontrollably.

"It is your hormones baby, just let them out." Her mom said while rocking Mercedes in her own short arms.

Two Weeks Later

"Bye Mom and Dad, don't worry I will help the old people and make sure the house is standing when you return." Craig said while smirking up at his four set of grandparents that were in charge now that Blaine and both his parents were leaving for a babymoon of all things.

"More likely it will be up to me to help the grandparents take care of Craig and Shelly while you all are gone." Mimi insisted smirking up to her big brother.

"You, two, cut it out." Sam said looking at his wife who looked as if she had one foot in and one foot out. He was looking forward to some alone time with his wife not worrying about being interrupted by her mother and the mother hen that Blaine had become or their darling children and dog Wolverine.

"Be good all of you. Your grandparents are in charge, and they better brag to us about how well-behaved you four were, or you are all going to be put on maintaining mommy's feet and nails when we return as well as cooking and clean up duty until your siblings are born and are five. I know how artistic you are Kade, and can't wait to see if you or Craig will be in charge of polishing my nails while the girls massage and oil my feet and I know how Shelly and Mimi love to get up early to prepare meals." Mercedes said sarcastically looking at her brood.

"Ooh gross, no way mom, no early mornings, we promise to be good." Were the words that gushed out of their children at their mother's threats.

"Give me one last hug and kiss from all of you. I love you all so much." Mercedes told her kids as she hugged and kissed them almost breaking into tears from being separated from them.

"Mercedes it's not like you are going to be gone for a week. It's just a four-day long weekend. We promise that your house and our grandkids will be here waiting on you when you return." Her mother said while helping Sam ease Mercedes out the house into the minivan that the couple decided to buy when they realized their family was not increasing by one but by two and fitting two car seats in Sam's Cadillac Escalade ESV was harder than doing so in a minivan with automatic doors, so Mercedes had purchased a Honda Odyssey to help when going to doctor appointments and other trips. As soon as the kids were in booster seats, she was going to allow Blaine to keep the van and get a GMC Yukon or Chevy Suburban or Tahoe for herself or at last resort she could get a Nissan NV but she couldn't see herself driving a full size van.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked his wife looking at her with amusement over her tear stricken face looking like she had swallowed something horrible while they were riding towards their destination.

"Just realizing that this eight-passenger van might not be big enough once I am ready to drive again and not be chauffeured by you and Blaine. I don't want to get a full-size van because the Mercedes one is just ugly and trite to drive because it's my name, and the Nissan NV was the cutest of the choicest, but I think I will stick with either the Yukon the Denali might be too small though."

"Only you Mrs. Evans would be thinking about such a thing. Are you okay with this babymoon? I know I am excited to be able to spend our last hurrah together alone before we are knee deep in diapers, but how do you truly feel about going away?"

"Sam, at first I was like ambivalent about it all, but I do miss us having time to ourselves. My mother and Blaine are preparing us for the babies, but more days than not I want them to just leave me alone. So, this is a vacation more from them than for us to have time before the babies."

"I swear the only time they are not hovering around you is when it's bedtime, and they are watching television together. I have almost been tempted to call your dad and tell him that Blaine is trying to steal your mother. The two of them are as thick as thieves."

"And he does what she says no question asked. I swear it's like they are a match made in former boarding school heaven. Before Blaine's family lost their money in the housing crash, he attended an all boy's school in Ohio. Those two have a lot in common."

"I was getting on to you about being my second daddy and here goes Blaine becoming my second mother, and I realized there was nothing worse than having two Dorothy "Tootie" Ramsey Jones in the world."

"I can't believe she lets Blaine call her Tootie."

"My brother and I were forbidden as kids to call her that whenever her friends came to visit, but when she told me that Blaine could call her Tootie instead of Mrs. Jones, that let me know then and there that he had won her over and that I was just going to have to delay my revenge on them by enjoying making them work extra hard when these babies arrive."

"I was feeling guilty about having them help us with twins that I was going to talk to you about hiring another nanny or a full-time housekeeper to help Blaine out, but I have no sympathy for him at all now."

"Do you think my mother would let anyone help her besides your mother, Stacy, and Blaine?"

"I am guessing not."

"You guessed right. It will probably be a battle just getting to hold them that first month, but we will have to put our feet down and start with them how we want to finish with them, or they will takeover like they are doing now. It all started out innocently and we could understand their concerns, but enough is enough."

"Oh, is my little she devil going to return and make them rue the day they try to mother our little bambinos."

"You darn right. I enjoyed their babying for a while, Sam, but I am thirty-two weeks pregnant, and I don't have any more patience for any of it."

"Can you believe in a month we could be holding these two in our hands?" Sam said as he parked the minivan in front of the resort. "I keep wondering if we have two little Shellys in there who look just like you."

"Or we could have two little boys who look just like their daddy and their brothers only with a year round dark tan?"

"Knowing us they will look like a mixture of both of us and act like Mimi and wonder how they are related to us."

"Well, I don't care if they act like us or their siblings or have distinct personalities of their own, I just know that they will be loved, and we have to be careful to not make the mistake my parents made with me and I made with Shelly. We won't spoil them rotten."

Sam burst out laughing. "Not allowing them to be spoiled when they will have four brothers and sisters who think they hung the moon. Two parents who try to be firm but will melt when we look at them, and Blaine and our parents and our siblings who have no children of their own….be realistic Mercy darling."

"Let me live in denial Sam, if they are spoiled they could always end up like me, and I have an almost perfect life, so I won't complain."

"Well you are the perfect wife and mother for me and our kids. So, I don't think spoiling hurts in the long run. We will just have to be firm when they get teenagers. We can do this. We have excellent kids who have survived and thrived through a lot of stuff that most kids never experience. And I think we are doing a great job."

"We are because you are the perfect husband for me and perfect father for our children. Now go check us in, so I can show you how much I appreciate you being the best hubby and daddy ever."

"You know what it does to me when you say daddy in that voice. I am so glad you never called your father that because I like being called that while I spank that behind of yours when we role play the she devil meets the man with a daddy complex."

"You are so crazy Sam Evans."

"And you love me this way Mercedes Evans."

"Darn right, I do, so let's check in and burn the sheets and then enjoy being pampered my love."

"We can finally have time to try out all those positions that are okay during the last trimester of pregnancy. I have been dreaming of all the ways that I could incorporate all those moves while you were still pregnant. Oh my this Babymoon is the best idea ever." Sam told his wife as they entered their Arbor Cottage, and he set out to gently making love to his wife seeing to her comfort and care and not even caring if he fully penetrated her or not. All he did was revel in their love and lovemaking as they kept on burning the sheets and enjoying eating in bed and only getting out of the bed to shower or enjoy their hot tub.

"We could name one of our kids Jac short for Jacuzzi." Sam told his wife their last night on their Babymoon.

"You have lost your ever loving mind Sam Evans."

"I know but considering that was where he or she was conceived, I am just saying."

"And I am just saying not. We already know one name for a girl and boy, and we have two more names to narrow down."

"Well, we have seven more weeks to go if you make forty weeks, but I say in the next three weeks we try to come up with some more names so we can announce them at the Baby Reveal party."

"That's a great idea honey," Mercedes said as she began to kiss Sam and the last things on their minds were baby names as Sam was too busy calling out his wife name and begging for Mercy please.

A/N: I know I have two more chapters at least left in this story: the Baby Gender Reveal and Birth will happen in the next chapter and how the family adjusts to being the Evans Eight those kids I miss like crazy will be in another chapter as well. When will these chapters be written and updated I can't say but a rainy and cold morning kept me in bed and I refused to binge on Netflix, read from my Kindle Unlimited Account, and surf the net so I could devote five hours to this one update. I will finish this story, so never fear and this summer I will be back with another tale for all you dedicated readers.