The feeling Skykit awoke with the next day was unlike anything she had ever felt before.
Without much thought, just skeptical perception, she received the sensation as friendship. Perhaps comfort. Probably love.
These warm, feathery glows that caused unfamiliar purrs to arise in her throat were so alien, so strange to the silver pelted kit, she almost felt ashamed. I've never felt love before. This is the first time.
The only thing that kept her from racing straight to the enemy Clans, to the source of these fluttery happiness charms, was the heaviness that burdened her each day upon awakening.
She would open her icy eyes, yawn, and look out. She would gaze with an achingly familiar longing over her own Clan, as the cats milled around busily with patrols, carrying furry mounds of delicious scents all together in the center of the reed-lined clearing. She would grit her teeth and unsheathe her claws in barely restrained anger, as Nightflower took her kits out, her littermates, like she did everyday.
She would watch with furious envy as Nightflower bent down and licked each one on the head. They would purr and prance around. Skykit could practically see the joyful way their bright eyes shone. Everyday this would happen, everyday she would be reburdened again with this feeling of crushing shame.
I'm just not good enough.
Skykit snapped out of her thoughts, turning them to the present time. It was almost dawn and the sun was rising, tinting the horizon with a slightly red tinge. There were no clouds in view, the sky clear for the morning.
"Hi, Skykit!" Larkkit's cheerful chirp interrupted Skykit's thoughts. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Just thinking," Skykit mewed absentmindedly, turning back to look at the view from the cave's entrance. "I could say the same thing about you."
Larkkit shrugged, not being bothered at all by Skykit's comment. "I like to wake up early to see the sunrise."
"Larkkit! Get back to the nursery right now!" Nightflower's sharp voice cut through the air like a knife. "It's not even dawn yet!"
Skykit saw her sister roll her eyes, before trotting back inside the cave. "Coming, Nightflowerrost! Bye, Skykit!" She added over her shoulder to the spotted kit who was rooted to her spot.
Nightflower turned around, turquoise eyes gleaming in the dark. Her gaze swept pass Skykit as if she were air and turned directly to Larkkit, who was back in the nursery with her tail held high.
Skykit sighed, letting out a gusty breath of air, and felt the familiar prick of betrayal in her chest. The slightest of clouds had started to cover the sky, but were soon evaporated by the sun's rising rays.
Her thoughts turned to the events of last night. A bright ray of sunshine hit her fully in the face, as Skykit thought about the Gathering of yesterday. Looking up, the moon had started to grow smaller, and now was a pale outline along the horizon, soon to be outshone by the glare of the sun.
So far, the day had gone by relatively peacefully, besides Nightflower ignoring her as usual. The dawn patrol was starting to straggle back through the gorse entrance, some cats carrying plump fish that was usual in the season of leaf-fall, soon to become leaf-bare. The flood had started to recede, carrying Skykit's doubts about its cause along with it. It was just a coincidence that the river had started to overflow just as she had felt angry, right? But then there was the incident when Minnowkit fell into the river. Probably a hallucination from her imagination.
The camp was starting to repair rather quickly. Patrols of warriors and apprentices have started to weave reeds and cattails through the wall, strengthening the camp's defences even more for an upcoming flood. The water was starting to drain at a steady rate, the constant sunshine filling the present days with warmth both in the camp and in Skykit's heart.