Wish I could tell you goodbye,
But I won't, 'cause every time that I try
I can't let go, I'm begging you to
Un love me, un love me, un love me.
'Cause I can't un love you.

~Leona Lewis

"I can't believe we are here!" Olivia smiled and took a sip of her champagne. Edison was gazing at her from across the table the food on his fork long forgotten.

"Why is that? This is our fifth date."

"Its exactly that! All those months of hunting you down and asking you over and over again. You were so adamant on not letting me take you out then one day everything changed. Its interesting what persistence can do." Olivia smiled weakly and looked off into the distance. She told Fitz that she needed time to think things over. Edison had begun pursuing her again and with everything happening she just wanted a taste of normal. She was happy with Edison. He engaged her in intellectual discussion and could make her laugh. He was sweet and gentle with her, years of experience helping immensely. He still loved her after all these years and a part of her still felt adoration for him. Somewhere.

"Oh! By the way, I got our tickets for the President's birthday gala tomorrow night." Olivia's attention was brought back immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"The president's birthday? Its tomorrow."

"Yes I am well aware." He had no idea how aware of this she was. She still had the present she bought for him last year in the back of her closet. She resigned before his birthday and no longer had a reason to give it to him. "My excuse me was referring to the 'our'. Were you expecting us to go together?"

"Umm, yes?" The look of confusion on Edison's face irritated Olivia. Things were getting a bit more serious with Edison (she gave him a key) and she was doing her best to stay open and let down her walls, but the thought of being seen with him at public events was frightening to her. Probably because Fitz would be able to see them. The thought of him knowing she was in a relationship and that conversation made her sick.

"Edison, honey, you are the senate majority leader! You cannot be seen out with a professional fixer."

"Says who? You have protected reputations of majority of the old farts that will be at the party!"

"That isn't the point."

"The point is that you are my girlfriend and I want to show you off!" Something about Edison calling Olivia "his" sat with her in the wrong way. She didn't like how the words sounded rolling off his tongue. It only sounded right coming from that silky baritone...

"Edison—" She was cut off by the ringing of her phone. She took it off the table and answered it quickly. "Speak to me Huck."

"She's gone."

"Who?"

"Amanda Tanner. She's gone."

"What do you mean she is gone?"

"I can't find her anywhere. I switched surveillance for maybe an hour to do some clean-up on another client, turn back and she is gone. Phone number dead, apartment abandoned. She isn't at her parents and there are no cars under her name. All the cameras within two blocks show no signs of her. She vanished." Olivia swallowed slowly as she allowed the reality of the situation wash over her. Something was wrong; her gut was doing somersaults.

"What does this mean?"

"It looks like someone, a professional, got to Amanda." She hung up the phone and grabbed her purse quickly.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"I have to go."

"We aren't finished talking!"

"I know and I am sorry. We can talk later, alright?" She kissed him on the cheek quickly and stormed out of the restaurant. As she drove to the office her mind was racing. Who would to take or worse kill Amanda? It had been almost two months since she had her sign the disclosure agreement and she hadn't said a peep. She never moved like she said she would, instead finding a job at a coffee shop. This didn't sit well with Cyrus but Olivia managed to get him to agree to be on his best behavior.

"How does someone just vanish?" Olivia screamed as she stepped into the office. Huck was waiting for her at the door. "None of this makes sense!"

"Whoever took her is good and I mean really good." He showed her the blank surveillance from her apartment and areas surrounding it. No sign of her.

"Huck, how could someone take her and there not be any sign of it? You didn't see any signs of struggle in her apartment?"

"Her apartment is a struggle. Hasn't been cleaned in lord knows how long."

"None of this makes sense! Her phone and everything just cut off? She couldn't have been taken. A hit man would never put in all that work." They sat in silence trying to crack the conundrum but to no avail. Olivia knew it was too late to try to squeeze anything out of Cyrus so she decided to regroup in the morning. She tried to coax Huck home but he felt responsible for Amanda going missing and vowed to search until he found her. Olivia constantly asked herself how she managed to find such dedicated gladiators for her team. They give up so much for her and she really questioned why sometimes. She saved them from their tribulations, sure, but she has placed them in so many risky situations yet they follow her blindly. If they had any idea all the things she has done in the name of the greater "good"? She did her best to shrug it off as she walked to her car.

`"Liv, what are you doing here? Its late." Verna coughed as Liv sat by her side. Verna was laying in the hospital bed playing with the IV in her right arm. The color had been sucked from her skin, a pasty white color. The wig she had been donning recently was resting on the table next to her bed.

"I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Well enough to attend the President's birthday gala tomorrow. I know you came here to persuade me to stay here."

"You need your rest, Verna. A party is the last place you need to be in your condition."

"I have cancer, not the plague. I refuse to be held captive by it." Liv threw her hands up in submission. There was no stopping Verna when she was determined. It was something that they had in common. "Are you going."

"Doubtful. I do my best to steer clear of any white house function unless necessary."

"They miss you there desperately, you know."

"I miss them too. It just hurts too much. Being there knowing what we did...I didn't deserve to be there."

"None of us deserve it yet here we are reaping the benefits. Not so much in my case." She let out a long and painful cough that made even Olivia wince. She felt nothing but sorrow for her mentor as she lay in distress.

"Verna...do you regret it?"

"There is no point in wasting time on the past. We made the decision together. There is no changing it now."

"Tell me that it doesn't eat away at you everyday? That defying everything this great country stands for, everything the people believe in? That doesn't kill you?"

"Liv, I'm already dying. No need to bury myself any earlier with guilt."

"I just...It feels like something is going to go wrong. I can't shake this feeling that everything is coming to a head. That we're in danger." She searched Verna's face for any signs of agreement. She saw a flash run across her face.

"Hollis. He has been acting strange lately. Hasn't talked to any of us in a few months but has been quite buddy buddy with Langston."

"Cyrus has already told me this."

"Did you know that he keeps two phones in his office? One locked in a drawer with a key only he holds?"

"So I'm not crazy?" She remembered her last meeting with Hollis and how he tried to sneak that phone from his desk. Olivia threw it off as a figment of her imagination. "I saw him sneak it out of his desk the last time I saw him!"

"I don't trust him, Liv. I've seen him on it and it looks very secretive. I agree with you. I feel like something is going wrong. And whatever it is, I wouldn't be surprised if its Hollis's doing."

She had just settled in bed with a glass of red wine when the phone rang.

12:13.

"Dammit, Fitz." She said under her breath. "What?" She seethed when she picked up the phone. He didn't respond. "Fitz?"

"You need time?" His voice was quivering with anger.

"What?"

"You told me that you needed time. To get things in order and all that shit. I didn't realize a boyfriend was part of getting your house in order." Shit, how did he know?

"How did—are you...are you having me followed?"

"Of all the people, you had to choose Edison? Him? Why him?"

"That is none of your business! Mr. President, you are out of line!"

"I am the ruler of the free world I am never out of line!" He shouted commanding her silence. He was so hurt and it was killing her. She could her the clinking sounds of ice on a glass as he finished off a glass of scotch.

"Its my birthday tomorrow." The tone in his voice had dropped drastically. The loneliness was more evident.

"I know."

"They're making me have this huge party."

"I know."

"Are you coming?"

"I don't know."

"With Edison?"

"I don't know." He scoffed.

"You are Olivia Pope. 'I don't know' isn't a phrase allowed in your vocabulary."

"I haven't decided yet."

"I want you there."

"For what? So you can try to get your hands up my skirt? No thank you."

"Don't act like you would fight me if I tried." He knew how to snatch the air from her lungs even from over the phone. She hated him in this moment.

"You don't own me anymore. I moved on, I got over you. I don't need time anymore because I realized that being with you was detrimental to me. Its over." He chuckled which made her more upset. "What is so fucking funny?"

"You! You really want me to believe that you stopped loving me? That Edison is everything you want in life? That he is everything you ever dreamed of? I may be naïve but I am far from stupid." She was seething now. Why didn't he believe her? Why didn't she believe herself?

"You know what you are? You are a spoiled little manchild who can't take not getting his way. This is over. We are over. Do not ever call me asking to clean up your messes, don't ever call me just to hear my voice. Lose my number and forget I even exist." She slammed the phone on the hook and rolled onto her stomach to scream into her pillow. Everything was falling apart at a rapid pace. She hated Fitz with every ounce of her, but not because he was acting like a selfish prick. She hated him because she knew he could never be hers regardless if she waited eternity for him. He would always belong to the country and their scrutiny, to his legacy and his political monster of a wife. Most of all she hated herself because she the made it this way.

"Liv, you up?" She heard Edison call from the front door. She groaned and quickly pretended to sleep. Olivia was constantly asking herself why she gave that man a key to her home. She felt the pressure of Edison's body on the right side of the bed. He was hoovering over her, watching her. She felt his lips on her cheek. He turned out the light and settled in next to her. She didn't open her eyes until she heard him snoring softly.

Olivia rolled on her back and thought long and hard about her life. She had this great man sleeping next to her who loved her and wanted to be with her. Who could be with her. Yet she wasn't happy. She was accustomed to smiling when she wanted to cry, able to toss her head back and laugh when things were the farthest from funny. She knew she could spend the remainder of her life this way; pretending. But, she didn't want to pretend anymore. Her life has been a lie since that night on that campaign trail plane. Her white hat has long since been snatched from her head and she couldn't find a viable replacement for the anguish and resentment she felt. On top of it all, her gut has been so terribly off these days. Clients were getting lies past her left and right while her team had to pick up the slack. Everyone knew something was wrong with her and Olivia had no clue how long she could keep up her tough front. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she realized her life was falling apart. She couldn't shake off this feeling that the world was about to crumble.

And crumble it would.

A/N: Next chapter is the beginning of a lot of turmoil so get ready! Edison won't be along for too long, so do not worry! (:Thank you again for reading/commenting and subscribing! It means so much to me!