Disclaimer before you start:
Grim belongs to non-heinous and Rose belongs to edge-of-bizarre. Modern AU, not "First Date" but it's as close as it gets with Rufflout. Major thanks to the ladies for allowing me to use their OCs in this never ending drabble.
Nobody noticed the pizza getting cold on the coffee table; TV in the background was no more than dull humming now. She let herself be pulled forward and enjoyed the strong hold on her waist, grinning against his kiss. This was not different than anything they've done before, but knowing that it was 'something' was strange.
Ruffnut's hair was down in all its glory, free for Snotlout to run his fingers through it as he pleased; yet his hands took their time, explored the body they already knew well. The long, tight legs, her weight on his lap, her familiar scent of something clean, crisp, oceanic… Tuff said she smelled like a man but Snot couldn't agree; it was the sexiest and most comforting thing that has ever touched his nostrils. There was something wild about it, almost 'windy', but whenever he told Ruff that, she wanted him to explain what 'windy' smelled like and he failed. It didn't matter, the scent was her, and her entirely. It was what filled his brain in that moment.
He was already out of breath from making out, she kissed like a hurricane and left his knees weak every time, so he sounded like he was just back from a 5K when he chuckled.
"I thought you were hungry?"
Ruff bit her bottom lip and looked at his eyes, still grinning. "It can wait."
It was great to know that they both had set their priorities straight. "Good," he mumbled, panting and pulled her close to kiss her neck. The exhale and the long slender fingers massaging the back of his neck was-
"Who the FUCK is that?!"
Snot would have worried about the wellbeing of the idiot who was ringing the door, but he was too pissed himself to care. "Are you kidding me?" he spat and threw his head back groaning. Ruff's shoulders had fallen and she was looking at the ceiling with a stare that could easily dig a hole to hell, because they both could now hearwho was abusing the doorbell.
He openly started to swear as Ruff threw herself on the couch and got up like a speeding bullet. "I am going to skin him alive…" And Snotlout would be damned if he interfered.
Opening the door like a raging beast had little to no effect on Tuffnut's face. The lanky guy looked absolutely dead, from sallow skin to red eyes. He was sober enough to be surprised that Ruff opened Snotlout's door but clearly drunk enough to forgetwhy. Ruffnut honestly never wanted to punch him this hard in years.
"What the fuck do you want?!"
"Where is Snot?"
"Dead, I'm burying him. Go home?"
"No! I can't! I- I need-"
She couldn't learn what he needed because he stopped dead in the middle of the sentence and walked directly to the living room, where Snotlout was sitting on the couch with a pillow pressed to his crotch. He looked far from impressed, clearly it was not what he hoped to hold there that night.
Ruffnut couldn't even talk, her brother's whining had filled the room so quick that all there was left for her to sit on the other side of Tuffnut and grab her half-finished beer.
"I really want to kill you right now," she growled. The glare she and Snotlout exchanged could not be more in sync. Tuff didn't hear her; he just sat there like a kicked puppy, even his dreadlocks were looking sad.
"I'm a dick. I'm the worst. I am actually, literally, the worst. She hates me, right? Yes, yes she does. I've messed this up, I'm a moron. She hates me…"
If his voice wasn't so faint and high, she could have taken him seriously, at least a bit, but that was a lost opportunity. All of a sudden, her bare knees had proved more interesting than anything else. That until he heard Snot replying.
"Dude, what happened?"
"Are you actually trying to continuethe conversation?"
The impatience in her voice was directed at Snotlout this time, who apparently had both the nerve and the patience to console the dumbass who did God knows what to piss Grim off. Snotlout awkwardly shrugged and Ruffnut huffed grabbing a slice of pizza, hoping to take it out on the rubbery cheese and cold peperoni. Tuff was rocking back and forth, making her want to choke herself.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! The stuff I said to her… Look, man, hear me out. This is what happened, okay…"
Half an hour later, with her third empty bottle in hand, Ruffnut was about to slip off the couch and crawl under a chair. Tuffnut's non-stop crying and whining must have done it for Snot's boner too, at least they didn't have to worry about hiding Mr Happy from his best friend; yet it was not good news for Ruffnut who had long memorized the details of the design of the bottle in her hand. It was a whole new level of numbness.
"I mean," she heard Tuffnut whimper, "I could have just talked to her! Asked her, right?! Is this over? Is she gonna dump me?"
Snotlout had also lost his glimmer of attention when Tuffnut started repeating the entire fight for the third time, so no answer came from the stout guy who was trying to stay awake. The dead look in his eyes would have cracked Ruffnut up some other time; not when she needed someone to end this Aunt Agony session so she could save their night. Date night, my ass.
When Tuffnut turned to her, she nearly rolled her eyes out of their sockets.
"Oh. My. God."
Her physical reaction could only be explained as some sort of spasm. Shuddering, she put down the bottle, grabbed her phone and tucked her hair into a huge knot.
"That's it. I am fucking out of here."
"Babe?!"
"Don't babe me. Babysit this moron so he won't drown himself in a shot glass, whatever. And you, shut the fuck up, stop crying and call her tomorrow so you can sort this out. Jesus… I'm out."
"Wha-Where are you going? Don't leave me here!"
"To the girls! At worst I'll watch Magic Mike and let Grim do my eyebrows or something, anything is better than this."
She was mad at Tuffnut for fucking up his relationship that particular night, she was mad at Snotlout for not being able to kick that dumbass's dreads out of the house, she was mad at herself for sitting through half an hour of whining, losing the will to live along the way. She was hardly in the mood for a sleepover but alcohol, food and man-bashing was guaranteed, so what the hell.
Astrid had opened the door, looking like a vision from a frat boy's sleepover themed wet dream. Ruffnut looked at her beautiful fresh face, prettily messy bun, turquoise tank top, teeny tiny shorts and the pint of mint ice cream she held in her hand. Still, as a person who had the life sucked out of her, she was feeling none of the fun time vibes. The look on Astrid's face was a question mark in flesh.
"What the-? Weren't you together with Snot tonight?"
"Do not get me started."
She snapped at Astrid as if everything was her fault and dragged her flip-flopped feet inside, in desperate need of hard liquor and some ranting. Following the smell was easy and she was glad that it was what she hoped for: cupcakes. Plenty of them. She needed to stuff her face like a pig.
Rose's eyebrows skyrocketed when Ruff walked into the kitchen fuming like a boiling kettle. Maybe she shouldn't have interrogated her just after she barked at Astrid, but she did it anyway.
"What happened?"
Ruff deadpanned at Rose who was mixing the thick frosting.
"Tuffnut happened. That fuckface showed up drunk at Snot's, miserable as hell and started whining and crying about you," she gestured at Grimhilda, who looked far from enthusiastic, "-and well, man down. I took off and Snot is babysitting his sorry ass."
"Ouch… Sorry about your night."
"Thanks."
She groaned at Rose, upset. Four beers on empty stomach was starting to go to her head. After jumping next to Grim on the counter, she rolled her eyes. "He told the story like, six times in thirty minutes, he'll probably lick your bathroom floor tomorrow to make you forgive him, FYI. He is an asshole, but a really sorry asshole."
She really didn't care for fixing others' relationships but his brother could be piece of shit, as she's experienced her whole life. She liked Grim a lot, she was probably the best thing that happened to Tuffnut (she couldn't say vice versa) and Ruff just hoped stuff like these forced some sense into his squirrel brain instead of making it worse. She wrapped one skinny arm limply around Grim's shoulder before continuing. "But it wouldn't hurt to really bust his balls and make him jump from second floor or something, just in case."
She was sure she was sitting on some crumbs which poked at her bare legs under her ripped shorts; she moved her butt to get comfortable but the night was proving to be too frustrating to ever let that happen. Reaching into her back pocket, Ruff found the crumpled package and as soon as she put a cigarette her mouth, another hand snatched it away.
"No!"
"Hey!"
Astrid's frown was too familiar, she had her 'mommy' on and Ruff could only manage to grunt loud enough to startle Grim's cat.
"No, I mean it! It smells like cake and vanilla, I don't want to breathe this crap."
"Ugh, health freak… I just got cockblocked on my first date, is this the way to treat me?"
"At least your boyfriend didn't call you a bunch of names that'll keep you up at night." The voice was broken and upset, just like how Grim's face looked. For the first time, Ruffnut's face softened a little. "Don't listen to him, come on… Tell you what; later I'll roll you a joint and then we'll eat our weight in frosting. You won't remember a thing by morning, you'll see." She was dead serious about her ways of support, even though the other two looked sceptical. Ruff didn't mind, she was still thinking about the sex she could be having, that bastard was going to pay her back.
She jumped back down without grace and started looking around restlessly. It wasn't long before a pitcher of bright pink cocktail smelled strongly of vodka and something sweet was handed to her by none other than Rose. She must have sensed that Ruffnut meant business and was ready to mess the kitchen up to find alcohol. Ruff, looking like she just got proposed, bent her knees to wrap her arms around Rose's soft figure and took her frustration out on the poor girl, nearly squeezing her to death.
"Ruff-breathe-HELP-nO-"
"I love you THE MOST."
"Are you drunk?"
"Not enough."
Nobody was surprised when she just dunked straw in the entire pitcher rather than bothering with a glass. If she couldn't get laid, she was going to make sure she got shitfaced.