When Harley woke up that sunday morning she felt sore. Flashes of last night flew through her mind and all kind of feelings collided in her heart and mind. She couldn't exactly put a finger on each thing that happened last night. Her mind were still clouded for the sleepy hour.

Ok, let's make a check list:

I hanged out with Pamela Last night

We went to the game and she hug me.

We danced and have much fun.

She told me what lily means and I'm almost 99% sure she was nervous about that.

Yesterday was her birthday and she was happy for have spend it with me.

I almost kissed her

…

HOLLY SHIT! I ALMOST KISSED HER!

Her brain seemed to react at last and her chest started to beat hard instantly. I think I'm going to pass out from cardiac arrhythmia if I keep giving my heart this kind of twist.

She stared blankly at the ground, collecting every feeling that rushed at the same time. She felt confused. More than that, all her mind is a messy place. Knowing that Pamela makes her feel something so deep and strong, and that she is sure by now that Pam feels the same about her, made her chest flew out of her body. She feels like she was falling and now she can fly. She feels indestructible, powerful, secure, and at the same time so vulnerable and fragile. Like her chest were on fire and warm every fiber of her body. But that fire is starting to consuming her. Filling her being and throwing any barrier that she could have built.

This scared her… she's scared to feeling all this for a person. For a woman… Sure, she had felt attracted to them before, but just as something natural. She always had thought that anyone can love other people, not caring gender, just being the person itself. However, she mostly had felt attracted to men before so this new discovery brings some insecurity on her.

Could I just… being curious? But an instant reminder of all that Pamela makes her felt dispersed that thought. No, I know that there's… something that I feel for her. Something STRONG. And she feel it too, I know she does. GOD I have always known it. The way she looks at me, speaks, laughs… and I know I do the same. Suddenly realization hit her and the fear insider her increased. Was she expecting on me to do something? Was she trying to do something on me? Does she want to make a move on me? If it is, Why she hasn't done it? Maybe she thinks I'm not really interested or...

Her thought were interrupted when she heard something out the bedroom. It seemed like steps approaching her. She felt a little of uncertainty for a moment, but when the door opened and she could see the person outside, and her fear became panic.

"Hey sweetie! Good morning" A grining man standing at the door frame with a tray full of breakfast came and joined a puzzled Harley on the bed. He leaned forward a placed a quick peck on her lips, making her break free of her shock.

"H-heey yourself. What are you doing here so early? I thought you're coming this night!" She tried to mask the disappointment in her voice. She didn't expect Jay right now, and with all she had on mind, his presence is not good.

That's it. The reason she hasn't made a move on me and maybe she would never do.

You are a married woman Harley… and he's your husband.

"Well, There were some troubles with one of my co-workers family and we all needed to return before the expected. I just arrived here in fact, but I didn't wanted to woke you " He explained as handed her some bread with jam. She chewed in silence, trying to calm her thoughts and focus on him. "So, since I'm here, What do you think about us to eat outside and ride for the park? I'm wonna made it up for you for yesterday."

She could hear the hopefully in his voice and it almost broke her, knowing that her heart is calling for someone else, someone that she shouldn't be calling for.

"S-sure. You don't have to, really. But alright, it would be fun" She smiled at him, trying her best for showing excitement at the plan. They finished breakfast and Harley made her way to the bathroom to get clean while Jay spoke to her.

"Oh, Harls. What's with the Lilies?" He yell from the Kitchen.

Harley Froze. Her heart felt like ice and cold started running through her body.

He knows... He knows.

No, get it together Harl. Why should he knows?

"W-whan are you talking about?..." she stuttered and tried to sound as casual as possible. Her heart was pounding for fear and anticipation for whatever was coming on.

"The Lilies. The ones here." He came chucking to the room again to face Harley. "Where do you get them?" He asked smiling and curious.

"Oh, these…" She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and smiled back. "Pam gave it to me last night. They… were about to fade so she decided to bring them to us" She specified the US word and felt relieved when Jay beamed.

"Oh how lovely! She's so sweet. Did you guys get fun last night?" He asked approaching her and enveloped her in a warm hug, resting his chin on the top of her head.

She swallowed hard feeling the guilty pang in her chest thinking about last night events.

"Yeah, we do. In fact, it was Pamela's birthday so she seemed happy about it" .

"Really? Woow, that was awesome. I'm glad you get to know each other better. I bet she would be closer to you faster than you think." He finished with a little peck on her head and realizes her. Walking to the kitchen again.

Harley just stayed there, feeling how guilt and confusion filled her heart. She IS getting closer than you think...

They arrived to a small coffee in the middle of the city. It was small but very comfy. Perfect to spend a Sunday noon. However, Harley had been quiet and a little distant from her usual self, thinking about her feelings and trying so hard to be rational on them.

C'mon Harls. Get it together. You need to stop doing this. Yeah, you've been claiming for this since you met her but, it just seemed so distant, so impossible… Now that it's real, you know you can't handle this. This is wrong. You're a Married woman, with a super cute and sweet husband. You can't do this to him. You just need to push that feelings… yeah, push them out, and everything is going to be alright. You could return to old times.

While Jay ordered their drinks she wandered her gaze around the place in search for a free table. When she spotted one near the window, she approached it to sit. The place was quiet and many people were there chatting with friends or reading a book. It felt warm and made Harley's mind to relax.

Her gaze traveled to other tables and she spotted two women chatting, about two tables from where she was sit. A tanned woman with short brown hair and blue eyes was grinning at a pale,Black haired and green eyed woman, who was giggling and smiling at her. They never break the eyes from the other and seemed so happy and comfortable speaking. She lowered her gaze to catch that their hands were clasped with the other. Light tumbs making small circles on the back of the tanned hand. OMG they're a couple! It seemed like they were on a date or something, cause there was an obvious attraction emanating from them. The way they look at each other, like there's no one else but them here. They're so cute! They must be together for a while for being so lost. She couldn't help but smile. The scene itself was full of love and affection that were impossible not to do it.

It must be beautiful. Being with someone you love and care and knowing that you mean the same from they. Because, that is love, right?

She then remembered that time when they discussed how love was. She had described it how she feeled, but now she knows that there's more… there are feelings, sensations, and thoughts that couldn't be described with words.

She makes me feel so right, so good with myself. It's like there's a whole new world that I never realized it could exist. Could I… been falling for her? Like, really fall for someone?

"Honey, you're okey?"

She break the stare from the couple to see Jay standing next to her with two cups of coffee and a piece of cake. "Oh, yeah yeah. I was just...thinking". He took a sit in front of her, blocking her view from the couple. She signed a little disappointed and took her drink and a sugar bag. She stared at the cake lost in thoughts. Well, maybe all the sugar I need is here. She wandered if her thought was an analogy or a statement. Jay seemed concerned and looked at her with a worried stare.

"Are you sure? You have been a little… distant last weeks. You're not sick, aren't you?"

"I'm fine. Really. Don't worry." She concentrated her stare in the cup of coffee, avoiding the guilt that grown with that stared and taking a small sip of her cup. Jay seemed like he didn't buy that and she decided to liger the mood again. "But tell me, What's with that co-worker family? You said something happened with them and all of you decided to came was something wrong?" She pushed the subject and Jay seemed to understand the change for good.

"Yeah, do you remember Rob? That nice guy we went to dinner with a while ago" She noded in approval."Well his wife, you know her, she was a nice girl. Cared, polite, lovely…" Harley keep taking sips from her coffee and listening carefully. She remember her, for sure, they seemed like a real lovely couple."When we were there he received a call from her, telling him she couldn't take it anymore and she confessed she had cheated on him!" Harley almost split her Coffee on his face and began to cough.

"Wh-whaaaat?" Was all she could form between coughs. That was something she hadn't expected, and THAT really doesn't help in her situation.

"Yeah, that was my reaction too. They seemed so happy. I Mean, How could she done that to him? He is a good guy. He definitely didn't deserved that. And she even tell him that she will not abandon him. How could you cheat on someone and still wanted to be at his side?"

"W-well… maybe she really wanted to stay. B-Because she nows he is a nice guy"

Harley felt dizzy. All her thoughts and the worst scenarios rushed in her mind at the same time. Her heart started pounding with fear.

"Yeah but, that doesn't change the fact she cheated. If you already are in love with someone else, then be with that person and leave the other. It's hard and hurts but, You just can't take both." Harley was pale at this point. It was like all her fears were been throwing in her face. She rested her elbow on the table and placed her forehead on her hand. She was sweating cold and the guilt started to cloud her mind and sight.

A warm hand placed on her free hand and gave hers a light squeeze. "Hey, are you sure you're feeling right?" Somehow the warm in her hand seemed extrange. It didn't feel right and comforting like other times. It felt heavy, and only made her skin to burn painfully. It's not the same touch. His hand felt different from hers...She slide gently her hand from his and waved it, taking deep breaths and calming herself.

"Yeah, yeah, I Told you, It just… My stomach felt a little delicate, that's all" She looked at him and he had a confused look and stared at her like he was putting pieces in places. It panicked for a second. "Wh-what?"

"Sweety…" He keep looking at her in disbelief and Her heart was ready to go out and run away from here. He knows, he knows, he knows… Stupid Harley!, why did you take off your hand?, He's your husband. She swallowed hard trying to think in a safe leave. " Are you pregnant?"

Her eyes almost gone out of her head at how they were wide for the shock. WHUTAF?...

"Wha- NO! Of course I'm not" She hadn't expected that question and it take her off ward.

"Well, You were were ager weeks ago and that could explain how are you feeling and…" His voice trailed off, like Hesitant of continue.

"And what? Fuck, congratulations Harl. This is what Your horny mode caused.

"Nah, forget it…" He shaked his head and smiled. "Or…" He took a devilish smile and looked at her playfully "You wanna be?"

Harley chucked at this. That was close… "Sweety, we talked about this. Is not like I don't want them, but… is too soon".

"Yeah I know… but I really really want some. Just...think about it, okey? And better take care of you. You must be too stressed" She noded and finished their drinks. Her chest felt heavy. This is wrong, I need to fix this for good. For him.

The rest of the afternoon they walked for the park. They mood had certainly lighter and they were laughing and enjoying the company. Hand in hand they saw the families and couples staring at the sky and night activities. It was easy to Harley to enjoy time with Jay, it always had been. Sometimes, seeing some couples, she couldn't help but thought in certain redhead, but she pushed that thoughts away and enjoyed the ride.

Once it was dark, they decided that it was time to go home, but Harley had other things in mind. She had felt so good that afternoon, being with him like old times and spend time like the couple they were, so she felt the mood for other… intimate things. She leaded him at a different zone on the park, mostly alone, in hopes that this could erase other thoughts. I need to do this, I need to be bond with him again.

They arrived to an alone place in the park, mostly dark and with no signs of people walking arround. She took Jay in a fierce and hungry kiss, tugging at his shirt and pulling him close. He was taken aback for the sudden change of mood, and just placed his hands on her hips.

"B-babe… we have a house, you know… where… we can do this… in peace" He said between kisses and trying to calm the hungry lips that assaulted his.

"Yeah… but this…. Is more...exciting." She whispered against his ear and nibble at his earlobe. It doesn't feel right. Why it doesn't feel right? She took his lower lip between her teeth and tug of it. Jay let out a throaty whimper and moan. It's not her voice. Why I want to hear her voice?. Jay raised his hands and cupped her cheeks and Harley instantly flinched at the rough touch. Her hands are softer, and warmer and WHY THE HELL I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!?

C'mon Harl, you can do this. Just let you leave. You trust him, he's your best friend!

She slowly started to pull him at a near tree to pinned him there, but as they approached they hear a nice behind it and they instantly separated and went back.

"Who-who's there?" She said, leaning at Jay's Side, fearing it could be some kind of bad guys at this late hours.

"Oh, sorry… we're coming" They hear a raspy female voice, and seconds later, a couple were peering behind the tree. She stared wide-eyed at them. They were the same couple of girls she had saw at the coffee. Their hair were a mess, their lipstick were smudged, mostly because the green eyed had put it all over the blue eyed girl and they had sheepishly smiles on their faces.

"You… were?" Jay gesturing at the two woman, smiling in understanding.

"Yeah… you... were too?" one of them, the blue eyed and tanned skin asked, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. The green eyed girl just giggled and tried to cover the flush on her face.

"Yeah we… we tried to" Harley accepted and smiled too at the couple. They had happy smiles on her faces, and don't seemed to mind that they were caught in the middle of a made out.

"He he, sorry to scared you. We just… couldn't take our hands to ourselves" The green eyed girl grinned and took the hand of the shorter girl, stealing glances to the other.

"Yeah, I see haha, We just, couldn't wait till home"

"Oh, so you live together?" The blue eyes asked excitedly.

"Yeah, we're married, in fact" Jay smiled shyly. They seemed like teenagers being experimenting with themselves.

"Wooo, It must be great being married" The green eyed girl said and the other nodded "yeah… We just met yesterday and… look at ourselves" She grinned widely. That was the most happy and sincere gesture they could find in them.

Harley stayed agape. They just meet and they just lanced to the other? But they seemed so intimate before, like they had known for ages! Yeah, you know that feeling…

Even when she was smiling at the couple, she wasn't in the mood anymore. They say goodbye to the couple and returned in an awkward silence to home. Jay were focused on the road and stealing glances at Harley, who stare was lost in the window. She felt confused, angry, guilty, sad… so many emotions that indicates her that her life is becoming a totally mess.

That's it… I need to stop this. NOW.

The sunlight of a new day is always refreshing and brings new hopes and expectations. It brings you the opportunity of change your life and decide new ways on it. Pamela know this, and as she opened the Flower Shop and harvest the front flowers she couldn't help but think in certain blonde than had been rounded in her mind all the weekend, not that she hadn't been there before, but that afternoon and the almost kiss they share keep attached to her mind and heart. If I had told her before that was my birthday, Would she had done something special for me? I mean, something MORE special than it was?

She smiled, so full of happiness like she knows she hasn't been in long time. She had fell for Harley, that was sure. Not just because how beautiful the woman was, but how kind, funny and cute she could be. It brings in her feelings and faces of her that she didn't know she could feel. With Harley she feels alive and now with a HUGE possibility that the blonde feels equal, her heart couldn't be more full of happiness. All her fears about doing something wrong dissolved when Harley tried to kiss her that night. The barrier she was afraid to cross is so thin now that she allowed herself to wander in the possibilities.

Maybe… she could be with me after all.

As if Gods had heard her thoughts, she raised her gaze and saw the object of her desires crossing the street and walking towards her. Her smile grew wider and she finds beaming like an idiot at her sight. I'm so in deep… so, SO deep.

"Harls…" She breathed happily but her smile slowly fade as the upset face of the blonde.

"No, no. you're not happy to see me. I don't want you to be happy to see me!" She said in a stern voice and rushed inside the shop. Pamela just gave her a confused face and turned to face her inside the shop. Wtf..?

"Okey…" She watched as the woman was fuming and walking across the shop.

"Okey. So…" Her voice was trembling and he face was a mixture of concern and stern. "I'm here because I don't know what's going on between…" She was walking back and forth in the room, facing everything but Pamela. "YOU make me FEEL something. Something that I Absolutely cannot feel." She faced Pam for first and then she lowered her gaze. Pam kwen then when this is going to lead and started to feel the heaviness in her chest. "I'm MARRIED!... I'm married for GOD SAKE!... I have a husband. This… MAN. This lovely guy that…" She faced Pamela, and she raised her face too. "He's done nothing wrong and I…I just..."She could see the worry and the fear in the blonde face and voice. She hears like she was at the verge of tears. It broke her heart and could just stare wide eyed at that watery blue eyes . She was about to say something when a customer enter in the shop.

"Hey, Hi!, I was hopping you can help me to pick a flower. It was for close rooms, no much sun…" As the man speaked, they never leave the starring on the other, almost as if they done that, they would broke apart forever.

Harley groaned in frustration and turned to enter more in the shop, finding the back door and rushed to it. Pamela tried to catch her, but the blonde moved too fast. She felt panic started to rise in her chest, and she took the first two flowers she find and put them on the man hands. "This, This will get perfect. On the house." She pushed the man outside the shop and him just stared agape, eyeing the woman and the plants. "Sorry, we're closed" She locked the door and rushed towards the back room.

As she entered the room Harley's face was shifted to one of decision and coolness. She face her straight and looked into her more confused green eyes.

"Okey so, you see. You need to see, I Can't do this. I can't actually do this. So whatever is or was, it needs to stop now. You understand?" The dead glare that Harley gives her made cold rush flow through her blood and she started to feel weak of the knees. No...No please, don't… "It's over" And that final words crushed the rest of her broken heart.

She hardly registred how Haley passed by her and when she hear the door slammed shut she knew she was gone. She stared blankly at the ground and took small steps towards the armband of the stairs that leads to her department. She rested her arm and head on it trying to process what the hell just have happened. What… what happened, why.. Why she said that, I… her heart felt heavy and she could felt how tears started to fall and run through her cheeks. It's over… I have finally found something and now…

The sound of the door being wide open made her turn quickly, and all she could catch was watery sapphires and golden hair a few inches of her before hungry lips captured hers in a deep and desperate kiss.