Why, oh why did I agree to this? Blackstar insisted that I have dinner with him alone. Since I couldn't bring Soul along with me, I insisted that we have dinner in a restaurant instead of at his apartment. In the event that he lost his temper there would be someone to call for help. I didn't realize how much I missed Soul until he wasn't around. His presence had a calming effect on my nerves. Focus Maka. While Blackstar chatted away, I was able to discern some things about his personality. For example, he got louder than usual when he got nervous. We started to draw angry stares from the patrons around us. But aside from that, I could see that Blackstar was caring guy and he had a big heart. I could see why we had been child friends and why we had dated. However, emotions were not something he was equipped to handle. He wasn't a vicious or mean person like I originally thought, but he was going to need some serious therapy work through his anger and emotional issues.

As I listened to him tell me about our respective families, I realized that my past life had been a cakewalk compared to his. Blackstar's home life had been an abusive one. His step dad was a habitual drinker and would take out his frustrations on Blackstar and his mother. His biggest fear was that he would become his stepfather. I had sympathy for him and his troubles but in my eyes he still couldn't be trusted. We couldn't be more than friends, at least not until I felt that he was no longer a threat to me. That and the fact that I was in love with Soul.

"Maka do you think you could forgive me for being an idiot?"

"Of course, but before you ask, I should tell you that we can't date. I just can't do it. It's a matter of trust."

Blackstar's eyes narrowed and his face turned into a sneer. "And you are the standard of trust?"

I was really glad that we were in a public place. I wasn't going to back down from Blackstar.

"If you are referring to the incident at the café, I accept your distrust. That doesn't change the fact that your actions were reprehensible. You should have talked to us."

"You remember that?"

"No, Soul told me what happened. He didn't tell me everything so when I do remember, my memory will fill in the gaps."

Blackstar slumped back in his chair. "Sneaky bastard. He's stepped up his game."

"This isn't a game or a competition."

I pushed my chair back from the table and Blackstar grabbed my wrist.

"Please don't leave." "We've discussed everything that we needed to discuss."

"Maka, I'm begging you to give me a second chance."

His mood changes were giving me whiplash, nevertheless, his expression made me feel like I was kicking a puppy. I needed to get out of here before my resolve crumbled.

"I do not doubt that you could redeem yourself Blackstar, but I would always be waiting for you to snap. We would end up repeating the same downward spiral. That would not be healthy for either of us."

"I'll prove to you that I can change."

Great, it really was going to become a competition between him and Soul. I was not only the judge, but the prize as well.

Soul was asleep on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table when I returned from dinner with Blackstar. I quietly shut the door and gently shook him. His eyes formed narrow slits.

"You're back already?"

"What do you mean? I was gone for three hours."

He yawned and stretched. "So how was it?"

"Very informative. I remembered some of the stuff Blackstar told me. Although, I felt like I was hearing most of it for the first time. He also wants me to take him back."

I felt, rather than saw, him stiffen. The expression on Soul's face was something between bored and aloof.

"It sounds like you have a lot to process and some decisions to make. I'm gonna call it a night. See you in the morning."

He was distancing himself from me in case I chose Blackstar. Soul stood up to go to his room but I grabbed the hem of his shirt as he walked past me.

"Don't pull away from me. You are the one person I've trusted since I woke up in that hospital room. If you leave now, I'll have nobody."

His eyes held such sadness. "I'm not leaving. I'm just giving you the space to make whatever decision you feel is best."

"And that's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say? Don't go back to him? It is your call."

"If you cared about me at all you would tell me how you feel."

"Maka, I do care. I'm just not good with words."

"Then show me."

His posture sagged as he pulled out of my grasp. "I can't. I refuse to make the same mistake again."

He went to his room and quietly shut the door. I sat there in stunned silence as tears ran silently down my face. I grabbed one of the couch pillows and held it to my chest. I lay on the couch and cried myself to sleep. Memories of the past began to play like movies on the big screen.

Soul and I were in a café. I was waiting for Blackstar to arrive.

"You look you are going to pass out. What's wrong?"

"I've been thinking about ending my relationship with Blackstar."

Soul's eyes widened. "Why? I thought things were great between the two of you."

I stared into my coffee to avoid meeting his eyes.

"They are. It's just that my heart isn't in it. I think I may have feelings for someone else and it is not fair to him to keep pretending like this."

"Who is this other person?"

I was positive that my face was tomato red but I needed to know if he felt the same way about me. Now that the opportunity was here, I wasn't about to let it pass me by.

"It's you Soul." He didn't say a word for what seemed like ages. "You know let's pretend I didn't say anything."

"Why?"

"Because you obviously don't feel the same and the silence is kind of awkward."

"Why would you say that?" "If you felt that way, you would tell me."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not that I don't have feelings for you, I just don't know how to say it."

"Then show me." Soul gently pressed his lips to mine and set my senses to overload.

I was glad that I had finally filled in the gaps of that memory. I understood what Soul was talking about. He loved me. He always had. He believed that everything that stemmed from that kiss was his fault. Soul's guilt threatened to tear us apart.

A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long. I was out of town and I started a new job. WOW, 61 reviews! You are all awesome. Thank you some much! I have a facebook page for my stories. You can post ideas, thoughts, comments, or even if you wanna chat with me. /DawneSharlotte.

The person that leaves the 100th review on this story and has a fanfiction account will get a 3-4 chapter story with the pairing and plot line of their choice. The contest is open until there are 100 reviews or the story is complete, whichever comes first.

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