I wake up from my nap several hours later. Maggie is no where to be seen, and by using my wolf hearing I can tell she isn't in her room. I assume she is probably in her office, but after looking around my room I notice she hasn't left a note. That's odd, Maggie knows how nervous I get when left alone. She usually would have let me know where she has gone...
I immediately reach out for Brian, as if it were second nature. Technically it was. Wolves desire the closeness of one another, especially from their mate. I scold myself for being so needy, and for not just texting Maggie in the first place. Nonetheless, that doesn't stop my heart from leaping with joy as he responds.
"Yes, prințesa lupului meu(my wolf princess)?" He answers. Worry laces his voice, but I can tell he is pleased that I contacted him using our bond.
"Do you know where Maggie is?" I ask, my words shaking in my head as if I were saying them aloud.
"No, why? Is everything alright?"
I hesitate, and that is all the incentive he needs.
"I'm on my way to you room, stay put."
"No, that's not necessary. I just was wondering." I quickly send back, though he can easily sense that there is more to it than that. I curse myself for not hiding the fact that his eagerness to come see me was soothing my wolf, but don't press the matter any further when he says,
"Don't lie to me. I'm almost there." He isn't using his power over me by any means, but his dominance is making my wolf want to submit. We are anxious, afraid, and want nothing more than to have our mate next to us.
Maybe fifteen seconds later the door opens and I jump, startled. Brian's eyes quickly scan the room until he sees me lying on my bed, still bundled under the blankets that Maggie covered me with before she left.
His eyes glow as he approaches me, and I find myself focusing on my shaking hands.
"Prințesa lupului meu, what's wrong? Has someone hurt you? Talk to me, my mate, what can I do?" His voice is soothing, and his eyes never leave mine as he gently crawls beside me and holds me, caressing my hair as he waits for my answer.
I've never had a boy in my bed before, and I am surprised at how unbothered I am by his presence. His chest rumbles with pleasure, and I assume he just heard my inner dialogue.
"Prințesa?" He nudges through the bond.
I sigh, and allow myself to lean against him, with no doubt that my eyes are glowing. His most certainly are.
"Maggie just didn't tell me she was leaving, that's all. She usually does." I sniff and not so discreetly take in his scent, despite my best efforts. He smells like hot chocolate, the really good kind you'd drink snuggled up by the fire in a cabin during wintertime, with just a touch of cinnamon. This does nothing to combat the uneven pace of my breathing, however.
He continues to stroke my hair, while pressing the gentlest kiss on my forehead. "I'm sure she just didn't want to wake you, " He coos, never letting go of me. I have to admit, though, this whole not being able to control your breathing around your mate is actually pretty hot.
I shake my head, "She always wakes me up, or writes me a note and leaves it where it's the first thing I'll see when I wake up. She didn't this time. You don't think something's happened to her, do you?" I ask worriedly. I couldn't live if something happened to my best friend. Sister was probably a much more accurate term- there has never been a day where we have been separated, not as far back as I can remember.
"Would you like for me to go look for her?" Brian asks, his eyes full of concern. My heart is touched. I would have thought he would assume I was needy and clingy, and be a bit annoyed out at my emotions. Instead, he is nothing but understanding, and his desire to make me happy is palpable.
"I will always strive to make you nothing less than happy, and if I should ever fail, I will not stop until I have made it right. I will always do my best to love you, to serve you, and to protect you."
Tears are brimming in the corners of my eyes. Great Luna, why am I so emotional? I know where my fear of being alone comes from... I shiver as I remember the worst day of my life. I make sure this part of my mind is completely blocked from Brian, though, so he won't get even the slightest glimpse. How is it he knows exactly what to say, exactly what I needed to hear?
"I am made for you, as you are for me." Brian answers out loud, sensing my thoughts. When I don't respond, lost in thought, he speaks again.
"Meredith? Can you please answer me?" I manage to stifle a weak laugh, a vague attempt to lighten the mood. I will be okay. That night would never happen again, it just surely couldn't. Nothing that traumatic could happen twice in one person's lifetime.
"I'm sorry." I respond quietly. "Yes, I'd like to find Maggie, but I want to search for her with you. We should try her office first." I stand up and try to brush the wrinkles out of my t-shirt, with no success.
Brian gazes at me for a moment longer, probably to see if I am really okay-which I'm not, but he doesn't need to know that- before he stands beside me. I slip on my black converse before we leave my room, and allow him to guide me with his hand softly pressed against the lower part of my back. I am by no means going to let him boss me around, ever, but this act is clearly meant more to be of comfort to me. It is to let me know that he is here for me, and that he will protect me.
I have to choke back some tears when I realize this, because it makes me want to weep for all the pain I am causing him. I want to accept him fully and complete the bond, though I know I can't. Completing the bond would allow him full access to my thoughts and memories, and there are certain ones that I will hide from him until the end of time.
He doesn't speak as we walk across the mansion to Maggie's office, but still continues to send me waves of comfort, his touch calming my frantic wolf. Upon reaching the room, I try to open the door but quickly realize it is locked. I hear giggles, obviously coming from Maggie, but also the deep chuckle of a man. One man in particular, that I happened to have trained with earlier this morning.
Brian looks at me, puzzled just as much as I as to why Maggie and Dillan would be spending time together behind locked doors. He knows just as well as I that gypsy healers aren't the kind to mess around. Maggie would never do such a thing, but Dillan...Dillan was a male, and a very attractive one at that.
I growl defensively, if he is doing anything inappropriate to her behind that door I will make sure David is picking a new Beta before the next dawn.
I pound on the door with my fist and the sounds immediately stop, almost as if two children have just been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Footsteps approach the door and the cautious turn of the door knob confirms my thoughts.
As Maggie opened the door and realizes who we are, she instantly breathes a heavy sigh of relief and smiles. "Hey, Meredith! You scared me there."
Did I now? Brian rubs light circles on my back, which should have pissed me off since I'm trying to avoid the whole relationship. Even so, right now it is exactly what I need to refrain from spitting hell fire at my best friend. Though he tried to be discreet, Brian's little gesture didn't go unnoticed by Maggie. Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth, nodoubtedly to squeal that I have decided to bond with Brian.
Brian opens his mouth to respond before Maggie has the opportunity. "We were just checking to make sure you were alright. Meredith was worried that something may have happened to you when she woke up and saw you were gone."His tone only holds the slightest bit of accusation, but he's upset that I'm upset. It is evident when the flash of confusion, then realization, hits Maggie's face she hadn't done this on purpose.
"Oh Meredith I'm so sorry! Caroline came by, and we hung out with Dillan, and then she had to go somewhere so we came up here. I completely forgot to leave you a note." The guilt that fills her eyes is all I need to forgive her. There is lots of change going on right now, lots of stress. It was natural for her to forget something like that, or at least that's what I'm telling myself.
I shake my head and smile. "No worries, I'll head back now. I'm getting hungry, want to go get dinner together?" I ask her.
Yet again more guilt crosses her face."I actually just ate dinner, with Dillan..." She mumbles, and my heart sinks. I try to shake it off, but Brian's obvious concern tells me that my hurt is prominent on my face."I can come back now-" Maggie starts, but I stop her with another shake of my head.
"No, don't worry about it. Really, I'm not even hungry to be honest." I force a smile, one that Maggie would have normally caught as a sign I was upset, but for some reason didn't.
"Are you sure?" She asks hopefully. No, I think, but I would never tell you that. "Of course." I reply. "We're just gonna head back now." Without another word, I grab Brian's arm and turn to go. I can tell Maggie wants to say something else, but we speed away before she has the chance.
As soon as we are out of earshot of any wolf hearing, Brian stops in his tracks and turns my body toward his."You're not okay." He states, the concern in his voice thick.I shake my head and turn to continue walking back to my room. I don't know why I am surprised, I mean I should have expected it. He follows me and I smile- at least someone wants to spend time with me.
"Are you hungry? I can go grab you something then bring it back, if you don't feel like being around a bunch of people right now." Brian says as we arrive.
I have learned that the pack usually ate together at meals, though I haven't yet been to one. Guilt washes over me. They are suppose to be my family and here I am already isolating myself from everyone. Then again I really don't feel like speaking to people after what just happened...My stomach growls and he smiles at me before heading off to the kitchen. It's actually quite sweet of him, and for some reason that small act melts away some of the hurt Maggie had caused.
I walk into my room and look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are still red from my little panic attack earlier, and my hair is an unruly mess. I shake my head and throw it into a ponytail. I wish I would've showered earlier, before my nap. I glance at the clock and decide to get one now, despite the fact that Brian will be back shortly. I could take a quick one, I decide. I hop into the shower and let the warm water wash all the stress away. I decide against shaving my legs—they weren't too bad and I didn't have time anyway. I hurriedly wash my hair and body, and less than ten minutes later I'm out.I towel dry my hair the best I can and decided to leave it down, but stick a black headband in to keep it out of my face. I throw on a loose tank top with some black yoga pants, and at last minute decided to put a sweatshirt on too.
I walk out of the bathroom the very minute Brian walks in. His face instantly breaks out in a smile, and I deliberately look away to hide my blush. I'm embarrassed of my actions from earlier-the way I gave in to him so easily. I need to figure out a way to keep my emotions in check, or my plan will be ruined. As we look into each other's eyes, I decide to do something bold- or least, bold for me. I want Brian to touch my marks again, but I don't want to just flat out ask him. I'm sure he will been more than willing to if I do, but I don't want him to know how much he was affecting me.
I quickly decide to take of my sweatshirt. Simple enough, he will probably just think I'm getting hot, but then he will to see my marks around my tank top, and maybe he'll touch them without my having to ask. I plop myself down on my bed and slowly, yet nonchalantly, slip the clothing over my head. I take the time to fold it neatly, fully aware of his burning stare. I look up and see his beautiful, sapphire blue eyes glowing with desire—literally. I nervously gulp and lie down on my stomach, head resting on my crossed arms. I glance at Brian, who has now moved beside me and is proping himself up on his elbow where he can see my back.
"Prințesa?" I hear his voice in my head through the mate bond.
I close my eyes. "Yes?" I send back.
"I see my marks."
"Do you?"
"Indeed. They look beautiful on your skin. You know I'm the only one other than yourself who is suppose to this?"
I hear him growling out loud at the thought of another male seeing my markings.
"Or so I've heard," I reply.
He doesn't say anything, but just continues to only look at them, much to my disappointment. Finally, I decide to take action.
"Y-You can touch them. The markings. I mean, if you want. You certainly don't have to if yo-"
My words stop the moment I feel his hand. I close my eyes and wonder how I could possibly ever get tired of this. His hands gently trace the intricate design, and it leaves tingling sensation behind.
"Meredith, are you doing that on purpose?" His voice as he speaks out loud this time is smooth and sultry, though his question confuses me. Oh crap, I think, he's realized that I did this on purpose.
"What am I doing?" I say hesitantly.
"You're biting your lip. It's very sexy." He smirks.
Heat immediately rises to my face and I rush to cover my it in embarrassment. I peek at him through my fingers and see him grinning at my discomfort.
"No," I manage to mumble. He cocks an eyebrow and chuckles. Now he things I'm trying to come on to him, great. I'll have to distance myself even more to make up for it. To my dismay, he stops rubbing my markings and sits up on the bed. Stop it, I tell myself. I need to make sure I keep the physical contact to a minimum, otherwise it's going to be even harder when I say goodbye to him for good. I inwardly sigh in disappointment and push myself up next to him, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin on my knees.
"I didn't do that on purpose." I say again.
"I know. That just makes the whole thing even better."
"What do you mean?" I nonchalantly examine my fingernails, the chipped white nail polish would certainly need a fresh coat soon.
"It just goes to show that you are indeed quite smitten with me," he grins and begins to set out the food in front of us. I smell spaghetti with meatballs and my mouth waters.
"Pff, whatever." I scoff. "I can barely tolerate you as is."
He smirks but says nothing as he continues to set up our dinner. While he does so I decide to really look at him for the first time. I knew he was undeniably attractive from the moment I laid my eyes on him, but I haven't allowed myself to really observe him yet.
His hair, dark brown with lighter highlights throughout, is naturally styled in long waves that stop a inch or two above his shoulder. His skin is lightly tanned, but still more so on the pale side compared to myself. He has a tiny scar that lies just above his right eyebrow, and I firmly resist the urge to touch it. I see his Marks peeping above the neckline of his shirt, and I fight yet another primal urge to touch what is rightfully mine. His lips, full but not overly large, are soft and pink and oh so kissable. I inwardly scold myself for that last thought, and I'm immensely grateful that he is respecting the boundaries and not prying into my thoughts. Surely it can't do too much harm to appreciate his beauty—and he certainly is the epitome of perfection.
We manage to make occasional small talk throughout the meal, but are surprisingly content to just bask in one another's presence. It's a very serene and calming feeling, just being near him. Safe, I realize, I feel safe when he's around. Like he would never allow any harm to come to me.
After we finish eating I search through a vast selection of films, all in Romanian, before picking one at random making sure the subtitles are on as it plays. He sits beside me and explains certain references when necessary. I eventually crawl under the blankets, and at some point shortly after Brian begins to lightly caress my arms and back. It doesn't take long before I'm practically asleep. The movie ends and I hear the click of the remote as he shuts the TV off. I feel his eyes gazing upon me fondly as he thinks he is watching me sleep, and I contemplate saying something, but a few moments later he bends down and places the gentlest kiss on my forehead. He murmurs something that my brain can't quite make out through the fog of exhaustion. The simple gesture leaves me feeling adored, and nearly brings tears to my eyes. As I hear his footsteps fade and the door close, I think to myself that I could get use to this.
What a shame it is, however, that I can't.
It's literally been almost a year since I've posted an update for this fic. I have a tendency to skip chapters and write out of order whenever I get writer's block, so I've got several chapters finished, but I was at a stand still for this particular chapter for a little while. That, and a combination of college and ballet have made it difficult to continue this work, but I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, commented, subscribed, or messaged me personally telling me how much you love it and encouraging me to finish it. That means a lot more to me than you will ever know, and is super motivating. Anyways, here's a back to back chapter update and maybe I'll be able to get some more up before long!
*Also, just for reference, I picture Brian as a very similar version to Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of the Sith!