Even when she was dirt poor, living in a dilapidated apartment on the bad side of town, Alex couldn't remember a Christmas when she was as miserable as the one that had just passed. Her teaching gig at Gateway had ended as did her grad school class for the semester, so she was left with a hell of a lot of time on her hands, which meant thinking about her underage, one-time lover at every turn.

She'd found out through text messaging that Piper was admitted Early Decision to Smith, and that her parents were whisking her and her younger brother away to a remote island in the South Pacific for Winter break. Alex knew that was a good thing, because if Piper was in town, living just 10 minutes away, there's no telling what would have happened between the two.

By the second week of January, Alex was finally busy enough to not allow her thoughts to drift to Piper every hour. She'd enrolled in four grad school classes and had gotten a job as a teaching assistant at Columbia. The money that she'd made as a substitute teacher allowed her to pay tuition without issue, and she had a little spending money left over that she invested for the future. Her next step was getting an apartment in Manhattan, but rent was too steep at the time.

Alex and Piper had agreed, much to the blonde's disappointment and protests, that they would only communicate once a week unless one of them needed something significant or had something important to share. The dark haired woman could not count the number of times she looked at her phone each day to see if Piper had texted her even though she had to be fortunate that she hadn't. She was impressed by the younger girl's willpower and thanked God that she hadn't caved either. It would've been so easy.

If pressed to admit it, Alex was jealous of her own mother—jealous that she got to see Piper Chapman every single day in the lunch line at school. The younger Vause often asked her mom how Piper was doing, but she only heard surface level, "She's fine," responses from Diane. She knew that her mom was trying to protect her from a broken heart, but the two women never openly discussed it.

"Hey, Al," her mom called from the kitchen one dreary, late January morning, "You wanna go to a fancy dinner with me?"

The brunette came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her hair. "A fancy dinner?"

"Yeah, I won the raffle at school," she announced with pride. "Got a $100 gift certificate to Anthony's."

"That is fancy," Alex admitted with a smile. "What kind of raffle was it?"

"The student government kids were raising money for one cause or another, and I gave 'em $10," she replied. "Piper was the one who told me I'd won."

Alex stopped in her tracks. "Piper?"

Diane nodded. "It was so cute. She threw her arms around my neck and squealed."

She gave her mom the best smile she could muster, but her heart sank at her mother being the recipient of Piper's embrace instead of her. Enough time had passed between their makeout session in the car and now that Alex had all but forgotten what it felt like to be swathed in Piper's arms.

"Al, there's something I need to tell you." She walked over to her daughter and put a hand on her arm. "Something I've been keeping from you."

"You're scaring me, mom. What is it?" Alex's brows creased.

"There's nothing to be scared about," she began. "Why don't we sit down?"

"I don't want to sit," Alex said as she backed away. "What is it?"

"You know that I see Piper at lunch every day." Diane looked at her feet before proceeding. "For the past month, she's given me letters to give to you, and I haven't given you any of them."

The brunette's eyebrows shot up. "You've kept Piper's letters from me?"

"You gotta understand, kid," she began. "I've been so afraid for you and Piper—that something…illegal…would happen, and I don't want you to end up in jail."

"First of all, I'm a fucking adult and can control my actions." Alex took a step back and pointed at her mom. "And second, who are you to withhold anything from me, no matter who it's from?"

"I realize that…"

"No, you clearly don't," the brunette interrupted. "You had no right to keep those letters from me, mom! Where are they?"

"Before I get them, I need you to hear me out." She had a pained look on her face. "I realized at Thanksgiving that you were in love with her, Al. And that she was in love with you. You have no idea what it's like to watch your baby girl fall in love," Diane's voice quivered. "And to know that she can't be with the person she loves because of some fucked up law that says so."

Alex looked away and swallowed hard, partly embarrassed that her mom could read what was in her heart and partly pissed that she couldn't hide her feelings for Piper very well.

"She asks about you all the time, ya know." She tilted her head. "And I told her yesterday that I withheld her letters from you."

She regarded her mother. "Was she as angry as I am?"

"She was upset at first, just like you," Diane began, taking a deep breath. "But she understood why I did what I did. She only asked me to promise that I'd give you the envelopes today."

The younger Vause turned away and gazed out the window. After a moment, she finally spoke. "Do you think I'm fucked up for being in love with a senior in high school? I mean, am I some kind of sick-o?"

"God no, kid." Diane stood next to her daughter. "Piper isn't your average teenager. She's wise beyond her years, and she doesn't pull stupid shit like you used to pull in high school."

That statement caused Alex to smile faintly.

"We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. Believe me I know." She rubbed her daughter's back. "But we can choose how we react."

Alex turned to her left and hugged her mom tightly. She felt her mom kiss her temple and rub her back in big, calming circles.

"Letting her go was the hardest fucking thing I've ever had to do, mom." She squeezed her eyes shut so that tears wouldn't fall. It was a fruitless attempt—tears streamed down her cheeks as her mother held her closer.

"I know, hon. I know."

After a couple of minutes, Diane pulled back and wiped her daughter's tear stained cheeks. "You have a hell of a lot more willpower than I ever did."

Alex let out a wet huff. "Well, I can't get her pregnant at 17 like dad did to you."

That earned her a playful slap. "Thank God for that!"

The two women enjoyed laughing if only for a minute.

"I'm going to get those letters, and leave you alone." She hugged her daughter once more before heading to her bedroom. "I've got some errands to run, so I'll be back in a couple of hours."

Alex took the towel off her head and rubbed her face. She sat on the sofa and waited for her mother to return.

Diane handed her a stack of mail secured with a rubber band. "Call if you need me."

She nodded and accepted the four or five envelopes. "Ok."

Once her mom was in the car, Alex sat back down on the sofa and took a deep breath before opening the first envelope. Inside was a handmade Christmas card with a poem written in calligraphy. Alex smiled at the thoughtfulness that Piper had put into the card.

She opened the second envelope, a pink one, and pulled out another handmade card:

Since December 17,
all I can think about
is when we can be together.
I want to see your smile
and hear your laughter.
I want to kiss away
the past
and hold you
until you know
without a doubt
that this is for real...

Love,

Piper

She held the card over her heart and dove into the next one. A piece of loose leaf paper fell out of a standard, white envelope.

Dear Alex,

I'm in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a private, pristine beach where I should have no care in the world. An Adonis-like man just brought me a virgin Pina colada, yet all I can think about is you, with your long, black hair and those glasses. You remind me of the female version of Clark Kent. Do you own a cape?

When I close my eyes, I think about our first kiss through the window of your car. It brings a smile to my face and butterflies to my belly. Then I think about how my legs cramped up, and I was worried I'd get a Charley horse. It brings laughter and joy to my soul!

I know I'm 'just a kid,' but I hope you've come to realize that I'm more mature than most students my age. I know what I feel for you, and for the first time in my life, I've experienced love. I want more.

And more.

And more.

I'm sad at the thought of not being able to express my love to you for another six months, but I understand the consequences of a foolish act. Until then…

Piper

Alex raised her glasses to the top of her head and wiped her damp eyes. How was she lucky enough to be in love with someone so rational?

She opened the final envelope, which was another letter expressing Piper's love, but this one ended by saying that it was better if they didn't text or talk—she couldn't handle the lack of physical proximity.

Alex had a choice to make: respect the blonde's wishes by not contacting her or betraying her desire by letting her know that she finally received her letters. It had been three weeks since they'd exchanged texts, so the brunette figured enough time had passed to deem it safe for contact.

Alex: Just read your letters. Touched.

When she didn't hear from Piper after 15 minutes had passed, she decided to blow dry her hair and get dressed. Although she had no place to be until dinner that evening, she could always fill her time with reading and writing for grad school.

Piper: Glad to hear it. And you will be…touched, that is, in 5 months.

Alex: Looking forward to it.

Piper: Gotta go—getting ready for winter ball.

The brunette heard a chime, indicating that there was a picture attached to the text. She opened it and saw a photo of Piper wearing a towel around her chest and her hair in rollers. She smiled and wished she could see the girl in the flesh. She began typing, "Who is your date?" but quickly erased the words on the screen. She'd always lived by the phrase: Don't ask questions when you fear the answer. Instead, she typed, Have fun, kid.

Author's Note: There will be a total of 14 chapters. Thanks for the reviews so far. Please keep them coming.