All at once, his body tensed up, air painfully filled his lungs, as if unused to the feeling, and his eyes flew open. However, he didn't move otherwise, staring directly up into the deep crimson of his husband, who appeared to be on the floor with him.

Matthew flushed softly as his words failed him, and they sat in silence, Gilbert towering over his frame, as either hand was beside his head, and the other man stradled his hips.

Gilbert seemed to be searching for words, or an explanation of some sort, as he stared down at the other. Under the heavy gaze, Matthew's face darkened further, and he let out a soft squeak.

At the noise of the other, Gilbert relaxed a little. "So.. you're not my imagination.." He mumbled.

"I zhought you vere just my imagination playing tricks on me.."

"W-why.. would I be your imagination.." Matthew softly replied. Gilbert still hadn't looked away, and he felt vulnerable under his gaze.

"...You look so cute when you sleep, did you know that.." Gilbert smiled, leaning down to give him a soft kiss before Matthew could cover his face with embarassment.

"Why would you say that?!" he squeaked when he could, looking up at the other. Gilbert went quiet again.

"...I couldn't tell.. if you were real or not when I woke up. A... a part of me thought that... you weren't. and I was scared to find out if it was right." He looked off for a moment, before leaning down, placing his head to the floor below, next to Matthew's.

"I'm so glad I was wrong.." he whispered.

Matthew's blush faded as he felt his heart pound. There were times when Gilbert was so sweet.. and other times when Matthew didn't want to be seen standing next to him. Yet he was his husband, and nothing could change that.

He chose to marry this man... And everything that came with him.

Matthew smiled a little, throwing his arms around Gilbert above him, and giving him a soft hug. "I will protect you from your dreams.." he whispered to the other, nuzzling against the side of his head. He was curious what the next nightmare would be, but not he noticed the first two, it was easier to help him through it.

Gil lifted his head. "...What do you mean?"

"Nobody has to hurt you anymore."

He sat up more, leaning on his arms again. "...Nobody has hurt me for a long time.. You don't have to worry about that."

They both grew quiet, staring at each other. He almost gave away his dream hopping.. what would Gil think... Matthew bit his lip softly.

The silence was broken by Gilbert's phone ringing elsewhere in the home. He has different ringtones for all their friends, but his brother's was quite strange. A German band with angry sounding lyrics...

Gilbert let out a soft sigh as he begrudgingly stood off Matthew, making his way to the phone. When Matthew finally sat up, he noticed the room was dark. Was it still night? They'd fallen asleep during the day, so it would make sense, especially with how little sleep Gilbert had been getting. Softly, he heard the German Gil spoke to his brother in, though he couldn't make out anything. One of the downsides of not knowing a language.. when your partner speaks it, you can't tell what they said.

The phone call didn't last long and Gil returned, looking paler than before.

"...Gil?" he asked, noticing Gilbert walking toward the couch, to sit down rather harshly. His mind was elsewhere it seems, and he was completely ignorant to the outside.

"...have the days really gone by so quickly?" he muttered to himself. Matthew tilted his head a little, hearing Gil's words, before he looked to the calender on the wall.

No matter how many he bought, there was always something that stayed the same. Each time the month of Novemeber rolled around, Gilbert would throw a knife into the ninth of the month. He never quite knew why, but whenever the day would come around, Gil would be gone the entire day, and he wouldn't return until the next day. Sometimes, even the day after.

Once he asked Gil what was so special about this day, but as usual, he would say nothing.

He would stand there in his Prussian blue, ornately decorated uniform, complete with white gloves, and hat, and merely mention that today would be the day he spends with his brother.

Though whenever he returned, be it the next day or the day after, he would break down, hugging his husband as tightly as he could, which would often render Matthew immobile and gasping for air. He would always smell of alcohol..

Matthew held out a hand to Gilbert, putting it on his husband's knee. "...It's the ninth, isn't it?"

Gilbert's silence could only prove him right. He buried his head in his hands. "..I can't... deal with it this time. I don't want to... It's too much." he mumbled.

What exactly was so important about the ninth of Novemeber! Everyone he asked would always avoid the question. Arthur, Francis, Kiku, even Ludwig. Everyone..

"Don't worry...I'll be here when you get back, like I always am, okay?"

The way Gilbert looked at him made his heart sink and he held his breath.

This was a look he'd never seen before. A look of pure despair. He looked lost before, but this was... deeper than that.

Apparently, the Ninth of Novemeber was a big deal.

"Wh-when do you have to leave?" He asked, breaking the silence, and making Gil look away.

"My brother wants me there as soon as possible. There's much to plan this time around." Matt looked off for a moment, before crawling forward, putting his head in the other's lap.

"I understand.." he mumbled. Gilbert lowered one hand, lightly stroking the other's hair in a soft petting motion. Matt closed his eyes and smiled gently. It was always nice to recieving pets from his husband..he always seemed to know just what felt good.

When the petting stopped, Matthew lifted his head and gaze to find his husband staring up at the ceiling. The other was being annoying quiet, and the heatbeat Matthew could hear in his ears wasn't helping the situation.

He exhaled softly to break the silence. "...Why don't you go ahead and shower and I'll get everything ready for you.. okay?"

The only response he got from the albino let let him know if he heard him, was a simple nod. He slowly stood, and Matthew rose with him, a hand firmly grasping the other's. Before the Canadian let the other go, he pulled him in for a tight hug, which only seemed to get tighter as Gil remained quiet.

"I'm here for you.." Matthew whispered, his blue-violet eyes falling closed as he rested his head on the albino's shoulder. Gil put a soft kiss against his head, before pulling his head back, and giving his lips the same soft kiss.

The blond blushed softly, but pushed needily into the other's kiss, perfectly aware, and yet completely ignorant, of the other's hands on his body. Somehow, they'd let go of each other's hands, arms embracing their bodies tightly, making the kiss deeper.

Matthew felt his head float away, his mind lost in the clouds of his emotions. His heart pounded against his chest and his blush gave away how quickly his blood was racing. He felt the soft tingle of Gilbert's fingers tunneling themselves into his hair and he willingly obeyed when his head was tilted backward at the force of the other. He felt a strange loneliness when the kiss was broken, but the feeling returned when he felt the albino's soft lips on the nape of his neck.

He let out a soft, audible exhale as his arms tightened around the other's shoulders, his own fingers pulling a little on Gilbert's hair. His mind was lost in the raw emotion he was feeling and he loved every tingling sensation Gilbert coursed through him.

The albino pulled away from him all too soon, and he was forced back to reality when he felt his love's embrace slip away. He let his eyes open, bashfully adjusting his glasses as the other male left the room quckly. He watched carefully as Gilbert hunched his body over, one hand ruffling his hair in annoyance as he left the room.

Softly Matthew sighed, looking over to the clock as it flashed the bright red lights in sequence of the lines that would make numbers. 5:35

"AM, no doubt." he exhaled loudly. He would miss those gentle touches when Gil was gone.

"Liebe?!" Gilbert shouted from down the hall. Matthew squeaked, putting a hand to his mouth. Not birdie, not even his new maple bird. Not his name... but Liebe. Liebe... the German word for love. What made it important enough to forgo every other possible petname, and skip straight to love?

"Y-yes?!" Matthew shouted back, taking steps toward the source of the voice. Gilbert didn't answer, but there was a sound of breaking glass to break the silence, and his steps grew quicker against the hard wood floors, until he slid to a halt outside the bathroom.

"Gilbert, are you okay?!"

"Heey West, what's up little bro?" He listened to Ludwig talk on the other end of the cell, and his smile imediately faded. "You're serious.." he mumbled, leaning against the counter, his eyes downcast. "Ja...ja I know-.. It... Are you sure... I don't-...ja...ja fine..but I-...but Ludi, I-... no it's not like that, I just... No, he's perfect. Nothing's wrong, Nevermind, I'll be there soon...ja..ja, ich liebe dich auch, Bruder." He hung up the phone and went into silence.

He let his head fall backward as he stared up at the ceiling. It can't be.. but it was. He knew deep in his heart, and by the aching feeling in his gut that it was. Today... was the end of the worst time of his life. He should be happy, but everytime this time of the year came along, all he felt was pain. He knew his brother felt it too, which is why they tried so hard to spend this day, and perhaps the next, together. Now he was with Matthew, he didn't see his brother as often as he used to.

He put a hand on his stomach as he took heavy steps toward the living room, where Matthew still sat on the ground, waiting patiently for his husband to return. Heavily, he sat against the couch, his hands against his face. It couldn't be... Not only was he experiencing the worst feelings ever by not being able to sleep, he had go through this.

"...have the days really gone by so quickly..." he mumbled to himself, unaware of Matthew moving closer until the other physically touched him. He lifted his head from his hands to stare at the Canadian. Matthew, who had been so loving to him despite his appearance. Despite how he acted, the other loved him with every ounce of his being. He could see that whenever he would smile, and whenever he saw the beautiful eyes glow with love.

His eyes.. so beautiful, his eyes. Gil could just stare at them for hours on end, and feel completely lost. Much like he did when he woke up to find Matthew asleep next to him on the floor. Why his other chose to sleep on the floor, he'd never know, but apparently in his curousity, he had woken up Matthew, and done exactly as he said he would. He got lost in the other's eyes. The shy Canadian had captured his heart so early but he didn't show it much.

"It's the ninth, isn't it.." Matthew muttered. Gilbert felt his heart leap to his throat and he gave a hard swallow, trying to rid himself of the feeling. Every year he would avoid the question. How exactly could he tell the source of his light, of his happiness, that the Ninth of November was the worst point in his history for him. It was supposed to be a good day, as it was the day he was reunited with his brother, but everything that had lead to that point, everything he'd done and felt up to that point, only made the day worse.

He remembered feeling overwhelming happiness the moment he saw his brother again, against the crumbling concrete.. but looking back on that day, he was only ever reminded of the days leading up to it.

"...I can't.. deal with it. Not this time... it's.. too much." he said softly, his body shaking a little. Perhaps if he was in the right state of mind.. perhaps if he'd gotten more sleep this past week, it wouldn't be so difficult. He wanted nothing more than to just stay home this time. The ceremony didn't need him, right?

"Don't worry, I'll be here when you get back, like I always am." his husband reassured him. Gilbert exhaled a little, going quiet. Of course.. Matthew was always here, worrying his cute little behind off when it came to his wellbeing. It didn't help at all when Gil would return from spending the day with his brother, completely hammered, and cry into the other. He would cry and confess everything, year after year, but it would always be in German. He never taught much to Matthew, only the important things, so when he went off on a German tangent like that, Matthew could only hold him and comfort him in both English and French.

That French.. the way Matthew said everything was so beautiful. He lifted his head to look at Matthew, finding out the other was staring at him as well. There were those eyes again. His wonderful way of speaking the foreign language was so beaufitul. He heard French constantly from Francis and could kind of make out what he would say. Something bullshit about love. As it always was.

Gilbert never thought he would fall in love, especially with not someone as opposite himself. When Alfred was over one year, he'd brought his little brother Matthew with him, and the German was completely smitten to silence. Nobody seemed to notice the shy Canadian, as he noticed throughout the day. Not even his brother, but the other didn't seem to mind.

He adored the way Matthew would blush whenever he complimented him, and adored his smile that always followed it. With Matthew around, Gilbert wasn't such an annoyance to his brother, or the others, and in fact would talk the Canadian's ear off, but he didn't seem to mind. Even if he did, he never showed it. He would nod along to Gilbert's words, and add in a few facts and opinions himself. They would talk for hours.

Alfred was the first to notice them together, and he gave the other two of the imfamous Bad Touch Trio a nudge and point to them. "Never seen my little bro so open before. I think Gil could be good for him."He said to the two, who nodded in reply. Francis chuckled a little, making note of how Gil looked at the other.

"...How long do you have until you have to leave?" Matthew asked quietly, snapping Gilbert out of whatever thought he was in before he would look away. Damn if he wasn't beautiful.. Everything about the Canadian sent shivers through him.

Be here by ten, bruder. Don't be late.

"He said as soon as possible..There's much to plan this time." He sighed heavily, letting his head fall. Ludwig always did the planning, why was he needed this time. There wasn't exactly anything he could do anyway. All he ever did was talk, or simply stand there. He didn't exactly enjoy it...

The next thing he felt was a warm feeling in his lap, hearing the gentle sigh of his husband. Gil didn't quite hear what he said, but he smiled, letting his head lean against the back of the couch as he lightly ran his fingers through the other's hair. He heard the content sigh Matthew gave off, and it made him smile himself. The Canadian always had such soft hair, despite the blond locks falling to his shoulders. Must have gotten it from Francis.. or at least some tips.

The next few minutes went by painfully slowly as he let his mind wander again. He was unaware of Matthew speaking at all, but to go along with it, he simply nodded. Everything was so mechanical as he started planning out everything he possibly could in his head. Anything and everything that could happen today. From the moment he would step within eyesight of his brother, until he could finally return to his place of comfort that smelled of syrup. Warm syrup..

Before Matthew, Gilbert never knew of the diversity syrup could have upon the community of food. He would watch with curiosity as Matthew would add syrup to damn near everything he ate, or even drank. When Gilbert expressed interest in trying some of the sugar drizzled items, he would watch Matthew turn as red as his shirt, and would always squeak when Gil expressed his love for the sugary substance after trying it on the item, or in the drink. At one point, Gilbert started stealing off Matthew's plate when the Canadian was unaware. He truly craved the stuff.

He wasn't sure what made his affections deeper this time. Perhaps a longing for what he couldn't have after some time. He pulled Matthew closer, ignoring anything that came from his mouth that wasn't accompanied by that sweet, heart-melting smile. He wanted more of this precious gift.. he wanted to kiss every bit of his skin, cradle his head in his fingers, make his breath skip and his skin shiver. Gilbert wanted this man and he would stop at nothing to have him, moving his kisses elsewhere. The breathless sigh his blushing husband let out forced him back to reality.

Normally it would keep him soaring, but his brother's voice was in the back of his mind.

Don't be late.

He exhaled softly, pulling away from Matthew reluctantly as he made his way to the bathroom. Wasn't something said about a shower..?

When he entered the room, he stripped himself of his shirt quickly, folding it to set it asside. even in his exhausted stupor, his instincts to keep things neat were still as active as ever. He exhaled a little, staring into the mirror, at his reflection that stared back.

Crimson eyes met crimson as he looked himself over. There wasn't much to him. sure he was muscular, though his brother was moreso. His skin was pale and riddled with scars... his hair white in comparison to every other person he met... his eyes a dark red. Even in a world full of strange people with multi-coloured eyes, nobody had the red he had.

Nobody else was different.

Nobody was albino.

He started shakily a little as he noticed his reflection was smiling at him.. and poking the glass. You're different. How could anyone care?

It wasn't that hard to care, but how bad was being different?

Even your own brother is ashamed of you

Is he though? Today was their day to spend together.

"Liebe?!" Gilbert called, not waiting for Matthew to call back. his reflection was alarming as the smile widened to frightening proprtions.

Demon...

What..

Nobody could love a devil. Do you remember what they tried to do.. what they tried to tell you?

You're lying..

Impure. Devil!

The next thing he knew, his fist was in the glass of the mirror, sending shards scattering at his feet. His broken reflection stared at him with the shame angry, shocked, and scared expression he was currently showing.

"Gilbert! are you okay?!" He heard Matthew cry out. The Albino turned to face him, his hand dripping with blood and smaller shards of glass.

"...Nein, Matthew. I'm breaking."