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There is a segment of the chapter that contains content that may be M classification, so if you don't feel like reading it, skip it, there are pinpoints to let you know where this material begins and ends.

... Mature content


It was not awkward being alone with him, in fact it was rather soothing and it hit me that this could change anytime. He gave me a soft kiss in the lips, we weren't even dating, so I couldn't be angry, after all we are just trying to figure things out, and I somehow find myself exploring his wide back with my hands, he doesn't hesitate before deepening the kiss, his hands wander around my waist softly, while mine turn frenetic at his mere touch, we let go for an instance, holding each other's gaze, and I realize this is goodbye, he loosens his grip around me, but if I'm gonna let him go, I might as well enjoy our time together before moping around, so now I'm the one kissing him, he doesn't hesitate and lets me play with his hair, my heart starts racing when his gentle hands try to get rid of my t-shirt, so I start working on his trousers, that's when snaps out and backs away from me, his eyes filled with lust, probably as mine, cheeks pink from our make-out session, and I can notice his breathing faster than ever, nonetheless he holds my gaze doubtfully.
'Amanda, you're a gorgeous, beautiful woman. But I' his eyes wander through my body and when he meets my underwear he looks away blushing even more. 'I know we decided to give us a shot, but I don't think we should get so far so fast' he caressed my cheek gently. Okay, now this is all bullshit! I try to steady my breathing and sigh louder than I'd liked to.

... End of mature content.


'I know you like Tonks' it came out harsher than I intended, and I couldn't hide the hurt that seemed so evident in my voice. He looked speechless. 'She likes you too, and I know she's just the perfect fit for you, but I guess I just wanted to believe otherwise for as long as I could ' I didn't meet his eyes, but I felt him stiffen besides me.
'Mandy, you're beautiful, inside and out. But we are just too alike in so many ways, I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it turns exhausting, you are so focused on pushing people away' he looked defeated, and I knew he was being honest with me 'you're so very broken, that I don't think there's place for a relationship before you work things out. And then there's me, if it were just one of us this troubled things may work out, but we are both dealing with a lot right now, to really give our best in a relationship, it's just a miracle Sirius didn't flip out when I told him I fancied his daughter, but still there's a majestic age gap between us, and I'm sure whenever you're ready, you'll get yourself a fine young man' he smiled at me and took my hand 'you will do so much better than me Mandy'.

After I fixed my hair and my clothes, I hid the single tears on my cheeks and used a little bit of make up, Remus was downstairs now with dad, probably talking about our fiasco. I could almost hear their conversation, but I sure as hell know they're talking about our so called break up. Before they acted as the gossips I know they really are, I decided to join them.
'Hey there' I took an apple from the table and tried my best innocent smile. Dad shot a death glare at Remus and led me to his room. I had never really been there, I took my time to look around, there was not much, some pictures of him and his friends many years ago, he looked joyful, happy, and I felt a pang of sadness, he was barely a shade of who he used to be. There were lots of letters, they seemed recent, but before I could catch any glimpse at them, dad took my hand into his.
'You ok?' He said awkwardly, and I couldn't help to smile, he looked so uncomfortable.
'I'm alright, dad. But now is when you suggest kicking someone's ass' he looked down at me weighing his words.
'I'm sorry little one, but I'm afraid I can't kick Moony, you know with the full moon so close'
'Great Sirius Black is afraid of a single werewolf. None sense!' He let out a bark laugh and I smiled at the mere sight.
'So... Why did you guys break up whatever kind of relationship you had?' He seemed utterly curious, and I guessed Remus wouldn't share his reasons to my own dad, so I guess there was no harm done in giving him a brief summary, I took a long breath almost managing an expressionless face continued.
'It seems I'm quite broken, who knows? Maybe some day I'll find someone as broken as me and start a club... Yeah, I don't think so I'm not the kind of person to run a club, I'll let someone else run it, I'll have some free food I hope.' He gave me a funny look and realized I'd started blabbing 'he likes Tonks, apparently she's funny, she's nice, and with her he doesn't have to deal with someone else's $hit...'
'It's alright to be broken Mandy., we all are. Besides, who needs Moony when we have sweet dear...' I glared at him, knowing full well he meant to get drunk 'ice cream. I'll introduce you to the next most important men in your life' he waved his hand and summoned some ice cream I bought some days ago 'Amanda Lorraine Black, may I have the honor of introducing you to these fine gentlemen. My good friends Ben & Jerry at your disposition my lady' I laughed softly and silently hoped he didn't get drunk again, so I took my share of ice cream.
'I can't believe you're actually doing this'
'Why, I'm hurt!' He mocked me before giving me a soft hug 'it's my job, plus, this is already a hellhole, I wouldn't want you moping around, it's enough with me and Kreacher, I hereby forbid you joining the club of the damned' we were just there for each other for a while, and when I was sure I'd gathered enough strength, I looked him in the eyes
'Hum, there's this thing I can't seem to get out of my head,can I ask you something dad' I could feel my voice dropping down. He seemed confused and startled, but finally nodded 'Remus said you tried so very hard to take my custody, and I really didn't believe it, I mean what would mom possibly want me for, that she wanted to keep me with her, but she just hates your guts that now I think she just wanted to keep me from you, but that makes no sense at all! What could you have done to make her so wary of men, of you specially. Dad, what happened between you and mom?' I felt like a 5 year old, mostly because then I still asked about dad's absence and cry my eyes out when I met mom's dismissive shrugs. I looked up and saw him rather pale, I expected him to the same as mom, but much to my surprise he cleared his throat and seemed rather interested in his shoes.
'You need to understand those were pretty hard times, I'm not gonna make up excuses, because I know your mother dealt with a lot because of me, but please listen when I tell you that I love you, no matter what happened in the past, I've always wanted to have you with me, and I really am sorry for everything you've been through because of my mistakes' I gave him a soft and short hug 'we were engaged since little, I had nothing against her, but I didn't even know if I wanted a wife, let alone her! When I ran away from this hellhole, the engagement was off luckily, her parents weren't as crazy as mine, but they still didn't want to be on everyone's bad books, so they got her an Italian fiancé, things didn't work out between them and she was single once again, by then I'd already joined the order and we were all eager to have someone close to the death eaters on our side, you see, Dumbledore was almost positive your mom was close enough to the Malfoys, who was rumored to be a Death Eater, though without evidence we all knew he was.' He took a deep breath 'I was in good terms with your mom, and' he looked away 'well, Dumbledore suggested to get close with her, so a relationship started between us, she got pregnant, and by then I'd realized she was just close to Narcisa because of their school friendship, not because they shared blood purity nonsense. So I told her the truth, expecting we could remain friends... Well that didn't happen, and you know it. She had you hidden god knows where, and just like that I'd lost my baby girl to that old hag.' His eyes were furious, almost maniac, and if he wasn't my dad I I'd probably run away, but instead I took his hand into mine, offered him a true smile.
'I'm sorry for what they did to you' he now embraced me with all his strength 'Amanda, look me in the eyes' he pulled away slightly to look at me 'promise me you won't go back to them, your mother may be a little bit sane, but Apparently Snivellous let slip that you're helping the order, and I don't think they'll take it nicely' my face fell.

Thank you for reading this far, I know there's not much Remus/Amanda but even in later chapters there will still be something between them... What do you think so far? Let me know.