You know, the omake that I'm trying to do is coming along rrrreeeeeaaaaaalll slow. So I'll do that when I'm done with these series. Kay.
Disclaimer: don't own black lagoon.
"This is a terrible tragedy. The outside of the building is unrecognizable-"
It was interesting that if a building in Roanapua exploded it wouldn't get into the news like this. Every so often a building would explode but it wouldn't even get to be news like this. Only Yellow Flags, our favorite bar would be mentioned since it seems to be on fire and the news cast like to tally up how many times it needs to be renewed.
Dutch though took one look at outside the window.
"Chime, wake Rio and tell him to get his lazy ass up. We have a very important client coming soon."
"Why am I always his alarm clock?"
"He likes to cuddle with you, Ben and I get shot at."
"Hmph."
XXXXX
Opening his door, Chime winced at the state of the room. Even the smell of it. She tried to clean it once, after many cockroach bashings and throwing away unknown food substances from who knows when it was spacious and clean. It didn't last for even 10 minutes before it was in disarray again. But there he was, the bed sheets thrown off the bed and he was lying there clad in black boxers.
"It sure is a dirty room."
Chime knocked loudly.
"Rio, are you awake? We have a job. Dutch says it's an emergency."
Nothing. Getting nearer to his bed to open the blinds, an arm pulled her down onto the bed and she was being spooned…from the front…his head in her breast.
"How does he manage that? WAKE UP!"
She got to used to being in interesting positions to even be embarrassed about.
"Hmm? That you, Chime?"
Came the muffled reply.
"Yeah. It's a big last minute request. He told me to 'wake him the hell up' to put it mildly so I rushed down."
Reaching behind her she pulled the string for the blinds to let the sun in. Which only caused Rio to pull Chime closer, while also pressing his face even more into her chest to block out the sun.
"God dammit. The job… who from?"
Chime lit up a cigarette she pulled out from her breast pocket and lit it up. When she exhaled the smoke she blew it straight into his hair. This was one of the ways she could get him off of her. And as predicted, he slowly got up while taking the cigarette from her.
"Mr. Chan. From the triad."
XXXXXXX
It didn't take 5 minutes to get him ready, but Chime was adamant that he brushed his teeth before even getting out. Surprisingly he complied. When the walked in, Mr. Chan and his bodyguards were already there.
"We're always very friendly with Mr. Balalaika. Hey Two-Hands, Miss Chime.'
"Good morning Mr. Chan. Would you like coffee or tea?"
"Don't worry about that, darling. Dutch was just brewing some."
Rio went straight to the counter and took his breakfast which already went cold but he didn't care. He grunted and lifted his hand to acknowledge the man.
"Did I miss a lot?"
"Nope not at all." Mr. Chan's voice changed from playful to serious while putting a briefcase onto the table.
"We're about to start. This is the cause of everything. But that just shows it was worth it. I took this from a stupid Bulgarian who tried to make a quick buck in my territory. I don't recall giving permission to anyone but Yolanda from the Church of Violence to sell weapons. But these guys misunderstood. They were selling guns like they were hot shrimp from a stall. He misunderstood my warnings as a crazy joke. He finally understood and made a deal when it was time to crush his balls like nuts. "
Mr. Chan's tone became once again playful near the end of the sentence. Rio and Ben snickered while Dutch and the bodyguards had a subtle smirk on their faces.
"What an idiot." Mr. Chan began again.
"But it turns out he had an interesting job. He worked intelligence for Bulgaria. This city is comfortable place for folks like that too. Normally a guy like that is very useful, but… This time his playing with fire cost him. What he offered us, for the sake of his balls, was this, Dutch. Papers."
Dutch let out what could be deemed as an excited 'ooh'.
"The hiking charts for a certain amusing little group. The job they did right before us has been on TV all damn morning."
"What!? The US Embassy!"
Chime exclaimed.
"That's a dangerous one."
Dutch pointed out. Mr. Chan gave a small nod before he continued.
"Balls-boy's real job was with them. The world's full of folks who want Uncle Sam to disappear. I told one of those groups that they dropped something. But before they heard what it'd cost them, they told me to 'get the hell out of here before your as becomes roast.' And this is how I answered. All right, then I'll go elsewhere. Thanks o that, my offices flew all the way to Jordan. And, as predicted, my ass nearly became a roast before I got here. They're really no fun at all. So Dutch. This is the deal. I want you to deliver this. Five teams will leave Roanapua at the same time, with different destinations. There are five cases but only one bingo."
"A feint." Dutch was interested with this job. It had been a while since they had done something as fun as this.
"As insurance, of course. Your goal is the Filipino base on Basilan Island. The time limit is two days. Then my CIA contacts will leave Basilan."
"Two days is too soon. Mr. Chan."
"It's always too soon. This morning's embassy bombing was the beginning of a chain. In two days the next schedule starts. When they're done hiking there's going to be a new president. Uncle Sam came to me because their embassy blew up like the Apollo. A get-away driver we hired will deliver it to the base when you land. I'm counting on you, Dutch."
Nobody noticed that Rio went to the window and peeked through.
"Did you bring our pay here? And we're calculating expenses separately."
"I know-"
All of a sudden, Rio started moving away from the window. Subconsciously grabbed Chime around the waist with him while shouting RPG! After the explosion occurred, everyone inside could hear footstep coming up the stairs. Mr. Chan was already dusting himself off when he surface from what was left of the couch..
"My, my. They sure are quick."
"Boss! Are you safe?!"
"Your information's off, Mr. Chan. This job's cancelled."
"Are you going to quit? Then you're going to have to pay the repair bill for this. I'll at least escort you to the boat. But…"
Mr. Chan looked at one of his subordinates who immediately took out two guns from his jacket and passed them over to him.
"I haven't been on the field in a while. Where's you emergency exit?"
Rio, who just got up to a sitting position, pushed Chime to the side who was pinching his arm because he accidentally copped a feel on a more intimate anatomy. So he was eager to do something else rather than be constantly glared at.
"I'll lead the way, Chan."
"Thanks."
The two of them went in front of the door and with some invisible signal the simultaneously kicked the door down and started shooting at the men who wore green uniform and ski masks. As they left, Dutch handed over the briefcase to Chime who held it protectively to her chest. Dutch watched near the door until the coast was clear.
"Chan's cleared the way. Let's go."
"Ok, Let's go." Ben agreed while nudging Chime to get a move on. The bodyguards came with them too, as they would eliminate from the outside for Mr. Chan to come through. They ran past him by the staircase while he was shooting. Mr. Chan then shouted to Dutch.
"I'm sending a car. Go to the harbor with that."
Dutch grunted his acknowledgement.
"I'd like to do a job that doesn't risk my life sometime."
"Don't bitch, Dutch. We're about to do the hard part. Hurry."
"I'll leave it to you, Mr. Chan!"
Dutch said after he jumped over the rail of the emergency stairs to the ground, which was two stories high. Ben sighed.
"Such a pain in the ass."
Chime agreed as she tried her best to jump to the ground only to have stinging pain crawling up her legs to her head.
"When you get there don't forget the password. The password is-"
XXXXXXXXX
Everyone hurried into the boat and immediately Dutch navigated towards Basilan. But that didn't mean Chime had to spoil her lunch. If she wasn't wrong then she still had homemade mini hamburgers in the minifridge. Yup, everyone could get 3 each. So she passed plates around with the hamburgers on top. Rio and Dutch ate them quickly and handed the plates back, Ben took it with a smile and went into his paradise room. So Chime could finally sit down to eat peacefully. Rio then leant against the wall and started the conversation with Dutch.
"Did you hear the password? 'The Triad is super cool!' Boss Chan can handle himself and has great style, but when it comes to jokes…"
Dutch chuckled.
"Well, nobody's perfect."
Rio huffed and made his way over to Chime who had still another burger left and wanted to pick it off her plate but Chime knowing he would do this moved her plate away from him.
"The burger is going to go into your hips."
"No it won't. I have high metabolism, so if you don't mind I would like to eat this in peace."
"Give me that!"
"No!"
Rio chased after Chime who abandoned her rushing towards the deck as well as trying to eat her burger. Chime stopped right after she burst through at the deck, noticing the light from far away was reflecting of something metal. Rio who grabbed her around the waist noticed her gaze and looked too before narrowing his eyes. He whispered into her ear.
"We gotta tell Dutch."
Chime only nodded and was about to turn around when Rio's face was suddenly close to hers. He looked at her shocked expression with a smirk and went back down to the control room. Chime had to take a minute before she realized that Rio took a large bite and ripped most of the burger out of her mouth.
XXXXX
They waited to have a clearer view of the ship that was following them. Dutch wanted to see whether who they were dealing with. When night fell he came to a decision. Rio was on the top deck surveying them through the binoculars.
"We've got them, Dutch. The noisy little fly."
"Ok."
"Chime, bring me the Remington. And the Hydra API for ammo."
"Gotcha."
Being with them for so long, Rio took it upon himself to teach Chime how to at least load and fire a gun. He was surprised that she could learn everything quickly and efficiently and was even a good shot when they went to the middle of nowhere and shot at cans.
Chime then handed the Remington to Rio and went back to Dutch who had a plan for the next step. After Dutch heard the gunshots he started speaking.
"We've taken out the enemy's eyes, but that might not be it. Chime, we'll be bait and charge towards Basilan. I want you and Rio to get off at Zamboanga and use the Zodiac to get to Basilan."
"Got it."
Chime immediately went to the fridge and pulled out a small bento box with a few sandwiches for Rio. He would already be cranky with the long ride but she didn't need him to complain about being hungry as well. When that was done, she went to get the Zodiac and started to inflate it, but let Rio take over so she could go to the bathroom.
"Sorry to keep you waiting."
"Took your damn time."
"Whatever, Rio."
Rio went into the boat first with a jump. Chime with a little difficulty climbed over the rails and proceeded to jump only to be pulled down roughly. With a scowl, Chime went over and started the engine and steered away from torpedo boat.
XXXXXX
They finally managed to dock near a small village when the first light of morning came. Rio was already grumpy and hungry. Again.
"This is such a dinky-ass place. What time is it?"
"Nearly six. We took more time than expected to find a place to land. The village should be right ahead."
Rio only nodded and started walking. The village that they were in was completely empty. A few dogs and cats were left but that was it.
"It sure is quiet here."
"It's a human-less ghost village. There's been martial law here for the last two years. The police and the guerillas are shooting lead at each other day and night. The people here must have run away to a real city."
After walking a bit more, they heard an engine start and a jeep came out from one of the corners straight towards them. Chime clutched the briefcase to her chest while Rio pushed Chime behind him. The car stopped right beside them, they couldn't see inside as the windows were tinted. Rio aimed his gun at the window and kept it there until the driver window went down and a man in his forties greeted them with a smile.
"Did I keep you waiting? You're from Lagoon, right? I heard that there were four of you."
With that said, Rio flipped his gun back into his holster.
"And why should I answer that?"
"Hey now."
"Just me and her and a briefcase. That's it. I don't see your partner. Where's your guard?"
"He's running around looking for a bathroom. He doesn't know the difference between beer and Volvic."
"So let's cut to the chase. The Triad is-"
"What about them?"
Chime took a step back, not knowing where this was going. Rio wasn't amused.
"This isn't a time for jokes. If you fuck around I'll shoot you in the face."
"Now, now. Don't get hot. It was just a little joke to break the ice. The Triad is… super cool! Right?"
Chime exhaled a relieved sigh. For once, she thought, everything was going well.
"His sense of humor is a little screwy."
Although the man said the correct password, Chime noticed that Rio's demeanor wasn't relaxed. Even when he went to shake the man's hand.
"You think so too?"
"I didn't think it was that bad for Mr. Chan"
"Exactly, asshole. I have a message from the boss for you. 'I am Taishanfujun.' You don't know the meaning? It's the god of death and punishment here to bring down judgment. I don't know where you got the password but Boss Chan isn't an idiot or a fool. He prepared a new password for shitheads like you."
Chime took more steps back away from the car. She was scared but also got a little irritated when Rio took a small piece of paper that held the new password from his pocket. How dare he not tell her! She would have to remind him later how that was not fair.
"You hopped into this parade with your ass hanging out. What? Laugh. This is where you laugh. Laugh."
"I guess I got a little carried away. Getting handled like this by a little boy, pathetic."
There was a moment of silence before Rio started to shoot at the man.
"Chime, get back!"
There was no need to tell her twice as she started running full speed from the car. But she was no match when the car revved backwards and stopped her path. Immediately a masked man from the back seat immerged out and knocked Chime out with the butt of his gun. With that it was lights out.
XXXXXXXXX
When Chime was starting to regain consciousness, she felt like she was floating with a massive headache. Only when she recalled why she had the pain that she snapped her eyes open only to see a masked man carrying her. She did the first thing that came to her mind. She screamed bloody murder while thrusting her palm upwards to his chin. She quickly got out of his arms and started running only to be surrounded and have guns aimed at her.
"Welcome to our demilitarized zone. We saw what was inside the briefcase. It was empty."
"I don't know."
She actually really had no clue where the papers were. Only that Rio probably had a hand in that.
"And even it I did, I couldn't answer. You know that."
"An untwisted answer. At a time like this, you should at least crack a joke. Anyway, we have time. We'll ask you slowly."
When he turned away, someone tried to push her forwards but she slapped the hand away and moved at her own accord to one of the cabins. They sat her down on a stool, while the man that tried to pick them up sat himself in the opposite chair.
"So. Let's do this in Japanese, Little Miss. If you're going to get involved in this kind of stuff, you need to be a little more careful."
Silence.
"You're Japanese, right? Since when have you been doing this kind of job?"
More silence.
"I guess I can't get to you. You're going to keep quiet? It won't hurt for us orientals to be friendly to each other."
Glare.
"This is a problem."