Chapter 10: Pilot of The Normandy

The wailing of a thousand voices gripped at every nerve. Each individual screech worming it's way around my mind as the vision once again flashes before my eyes. Even as they open and I'm panting out the sensation of fear and anxiety, their screams still linger in the quietness of the room. I clutch my head with the false hope that if I clench hard enough, the cacophony of desperate pleas would fade away. Luckily, I'm not sure what did it, but things eventually return to the lull atmosphere of a sleeping Normandy.

Even with them gone, I remained in my bed, sitting upright as I take notice of my shaking hand. An effect that was becoming all too familiar lately. Despite the temperature being at a steady cool, it felt like I was in a sauna, slowly melting away. My clothes were damp from the sweating, as was my hair, which I was still holding on to for safety. There was one thing I could be grateful for—I didn't wet the bed this time. Though, placing my free hand on the mattress below me, it appears my sweating has also reached that as well, lightly moistening the bed sheets.

Damn. That one was just as intense as the last one. When I slept peacefully last night, I figured the visions would happen sporadically, but I was seriously hoping for a larger time gap. It's only been a day since we came back from Therum. I'm still sore from the mission (which hit me more than I realized) and the hand-to-hand combat training I did with Ashley yesterday morning, but we honestly didn't do much. She only showed me how to punch and kick properly, stand correctly, and then some other stuff I'm having difficulty remembering at the moment.

I wonder how Shepard is doing with all this shit. Handling it like a boss, no doubt. Hell, she's probably sleeping like an angle in her Captain's quarters. They made it look so easy in the game, but I feel like I'm fucking dying, and I only got a fraction of the vision! I clench my fist and slowly unclench to get it moving normally again. Still able to hear my heart beating in my ear, I pinch the bridge of my nose before letting out a quiet sigh. It's way too hot in here, I should go wash my face...

With this thought, I toss my legs over the side of the bed to get myself moving, now being fully awake after having such a freakish nightmare. I'm surprised I'm not on Elm street at the moment...I try my best to make as little noise as possible as I drag myself over to the bathroom down the hall. The cold metallic floor against my bare feet was indescribably soothing. Especially when the sudden change in temperature sends a chill up my spine, I unconsciously let out a squeak as I embraced the cool and stretched my back.

I grip the sides of the sink with both hands, my reflection staring back at me from the mirror. I look like absolute shit right now. My brown hair was the definition of bed head, stretching to many different paths as it sees fit. Deep dark circles had formed underneath my chestnut brown eyes and my skin, which had a minute tint of a tan, was much paler than usual, like I had just seen a ghost. Technically, I did see a ghost. More than one.

Well, like I said, absolute shit. I turn the nob of the sink, letting the cold water flow down into the basin as I cup some of it in my hands. Even with my hand shaking, I still manage to keep it together long enough for me to throw it on my face. The burst of cold water drenching my face manages to jar my senses, like a Pokémon snapping out of confusion (best way I can describe it really).

My breathing was fine now, but my hand refused to let go of the matter. It continued to jitter as I made a fist on the steel table top of the sink. For the next ten seconds or so, I was just staring at my reflection in the mirror. I've only been here for nearly a week and I feel like so much has happened already. Gameplay wise, all of this would have happened in the span of a few hours—thirty minutes on a speed-run and yet, I'm so goddamned tired.

Before I got here, I hadn't shaved in a few days, so the stubble was just getting there. But by now, it's grown quite a bit. Not to an extreme level, mind you, but it certainly was getting hard to look at. Took me a while to hit puberty growing up, but when it hit, it got me good. My facial hair grew much faster and proportionately better than my friends'. My cousins used to complement me on it, but I never thought the same. Unshaved, I looked like a homeless Squidward asking for spare change on the side of the road. I need to shave this shit soon. I would right now, but I'm not sure that'd be a good idea with the shaking hand and all.

The glint of a red light blinks in the corner of the mirror. At first I thought it was just the panel of the mirror being electronic or something. That was, until it decided to open it's 'eyes'. Six deathly golden-yellow eyes beeped awake as the figure emanates a mechanical cry. Out of impulse, my head immediately jerks around to see it in person. But, to my dismay (and quiet appreciation), there was no figure to look at. It was gone, just as quickly as it had arrived. I could feel my gut lurch with the weight of my anxiety being thrusted down on me again.

This is the second time I'm seeing and hearing things outside of a dream, which was much scarier to think about. After all, if I can't sleep or be awake in peace, when can I truly say that I'm safe?

"What are you looking at?"

I jump in surprise, squeaking out a yelp as I turn to face the source. There was Kaidan, standing in the doorway with a drained look glued to his face. He rubs one eye while making his way over to the sink and turning it off. I had forgotten I left it on.

"Bro, don't sneak up on me like that!" I warned him with a whisper.

"Not like I was trying to tip toe over here." He says, somewhat annoyed, "Why are you up so early?"

I lick my lips trying to come up with an appropriate response. This just goes back to the pride thing, wanting to prove to them that they don't need to worry about me. So, again, I lie, "My sleep schedule's still all kinds of fucked up, man. I'm surprised I even managed to sleep as much as I did, to be honest."

His expression tells me he remains unconvinced, though he may just be too tired to care at the moment. Nevertheless, he doesn't question it further, "Well, try not to make so much noise when you wake up, eh?"

I nod my head sheepishly, "Right. I'll do that. Very sorry, by the way."

"It's cool," he replies, still befuddled by sleep, "Do you want me to get you anything?"

I smile at his offer, though, I have a feeling he'd keel over in the middle of the hallway mid-destination, "Nah, I'm good. You can go back to sleep, I'm gonna try and go back to bed soon too."

"Alright, then, goodnight." He exits the bathroom with a wave of his hand, pivoting into the desired bedroom.

There was no way in hell I was going back to sleep.

The illusion, coupled with Kaidan's jump scare managed shock my senses awake, so the chances of me getting anymore sleep tonight was slim to none. Well, if I'm not going to go back to sleep, I may as well leave the crew quarters. Don't wanna wake anyone else up. Kaidan was delicate with the matter, but I doubt someone like Wrex would react any differently from a fist to the face. And getting punched in the jaw by a krogan? I'd be losing a lot more than just a tooth...

I shudder at the thought. Quietly, I grab my only pair of shoes from the room and slip them on as I make my way through the dimly lit corridor (it's meant to act as a sort of nightlight) until I reach the elevator. It exits on the second floor, where the cafeteria is located, and I step out. The last time this happened, I found Shepard here. Maybe she's awake again too?

Rounding the corner, not sure why, but I find myself disappointed at the fact that she wasn't sitting there this time. It would have been nice to speak to her, maybe even ask if she was going through the same thing I was. Guess not...Though there is somebody in the cafeteria at the moment and it's probably the last person I would have expected to run into here. They were pouring what appeared to be more than a few packets of sugar into a gray-black mug as I approach them somewhat eagerly.

"Joker?"

The arm that was shaking the packets of sugar into the mug jerk at the sound of my voice, scattering bits of white on the counter. His head cranes to me with a scowl, "Holy sh-hi-hit." He says breaking the swear with a shaky exhale, "What the hell are you doing up? You almost made me break my arm!"

He's exaggerating, right? I mean, his arm only jerked slightly, but then I'm not sure how Vrolik syndrome feels exactly.

"Sorry," I apologized as meaningfully as I could, "I didn't mean to frighten you."

He groans and then releases a defeated sigh, "No. I'm sorry. I tend to get a little cranky at around this time of night." Our pilot begins to sweep the sugar bits with his hands, throwing the excess away in the sink, "My question still applies, though. What are you doing up before everyone else?"

I felt the chill breeze from the a/c unit above me as I stuttered with my response, "I-I-it was just...hard. For me to sleep the full cycle, I mean. Haven't gotten used to it yet."

He nods his head, "Yeah, that makes sense. For a second there, I thought you were going to say it was the vision keeping you up. Can't be easy after some prehistoric technology mind fucks you." That's too good for a guess. How would he know? My facial expression must have changed slightly because he catches on to it instantly, "That's it isn't it?"

Something tells me he wasn't going to believe any other lie I told him, so I slump my shoulders with a frown and nod my head, "Please don't say anything..."

He smirks, but I don't know if it's because I've essentially sold myself out, or if it's because he managed to see through my lie, "'Course not. If you don't want to tell anyone, then, that's your business, kid."

I don't even wince at the nickname, instead releasing a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"Thanks, I appreciate that." I tell him, "How did you know it was the vision keeping me up, though?"

He points to my eyes, "That look in your eyes—Shepard had it too just a moment ago. There isn't much that gets to that woman, and believe me, she's been through a lot. But then this Prothean vision gets engraved in her brain. Talking about doomsday, metal things with sharp scary claws, and suddenly, she's an insomniac." He looks me up and down, "If that thing is making her lose sleep, I can't imagine what it's doing to you."

Wow, Shepard must be having these nightmares just like me then...That makes me feel slightly better about all of it. This means it's got nothing to do with weakness, since Commander Shepard, is far from being weak. It gives me hope that I can deal with this, because if Shepard is struggling with all of this and somehow pushes through it, then so can I!

"I'll be fine." I assure him, without the confidence boost I had just given myself in my head.

He shrugs his shoulders, "If you say so..."

As Joker limps over to where the coffee pot was stationed, I ask, "So, Shepard was just here?"

"Yes, I...believe I just mentioned that, right?" He sarcastically asked with a side-wards glance.

Okay, cranky Joker is even more of a smart ass than usual...I still chuckle though. Like I said, I have a varied sense of humor. But damn, I guess I just missed her. Makes me wonder how long she's been up for exactly.

"I take it, she made that pot then?" I point to the coffee pot he was grabbing a hold of.

"Correctamoondoh." He acknowledges while pouring it into his cup, "You want some?"

I visibly cringe from the memory of having drank it the first time, "Nah, I'm good. I'm not sure it should even be called coffee."

This time Joker laughs, a bit more than I was expecting, but it makes me smile. I made the Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, laugh! That's crazy!

"I know what you mean," he admits, "that's one reason I put so much sugar in mine. It hides a lot of the bitterness."

"And the other reason?"

"Eh, it helps to bring out my witty and charming nature." He replies with a smug grin. I snicker at his response and he limps over next to me, carefully trying not to spill the coffee. "Listen, I gotta get back up and pilot the ship, are you gonna go back to sleep soon? Be honest."

I shake my head, "Don't think so..."

"Then how would you like to keep me company til' everyone else wakes up? Unless, you have something better to do?"

Shit, that actually sounds like a fun time. Chilling with Joker until the sun comes up (so to speak). I almost reply too quickly, "Yeah, sure. I'm down."

"Cool. C'mon this way."

We start walking side by side to the stairway that leads up, but I find myself having to regulate my speed to his own, what with the limping and all. He's also trying to balance the coffee on top of that, so it makes him even slower.

"You want me to carry that for you?" I ask him.

"I'm good." He says with a bit of frustration.

"Okay..." I said, "Just trying to help."

His face grimaces with a sigh, "Thanks for the offer, really. But I've been doing this my whole life already. Not a big fan of 'sympathy assistance'. Plus, like I said, I'm a little cranky..."

I see, it's a pride thing then...Never knew Joker to be so prideful about anything other than his piloting skills. Goes to show, he's just another human being like the rest of us...

"Do you get a lot of, 'sympathy assistance,' having Vrolik syndrome?"

"How'd you know this was Vrolik syndrome?" He questions with a tilt of his head.

"I, uh, read about it on the internet, one of those sites that give info about a medical diagnosis everyday?" He nods, still staring at me. I'm actually impressed with myself for coming up with such a quick excuse, "Brittle bone disease, right?"

"You're exactly right. Kaidan wasn't joking, you really are pretty smart—though no one's called the 'extranet', the 'internet' in about a hundred years." Hmm, well that's good to know for later. He continues, "Yeah, got a lot of it growing up. After awhile, it just got frustrating, people always treating me like I was a piece of glass waiting to crack. Er, even if it sort of is the case."

"No, no, no, I understand. You don't want people to assume that you're someone who needs to constantly be taken cared of." He shakes his head in confirmation, "I know the feeling, hell, that's how I feel being here." I gesture to the air around us with my hands.

"Can you really blame them?" He asks as we near the door.

"Can you?"

"Touche."

The door whooshes open as we reach it and step through. The CIC galaxy map was shut off, as were many of the terminals located on the side lines of the deck where the ship crew does their thing. Only a few of them were lit, the ones being where the skeleton crew of the Normandy were still hard at work. This must be the boring side from working on the Normandy, I mean, what is there to do while everyone else is asleep? Wait—Is that guy playing Galaga?

I side step over to the terminal. Galaga was one of my mom's favorite games, so naturally, she passed it on to me when I was growing up and I absolutely love it. It's strange that such a simple game still exists in this day and age... "Niiice." I comment to the guy who was playing. He glances to me over his shoulder and suddenly looks annoyed. He clicks a few things on the keyboard and the screen 'alt tabs' out of the game. That was weird...

Jumping back next to Joker, I ask, "What was that about?"

Joker waves his hand, "Don't worry about, Meredith. He's just got a stick up his ass."

We continued walking down the pathway, exchanging glances with some of the other crew members. By the time we reached the bridge, I realized that almost all of them (with the exception of one or two crew members) gave me some type of a dirty look.

"And what's their excuses?" I inquire with a hand at my waist.

"What are you talking about?"

I gesture to those that we passed by, "They all looked at me as if I took a massive piss in their cereal!"

"No! No, they uh..." He exhales, defeated, "Alright, you wanna know the truth?"

I squint my eyes at him, "What truth?"

"They don't like you much."

...

What?

"Wh-wait...They don't? Why not?"

"Well, a lot of them see you as too young and immature to be working on the Normandy, especially since you're not in the Alliance either." He explains to me. Damn, I knew some people were unhappy about the Alien team members being on board, but me? This definitely caught me off guard...

"But I managed to impress Shepard enough for her to keep me," I blurt out in defense, "And the ground team seems to think I did alright during our mission on Therum."

"You're right, you've done alright so far." He admits, "And as long as you're under Shepard's wing, you don't have to worry about them. Hell, I wouldn't worry about them regardless."

"Yeah, but still..." I have this uncontrollable need to always be on somebody's good side. Don't know why, I just hate to be disliked by someone. Like, what did I do to deserve your disdain? Because of this, I've always been neutral to certain arguments, never fully picking a side until it mattered.

"You have to see it from their point of view." He begins, "The Normandy is still a prototype and one of the most advanced ships in galaxy—most Alliance soldiers consider it an honor just to take a tour of this baby. All of these guys had to work their asses off to be offered a position here, and you just waltzed right in."

"Never really thought about it like that..." I glance back at the skeleton crew before eyeing the Pilot, "Do you feel that way too?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not that shallow, Marcus." Putting up a defensive hand, he continues, "As long as you don't make more than I do and you stay away from flying her, you'll get no complaints out of me." This makes me laugh, "Now then, let me get back to my seat."

Joker spins the chair around and settles into it (very carefully) while I stand next to him. In the games, they never made it clear how piloting works, just that you don't have to use your feet. This is something that would be interesting to learn about, I think, because looking at this from a first glance? I could get a better understanding trying to read Japanese then comprehending any of this.

"You seem lost." Joker comments.

"Was I that obvious?" I quip back to him, "It's like trying to figure out The Matrix without an explanation."

"You've seen The Matrix?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

Wait. Does that mean he has seen The Matrix?

"A friend of mine is into really old movies, so he downloads the one's he hears about and we watch them." That's partly true. We'd always find some link on the internet and just stream it on our computers. Not sure how it works in the future, though. "How do you know about it? That movie's almost two centuries old."

He points a thumb behind him, "Remember how you saw Meredith playing Galaga back there?" I nod my head, "We usually get a lot of free time on this shift, so I gotta find some way to keep myself busy 'til the boss wakes up."

I smile wryly, "Isn't it incredibly dangerous for our pilot to be distracted while everyone's asleep?"

"I can multi-task," He answers matter-of-factually, "Besides, it's not like we'll be crashing into an asteroid field the moment I take my eyes off the monitor."

That again brings the question back to my mind, "How do you fly this thing?"

"'Thing?' Don't say that so loud, she'll hear you!" He scolds me in a whisper.

I go along with it, bowing discreetly, "My apologies. I meant, 'How do you fly this, beautiful lady?'"

"There we go, that's better..." He acknowledges the correction, "Many factors come into play when it comes to getting her to fly, but I assume you're asking about the controls in general?" I nod my head, "Well, it's a whole lot of science on paper, but in reality it's about memorizing certain movements for different codes and frequencies. For example, if I wanted to bring the main guns online," he motions a few swipes and turns with his arms on the terminal expertly before another holographic panel is displayed with what appeared to be a switch, "All I'd have to do is input that code, as you just saw, and press this button right here."

I cross my arms, trying to get a grip on the lesson, "So once you push that button, the Normandy will automatically lock onto it's target and fire?"

"No." He simply says, "Locking onto a target is another step, usually done by the person operating the scanners to my left. Though, I, the pilot, could do it myself if I had to."

"Okay, I see. Does that mean you could operate all of the ships functions by yourself?"

"Technically speaking, yes, I could. But it would mean more work for me to do during a tense situation." He smiles devilishly, "It would definitely be nice to have a challenge like that, one day."

You'll certainly be getting it in about two years Joker. When that Suicide mission comes up and the crew gets abducted, you'll have to fend for yourself. Unless...Maybe I can change that somehow. Eh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it...

"I've always wanted to be a pilot." I say wistfully, "Not a space ship like this or something, but more of like a plane or a glider, you know? That's what I was going to school for anyway."

"So you wanted to fly the retro way? Locally, like on Earth?"

"Uhm. I love the feeling of being up in the clouds, soaring with the currents of the wind, and seeing everything from a new perspective. It's absolutely breathtaking."

"Pfft, I disagree." Joker...disagrees, "Flying through space is way cooler."

"Cooler, yes. But not as relaxing."

He kicks his feet up and takes a sip of his coffee, "Can you do this on a plane?"

"Maybe not, but I don't see myself getting roped into a war while cruising in the air."

He shrugs his shoulders, "Well, even the greatest things have a downside." He rubs his nicely shaped beard, formulating another thought, "If you wanted to learn how to fly planes, what were you doing on Eden Prime? It's just a colony of farmers."

"Vacation." I say as yet another lie, "Had to get away from the family for a bit."

Now I'd kill for a chance to just get a hug from my mom again...

...

"Goes to the most unlikely places for a vacation and suddenly gets roped in to save the galaxy." He says, "Who would have thought?"

"Certainly not I."

Setting his coffee down, he turns to me, "If you want, I can teach you a few things about piloting ships if you'd like?"

My eyes widen, "You mean, you'll teach me how to fly the Normandy?"

"What are you crazy? Of course not!" I knew it was too good to be true... "I'm the only one who can pilot the Normandy. You'd have to pry the seat from my cold, broken, dead hands to take her from me. I could teach you the basics for shuttle flying, though."

"You'd do that?" I ask.

"Sure. If you're really interested in learning how to fly, then I don't see why not, and it would give me something else to do on my downtime." He says.

"Wouldn't that be a lot of work for you? I don't wanna add to that..."

His smile becomes crooked, "It's not as difficult as you think. There's an app you can download to practice it, but it'll take you years to master."

I'm being offered training by the best pilot in the Alliance fleet, this is like a no hesitation type of answer! However... "I appreciate the offer, but I feel like I already have enough on my plate, trying to learn how to keep up with some of the best soldiers in the galaxy right now."

"I understand, believe me I do. But I'm only offering it to you. You have to decide if you want to see how far down the rabbit hole goes." He smirks, putting his arms out and laying his hands flat on the air, "So what'll it be? The Red pill, or the Blue pill?"

I narrow my eyes at him. How incredibly corny...But awesome at the same time! "I'll think about it."

He grins at my answer, "Alright. Just let me know whenever, then." He takes another sip from his coffee, "So what other old movies have you watched?"

Hmm...

"Have you ever seen, '2001: A Space Odyssey'?"

His eyes go wide with an elated smile, "Marcus, you and I are gonna get along just fine."

A/N: I had originally planned this chapter to be something else, but wound up scrapping the whole idea due to my realization that, I haven't shown Joker once outside of his voice being on the intercom. Since Joker is one of my favorite characters in the series, I felt the need to give him at least a chapter for an introduction in getting to know Marcus.

That being said, I hope I wrote him well enough, so please let me know what you thought? I LOVE hearing from you guys and I promise, if it wasn't good enough, I'll do a much better job of it here on out!

The next chapter or so will be sort of like a time jump chapter(s). Events and character conversations that just happen during the span of a week, until finally reaching our next main mission. Feros! So yeah, fun stuff :)

Again, I'll try to keep the updates to being weekly, but I can't promise anything. I had to push myself to even get this one out, but the update will come. I Promise! If not on Tuesday, then maybe Wednesday or Thursday.

Anyway, I'll see you guys soon! (Oh and Happy-early-Thanksgiving) :)