Chapter Ten
A whirl of color and voices invaded Magnus's dreams; people talking to him, shaking him, and then Alec's voice, loud and angry, slicing through them all, protecting him. More colors, sterile white, ugly lime green, soft yellow, all flooded through Magnus's mind as he slept. He could hear people arguing, and once again Alec snapped at them, his voice sounding dangerous. Why was he so upset? Magnus struggled to open his eyes, wanting to figure out what was going on around him.
"…Mr. Lightwood please, your friend should be in a room. We can set him up in the same corridor as his mother. He needs to rest."
Alec's voice was uncharacteristically emotional, fury warping his words, "He wouldn't want that. Leave him alone."
"Mr. Lightwood, please, you don't know that."
"Yes. I do."
Magnus struggled, forcing open his eyes and wincing back at the bright, white lights that stabbed at his eyes.
"Magnus?" The fury was gone from Alec's voice, replaced with something far more tender.
Sitting up, Magnus felt something warm slip from his shoulders, and he opened his eyes fully. He realized, slowly, that he'd been sleeping on Alec's lap. Looking around, he recognized the clean white walls and floors, bright florescent lights, and a doctor hovering over them.
"Mr. Bane!" The doctor straightened up, looking relieved, "We need you to fill out some—"
Alec stood suddenly, his gentle blue eyes turning into chips of ice, "He just woke up, leave us alone."
Even Magnus was shocked by the ferocity in his boyfriend's voice, which helped him fully wake up. He watched as the doctor left and then reached up, tentatively tugging on Alec's jersey. "Alec…?"
"Magnus, are you alright?" Alec sat down hurriedly, his hands running through Magnus's hair, "Magnus?"
"…Alec, we're in public…?" Now Magnus really felt confused, and it wasn't helping anything. "What happened? Why am I in a hospital?"
Alec's face fell and he stared at Magnus, his blue eyes looking guilty and hesitant, "You don't remember…?"
"…where is she?" Magnus asked quietly, his mind settling down into a comfortable numbness. It was better if he didn't feel anything. He didn't want to think about how his mother had looked on that stretcher, all wasted away.
Standing up, Alec offered his boyfriend his hand. Helping Magnus up, he led him to the room they were sitting next to.
Magnus hesitated suddenly at the door, not wanting to see what lay inside. Tubes, machines, all hooked up to his mother's fragile body, or even worse, a sheet over her head.
"It's ok." Alec soothed, moving over and resting his hand on Magnus's waist, "Magnus, it's alright."
Not looking at his boyfriend, Magnus steeled himself and walked in, his hand tightening on Alec's.
The room was open and airy, sunlight filtering in through the open curtains. There were only two tubes running to the bed in the middle. One was an IV and the other a heart monitor. The woman in the bed was asleep, her breathing and heart rate even and steady. There was a bit of color in her cheeks and lips, and her hair had been freshly washed. She looked peaceful and relaxed, like her other self had never existed.
"…my dad died almost seven years ago." Magnus said suddenly, completely devoid of emotion. He didn't seem to see Alec's startled look, or his mother lying on the bed either. "She was doing alright for the first two years. Maybe because she was taking care of me and the bills and the apartment, but then, two years later…this started."
"Magnus, you don't have to tell me this." Alec murmured, moving closer to Magnus.
"It was never this bad but I knew…I always knew…" Magnus's voice trailed off before picking back up with the same devoid detachment, "That scene haunted my nightmares for the past five years. When I saw it…I thought I was dreaming again…it didn't seem real." He finally looked at Alec, his face impassive but his eyes broken like glass, "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I—what?" Alec sputtered, completely thrown, "Magnus! Don't apologize for that!" He pulled Magnus around to face him; feeling like someone had pulled the floor out from under him. "Magnus Bane, listen to me, don't apologize for that. I don't care; I just care if you're alright or not."
"…Alec, please, don't…" Magnus's voice was still empty, "I…" Shame washed over him, and he felt himself recoil from Alec's touch. He just wanted to be alone; to curl into a corner of this hospital room that they couldn't afford and cry himself to sleep.
"Magnus…" Alec couldn't help the hurt creeping into his voice, and instantly regretted it. "Hold on a second, alright?" He steered Magnus to a chair and hurried out, pulling out his cell phone and flagging over a doctor as he went. The door shut behind him and Magnus was left alone, thankful to a few minutes to try and compose himself. It wasn't that bad. She was still alive, look on the bright side…
Twenty minutes must've gone by before Alec reappeared; looking flustered but satisfied as he sat on the chair next to Magnus, careful not to touch him. "Do you want something? Coffee or something to eat?"
"No…thanks." Magnus stared down at his knotted fingers, "You don't have to stay here, Alec. It's ok."
"…my family knows I'm here." Alec said, "It's all fine."
"What did you tell them?" Magnus glanced over at him.
"That you needed me to be here." Alec paused suddenly, "…do you?"
"Yes." Magnus's voice was firm, unlike the hazy sentences he'd muttered before. "Alec, I…" He trailed off and then sighed, reaching over and slipping his hand into Alec's, squeezing it for reassurance.
They sat there for awhile, holding hands, not saying anything. Magnus didn't look at his mother, preferring instead to watch Alec quietly. He seemed content to sit there and stare at the wall, holding his hand, and saying nothing. It almost hurt to watch him, and Magnus felt it like bits of broken glass inside his core. Thankfully, a scuffle outside the door interrupted his thoughts, "What is that?"
"Oh, I think she's here." Alec commented, and then the door was flung open.
Camille was across the room and tackling Magnus before the door had even rebounded off the wall, "Magnus! Oh god, honey, are you ok!?" She fretted, stroking his hair and hugging him so tightly he made a sound of protest.
"C-Camille?" He managed to escape, only to be dragged into another hug.
"Yes, it's me. It's ok." She shot Alec a grateful look from over her best friend's head, her eyes silently thanking him.
He nodded and returned his gaze to Magnus, who had emerged from Camille's suffocating hug.
"Don't worry about anything, it's all covered." She was all business now, crouching in front of him and holding his hands in hers, "Alec and I are splitting the cost of the hospital and the treatment, it's all fine, Magnus."
"I—what?" Magnus looked bewildered, blinking like an owl. He looked at Alec for a trace of sanity, and found it in his boyfriend's steady blue eyes. "You can't do that!"
"I already did. I put Camille's information down on the forms and we're splitting the cost. I have a separate bank account, my parents won't notice."
"Alexander!" Magnus stood, looking at both of them, "No. This is ridiculous." He backed away from them, "You can't do this, both of you, it's too much."
"Magnus," Camille said softly, "it's taken care of. If you really resent it, call it a birthday gift from the both of us."
"…whose idea was it?" Magnus asked softly, looking at both of them.
There was a silence and then Alec stood, "Mine."
Camille also stood, "He called me as soon as he could and told me what happened. He also told me the plan." She looked over, finally, at the still woman lying in the bed. "It isn't that bad really, the cost. So don't worry about it." She looked back at her friend and, unable to help it, smiled softly, "Nice jersey."
A soft laugh broke through Magnus's lips, and he shook his head, unable to believe anything that was happening. "You two…"
Camille smiled and walked over, hugging her friend tightly. She looked over at Alec and smiled, holding her arms open to him.
He went over and joined the group hug; all three of them sharing the pain and relief that had been threatening to overwhelm Magnus.
They were excused from school for a week, and they all took shifts waiting for Magnus's mother to wake while the other two slept. It had been only two days, and Camille was on her shift now. It was Monday morning and she felt a brief surge of pride towards herself. She hadn't had a smoke for three days now. She looked over towards Magnus and Alec, smiling despite herself.
They were curled around each other like children, their foreheads touching and their arms and legs intertwined, almost like they were hugging. Their sleep was untroubled and they looked peaceful and relaxed. She felt a surge of protectiveness over the pair of them, surprising her. She'd always been protective of Magnus, but now Alec had somehow wormed his way into her heart. He was good for Magnus, and he'd thought to call her when this happened. That, in her book, made him a good person.
Magnus had night shift, but he'd spent most of it watching Alec sleep. His boyfriend was stretched out on the floor, lying on his back, breathing gently. Because of this, Magnus didn't notice his mother stirring until the heart monitors steady beep spiked sharply. Turning around, he met her gaze for the first time in years. It was her eyes, not filmy or glazed or blood shot. They were clear grey, and now were fixed on her son without any confusion in her eyes.
"Maggie?"
Her voice…it was soft and unbroken, sounding healthy for the first time in years. Magnus stood up from his chair but didn't move towards her. He just stood there, watching her. Some part of him thought she was going to go back to her old habit, of striking out at him or not recognizing him. The pain, the unimaginable pain of not having your own mother recognize you, haunted Magnus like a demon.
"Maggie, why am I here?" She looked genuinely confused, and her gaze rested on Camille, slumped against the wall, and then Alec, peacefully sleeping on the ground, "Is that Camy? She's grown so much."
Magnus winced at the pet name he'd given Camille when they were little. When he'd first seen little blond headed Camille, wearing cameo cargo pants, he'd mistaken her name for her pants. When she explained that her name wasn't 'cameo' it was 'Camille', he'd settled for 'Camy' instead.
"But who is that boy?" She continued, watching Alec.
"You wouldn't know, would you?" Magnus said softly, his voice curt. He could tell he'd hurt her with his words, and it filled him with a savage pleasure. Good. Good! She should hurt. She should feel all the pain and despair he'd felt for seven years. He wanted to hurt her. The intensity of his anger scared Magnus, but he didn't do anything.
"Maggie…" She whispered, her grey eyes wide and hurt, "Baby, I'm so, so sorry."
"No you're not." He whispered, "If you cared about me you wouldn't have left me alone."
Unnoticed to both of them, Camille awoke from her light doze. She didn't move, watching them from cracked eyes. She noticed Alec still sleeping, and after a quick decision, slid her foot across the floor and gently prodded him awake. Thankfully, he didn't start or make any noise, just opened his eyes and looked confused.
"Maggie! I am sorry. It wasn't my fault, you wouldn't understand—"
"Wouldn't understand?" Magnus's voice rose and he quickly checked it, bringing down to a savage whisper, "Understand what, mom? That someone you loved died? That Dad died? I wouldn't understand that? Well! Let's talk about what else I don't understand. Let's start with the drug. I obviously know nothing about my own mother buying drugs, disappearing and fading away. Do you know what it's like to be alone? To be an orphan? I might as well have been an orphan! My father dead, my mother a corpse in the upstairs bedroom; most of the time you didn't even know who I was!" Magnus took a breath, everything pouring out, "I've had to take care of the bills by myself, I had summer jobs, two at a time, and every cent I earned went towards the bills. I couldn't afford food most nights. Did you know that?"
Camille met Alec's eyes and felt a stab of pity towards him. She'd known all of this, but to Alec this was all new. She turned her attention back to Magnus, hoping that once he'd gotten all this off his chest maybe he could start to heal.
"Maggie, I didn't know!"
"No you didn't. You didn't even know your own name." Magnus accused, his shoulders stiff, "I grew up alone. You left me alone, and I made the best of it. And now, because of you, I've had to mooch of my friends. Camy and Alec have paid for this, did you know that? You wouldn't be alive without them!" He hissed, his voice breaking, "Do you understand that!?"
"…is that Alec?" She asked, nodding her head towards the 'sleeping' black haired boy.
"Yes."
"…I'm glad you found someone, Maggie." She whispered, "I'm glad you found someone to lean on. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I am a terrible mother, I know that. I…I needed to escape. Your father…" Her voice faltered and she cleared her throat, "He was my everything. I loved him and you more than anything. When he was taken from us…I forgot I had you, Maggie. All I could think about was him, and how he was gone. I thought my heart had been broken, but I forgot, Maggie, that you were a part of my heart too." She sat up, staring pleadingly at Magnus, "I'm so, so sorry."
Magnus didn't say anything, and it was impossible for either Camille or Alec to see his facial expression.
"You've grown." She gave a broken laugh, "Look at you, all grown up and I missed it. You look just like him…how old are you now, Maggie?"
"Seventeen." He whispered, his voice steady. But his hands were shaking, giving himself away.
Alec's eyes met Camille's again, but this time he looked furious, as if saying; 'what sort of mother doesn't know her own son's age?' Camille silently agreed with him.
"Seventeen…almost a man." She shook her head, leaning back against the pillows, her eyes distant, "You stayed with me for seven years."
"…what?" Magnus seemed slightly confused.
"You stayed with me for seven years. I was out for seven years, but you took care of me, Maggie. You made sure I was ok, didn't you?"
"…it was five years." Magnus corrected, the shaking in his hands getting worse.
She looked at her son sadly, "You made sure I was ok when I was…troubled. I don't remember anything from the last five years, Maggie. But I remember you. I remember you were always there when I woke up. Like you are now. You could've left me, you're a very smart boy, Maggie, and you would've done fine. But you stayed."
"I couldn't…I couldn't leave you to die." Magnus said quietly, his hands stilling. "I'm not like that."
"I know. You grew up to be a very good person, Maggie. I'm so proud of you." She smiled and leaned against the pillows, "But Maggie, I won't be a burden anymore. I'm going to turn this around. I will. But this time I'm not going to lean on you. You can do anything you want, you can come back and live with me or go and stay with Camy. Or even this Alec boy. You don't have to look after me anymore."
"Mom…"
Her eyes opened, looking fierce, just like Magnus did when he had one of those stubborn streaks, "I have a plan, Magnus. I'm going to rehab, getting a job, and then a nice place to live. You deserve the best."
Magnus didn't say anything, just watched as his mother nodded seriously at him and then closed her eyes, sinking back into sleep easily. He stood there for a bit and then said quietly, "How long will that be, Mom? Another five years?" But there was no accusation in his voice.
Isabelle stood in front of Alec by the door of Magnus's mom's room. "You're going to have to tell her something. She doesn't believe he's a friend. I told her, repeatedly, but I think she suspects something."
"When is she coming?" Alec asked quietly.
"Now. I came as fast as I could." Isabelle glanced down the hall, "Alec, you're going to have to tell her something."
"Tell who what?" Magnus asked, coming out of the room. He looked so much better now; the circles under his eyes had disappeared and Camille had gotten him a bag of product. He'd spent an hour playing with it in the bathroom, before coming back out with his hair gelled and his eyes shadowed in black. Alec had stared at him for a good five minutes, before muttering something about water and leaving quickly. Now Magnus was standing in the door way, hip cocked, teasing smirk on his face, wearing his jersey.
"My mother." Alec sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "It's been four days now and I've missed school. She's going to want a very good excuse."
"Your mother." Magnus mused, and then winked at Isabelle, "Hey you."
"Hey, you're looking very nice today." She complimented, and then grinned when he practically lit up, beaming with happiness.
"He always looks nice." Alec waved his hand, oblivious to the two amused smirks he got when he said that. "How long do we have?"
"Five minutes max."
"Well shit."
Magnus chuckled, "Not necessarily. Mom's out cold so she won't say anything. We could pretend that it's Camille's mom and she's your girlfriend, that's why you stayed here."
"Camille would never agree to that." Alec snorted, and then yelped when someone behind him spoke.
"I think Camille would be ok lying to an adult." Camille purred, looking amused.
"I think," Magnus drawled, "Camille shouldn't speak in third person."
"And I think it's a ridiculous idea." Alec interrupted, holding his hands up. "There's just no avoiding it anymore…"
"Alec," Magnus's playful demeanor dropped and he moved towards him, resting his hand on his arm, "You don't have to tell her. We've all been through a shit storm lately; you don't need this on top of everything."
"But that's just it. I'm sort of numb from everything, I figure that maybe I won't feel anything if she takes it the wrong way." Alec's tone was light, but it didn't fool anyone.
Isabelle checked her phone and clicked her tongue, "Alec, whatever you decide, hurry up. I'll help you if you want, but I think she's here."
Alec paled visibly, and Magnus snorted, "Well that decides it. Camille, you're his girlfriend for today. But if you try and kiss him I'm going to disown you as my friend."
"Deal." She grinned, and then looked up as heels clicked towards the small group, making everyone freeze.
Magnus slipped back into the room, followed by Isabelle, leaving Camille and Alec standing outside the room.
Camille was never nervous. She'd grown up around parents who thought that every child should be scolded at least twice a day. Regal women never threatened her because she considered herself above them. But now, as Maryse Lightwood stalked towards them, an unfamiliar feeling crept into her stomach. Fear.
"Hello, mom." Alec greeted her, looking nauseous.
"Alexander." She studied him with icy blue eyes, "You have a lot of explaining to do, mister." Her eyes rested on Camille, and the ice hardened into glaciers.
"Mom, this is Camille Belcourt." Alec said weakly.
"I'm his girlfriend." She added, drawing herself up to her full height. "My mother has taken ill and Alec has spent these recent days helping me look after her. He is very kind like that." The lie flowed smoothly off her tongue, but something told her that Mrs. Lightwood didn't buy it for a second.
"Mom, why are you here?" Alec asked, and then shrunk back when she turned her stare onto him.
"You have missed two days of school, a stranger drives my car back home instead of you, you haven't come home in almost a week, I don't know where you are or if you're ok, now you tell me your friend's mother is in the hospital, and now she's your girlfriend. Why do you think I'm here? My eldest child doesn't even bother to call me and tell me he's not coming home, what was I to think?"
Alec blinked; had she been…worried about him? Was that even possible?
"And as for you, young lady, I would like to speak to your parents as soon as they are well enough to talk." Maryse snipped coolly, her lip curling, "It just so happened, I know the Belcourts, and I have their number."
Camille's gaze didn't falter.
"Mom, stop." Alec moved towards her, shooting Camille an apologetic look. "I need to talk to you." He took her by the arm and drew her away, looking nervous but determined.
Oh no. She recognized that look. Camille tapped on the door and immediately two people poked their heads out, watching the family just out of earshot.
Alec seemed to be talking, using hand gestures as he described something. They could tell by Maryse's posture that she didn't understand whatever he was saying. Then Alec said something, and her stance became rigid solid.
"Oh no." Magnus whispered, "He told her."
"How can you be sure?" Camille whispered.
Isabelle winced, "That's how."
They looked back in time to see Maryse raise her hand as if to slap him, but then seemed to regain control and lowered it back to her side. They were obviously arguing, and by Alec's body language it was quite clear that it wasn't going very well. He gestured to the door and said something, and now Maryse was pointing at the door, jabbing her finger at it, her look of fury clear even from that far away. Alec shook his head and she grabbed his shirt, still pointing at the door. He ripped away from her, glaring mutinously. They stared at each other, almost like a standoff between two angry alley cats. Slowly, Alec moved back towards the room, watching as Maryse crossed her arms and tapped her foot. He arrived and looked at the three of them, his face pale.
"Magnus, I'm sorry. But I have to go."
"No, that's completely fine." Magnus opened the door and stood there, glancing at his mother, "So…you told her?"
"Yep."
"…didn't go well, did it?"
"Nope."
Magnus reached for him and then quickly checked himself. God forbid he touched Alec in front of his mom. That would just be the stupidest thing ever. "Will you be alright?"
"I think so." Alec didn't look too sure, "Izzy, are you coming home with us?"
"If I don't, I would leave you alone in the car with our angry mother." She snorted, and then walked over to her.
"Magnus, will you be alright?" He frowned at his boyfriend, concerned.
"Fine." He smiled warmly, "For the first time in seven years, I think I'll actually be fine. I'm going to move in with Camille for a bit, until everything's settled. I might even go back to school tomorrow."
"School…normal school…I actually miss it." Alec chuckled, and then glanced at his mother, his look hardening, "Magnus, don't worry about me. Remember what you said when you asked me to be your boyfriend? How you thought I was worth having a secret relationship with?"
"Yeah?"
"Well you're worth this." He glanced back into the room, "I'll text you when I can, alright?"
Magnus felt warmth surround him and he smiled, "I'll look forward to it."
With another glance towards his mother, Alec smirked suddenly and reached out, drawing Magnus close, "I hope you don't mind, but I miss your kisses."
It was so out of character that Magnus's eyes widened comically right before Alec kissed him sweetly, stealing away his breath. He automatically closed his eyes and kissed him back, a craving erupting inside of him that was nowhere near satisfied when Alec broke away. He caught the look on Mrs. Lightwood's face and raised an eyebrow, "Was that for me or for your mother?"
"Always you." Alec promised, "She's just a bonus."
Magnus laughed, unable to help it. "Oh god, I've corrupted you."
"In a good way." Alec reassured him, smiling. "I better go before she comes over here. I love you, Magnus."
Magnus's laughter was cut short and he looked stunned, like he couldn't quite believe what Alec had said, "Alec…" He curled his fingers into his boyfriend's, holding his hand out of view of his mother, "I love you too."
He blushed slightly, and then gently let go of his hand, "I better go. I'll text you." He walked off, holding himself high, and walked past his mother without even looking at her. Right before he disappeared behind the white doors, he shot one last smile at Magnus before following his family out and into whatever hellhole his mother had planned.