Hi! I'm back and this time with a new chapter which would be the epilogue! Well, I won't really consider this an epilogue, but same difference.
Sorry, I haven't updated. I was really busy with homework and other stuff...
So... in this 'epilogue,' Lake Blue and I happened to steal Jade's (And for those who forgot who was Jade, Jade was the court reporter who was writing every single detail and word that happened while the court was in session.) script and we decided to share his 'amazing' work right here!
BTW. The Italicized stuff are his thoughts that he's writing down.
So... enjoy!
Another Super Boring Court Case! (Actually, it's my first, but you're not supposed to know that!)
by Jade
Brief Overview: So apparently this ugly fat guy named Herbert was accused of stealing the last slice of veggietarian pizza, which is a huge crime, since I won't have anything else to eat other than cheese. Is that how you spell veggietarian? I'm not sure...but yeah. Klutzy's suing Herbert. Sesian's Klutzy's lawyer and Herbert has no life. Blah blah blah...Oh! Judge Greenbat just came in! Better pretend to be actually working.
Some other boring stuff happened until John finally said that the court is starting. Ugh... my tiring work starts now.
Greenbat: First thing first, Herbert where is your lawyer?
HeRbErT: My lawyer is right here.
Greenbat: Alright then, let's continue.
Jury: Chuckles
John: Okay, will Klutzy please come to the witness band (since when was there a witness band in court? Ehh, I don't know...)
Greenbat: Attorney, you may proceed with the questioning.
Sesian: Ahem, Klutzy explain what happened.
Crab (What's his name again?): Click click Ka click clickety click klick klickety click.
Awkward silence right about now...
Weird blue penguin (Wait! That's Gary. I could get him to do my homework!): Wait
Greenbat: You better have something good Gary for interrupting the case. By the way, I'm a really big fan. (Shame on you greenbat. That's not the proper way to ask for an autograph)
So much to write...Herbert's droning on pointlessly. I don't care about my job anymore, I'm not writing all this junk. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Instead! I'm going to doodle pictures in this notepad and hope that I don't get called on to repeat what just happened! I fail at my classes anyway!
Bunny:
/) /)
( . . )
c(") (")
Great... I just got caught by John. I better start writing before he snitches on me.
Herbert: What is two plus two!
I hope I don't have to answer that! Do I use the quadratic formula to solve it?
Sesian: Objection! Irrelevant and-
Why'd you stop?! Now it looks like I was being lazy again!
Herbert: INCORRECT! Two plus two is...um...uh...How do you add numbers again?
This guy...Even I can add two and two! It's five! Right? I don't know, let's use the quadratic formula!
Let's see the quadratic formula is... um... i forgot... well, let's say it's five.
Great, I was just called on by Greenbat. Do I write our conversation down? Might as well, I am getting paid for this.
Greenbat: Alright Jade. (It feels weird writing my own name down)
Me: Yes?
Greenbat: Put his name down as the Fat Polar Bear (No problem. I have been writing that for the whole entire case)
Fat Polar Bear: HEY! i'm not fat! just chubby. (No, admit it... you are pretty fat)
Greenbat: Anyway, explain your side of the story.
Fat Polar Bear: Okay, I was in the kitchen eating my pink ice cream, since pink ice cream is awesome. While I was digging through the fridge, I realized that we ran out of chocolate and cookies. Immediately, I made a mental note to go buy more, since it's delicious. I also noticed that there was a chip in the paint blah blah blah blah blah blah...
I'm not even going to try to pay attention, so here's another picture of a bunny:
/) /)
( . . )
c(") (")
Sesian: Objection! My client clearly stated that you were the one hovering over the pizza box!
Herbert (Should I put the Fat Polar Bear or not, since they're supposed to be different but they're actually the same and...? You know what, I have no idea. Lets use the quadratic formula!): Well this is the story in my client's own words so shush!
Herbert the lawyer: So Herbert, you precisely said that you saw Klutzy right next to it?
You know what I'm really bored... Wait a minute, there's Snah who's playing with a rubik cube! That's not fair! Oh i need to catch up.
Me: WAIT! You're going to fast. (No you really arent)
Greenbat: you done yet?
Me: ...Yeah...You may continue.
Sesian: As I was saying, Are you sure there was only one slice of pizza left?
Herbert: Im positive (Are you? Are you really?)
Sesian: Are you sure? (I JUST SAID THAT) Can you count like this! One Chicken, Two Chicken, Three Chicken, Four Chicken?
Herbert: Of course i can. One, Two, Five, Two, One! Which adds up to Eleven (I thought you couldn't add) One two five two one is a palindrome! And it adds up to a palindrome! Double palindrome! (What's a plaindrome?)
This is so boring and so much math is in here! *sigh*
Herbert: He never cleaned himself! You have all the proof right over there! (this polar bear is very unintelligent. I could've done better than this guy)
Sesian: Herbert, that's how Klutzy always look like and how do you know that he had clean claws?
Herbert: They were wet (Didn't he just go to the bathroom?)
Sesian: Didn't he just go to the bathroom? (HEY! I just said that! Well, wrote that. Same difference.)
Herbert: Or that's what he wants you to think.
Stop trying to be smart Herbert, I've tried that before and it didn't work. I'm just going to stick with the quadratic formula for everything.
Sesian: Alright, one last question, did you hear anything from the kitchen that would obviously point to the fact that Klutzy is the culprit? (Oh, lets think of a really silly answer only he would come up with. Hmm...the toilet flushing.)
Herbert: Yes! I heard the flush of the toilet! He obviously ate the pizza slice then dumped the box in the toilet! His claws are wet because of the water!
Faceflipper moment... Wait, if I came up with that same answer, doesn't that mean I'm just as silly at the Fat Polar Bear? Aww... Nah!
Greenbat: I think we have found the issue here. Herbert is mental. Either that, or he's extremely creative. (Good Job Greenbat! You finally done something right!) Let's take a ten minute recess!
Yes! Finally no more writing! Wait a minute... I'm writing something now? Why can't I stop! Wait I could. See i just lifted up my pencil. Wow! I never new that.
Hey look the teacher's pets are here, let me go talk to them and annoy some of my other friends.
This is Jade signing out for ten minutes... how long is ten minutes anyway? I don't know, should I use the quadratic formula for that too?
So that was the first part of Jade's magnificent work!
BTW... for those who don't know what the quadratic formula is, it is a math formula used to solve quadratic equations that Jade is completely in love with. He thinks it's the best for everything, but we exaggerated his love for it a little bit in the story.
Also, the spelling errors, i realized there are spelling errors, but it's Jade. There are bound to be spelling errors.
So hope you peoples enjoyed that and stayed tune for the next part.