Fragile

Chapter 10 – Unruly Emotions

NOTE: Thank you Rosella6199 for beta reading this chapter. You are the best! :D

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy tail, Hiro Mashima does.

The words had slipped past her lips without her realizing it, and now that she had said it, she couldn't take it back. Jellal looked somewhat relieved and glad as he sipped his coffee, smiling awkwardly ather. She smiled back; trying to appear like it wasn't chaos in the inside. She would be glad to be his friend, but what if that friendship would turn into something more? She wasn't dense—she knew what was happening to her feelings and she wanted to stop herself before they surfaced. Erza would know. She'd feel betrayed and Lucy didn't want that.

"You should start eating your cake," Jellal said, his voice snapping her out of her thoughts. She picked up her fork and slowly started to do as he suggested. She looked pleased and he grinned. "Is it delicious?"

She nodded. "Very."

He laughed and tilted his head to the side. "That's good then," he said, smiling as he watched her chew and swallow. It was almost a miracle to see her so responsive, but maybe that was because he was helping her heal and that she was starting to.

"I'm…" she paused to blink her eyes once, "your friend now… right?"

He stared at her for a moment before chuckling. "You became my friend the moment I let you in my house," he said, amused. "But yes, I'm your friend now."

She exhaled slowly and smiled shyly. "Thank you."

"Ah, you don't have to thank me," he said, raising his hands and waving them. "Friends are supposed to help each other, so thanking each other would be kind of strange and not to mention awkward."

Lucy's cheeks turned into the slightest tint of pink and she nodded. "O-Okay…"

"Good," Jellal said, finishing his coffee and looking at his watch. "You better finish your cake and your espresso; we have to go home soon."

She, once again, could only nod her head and say the exact words she had said earlier. "Okay."

Jellal slumped back against the wall tiredly, eyes darting towards the clock. He could hear the shower running in the background from where he was, and he ran his fingers lazily through his hair. He was, more or less, overjoyed from his conversation with Lucy, but something was lacking. She was still reluctant around him, and he felt like he had forced her into their friendship. She looked glad when he told her they were friends, but was he only imagining it?

As he waited for Lucy to finish her bath, he opened his laptop and began editing the book he was working on earlier in the day. However, he couldn't seem to get to work properly, so he closed it shut, sinking his head in his hands instead. He was bound to have a headache with everything he's been doing, and Lucy—dear Lucy, she was both a cure and the cause as well. It was all so confusing—his feelings. Why couldn't he just clear them and make things right?

It was rather vexing for him to be so distressed over something which wasn't work. Even with his petty arguments with Erza, he could still sleep just fine. But somehow, he was experiencing the same problems with Lucy. He knew she was restless last night, and that she kept tossing and turning in her bed, but he pretended he was sleeping. It wasn't easy, but he went through it alright, it seemed. And with enough caffeine, he hid his fatigue well.

At the sound of the door clicking open, he raised his head a bit to find Lucy rubbing her damp hair with a towel, wearing a fresh set of clothes. She gave him a small, wavering smile. "Um… Is it alright if I… go on ahead and sleep?"

He waved his hand. "You don't have to ask. It's not like we have to sleep together." Lucy's face flushed and his eyes widened, realizing his mistake. "A-Ah! I didn't mean that, I mean… we don't have to sleep at the same time."

Curse him for being so careless!

"I might sleep late so… you go on ahead," he said, smiling nervously. Lucy bobbed her head in a nod and soon left him alone in the kitchen to sulk at his stupidity. When he was sure that she was completely gone and was in their—no, his room, he groaned in frustration and started pulling at his hair. He released a long exhale and dragged his hands down his face wearily.

For someone like Jellal, it was only natural to think he was merely nice to everyone. It was partly true, and that was the reason why his girlfriend had fallen for him, but there was a reason why he was particularly kind to Lucy. The blonde was a miracle, suddenly appearing in front of him—though terribly ravaged and frightened—and giving him a reason to look forward to everyday. She was a ray of sunshine amidst all the darkness that surrounded him and he wished she would just see that. She always appeared distraught, and whenever they spoke, he was the first to speak.

He had tried his best to make her feel at home, or at least to warm up to him. He knew it would take a while, and he wasn't expecting her to heal so quickly. He had a nagging thought that she was halfway there, and that he was doing great with what he was planning, but by some means, he had forgotten his role along the lines. He was only supposed to be her friend—though she clearly didn't realize that at first—and her supporter, but she had pulled him down into something deeper, something better but at the same time, something troubling.

He was, of course, alarmed when he found out about his growing feelings. He was always against cheating, since it was quite unfair to love two people at once when you could just be satisfied with one. But now that it was happening to him, but he wasn't exactly cheating on Erza, he finally understood the complications. However, there were people who merely did it for fun and for entertainment. He wasn't like them though. He was very distressed by the turn of events and he was sure he would be on edge for the next couple of days.

Who was he to Lucy?

He had asked himself that question a number of times, and although he was good with people, he couldn't seem to find an answer. She was a book he didn't understand—a complete mystery. When he met her, he could sense she didn't want anyone prying. But still, even as he stared into her eyes now, he could never tell what she was thinking. Maybe he had a couple guesses, but what were those worth? She always seemed so caught up in her thoughts, and he tried reading her once but failed. It was very frustrating.

As he recalled the events of their conversation in the café, he couldn't help but smile. He was honestly surprised when she asked if they were friends. In fact, that was what he wanted her to be—his friend, his companion, his comrade. Although to her, he probably seemed more like an older brother. Not that he didn't want her to view him as sibling related, it was certainly better than viewing him as some stranger who just suddenly took her in. But he was hoping for something better, something… lovelier.

But why would he want that when he had Erza?

Yes, it was a very confusing thought. What did he exactly want to do with Lucy? He had made it this far just for her, and he didn't know what else was there to be done. She didn't seem like she was planning to find a place of her own any soon, but they knew it was the inevitable. One way or another, she had to leave. Not because he had fulfilled his part, but because of Erza as well. The woman would be furious if she knew there was someone else aside from her living under his roof.

He shuddered at the thought.

What was so wrong with helping a traumatized woman, though?

He frowned and played with his hair, looking outside the window. Oh how he envied the way the trees danced, so free and without a care in the world. Of course, it wasn't like he wanted to be a plant. He would die of illegal logging. Perhaps a bird would be better, or even a fish.

He groaned in frustration and clutched his head. The bluenette stood up from his seat and walked over to the counter, rummaging through the cupboards for instant coffee. He found a pack in the drawers and dropped it on the surface, filling a cup with water and heating it in the microwave. He watched the bright orange light inside and followed the cup that spun slowly with his eyes, leaning against the counter.

"I… I'll be your friend."

He covered his flushed face, recalling what happened earlier. He still remembered how his heart raced a million miles a second, how he couldn't even breathe for he was too glad to do so, how he couldn't get rid of the smile on his face—he was dumbstruck, actually. Nevertheless, he was happy. He had never felt so much joy before, not even when Erza said yes—

His eyes widened.

Before he could wonder why he even thought of that, the microwave started beeping and he stopped it, taking the cup slowly. His mind was still processing what he had just admitted and even then, he couldn't understand.

Did that mean he valued Lucy more?

But he couldn't. He had Erza and she was his girlfriend and Lucy was—

What was Lucy to him?

Absentmindedly, he poured the contents of the pack in the cup and stirred it. His eyebrows wrinkled with confusion, bemused at himself and at his own thoughts.

"Jellal… are we friends?"

Yes, they were. But why did he still feel so incomplete? Why was he still wishing for more when that was all they could ever give to each other?

"Have you ever felt like you've betrayed someone you love?"

His breath hitched and his hand stopped, his heart pounding loudly against his chest. He could hear it amidst the silence, could feel it through his skin. He swallowed hard and brought the cup to his lips, sipping quietly.

He needed to think correctly. He wasn't in his right mind. His feelings were lashing out and he couldn't contain them and—

He didn't care.

He pressed his lips together and massaged his temples, trying to free himself from the growing headache. He sat back down on the table and eyed his laptop, suddenly feeling very lazy. He placed the cup down and put his laptop away in the bag. He propped his elbow on the surface and leaned his cheek against the palm of his hand, creating ripples on the coffee.

I care.

He narrowed his eyebrows.

I don't know anymore.

With a sigh, he finished his drink and placed it in the sink, washing his hands. He dried them with a towel and headed to his room. Maybe he needed some sleep to clear his head. He needed it as much as Lucy did after all.

Entering the dark room, he saw Lucy roll on to her side, her back now facing him. Her hair was now disheveled from moving around the bed too much, and he noted that the blankets were on the floor. Blinking, he approached her silently, not wanting to create any noise that would wake her up. He bent down and picked up the blanket before gently placing them over her.

He stiffened just as she did, and he understood at that moment that she was awake.

"…Lucy?"

The blonde shifted awkwardly. "Yes?"

He frowned, sitting on the floor. "Why are you still awake?"

She squirmed beneath the covers. "I… couldn't sleep," she whispered, her voice causing the hair on his nape to stand.

"I see."

He chuckled then and patted her head . "You better go to sleep or else you'll be sleepy tomorrow too."

"Okay," she mumbled, trying to stop herself from shivering.

Jellal lied on his futon and stared at the ceiling, thoughts clouding his mind. He wanted to have another session where he would end up realizing that it was already 2 in the morning, but the thought of going through another migraine made him withdraw.

With a sigh, he threw the blankets over him and closed his eyes, surrendering himself to the darkness.

A/N: I'm sorry if it's a short chapter. I honestly tried my best. At any rate, we now know the storm that is stirring inside Jellal. I wasn't planning on revealing anything yet, but it seemed to be important right now so I decided to do it anyway. Erza's return will come soon, and I hope you guys still wait for the chapters that have yet to come.

If any of you have questions, you may go on and ask them at my Ask Fm or you can leave them in your review!

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"Expectation is the root of all heartache."

Bye! -Anne :D

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