Disclaimer: I don't own Glee
A/N: co-written with Sha22
Thanks for all the reviews, support and follow/favs. You're awesome and for that I'm updating sooner. I know, I know I'm awesome too :p
Chapter 10: Her and her talented mouth.
The past three days passed in a daze for Rachel. She left early each morning to go to the theatre and came back long after the kids were asleep. She was past the point of exhaustion and she didn't have the energy to do anything but eat and sleep after getting home at night.
The diva could feel Santana's eyes on her every time she was around, analysing her actions and waiting for something that never seemed to happen. She didn't know what to do anymore but right now, she couldn't bring herself to care.
After another long day of rehearsal, the brunette went to the bathroom to take a shower and get rid of the soreness in her body. Santana was already asleep despite the early hour of the night so she took her time. After her nightly ritual, she went to bed, careful not to wake up the Latina.
As she lay in bed, she felt the mattress shift behind her and a second later, Santana's hand landed on her stomach. It was their routine for the last couple of weeks and Rachel kind of got used to it.
It wasn't bad, quite the opposite actually. It felt nice to snuggle like that with the fierce Santana Lopez and somehow, she found herself waiting for it every single night. Every time, the Latina would pull her closer and nuzzle into her neck. Once they were settled, the diva would feel … content, safe and in some way loved. Sleep always came easily after that.
She was about to drift off to sleep when the hand on her stomach slid to her hip then her thigh. The brunette drew a shallow breath at the motion.
"Hi." She heard the Latina croak.
"Hey." Rachel replied, trying to act nonchalant while Santana's hand was drawing slow circles on her thigh. It stopped before moving higher, riding up her night gown slightly and scratching her thigh.
'Oh lord.'
"You're home." The raven-haired breathed out as she kissed the diva's neck and collarbone.
"Uh-uh, I … am." The little brunette stuttered. She was still trying to compose herself and not freak out. She knew she couldn't run out of the room and hide in her office, it would be a catastrophe. Instead, she stayed still, hoping the girl would go back to sleep once she had 'said hello' with a couple of kisses and 'caresses'.
No such luck though because Santana started to kiss her neck wetly, hitting a sensitive spot which made her whimper involuntarily. 'Oh, my god, what is she doing to me?!'
"I missed you, baby..."
Rachel actually gulped and shivered at the girl's husky tone. Granted Santana used that tone a few times before but this time it was different. This time her hands were all over her body, her face was nuzzled into her neck and her hot breath was sending shivers down her spine.
"Santana …" It was supposed to sound like a protest but it came out as a plea for more when the Latina nipped and sucked her neck. The diva was so focused on what Santana's mouth was doing to her that she forgot about the hand on her thigh that was slowly moving to her inner thigh. The hot and throbbing feeling appearing between her legs was enough of a reminder. 'Please … please … Santana, go back to sleep…' Rachel chanted in her mind over and over again. 'She sounds tired; hopefully I'll be able to sleep soon'.
It was starting to be more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed. The worst part was that her body seemed to enjoy it and was responding in the totally opposite way to her mind. It wasn't like it wasn't enjoyable because somehow it was… It was just wrong and she wasn't that type of girl anyway or so she thought.
The diva had started to come to terms with the fact that her future self was married with two beautiful children but she still couldn't grasp why Santana. She could even less picture herself having sex with her to be honest. Either way, she knew the Latina was a sexual person and if she didn't put a stop to the situation, it would only lead to more. But god, it felt so good and so right and yet so wrong at the same time.
She was thinking less and less about Finn since she woke up in Santana's arm two weeks ago and it usually came by waves. Right now seemed to be the perfect moment to think about him though, because it killed everything she felt under Santana's touches.
The brunette might not be with Finn in the future but he was still her boyfriend in her time and she need to respect that. Unfortunately, he left her mind as soon as he came when Santana moved to kiss and lick her collarbone, slowly and sensually. 'Oh Barbra, help me …'
When the Latina's hand cupped her breast, she snapped out of her daze and quickly but gently moved away from Santana. She sighed softly and looked at the tan girl. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked in a weak voice.
"I'm trying to make love to my wife. What are you doing?" Santana questioned teasingly.
The brunette contemplated her answer for a moment. She needed Santana to stop what she was doing but at the same time, she wanted to avoid a fight. She finally settled for a basic excuse. "I'm trying to sleep, Santana." She looked at the girl, waiting for any kind of outburst but the Latina just kept going.
"Maybe it could wait." The Latina purred in the petite girl's ear. "You'll sleep better after an orgasm or two. Besides, it will help you relax a little."
'Barbra, Ms. LuPone …. Patti…' Rachel chanted desperately. It wasn't the first time Rachel had to get away from this type of situation, but each time, it was getting harder to justify herself and she could see Santana was tired of it. She was getting used to being Santana's friend but this… this was too much, too fast and definitely too soon for the idea to even cross her mind. She had affection for the girl but it stopped there. Again, she was dating Finn and he was the only one who ever did that to her, even if Santana was supposed to be her wife in this reality. "I'm really tired and I have to get up early, so please, let me sleep."
The raven-haired girl sighed heavily, retracting her hands before violently turning around to the other side of the bed. "Fine, whatever… But you should really expand your book of lame excuses, this one is getting old."
The brunette couldn't help the guilty feeling running through her veins. It was starting to appear more often these days. Each time she would turn Santana or the girls down, she would feel a pinch in her heart. It was like a part of her knew it wasn't right but she had to do it anyway. "Santana…" She started, trying to offer some sort of consolation.
"Don't… just don't…" Santana cut her coldly. "I don't wanna sleep in the guest room because even if I'm annoyed right now, I know I won't be able to sleep if you're not beside me so just… Stay on your side and sleep okay, since you're so tired…"
Rachel sighed. After almost two weeks in this reality, she had witnessed what seemed to be the true Santana, the girl behind those high protective walls. She found her amazing and she genuinely wanted to know her more. She had understood that behind all the bravado the Latina was sensitive and emotional just like her. Right now, the girl was hurt and there was nothing she could do to apologize, it would have to wait.
Saying the atmosphere was cold and tense the next morning would be an understatement. For once, Santana was the first to be up and was making breakfast for the kids.
Rachel made her way to the kitchen and kissed the girls good morning. When she approached the Latina to peck her lips, the girl turned her head and she kissed her cheek instead. She felt a quick pain of rejection which was surprising since she was supposed to kiss her for the sake of her role. But somehow, she thought that if she was feeling right now even half of what the tan girl had felt the last couple weeks, the brush-off was deserved. She quickly put on a fake smile and grabbed her cup of tea, talking with the kids while Santana was completely ignoring her.
For once, rehearsal went well and Rachel was able to come back home early in the afternoon. She had received a few texts in the morning but decided to wait until she was home to read them. However, when the doorbell rang and she opened the door, she wished she had read them sooner to avoid her shock. Indeed, on her porch, was standing Shelby Corcoran, all smiling and happy to see her.
"Hum… Good afternoon, Shelby… What are you doing here?" The diva asked awkwardly.
Shelby raised her eyebrow. "What? No 'hey mom, how are you?' Come on, I want my hug!" She said before hugging the diva tightly. She kissed her cheek before entering the house and walking toward the living room.
"Come on in…" The brunette mumbled as she closed the door.
"You didn't read my texts, did you?" Shelby inquired.
"No, I'm afraid not…" Rachel answered. She wondered why she kept opening the door when she always found someone or something she was not ready for behind. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" She asked in a fake happiness. The last time she saw her birth mother, she made it clear that she didn't want to be around her so why in god's name would she want to spend time with her now? Did her future self have a therapist? She might need one after today.
"Well, I wanted my mother-daughter coffee time. We didn't have one this month. Since you didn't answer, I called Santana and she told me you should be home so I thought I'll come by." The diva's mother explained.
"You talked to Santana?" The petite girl questioned flabbergasted. "About me?"
Shelby frowned. "Yes. She told me Gabriela hurt herself the other day. Do you mind if I come with you to pick up my beautiful granddaughters after school?"
The brunette blinked, she was in the twilight zone again. There was no way her mother was involved in her wife and daughters' life. What was Future her thinking?
"Rachel, honey, are you alright?" The vocal coach asked concerned. "Do you want me to make us coffee?"
"I, hum, no it's okay. I'll to take care of it. Wait here." Rachel replied, rushing to the kitchen and away from her mother. She couldn't spend the afternoon with this woman. Sure a part of her wanted to be close to her mother but another one was yelling at her to stay away before getting hurt.
The memories were still fresh and it still stung each time she thought about it. After their last encounter in the auditorium, she had decided to only be 'friendly' with Shelby for the sake of appearance and for the glee clubs…
The diva glanced to the side when she saw her 'mother' take a seat on one of the kitchen stools. She eyed her carefully as she poured two cups of coffee. She moved to give her mother the cup but stopped when she realised she didn't know how Shelby liked her coffee.
"Two spoons of sugar, like usual?" Shelby offered. It came out as a question, as if she could feel Rachel's hesitance.
"Of course, I just need to remember where I put the sugar this morning. Santana likes to mess with the way I order things." She lied, quickly grabbing the sugar and pouring two spoons into Shelby's cup. She didn't add anything into hers though; she wanted to feel the bitterness of the coffee in her mouth like her heart could feel the bitterness of the situation. It could sound dramatic but how was she supposed to spend the afternoon with the woman who told her she was not what she had expected because she needed a child and not a teenager?
The vocal coach chuckled. "It sounds like Santana indeed."
"Yes, it's Santana..." She said, taking a seat across from the woman. Oddly, she found some comfort in the fact that Future her took the higher road and forgave her so called biological mother. She wasn't one to hold grudges but she could be very stubborn and sometimes, she needed time to let her anger go and forgive people who hurt her.
They fell into a comfortable silence, well an awkward one on Rachel's part because it was the longest moment she had spent with Shelby and their encounters had never ended well before.
"It's been a while since we last saw each other…" Rachel trailed off, offering the start of a conversation. She wasn't sure if it was a good statement because obviously they were seeing each other on regular basis but in any way, it wouldn't hurt to know when they saw each other for the last time. Clearly, they were both busy with their own schedules, her with the play and Shelby … with whatever she was busy with.
"We saw each other 3 weeks ago; I wouldn't call it a while." Shelby chuckled. "I didn't know you missed your mama so much. But anyway, I'm here now. So how are the kids doing? Oh, I miss my babies so much. I know it's my fault, I've been really busy with work but can I come with you when you'll pick them up?"
Rachel didn't know what to say; she couldn't actually say 'No, go back to your perfect baby and leave mine alone'. Well, not that they were her daughters strictly speaking but… She guessed that since everything was good between them in this reality, she had no other choice than to agree. "Sure." She replied, offering a small smile. Now that Shelby had talked about work, there was an opportunity to know what she was doing for a living, not that she cared or anything… "So, how's work?"
"Work is good. All classes are packed and a lot of people want to join and live the 'Corcoran's Music School' experience. I'm thinking about expanding the number and type of classes, maybe buy a new place to create a full time art school… I don't know, it's an idea I have for a while and now that Beth is older and someone manages the daycare for me, it might be a good time…"
Why did Shelby have to be so musically talented? It made it harder to hate her when she was talking about these kind of things. "Well, you are a good teacher and you are talented, so I'm sure you can do it." The diva said wholeheartedly.
"Thank you, sweetie." The vocal coach gave her a soft and warm smile before reaching across the table to give Rachel's hand a gentle squeeze. "But I can't take all the credit. Having the Berry-Lopez couple coming now and then to teach special classes helped me. If I take the plunge, I'd like you and Santana to be a part of it." Shelby winked at her with a 'proud' smile.
"We…mh, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Sh…mom." Rachel almost slipped. She couldn't speak on Future her's behalf and she knew too little about the situation to say something. The best strategy was to change the subject. "How is Beth?" She blurted out. It was the first thing that came into her mind.
The way Shelby's eyes lit up at her daughter's name made her jealousy bloom again. Shelby had been able to witness every Beth's first, her first steps, her first smile and her first word. It was everything the woman wanted and couldn't have with Rachel. Because of her, the small girl had trust and abandonment issues and it wasn't something you could get over so easily…She was brought back to reality by her mother's voice.
"As good as a twelve year old can be. You know how teenagers are these days. She's learning how to play the guitar though, she's very good." Shelby said before laughing at one particular thought. "Sometimes, she reminds me of you. She can be very persistent about things."
"She sounds more like Quinn than me … mother." The diva stated with a sad voice.
The vocal coach looked at Rachel questioningly, like something was off but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Well, she spends a lot of time with her sister so I guess she has a lot of good role models in her life. Enough about me and Beth." She announced, sensing the malaise. "I'm here with my other daughter. Now, tell me about you. How's the play going? What about your co-star? What's his name again? Is he still hitting on you?"
'Sister?', 'Role model?', 'Other daughter?' Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. Shelby thought about her like that, like a part of her family. She was on the verge of tears when the rest of Shelby's sentence sunk in. Her eyes widened. "Why do you ask? Did Santana say something to you?"
"No, she didn't say anything. I mean, she was busy so we didn't talk much and I haven't seen her since our last exclusive and free of charge piano lesson." Shelby joked, giving her a little wink. "Also, it's certainly nothing new to say that Santana isn't the type of person who shares her problems or yours for that matter, even if we're pretty close now. She is still very guarded about a lot of things around me which I can't really blame her for in view of our history… But it's something I like about her. She's protective with the people she loves and frankly, I couldn't wish for a better spouse for you." She said softly.
"Ohh." was all she could reply. It was too much to process at once. She couldn't understand how people in this reality could render her speechless so often.
"Honey, are you okay?" The vocal coach questioned.
"Yes, yes…" Rachel answered absentmindedly. "Why?"
"It's just … You seem out of it today and also, we talk over the phone almost every week so of course I know about your co-star and how he's bugging you. I don't understand why you're so surprised about it…" The older woman explained.
"Right … I'm sorry, I'm just tired…But you don't have to worry, I already put him in his place. I made sure he knows that I'm married to the very fierce Santana Lopez." Rachel assured.
"I can see that by the mark she left on your neck." Shelby responded amused, nudging her chin in direction of Rachel's neck.
"What?" The brunette frowned before feeling Shelby's hand on her neck, pressing a spot.
"Your hickey." The girl's mother stated.
"My what? Oh my god, wait." The diva rose from her stool and looked at her reflexion on the microwave door. There, just where she felt her mother's touch was a huge hickey. "Are you kidding me? I went to work like that!" She growled at loud. She was so caught up in her thoughts this morning that she didn't even notice it. "I hope no one noticed. Oh Lord…" She said, remembering her encounter with the paparazzi when she left the theatre. She used to want their attention but now that it had happened a few times, she had discovered it wasn't as fun as she thought.
"What?" Shelby asked still amused.
"Some paparazzi were outside the theatre." The petite brunette explained. "What if they publish something about it? It's not good for my public image." It was all Santana's fault, her and her talented mouth. 'Wait, What? Do not go there again, Rachel, it's not the time or the place. Your biological mother is right in front of you for Barbra's sake.'
Her mother chuckled. "Oh honey, they already printed that a few times. I'm sure they're too bored with 'that' particular topic to run a story."
"Oh my god, I'm mortified." Rachel said, hiding her face into her palms.
"Don't be. It shows that the Berry-Lopez couple is still very much in love and isn't afraid to show it. Besides, we both know you would have hid it if you knew."
Rachel stayed silent and gave Shelby a small smile. Would it be okay for her to talk about her small fight with Santana? She pondered it for a while before deciding not to. Even if she desperately needed help and advice, she wasn't comfortable enough with her mother to ask.
They chit chatted for a while until Shelby offered to babysit the girls Saturday night if the couple wanted to go out with their friends. The diva thought it was good idea and it could decrease the risk of another awkward and tense evening with the Latina.
At some point, they left the house to pick up Gabriela and Siobhan. It was still weird for Rachel to spend time with her mother but somehow, it was everything she ever dreamed of. She thought it was something Shelby took away from her a long time ago but in the future, the same woman was showering her with love and attention. Maybe she could get used to this…
Shelby stayed at her house for a while, talking and playing with the kids. She seemed to have told the truth when she said she missed them and apparently the girls had missed her too.
Siobhan and Gabriela squealed with joy when they saw Shelby waiting for them after school. They had been attached to her ever since and the diva felt oddly jealous about the attention her mother was getting.
It was silly because up until now, the brunette thought about herself as a babysitter, someone watching children until their Mami came home. And now that she was watching the girls interact with the vocal coach, talk about their day and giggle, she felt … neglected by her daughters, yes, hers...
To top it all, the girls were calling Shelby 'grandma' and seemed to share some kind of secret language with her. Instead of boring holes at the back of Shelby's head, Rachel decided to avoid the green monster and busy herself in the kitchen. At some point, the vocal coach left to get Beth and the petite girl found herself alone with her thoughts and unanswered questions.
The diva was a little apprehensive about her evening with Santana. She knew she had hurt the girl but even if she couldn't give the Latina what she wanted - which was something she wasn't ready to do or even thinking of doing - she could at least be nice and more affectionate for the night. Suddenly, she got the idea of a romantic dinner; it was a sweet gesture without being too risky.
She cooked while keeping an eye on the girls, pausing now and then to play with them. It was starting to get late and Santana wasn't back from work so Rachel decided to make the kids eat before putting them to bed.
The brunette set the table for two and lit some candles to create an intimate atmosphere. She was definitely getting better at playing house. Santana came home ten minutes later and was clearly surprised to find a romantic dinner waiting for her.
"Hi…" The Latina greeted hesitantly.
"Hey, is this okay?" Rachel asked, fidgeting nervously while pointing at the table.
"Mmhh, yeah, sure…" The raven-haired girl stayed at the kitchen entrance, not moving to kiss the brunette hello like she was used to. Instead she looked around the room, unsure of what to say. "Are the kids asleep yet?"
"Yes. It was late for them so…" The diva trailed off.
"Okay well, let me change and kiss the girls goodnight and then we can eat." Santana said before leaving the kitchen.
"Alright." Rachel said softly. She drew a sigh of relief, grateful Santana didn't blow her off. Even if it was a little awkward, at least it was something.
When the Latina came back, she looked at the table and questioned. "What's the occasion?"
The brunette shrugged. "I just wanted to do something nice. I mean, it's been a hard week and I thought it would be good for us…"
"You know it won't be enough, right?" The Latina asked. "A romantic dinner can't fix this, even if I have no idea what the fuck 'this' is. You need to tell me what's wrong; you owe me at least that…"
If Rachel wasn't paying attention, she could have missed the pleading in the girl's voice and the hurt in her eyes. She instantly felt bad and tried to explain hurriedly. "I know and I will, I promise but…"
"You said that already!" The raven-haired girl cut her off a little harshly.
"I know!" The diva exclaimed before sighing heavily. "I just had an emotional day and I want to enjoy this evening with you without fighting. Please, can we do that?"
The tan girl frowned. "Did something happen with Shelby?"
The brunette shook her head. "No, nothing happened. It just brought a lot of memories back, that's all."
Santana stayed silent for what felt like an eternity, staring at the tiny girl like she was looking for the answer to an unasked question. After a while, she cleared her throat. "Okay…" She moved closer to Rachel and kissed her cheek before pulling out her chair.
At the sweet gesture, Rachel smiled the biggest smile she had smiled in days. It was heart-warming. "Thank you." She waited for Santana to sit down before speaking again. "How was your day?"
"Exhausting. We're struggling to find the right melody for one of my songs." The Latina informed her after sipping her water.
"I can help if you want." The diva offered with a soft smile. "Maybe with a fresh perspective, you could find what is missing."
"Maybe, we'll see…" The raven-haired girl responded dismissively.
The brunette could feel the tension emanate from the girl. It was like she didn't want to be here, with her…After putting so much effort into this dinner, it was kind of hurtful. "Santana, please, I'm trying here."
Santana sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just…" She stopped herself. She looked at Rachel before continuing. "Nevermind. How was your day?"
Rachel was glad for the change of topic. "Rehearsal went okay but I was glad to come home early. Shelby came to visit and spent some time with the kids. To be honest, I wasn't expecting her but the girls were happy to see her so overall it wasn't a bad day."
"I know. She called me since you didn't answer her texts."
"She told me yes. We talked for a while." The diva replied. "Did you know she wants to create a full time art school?"
"No way! Seriously?" The Latina asked, slowly relaxing.
"Yes and she wants us to be a part of it. She said that since we helped her make it possible, it was only fair to include us in her project." The brunette explained.
"Hells yeah!" The raven-haired girl exclaimed.
Rachel smiled at the statement. Sometimes, Santana sounded exactly like the girl she knew and saw everyday in school. "Really?"
"Definitely! But I want my last name to figure in the school name." Santana stated.
"Santana!" Rachel hissed before laughing.
"What? If it's our legacy, I want our name in big bold letters on the building!"
The brunette giggled. "Show-off!"
"You got it, babe" The Latina smirked. "And don't act like you don't want it too, I know you better than that."
"I have to admit that I wouldn't be opposed to co-owning a music and art school." The diva confessed. "Especially if my name was engraved on the building."
"See, that's why we're made for each other." The raven-haired girl winked.
Rachel's breath hitched. Sometimes, when she thought about all the sweet things the girl could do for her, she could almost believe it. She cleared her throat. "But what should we call it? 'Corcoran Berry-Lopez Music School' is a little bit too long don't you think?"
"Maybe 'CBLMS'? No, it sounds like a venereal disease!" Santana made a face. "What about 'CBLA'? Corcoran Berry-Lopez Academy?"
"Not bad..."
Santana and Rachel kept talking and laughing, offering potential names for the school during the rest of the meal. Both girls seemed relieved to be able to enjoy an evening without a fight, at least for now.