Chapter 10

Barnabas stared out the window. Why couldn't they understand why he was doing it? Not a word as to how the girls should get home. Just worry that he was going to get himself in trouble.

How he was going to get them in trouble.

Bitterness stole upon him. That was all that mattered to them, their owns security, first and foremost... As if he needed confirmation, after the way he had had to kidnap Oriana to save her from everyone else...

"And are you any better?"

He turned around, not surprised at all to find Dave behind him.

"No, you are right. I am no better... You want to know something? It didn't start with these.." he tapped his fangs "Sure, I was a good man, but only when it cost me nothing. When put to the test..."

"It was Jeremiah" he continued "I was his friend. But only as that friendship did not make serious demands on me. I chose not to see the old friend. I chose just to see the successful rival. I did not have to let my wounded pride and social convention lead me to his death..."

"You seem now to be going to the other extreme..."

"No. I finally figured it out. I believed in kindness. Until my lieutenant asked me to get information out of a captive Indian woman. I believed in the brotherhood of man. And that the slave trade was a business like any other... Do you know what was behind my marriage to Josette?"

"Something to do with the slave trade?"

"Yes." Barnabas said ferociously "Andre de Pres believed that slavery would be reestablished now that Robespierre had been disposed of. It was an economic imperative, as he explained to my father. And since the Collins were notorious shippers in the Triple Passage, he wanted to secure a supply of dark ivory. His daughter's hand was part of the deal..."

"Did you make that deal?"

"I did not protest it. So what does that make me?"

"No better and no worse than anybody else at that time."

Barnabas shook his head ferociously "You wouldn't have done it."

"I never had to face up a world where slavery was legal. I was lucky that way."

"Then there was Priscilla.. I could be patient and understanding. But not with her. She was just a kid, trying desperately to please, trying desperately to have me like her."

"Priscilla?"

"My first wife. My father arranged the match, in spite of my objections. I made her pay for it. I neglected her. She was alone with my mother, who always took mi side, even when I was wrong, with Abigail who could tear you inside with just a few words, with Laura... Alone, frightened, friendless... she had a difficult pregnancy. A little affection, a little reassurance that she was wanted would have been enough for her wanting to live. But I didn't give them to her. So she died, with no one to truly mourn her." he shook his head. "I did kill her. And for her there is no excuse."

"Except that you were a dumb kid."

"No. I was a stinker. But I could afford not to be, most of the time. Then one day I was caught in a situation I could no escape and had to learn a few unpleasant truths about myself. And now I am judging everybody else... They too think they are good, and they do try, if it does not cost them much, and they too lie to themselves a lot."

The slightly sad, slightly mocking smile did not leave Dave's face. "This business is tearing you apart. Having to go back to old ways."

"It does. But I have to go through with it. At least this time something good is coming out of it... and I can't abandon the..."

"Even if it tears you inside, and worse."

"Don't tell me that you are trying to warn me off."

"It wouldn't do much good. You are just excessively stubborn. But I don't like self-flagellation. If you have to do it, do it, but stop hurting yourself needlessly."

"You should know better than to tell me that. Too many memories. And they do hurt. I never knew they would hurt so much."

"Let go of them. It helps no one for you to keep going over them. Accept the past as that, past."

"I can't" Barnabas was silent for a few minutes, then spoke again.

"I have been thinking about Angelique, too." he said "I never tried to understand her. But I should. Used and abused by everybody. Denied the right to complain. Supposed not to have feelings. Just a servant girl. She had to serve ladies, women like her, but accorded respect. Waiting on them hand and foot as if they were a different species... she must have hated Josette. All the things that Josette was too well bred, too refined to undergo, were Angelique's lot. I would only touch Josette's hands with my lips. But I was tearing the clothes off Angelique every night, demanding it as my due."

"So she turned to Magic."

"Yes. It gave her the power to strike back at those who humiliated and debased her. It offered her a way, something better than what she knew. Her revenge was cruel. But she had been too warped by mistreatment go be capable of generosity or forgiveness."

"As you were warped by being chained in that coffin for all those years."

"As I was. Still it doesn't excuse any of it. What I did to Maggie, to Willie" his voice dropped "to you and Julia."

"You'd make it up to me, if you could"

"But I can't I can't even help Julia. I have to look at her and know what I did to her." he shrugged "but at least I can help the girls at the shopping center, and I am going to do it, no matter what the cost."

Sabrina had barely time to finish her breakfast when she was told that someone wanted to see her.

Hoping it was Chris, she went to the hotel lobby, only to meet Harry Redwolf.

"What do you want?"

"To talk about our common problem."

"Common problem?"

"Barnabas Collins.:

Sabrina glanced around. "Not here. Let's go out for a stroll."

They went into the woods, with Sabrina turning on her portable radio, just in case.

"I am not sure what is it that you have in mind" Sabrina said.

"Please, Mrs. Jennings. Don't waste time and money beating around the bush. Barnabas is the one responsible for those attacks, all right. It is part of a plan to push for safe transportation... But we better do something quick before he drags us down with him."

"Do you have proof that it is him?"

"He has all but shouted it out. "

He told her the whole story, and she nodded.

"Yes. he's the one doing it " Sabrina admitted "it is a good way to put pressure, I admit."

"A good way that we cannot afford."

"Do you have any idea of how to make him see reason?"

"I tried talking him out of it. Useless."

"So I might save my breath with him. I am not one of his favorite people, anyway."

"We could prevent him from leaving his coffin. I heard it can be done."

"It wouldn't work. We'd have to keep constant watch over him, to make sure no one came to release him. He can get plenty of people. He is in mental contact with anybody he's fed on, and in a pinch he can command them to release him."

"But I understand that it was done not too long ago by Ms. Graham."

"Because he cooperated. he understood that he needed a rest cure after breaking his collarbone. He would not cooperate with us."

"So what are we left with?" Redwolf asked.

He knew what they were left with, but he'd rather not speak of it.

"How good are you with a bow and arrow?"

"What for?"

"Lie in wait for him, at the shopping center. Shoot the arrow into his heart."

"Mrs. Jennings!: Redwolf said, shocked.

"I will not do any killings. So, if you want him dead, you will have to do it yourself. I have no intention of becoming a scapegoat."

"You'd rather I did the dirty work without telling you about it?"

'"I'd rather you didn't try to get me to do YOUR dirty work."

"All right." Redwolf shrugged "So killing is out unless we can find ourselves a scapegoat. What else can we do?"

"I have no idea. But I will think of something."

Louella felt nervous about approaching Barnabas. He had been having troubles of his own lately. Those newspaper stories...

And to ask him point blank to take Vicky back...

She wondered about the newspaper stories. It couldn't be him. Neither she. nor Willie would believe it was him...

Vicky had to go. Whether she meant it or not, she was turning Willie into a nervous wreck.

"You come to yell at him?" Phillip asked her. "it does no good. Once he gets an idea in his head, nothing will dislodge it."

"Why should I yell at him?"

"You mean that you approve?" Phillip sounded shocked "Oriana does, but that's because she smells a good story in it. I wish he would listen to reason, just for once. He doesn't know what he's doing to himself. He doesn't' understand how he can get killed."

"There, there" Barnabas said behind them "there you are, worrying again. I thought that I was supposed to be the Jewish Mother around here."

"Barnabas" emotion made Phillip's voice waver "I just can't bear to see this happening to you. You have done so much for me and I should be able to do more than just cross my arms and see what happens next."

"I know." Barnabas squeezed Phillip's arm "I know that you care for me and I appreciate it. But I have to do it."

Phillip turned his face away as he felt the tears coming into his eyes.

"Phillip, don't worry about me, please."

He then turned to Louella "Are you going to say the same thing that everybody else is saying?" he asked, a bit harshly.

"Why? What's happening?"

"Surely you must read the newspapers. All those girls being attacked."

"I am sure you didn't do it."

Barnabas laughed softly "but I did" he paused "I think it is better that I start at the beginning."

He told her all of it. She just listened to him, saying nothing until he was done.

"Well, are you going to yell a me, too?"

"I...I don't know." she admitted "I know how dangerous it is for you. I do not like the idea of your exposing yourself to danger. But..."

"But?"

"I worked at the shopping center myself. Before I married Willie. And I also had to hitchhike home. I was lucky

Barnabas smiled "So you don't want me to stop."

"I wish I had done something about it myself, instead of letting you do it."

"Well, maybe you can. You can try giving Barb a hand."

"I think I will."

Barnabas took her hand and kissed it. "Willie is a very lucky man."

Willie's name made Louella remember why she had come here. "At this moment he does not believe it." she said.

"He doesn't?"

"That girl... Victoria Winters. She's a nice kid and helps me around the house and everything. But I don't want her around Willie."

"Surely you are not jealous of her." Barnabas said with surprise.

"I am not. It is that she is turning Willie into a nervous wreck."

"How so?"

"You know how insecure Willie is. When you think of what he has made of himself you'd say he has a right to be proud."

"He has every right to."

"Well, he isn't. He can't forget that he never finished high school and that he went to jail. He can't forget they way he was when you met him."

"I was in much worse shape than him." Barnabas mused "Does that worry him so much?"

"He has this feeling that he's going to be... how you put it... found out. You should see the way he acts when he catches himself mispronouncing a word.:"

"And what does Vicky have to do with it?"

"Don't you see? Louella almost screamed. "She talks all the time about the way things used to be. And makes him talk about it. About a certain costume party. About the way he acted sneaky and stuttered. And then she ask him about somebody called McDuffy, no.. McGregor..."

"McGuire" Barnabas said quickly "Jason McGuire."

"That's it. That's the name."

Barnabas cursed himself inwardly. He should have figured that this would happen. Between Willie's insecurities and Vicky's own compulsions, this was bound to happen.

...Should have figured out. Somehow that was the story of his life.

"All right, I'll talk with Vicky. Maybe she should move back with me."