Confessions

Normandy- Infirmary – On the way to Feros

As silently as possible for a man of his build Shepard entered the infirmary and went to Dr. Chakwas. The three patients seemed to be at sleep now and she was willing to answer his questions. "How are your patients, Doctor?"

"Mostly intact, better than feared after what they've done. Ashley has a few broken rips and a concussion. She should be ready for duty in 24 hours, but I want her to be careful for another two or three days. Tali's arm is broken and practically her whole body is a single bruise. I'll hold her in the infirmary for at least three days, if only to force her to make a break."

Shepard smiled shortly. "Yes, would be better this way. A simple order to stay in her room she wouldn't obey I fear. I'm surprised that she is not in the machine room yet."

Chakwas shook her head: "I gave her a sedative. She should be sleeping for at least eight hours."

"Good. And what about Udina? I saw only a few superficial wounds."

Chakwas sighed. "His body is mostly unharmed, you're right. But … did you know that he has a L4 biotic amp? It wasn't in his file and I overlooked that information as I examined him on his arrival."

"An L4? I thought they're still in the pilot stage."

"They are. I have no idea how he had gotten hold of that. And his seems to be a special delivery. Apart from being stronger than the L3 his amplifier has a specialty: Udina is able to disconnect the security lock. That allows him a far stronger use of his biotics but it is very exhausting and dangerous."

Shepard paled. "And I assume he used that down on Therum?"

Chakwas agreed: "Yes, he did. Perhaps he thought it essential to save Tali but this … he has very nearly killed himself. When he awakens I expect you to have a very earnestly conversation with him."

"Be assured, I'll do that. No excuse me; I wanted to speak with Liara too."

Walking thru the infirmary he reached the room Liara had been given. After some eating and sleeping she seemed fairly ok again.

"Oh, Shepard." Liara put some notepads aside. "I was just perusing the data Dr. Warren gave to me. They are very interesting but I'll have to wait for Commander Udina to awaken. I fear I'll have to speak with him or better to meld. Without that …"

"I understand but that you'll have to discuss with him. But be warned. I expect him to have … reservations about that. Perhaps you'll be able to convince him but I wouldn't expect him to jump at the possibility."

Liara smiled weakly. "I understand. Many persons have problems with that, especially those without experience with Asari and biotics. I only hoped he would agree. He is a very strong biotic too. It shouldn't be too strange for him."

Shepard shook his head slowly. "We'll see." Fetching another notepad from his pocket he continued. "In the meantime I wanted to show you another file. This is an audio file Tali rescued from a Geth. It shows the rogue Spectre we're searching and an unknown Asari."

"Oh, I'll take a look but I haven't much contact with other … oh goddess."

Shepard had to act quickly to catch her from falling as Liara staggered her face completely pale. "Liara? Are you alright?"

"N … no. That can't be. This … I must … this … this is Shiala." She stayed silent for a minute, trying hard to recover. "She is an acolyte of my mother, had been since decades before I was even born. And as far as I know she is still with my mother."

Shepard's mind raced. Could it be a coincidence? Shiala speaking with Saren and his Geth trying to catch or kill Liara? Hardly possible. "Who's your mother?"

"She … Matriarch Benezia. I haven't seen her for at least twenty years. She was not convinced about my chosen profession. But she had always been a well-respected member of our community, a kind of religious and spiritual leader, a speaker of peace and tolerance."

"Could she have changed somehow, thru some dire events or other experiences? If this is Shiala there would be at least the possibility that this 'mistress' mentioned by her …"

"No, no, no," Liara shook her head violently. "She could never work together with Geth."

Shepard stared at her. At least she believes that strongly and she seems to be very bad at lying. "Alright, we'll see. Our next stop is Feros. With some luck we'll catch this Shiala there. I would like to have you in the ground team."

"Certainly, I'll prepare. But you'll see this is some kind of misunderstanding."

Normandy- Conference Room – Near Feros

With the Normandy nearing Feros Shepard had called his crew for a briefing. Even Tali and Udina were attending, Tali wearing her arm in a sling and Udina weak enough to not oppose Chakwas' order to use a wheel chair to get around.

"I researched what we know about Feros. It is a habitable world with two thirds of its surface covered by prothean ruins. Five years ago the ExoGeni Corporation started a colony on the planet. It founded a large research center there and a small colony, called Zhu's Hope. There are living around 300 humans in all. The most visible parts of the ruins are some large towers ExoGeni now uses. They are connected by a kind of concrete aqueduct."

"Prothean Ruins could be interesting for Saren. Anything else, about the Corp or the Lab?"

"Yes, it seems to be largely maintained by biologists and chemists, a bit weird for an archeology center. Leaders are Fai Dan for the colony and Dr. Juliana Baynham for the lab, a well-known and respected botanist. But what could be more interesting: with Garrus' help I was able to get the information that Ethan Jeong had been transferred to Feros a month ago."

Shepard interrupted Udina's discourse: "Should I know this Jeong? I think I never heard that name before."

Kaidan explained, disgust quite obvious in his voice: "He's an infamous administrator of ExoGeni. I thought they had disconnected from him. Seems that this was only for show."

Udina shrugged: "What did you expect from a large corporation? This Jeong had gained some 'reputation' for using drugs to enhance the performance of workers. With these drugs they worked longer and harder with less need of all those costly irrelevancies like holidays, hobbies or high-quality nutrients. Surely it was not directly … helpful for their sanity, bodily and mental."

Shepard made a grimace. "And now we have this highlight of humanity on Feros. Alright, prepare. I'll go down with Liara, Wrex and Garrus. Ashley, if possible I want one of those new energy rifles for testing. All others: recover! That's an order. Tali: recover, triple order for you."

Normandy- Infirmary – Near Feros

"Rory?" Udina flinched as he heard Tali's voice. He had feared this moment and tried to evade her as much as possible but with Dr. Chakwas ordering them to stay another night in the infirmary this wasn't real possible.

Slowly he turned around and used the moment to look more intensely than before at the new suit she wore. White and red it was, really much more form-fitting than her usual suit. He liked it. "That suit is nice, I'm happy that I found it. Are you able to move …?"

Tali smiled; then she nodded as she realized that he couldn't see her smile. "It is very comfortable. And with the new airlock I'm really able to change between the suits. This was … a real great idea of you, I thank you so much."

As Udina made a deterrent gesture, Tali growled. "Don't … do … that. You have been very friendly to me, it was totally unexpected. I mean" She blushed and hesitated, Udina's smile doing nothing to soothe her. "I mean not unexpected from you but …"

Udina gripped her and pulled her down on a seat. "I understand what you mean. Your people often are mistreated by other cultures. You have a bad and mostly undeserved reputation. I'm happy that I was able to help you at least a bit. If you need something else …"

He padded her arm shortly and turned around as if he wanted to sleep. But Tali only repeated her growl. "You don't get away this easy. Helping me with the cabin and buying this suit is one thing. But what you did on Therum rescuing me from that Krogan …"

Udina sighed: "You would have done the same. It was nothing special. I mean … you're worth that and more … I mean … you're welcome."

Tali's voice got very soft: "You've risked much. Dr. Chakwas said …"

"Karin is exaggerating. That's her job as a physician," Udina tried to play the issue down, but Tali remained unconvinced.

"No, she said that you disabled your security lock and used far too much biotics. It could have killed you."

"Karin is an old chatterbox. I wouldn't believe all what she says." Udina stayed silent, waiting for Tali to go away but she seemed to be disinclined to do so. After some minutes the silence was too much for him and he explained with a barely audible voice.

"I had a sister, her name was Cathleen. The name's meaning is something like clean and pure. She was two years my younger but somehow she had always been my big sister. Always she had been the reasonable one, the more trustworthy and mature. She looked after me, tried to soothe my juvenile improvidence. Yes, perhaps that a bit of surprise for you but I've been a very rebellious child, the head full of nonsense and never following any regulations.

After I crashed that car, the present of for my 18th birthday, my mother forbade me to drive again. Naturally I wanted to disobey and then … Cathleen wanted to see a presentation, something cultural I hadn't any interest in. But I used that event to get my will, used her fable as an excuse to break the rules again. I stole my uncle's car and convinced her to come with me. I was so happy, so proud. I had shown it to all of them."

Tali had to lean over his shoulder to fetch the next words.

"There was a truck. The driver … he was a normal man, no monster, no criminal, only a driver forced to make double working shifts. He was tired. He lost control. Many people died that afternoon. I survived … but Cathleen …"

As good as possible with her arm in a sling Tali hugged him. Slowly Udina turned around, not willing to suppress or hide his tears any longer. Gently he lifted his hand and caressed Tali's arm and shoulder.

"You remember me of her; you did since we first met. Your curiosity, your joy of life and your drive to make something better for your people, these traits I saw in Cathleen too. You're soft and weak sometimes, but also willing to give your all for things and persons you view as worthwhile to fight for. As this Krogan attacked you, I couldn't stand aside. I saw Cathleen again and losing you would have been as if I betrayed her another time."