YAY! NEXT CHAPTAH! Har har... Anyway... Yes. Not sure what I can say... I'm sure many of you were upset with Xigbar after the last chapter. I know I was... (And I know you're saying, "How can you be upset with him!? YOU'RE the one that made him hurt Demdem!" And yes, you would be right... To an extent. See, as most writers know, characters tend to take on a personality of their own no matter how much you like to think you can plan what they'll do and control them... It doesn't work like that. They're going to do what their personality dictates. And Xigbar is not my character... HE CAME WITH THIS PERSONALITY. I don't get the chance to mold and shape him so I have to work with what I've got. And damn it, if Xiggy wants to slap people around with guns, who am I to tell him that's not what he would/should do? Anyway...) So yes...

Remember a few chapters ago how I told you we were peeking into Xigbar's past and what we learned there would be explored later on? Yeah... Well, this is THAT chapter. You pretty much get a front row seat to a heartbreaking story within the story type thing. Aren't you lucky? Well hopefully this chapter will help you understand a bit better where Xigbar is coming from and why he does the things he does. And from here on I think things are pretty much down hill as far as the relationship goes. There may be a few rocky patches along the way but nothing Xig and Dem can't handle.

This chapter is probably the shortest chapter ever. BOO! Anyway... Enjoy.

German name: Verständnis

English name: Understanding

Kraków, Poland
January 6, 1940

Xigbar sat staring out the window in his room. It was late. Most of the servants had gone to bed. Only Demyx was still awake. Xigbar could vaguely hear him playing the sitar. But the servant's window was not open for him to hear the music like it had been in the past. He poured himself another shot of Vodka and downed it like he had the seven before it. He heard a knock on his door and sighed. "It's open."

Axel opened the door and stepped in. "Where's your boy?"

Xigbar groaned and turned away from Axel.

"Did I say something wrong?" He furrowed his brow and started toward his superior. "You seem down..."

Xigbar cocked an eyebrow. "Axel... What are we doing any of this for? People are dying. People are afraid of us... Children." Xigbar sighed. "I remember when waving at a child brought a smile to their face. Now they run..." He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eye. "I don't feel like a human. I feel like a monster... That's how everybody sees us."

"Only the Jews." Axel smirked and sat across from Xigbar. "What is really bothering you?"

"Love." Xigbar chuckled and shook his head. "Never thought I'd be concerning myself with that word again."

Axel nodded slowly. "Is it Luxord you're thinking about? Or is it Demyx?"

"Luxord is only a memory now. It does no good to dwell on the past... It's just that..." Xigbar sighed and shifted his weight. "Demyx makes me feel the way Luxord made me feel."

"It frightens you, doesn't it?" Axel looked out the open window quietly. "Love and loss... They go hand in hand you know."

"That's what frightens me. If I were to let him in... It would be just like what happened with Luxord. There is no way I can save him from his fate." Xigbar poured another shot of Vodka and downed it quickly.

"Xigbar, that was over twenty years ago. You were young... Things could be different now. You can learn from the mistakes you've made in the past." Axel smiled. "Perhaps letting love in would be good for you."

"For now. But not in the long run." Xigbar sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"It feels good to love someone..." Axel shrugged and stood. "Just a thought... Anyhow, I came to tell you that Larxene's transfer has been moved up. She should be in our division around the fifteenth. Figured you'd like to know."

Xigbar nodded. "Yes... Well, thank you." He waited quietly for Axel to leave before he stood and walked to the table where he sat the Vodka down. He peeled his clothing off and started into the bathroom. The room felt emptier than usual. He sighed and leaned against the wall just inside deciding after a moment that he didn't really want to take a bath. He turned back into his bedroom and tugged his pants back on. He made his way to the bedroom door and started out. He paused and closed the door and then opened it again. "I don't know what I want... Do I?" He sighed and shook his head. He stepped out of his room and across the hall. Before he could change his mind again he grabbed the door knob on Demyx's door and started in.

Demyx's gaze flew to Xigbar and his fingers froze over the strings of the sitar. He stared at the older man quietly, half afraid.

Xigbar swallowed hard and took a step toward Demyx. The bruise was still apparent on the younger man's face, a horrible reminder of Xigbar's inability to keep his insecurities collected inside of him. "Demyx..." He stood before Demyx and stared down at him quietly.

Demyx blinked up at his master curiously. "S-sir?"

"I... Demyx..." Xigbar grabbed Demyx's head in his hands and kissed him softly. He let his kiss fall and pulled Demyx into an embrace. "I'm so sorry... I... You were right. We're lovers. Lovers... I shouldn't have hit you. You mean so much to me. Don't be angry. Please..."

Demyx wrapped his arms around Xigbar hesitantly and let out a shuddering breath. "I love you."

"I love you... It's not just the alcohol talking. I really do love you." Xigbar clung to Demyx tightly. "I'm a bad person... I am just like all the others."

"No... You have compassion and a heart!" Demyx looked up at Xigbar with tear filled eyes. "You're a good person. I know that more than anyone..."

"Demyx I hit you. I left this horrid bruise on you beautiful face..." Xigbar pulled Demyx as close to himself as he could force his servant and wiped the tears from the younger man's face. "I've hurt you... Inside and out. You should hate me."

"I can't hate you. Not when I don't know why you're rejecting me." Demyx pressed his lips against Xigbar's chest and rested his head there happily. "Please... Tell me why you are so afraid of love."

"I... It's... Not that simple." Xigbar sighed and pulled away from Demyx slowly. "You're... You're not the first. There was another man... A man named Luxord. He... He was my whole life." Xigbar looked away from Demyx as though he was ashamed of himself. "Luxord was a prisoner of war during the Great War. I was just a soldier... Just a guard in the camp. There were many men there... Most of them good people. They just wanted to be home with their families. They didn't want to die for their country. I couldn't stand the thought of being away from my family like that... Knowing I may never come home. I really felt for them... And then I met Luxord. He was unlike the rest of them... He had a sense of pride. He was happy to die for his country if it meant his wife and daughter would be happy and safe. He was proud to wear his British uniform... To him it was a symbol of his bravery. I befriended him. He was hesitant at first... But soon he realized that we had much in common. I too had a wife and a daughter... People for whom I was fighting to protect. People I loved. I'm not certain how things escalated into anything more but we began sneaking off together... We were intimate together, many times. He told me he loved me. That when the war was over, he thought I should move my family to London and stay with him and his family. I thought the idea was wonderful... I loved him. But we were so young. So foolish to believe things would work out so easily. We'd been together less than a year when finally the camp was cleared of all its prisoners. Not one of those men ever got to see their families again... Two years after the war ended I went to London. I searched out his family and I told them what a wonderful man he was... That he never once stopped thinking about them. His wife spit in my face. Told me I was a murderer and monster... And she was right. I didn't save him... I couldn't have saved him... And that's why I... I..."

"Oh Xigbar..." Demyx wrapped his arms around his master and pulled him close. "I'm so sorry... I kept pushing. I didn't even know..."

"How could you know? I never let anyone see what's inside. My nephew Axel... He knows the story. And only because I told him one night in a drunken stupor, kind of like I'm doing with you now... But..." Xigbar rested his head on Demyx's. "You understand now... And I'm sorry. It wasn't fair of me to expect you to understand before now. But it frightens me... You make me feel the same way that Luxord made me feel. I love you... I desperately want to protect you but I know I can't. I'm helpless..."

"Things are different. Xigbar, I won't leave you. I won't be killed. I mean... It's just you and me. Circumstances are different this time around." Demyx smiled. "I'm yours for the rest of our lives..."

"There are things you don't know Demyx... Plans we have made. But..." Xigbar stood slowly. "I suppose I do at least have a chance of saving you. Things can be different... After all, Xemnas really likes you. He had nothing but praise. I could save you afterall..."

Demyx smiled and nodded. "See? Everything will be alright. I just hope you feel the same when you're sober..." He chuckled and toyed with Xigbar's hair. "But you will... Right?" Demyx laid on the bed and pulled Xigbar to lay beside him. He ran his fingers through the older man's hair and smiled. "Stay with me tonight... Please."

Xigbar nodded softly and closed his eye. "Alright..." He rested his head against Demyx's and sighed. "We probably shouldn't share a bed... If someone were to barge in..." He laughed and draped an arm over the younger man. "Oh well... Let them come. Let them all come! I am unashamed!"

Demyx chuckled. "You are very drunk Xigbar... Get some rest. Sleep it off. We'll talk again in the morning..." Demyx pressed his lips against Xigbar's forehead and smiled. "I love you..."

"I love you too Demyx." Xigbar yawned and snuggled closer. "I love you too."