Chapter 10

"Alright kid, talk." Laxus ordered as he dropped her on the couch, sitting himself on the table in front of her.

Lucy groaned and put her head in her hands. "I fucked up, I fucked up my heart, I fucked up my head, I just...fucked everything up." She looked up at the shocked face of her honorary brother, probably because of her language choice. "I'm the reason I can't be happy, I'm the reason that I can't protect my heart. Fuck, I'm the reason I'm not with my goddamn team anymore!" She shot up from the couch and started pacing around the room. "I'm the reason Natsu doesn't know he was almost a father and I'm the reason the baby died! I'm the fucking reason I can't see Aquarius again! And I'm the goddamn reason that Levy is the happiest fucking bitch in the world right now!" She grabbed a lamp off the table and threw it across the room, watching it shatter.

"Alright, stop." Laxus stood up and strolled towards her, hugging her from behind to trap her arms as she was reaching for another object to throw.

She struggled against him and started kicking her legs back and forth. "God Dammit, you fucking bastard! Let me go! It's my fucking fault! I shattered my own fucking heart! And it's never going back together! I deserve this! I deserve to never be happYAACK! What the fuck?!"

"Will you shut up!" Laxus growled as he pulled his magic back into himself. Once she stopped twitching from the shock he gave her, she went limp in his arms. "Now, if you really think it's your fault, then why don't you try to fix it? Why don't you stop being a whiny bitch and fix it?! I can't fucking fix it for you! Sure, I can maybe give you advice, but it's ultimately up to you!" He sighed when he smelt salt, and mentally smacked himself for yelling at her.

"I don't know how, Laxus. I don't know how to fix it." She whispered as he dragged her back to the couch. He put them back in their previous positions and grabbed her hands.

"I know this has something to do with Gajeel, so why don't you tell me about it, like you said you would."

She sighed at the pointed look he was giving her. "Yeah, fine."

"From the beginning."

"Ugh..okay...so, it started on that mission we went on, to get some bandits."

"Shit, that long ago?"

"Yes. Anyways, he made me mad right before the fight, so I decided to make him mad, and then we were both mad...uhh...then we had sex."

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"Right there?!"

"Yes! Fuck!"

"What about the bandits?"

"We were done by then."

"...okay, so...what next?"

She had to stifle her laughter at how uncomfortable Laxus looked right then. "Well, he asked me out, and I said no, so he called me a slut, and I got mad. We just kept fighting, and then we wound up fucking each other again on the train."

"Hold on…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't understand why you would fuck him if you're mad at him."

"Uhh..well, it's hard to explain. It was like we weren't able to control ourselves when we got worked up like that, and it's always been like that. It was always so hot, and that look in his eyes...ughh...I just can't help it! He makes my blood boil! " She raises her hands as she sighs loudly.

"Let me get this straight. Every time you two looked like you were about to kill each other, you were actually.."

"About to fuck each other's brains out? Yes, exactly."

Laxus grimaced. "So, he asked you out, and you said no?"

"Yeah...he's been asking ever since then, and I always said no."

Laxus noticed that her face morphed into a saddened expression. "Why did you say no?"

"I thought...I thought that I was doing right by my heart."

"You thought you were protecting yourself from getting hurt again." Laxus nodded. "And now he's with Levy."

"Yeah...I don't think I can fix this. I realized too late that I love him."

"Why don't you tell him?"

"I did...he got mad. Which is understandable."

"Mmm" Laxus leaned back and stared at the ceiling. After a long moment he sighed and looked back at Lucy. "Alright, get up."

"Huh?" She tilted her head and let out a small eep when he dragged her to stand up.

"As for all the shit you said earlier about how it's all your fault, you need to pull your head out of your ass. We could play the blame game all goddamn day, but the fact is, shit happens, so get over it. Blaming yourself is pointless and will get you nowhere. Now you're gonna start fixing your shit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and fix what you can, say fuck it to what you can't, and move on."

She sighed, "you're right."

"I'm always right." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes, "good luck trying to get your head through the door."

"Don't need to, I can teleport. Now get going." He smacked her ass as she turned to leave.

"Eek! Incest!" She puffed her cheeks and glared at him, which made him bust out laughing.

"Nothing wrong with it." He gave her a wink.

"Oh yeah? How's Mira, by the way. She seemed weird last time I talked to her."

Laxus froze. "Ah...yeah, I'm late for our date...shit."

Lucy paled, "you're keeping a demon waiting...because you're talking to another girl...oh god."

"Yeah...I need to go. But she knows youre my little sis, so...you're safe. Me, on the other hand.."

She laughed as he turned to lightning and flashed away.

She stared at the doors to the guild, hesitant to push the doors open. She usually wasn't nervous to enter the place she called home, but she wasn't sure how things were gonna play out today, so she was scared. She took a deep breath and finally opened the doors. The guild was rowdy for sure. They must be celebrating the new couple. Her heart sank when her eyes zeroed in on them. They were sitting together, with Levy reading a book in his lap. His eyes connected to her's for a second, before he turned to glare at a wall. So, he clearly didn't even want to see her yet. She sighed lightly and looked around. She spotted her team at a table, laughing away at something. She took one more deep breath and decided to start now. She knew it would take a long time to sort everything out, so she decided to start with her best friend, the person who will probably always mean the most to her. Her heart still ached at the thought of her ruining their friendship, and she couldn't stand it anymore. So, she walked up to their table and lightly tapped his shoulder. He turned to her with a surprised expression, and all conversation at the table stopped. Ugh, well this is awkward. "Hey, Natsu."

"Hey, Luce. What's up?" He tilted his head, and her heart ached even more. She couldn't believe how weird it was for her to come up to him like this.

"Well..I was wondering if maybe you would want to go on a mission with me?" She shuffled on her feet and scratched her arm.

He looked at Lisanna, who was looking worriedly between the two. "Is that cool, Lis?"

She inhaled sharply and shakily replied, "if you want to, it's fine with me."

"Thanks, Lis." He gave her a quick peck on the lips, and jumped up. "Alright, let's go pick a mission!" He grinned and ran to the request board.

Lucy did her best to smile at the rest of the team, and went to join him at the board. "You can pick it out."

He tilted his head, "you sure?" She nodded and he snatched one to shove it in her face. "How's his one?"

She crossed her eyes to read that it was to stop a monster that's been raging through some towns for 100,000 j. "Looks great."

"Awesome! Lemme just tell Happy."

"Actually, I was hoping it would just be me and you...without Happy."

A strange look passed through his eyes, and he hesitantly nodded. "Alright, if that's what you want."

Her chest hurt while they walked out of the guild, he was being careful around her, she had herself to blame for that she supposed. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, he had his hands deep in his pockets, and a serious expression on his face. "Hey, Natsu?"

"Yeah?"

"I was hoping we could use this mission to talk...about things." She grabbed her arm and looked at him pleadingly.

He sighed and kicked a rock. "Yeah, I guess it's about time, huh?"

"Mmm...well, I'll see you at the train station."

"Alright, Luce."

She waved at him and went into her apartment. She put on a black, strapless halter top with her black leather leggings. She was finally going to stop hiding her Aquawere' tattoo, and if anyone asked about it, she would tell the truth. No more hiding, no more keeping secrets.

They were sitting in a forest between two towns, roasting some chicken in front of the fire. She decided this was the best time to talk while they waited for this creature thing. "I'm sorry."

"Eh?"

"I'm sorry, Natsu. For the way I've been treating you guys lately. Especially you." She fiddled with the stick that held her piece of chicken.

"Is that because of what I did to you?" He looked down and fiddled with the fabric of his pants.

"No, I mean, it was at first. That's not the whole reason though."

His head shot up at that. "Did something else happen?"

She nodded and sighed. Well fuck it, it's now or never. "You got me pregnant, and I didn't know how to tell you." She looked over at him and had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing at the look on his face. "I'm not anymore though, so it's okay."

He snapped out of his daze, and glared at her. "What the hell do you mean 'not anymore'?!"

She was slightly taken back that he was mad about it. "Ummm..well I lost it." Oh god now she was feeling horrible. "I couldn't protect it, and the baby died when those mages attacked me a while ago. The last time I was allowed to take a mission alone." She couldn't bring herself to look at him now. He was most likely mad at her for being so stupid. Her eyes went wide when she felt herself being crushed into his warm chest. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him, and let out the breath that she was holding.

"How the hell could you say that it's okay?! God, I should've known something was going on! I thought you were just mad at me."

She let out a choked laugh and buried her head in his shoulder. "God, Natsu, I was never mad at you."

"You weren't?!" He practically yelled in her ear.

She shook her head. "I could never be mad at you, you're my best friend. I also figured you would want time to spend with Lisanna."

He pulled his head back to look into her eyes. "I love Lis, but you're my best friend, and I really missed you, Luce. I'm just...so sorry for that night. I'm really, really, really sorry."

She couldn't help but giggle at his puppydog eyes. "I'm not mad, and I know you're sorry, I don't blame you for it, but I still want to know why you did it."

He sighed and put his forehead on her's. "I was talking to Happy about how I liked Lis, and I didn't know if I liked you too. He said I should see which of you I liked more. I didn't realise til the morning after that I liked you a lot, but only because you're my closest friend. I was really drunk that night, and I guess I couldn't figure out the difference until I was sober."

She smiled, "I'm glad you figured it out, Natsu. It makes me happy that you found someone you love."

He gave her a big grin. "Thanks, Luce!" He then pulled them both up. "Let's go catch this thing! I'm all fired up! Hahaha!"

She could help but laugh with him. "Let's go!" They gave each other a big high five. Suddenly, they both froze and looked at the fire to see their food burned. "The food!"

I'm giving out a big apology to everyone who follows this story, I know my updates have been slow, and I will shamefully admit that I've been spending more time on The Words I Couldn't Say. It seems like my average update time is about a week, so yeah, expect that, but I also wanna give you guys a big orgy to say thank you so much for your support! You guys are awesome! Mau! Muah! I will lick my cat for you!