If I Could Breathe

Chapter 10 - The Lie

He laid on his back, stomach clenching with hunger, eyes still foggy with sleep. He'd heard her voice. With a grunt, he rolled onto his side, bringing his body up to his knees. He crawled towards the light of the door, the shackle on his body tugging on his ankle, reminding him he wouldn't reach it. Defeated, he squeezed his eyes closed.

As if on cue, the door swung open and Daryl was blinded for a moment as a figure entered.

"Well Daryl," a deep voice bellowed, "today's your lucky day."

"How's that?" Daryl managed to mumble angrily up at Negan.

Negan laughed.

"You're gettin' out of here," he informed him simply.

It was a trick. It had to be. His first instinct was that Negan had done something awful to Beth.

"Where is she?" he growled at Negan.

"Who?" Negan asked.

"Fuck you," Daryl hissed. "Where's Beth?"

Negan chuckled again. "Oh she's here," he said. "She's just fine. Gave her a little proposition. A little somethin' to think about. Something she won't be able to resist." Negan squatted then, coming down to Daryl's level to look him in the eyes. "You won't have to worry about Beth for much longer," he said. "And that means, I won't have to worry about you much longer either."

Then, he smiled, stood up, and unlocked Daryl's ankle shackle, releasing him. Daryl scrambled away from the chains, rubbing his sore ankle as he made the move to stand up. "Fucking asshole," he whispered under his breath.

He'd threatened him, and Daryl knew that threat was real. Negan didn't scare him - he knew Beth would never fall for one of his dumb propositions. He was more worried that he'd hurt Beth, or worse, made some kind of perverted move on her.

"Maybe I am," Negan said with a smile, before turning his back to him and leaving the room.

The high sun outside blinded him. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust until finally, his surroundings came into view. There were crops and trees in the immediate distance. Off to his right, he saw Negan's figure moving towards a smaller one. Blonde and thin, Daryl knew instantly that it was Beth.

Though his body was sore and his eyes still a bit fuzzy, he jogged towards them just in time to see Negan pull his head lower and swipe a kiss across Beth's cheek.

Daryl saw red. The anger in him was uncontrollable. Beth stood still, her eyes closed, a slight tremble in her body. She hated him. Daryl could tell just from her body language. Everything about it screamed that she wanted to run away.

Negan looked over his shoulder then at Daryl, and winked.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at the man, furiously fighting back the urge to maul him, but kept his gait steady until he reached Beth.

"Beth," he whispered, and she turned towards him, her wide eyes looking up at him. She had that blank look on her face - the one she had before she was ready to fall apart. The skin underneath her eyes was red, as if she'd been awake for nights on end, and she was chewing her lip furiously. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes traveling across her face.

"Yeah," she answered with a deep breath. "Daryl, I…"

"Did he do anythin' to you?" Daryl heard himself say, cutting her off. "He hurt you, or try anythin'? I'll kill him, Beth, if he did anythin' to you…"

She looked down, at her feet. She was ashamed of something. "No," she said, shaking her head. She looked back up at him, meeting his gaze. "It's okay. He didn't hurt me or…anythin'. He's just…awful."

Daryl felt like his heart was going to stop. The anger, the frustration, the guilt was piling up inside of him that he felt like he might explode. He had the sudden urge to hug her. He'd been so worried about her and Jesus, he missed her. So without thinking about anything too much, he pulled her into his arms.

He was met with surprise - a little resistance, until he felt her melt against his chest, nestling into the perfect spot on his breastbone. He leaned in a little, just to inhale her scent. He'd been so used to having Beth with him. Spoiled. He'd taken her for granted.

"God Beth," he spoke into her hair, "I'm so fucking sorry we're in this mess."

"It's not your fault," she said shaking her head. She was warm and small, but her presence felt so large to him. It was something he couldn't describe.

Beth pulled away from him, dropping her arms to her sides. There was something else. "What is it?" he asked gruffly.

"Negan - he asked me to be…ya know, one of his…wives." She choked the last word out unpleasantly.

"And what'd you say?" Daryl asked, afraid of the answer. Not that he thought she'd do it willingly. Just that he knew exactly how Negan would have threatened her.

"I told him I'd think about it. If he let you live among the community again."

"You serious?"

She nodded.

"Beth. No." His heart was pounding to match the rise in his blood pressure.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What else was I supposed to do Daryl?" she hissed. "After you attacked him, he told me you were lucky to still be alive!" Her breath caught in her throat, and she paused for a minute, looking away from him. "What was I supposed to do?"

She was right, he realized. He'd put them both in danger. Still. The idea of Beth having to sacrifice herself for him was too much for him to bear. The anger built, the thought of Negan alone with Beth, with his big smile, planted across his smug face. Daryl felt like he was going to explode.

Without another word or another glance at her, he spun on his heel and stormed away from Beth. He knew he should say something, he should tell her it wasn't her fault. But the anger had bubbled to the point of no return, and he left her behind him, calling out his name.

The sun had lowered significantly by the time he'd found rest on the side of a small creek. After taking a drink and washing his face, and walking the adrenaline out of his body, he was beginning to feel better. Daryl realized it had been a few days now since he'd actually killed a walker. Usually any frustration he'd had could be taken out on jamming a knife into a rotting brain, but here that hadn't been an option. Maybe that was why he'd burst as suddenly as he did.

He knew that wasn't the real reason, but the least he could do was try to convince himself.

The stream ran clear past him, over silver pebbles and gray sand. The sun above let him see his reflection. He stared at himself for quite some time, his eyes working over his thick eyebrows, overgrown hair, and crooked nose. All he'd wanted was to give Beth a slice of happiness. He hadn't wanted this. He wanted things to be good for them. But nothing ever seemed to swing in their favor.

His boot came down into the water, splashing cool liquid into the air, angrily breaking up his reflection.

Suddenly, a loud moan came from the distance. Instinctively, Daryl rose, reaching for a knife that wasn't there. Negan's men had taken it. But the source of the noise was unmistakable.

A walker.

His eyes narrowed in confusion. They'd been told there weren't any walkers on the island. So what had he heard? His curiosity spiked. His reflection forgotten, he headed in the direction of the sound.

What he found, a quarter of a mile later, was exactly what he'd thought he'd heard. Moans, groans, bumps, and bites came from the inside of a small, wooden hut, similar to the one Daryl had been locked in himself. It was a pen full of walkers.

There was a reason they were all locked up here like this. But Daryl wasn't going to take the risk in trying to find out why. Instead, he picked up the sharpest rock he could find and unlatched the locked wooden door. The distinct smell of rotten flesh and decaying bodies drifted out into the salty air. His stomach turned, the smell much worse than he remembered it being.

The first one stumbled out, and Daryl went to work.

He didn't know how he made his way back, only that he did. He was soaked in guts, his shirt splattered with brains, arms, and shoulders covered with blood, his face and hair covered with a mixture of the two. He was sure he looked insane waltzing up to their little party in the state he was in, but Daryl didn't care.

At the far end of the hut, Beth sat next to Negan. He had his arm around her, and she leaned into him awkwardly, with raised shoulders and tucked arms. He grinned like a pig in shit, and she looked like she could burst into tears at any moment. It felt like a punch in the gut. Daryl had done this to her.

As soon as Negan got a good look at Daryl though, his smile faded and Beth's jaw dropped. Some of the people around him shrieked as he walked across the large floor of the hut. He supposed he probably looked like a walker himself, covered in blood, moving slowly. But he wasn't going to hurt anyone. Unless it was Negan.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Negan asked angrily, walking up to meet Daryl.

It took Daryl a minute to catch his breath. "Found your walkers."

"Walkers?"

"Your dead. Found 'em all locked up in a little wooden shack a few miles away from here." He looked around at the people, all of whom looked extremely frightened of him.

"Did you kill them, Daryl?" Negan asked.

"Of course I killed them."

A few audible gasps from the crowd around him told him that it wasn't the answer any of them were looking for. Negan frowned at him, crossing his arms. "And why, dear, fucking, GOD, would you go and do that?"

Daryl's eyes widened as he looked back at Negan. "Because they're walkers."

"They're still our people," a woman from the crowd said.

"They're our family," another man said.

"They're dead," Daryl said, rationally. "They'll eat you. If they escape—"

"Now, now," Negan said with a grimace on his face. "Let's discuss what this is really about."

"Wha—?"

Negan's eyes narrowed at Daryl. "You're just pissed I slept with Beth on our run the other day." He gave him a maniacal smile, then turned to address the crowd around them. "You all saw him the other day! He's uncontrollable! Beth must have told him about our night together, and he killed our friends - our family, in a fit of rage!" His voice rose as he spoke, and to his horror, all Daryl saw were nodding faces.

He dropped the sharp stone he'd still been holding with a thud on the floor and lowered his gaze to find Beth's. But she was looking at the floor, her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

"You're all fucking crazy," Daryl whispered to Negan, before leaving the hut again.

A/N: Whoa! Long hiatus here. Glad to be back. Been working on a personal project for some time now, but I needed a break. Hoping to finish this story soon. I only have three chapters left. Thanks for reading!