Kilik:Shinigami no kamikaze does not own Gundam Wing, just like she hasn't owned Gundam Wing for the last 8 parts (9, counting prologue).
Hwoarang: Look who finally decided to write something!
SnK:Oh, shut up. I've been working on that page of mine *coughhttp://www.geocities.com/shinigaminokamikaze/cough* in case FFnet goes down again.
Hwoarang: I was kind of hoping you were in a coma.
SnK: *eye twitch* Hwoarang... just one more word... and I will do something drastic...
Hwoarang:Like what?
SnK:*growls* Like digging out your voicebox with a dull, rusty spoon and nailing it to my wall!
Hwoarang&Kilik: O.O
SnK:*coughs* ...sorry... I get a little irritable when I don't sleep much...
Hwoarang:...that's an understatement.
Kilik:...yes... um, a friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, like it always has. Has had and possibly will still have cussing and angst. Well, angst is pretty much guaranteed.
Giving Away an Angel
Part 9
by Shinigami no kamikaze (shinigaminokamikaze@yahoo.com)
Wufei sat across from Heero's unconscious form. The straps holding him to the bed were meaningless gestures. There was no doubt in Wufei's mind that even now, injured as he was, Yuy could snap them. However, Heero was now under 24 hour observation due to his little escapade with the security guard in what appeared to be a failed suicide attempt. At least, that's what the security camera footage suggested... though how it failed, no one could say for certain.
Was there nothing normal about this case? Wufei had seen the gun that.. somehow.. Yuy had managed to misfire at point blank range. The thing about it was that the gun never should have been able to go off in the first place... the very metal of pistol had been twisted. Damned old security cams couldn't give a clear enough picture to even begin to understand what had happened there.
But, what did it really matter? So Yuy had failed. Why was it that he attempted in the first place? Wufei couldn't claim to be an expert on the human mind, but he would think that Yuy would wait to see if Maxwell's condition improved before taking a step as drastic as that. That is, if Yuy was completely innocent.
Even if he was guilty of wrong doing, wouldn't he see if Maxwell just died, thereby eliminating any known witness to what had happened? Or maybe his suicide attempt was all about the guilt...
Wufei shook his head. He just didn't know. Was his need to place the blame.. to know and punish those responsible... overriding his judgment? Maybe all the stress had gotten had gotten to Yuy... maybe there were a million other explanations Wufei didn't know about... Hell, here he was overanalyzing again.
Wufei stood. He wasn't going to do any good here. He guessed he had better go tell Winner what had happened... and he didn't think the blonde was going to take the news very well..
---
"Your mind is full of enemies
The room is full of energies
Haunting your soul
They're all around you
And you're on your own," sang the voice in the background, and Quatre finally turned the CD player off. This wasn't helping. Nothing was helping!
Quatre rubbed his temples. He wasn't sure much longer he could keep this up. His hope was slowly draining away from him with each passing hour... and with his hope, so slowly went his will to live...
He tried to shake the disturbing thoughts away. Not yet... it wasn't over yet. He tried to think of anything he hadn't tried... anything he hadn't said..
An idea came to him. "Duo...", he started softly, "Are you afraid of waking up? Is that why you won't come back?"
No reply. Not that he expected differently.
"You told me when we first met... you run and hide, but never lie. Are you running? Are you hiding?"
Still nothing.
"...now that I think about it, I remember this dream... Trowa came to me. He told me he didn't think you're as happy as you'd like us to believe. Have you always been hiding, Duo?"
During his pause, Wufei stepped into the room. Quatre pulled his eyes away from Duo to gaze at the Asian. Judging by his face, he didn't have good news.
"Winner, something's happened."
By his tone of voice, Quatre could tell it was very serious. He got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach... there really could only be one person this was about, "To Heero, hasn't it?"
Wufei nodded slowly, "He tried to commit suicide, or at least, that what it looks like."
Quatre jumped up, "What?"
"He got out of his room, and stole a guard's gun. He looked like he was going to shot himself, but then something happened," Wufei explained, but by that time, Quatre had stopped listening to him.
"I should have seen this coming," he murmured softly. Before Wufei could reply, Quatre raised his voice, "I should have been there for him, too! I should have known this would affect him. I should have done something!"
Wufei had worried this would happen.
"Do not place blame for this on yourself.. Quatre," he said, tentatively using the Arabian's first name. "You couldn't have known."
"I--", Quatre stopped short when he thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to face Duo, unintentionally holding his breath. Wufei was silent as well, and they watched as Duo's eyelids twitched. As he stirred, both Wufei and Quatre were too shocked to do anything.
Duo opened his eyes slowly, already all too aware of the pain that seemed wrapped around him. All at once, any recollection of what he'd experienced while comatose fled while his last conscious memories came flooding back. Confused and afraid, his eyes darted around the room, trying to figure out what had happened... what was happening.
Quatre rushed over to Duo once he'd regained his senses, Wufei only a step behind, and Duo drew back from the sudden movement, still unsure of what was going on.
"It's okay, Duo. Everything's fine. You're safe," Quatre soothed, lightly placing one of his hands over Duo's. Duo looked up into his eyes, and it almost made Quatre step back a pace... there was so much pain in those violet orbs...
"Who did this?! Who was it?" Wufei demanded, and Duo visibly shrunk. Before he realized the mistake he had made, Wufei was forcibly pushed back by Quatre. Taken aback by Quatre's sudden vehemence, and by the look in the blonde's eyes, he retreated a further step.
"You're scaring him," Quatre practically hissed under his breath, in complete 'protection' mode, "There'll be time for question's later." Wufei didn't have time to apologize or even blink before Quatre was right back at Duo's side comforting him again.
Duo was overwhelmed. The last thing he remembered was thinking Heero was going to kill him... but how had he gotten here? Where was here? Why were Wufei and Quatre here? And why did Wufei seem angry? It was too much! How was he supposed to deal with all this at once? His whole body shook, and he wasn't sure if it was from his injuries or from his stress.
"Wufei, call the nurse!" Quatre cried, watching Duo's trembling and accelerated heartbeat. "Calm down, Duo... It's alright... everything's going to be okay..."
Wufei did as he was told while Duo finally found his voice, "...where?"
"You're in the hospital... no one will hurt you here... you were in a coma," Quatre told him softly, trying to keep the strain out of his voice. "Do you remember why?"
Duo looked straight up at Quatre with soul torn eyes that had begun to sparkle with unshed tears, and whispered, "...yes..."
Before Quatre could find out what was causing Duo such anguish, a nurse accompanied by a doctor came in and ordered them out. Reluctantly, they both obeyed, and stood looking dejected outside the door while the medical personnel took care of Duo.
"...what did he tell you?", Wufei asked quietly.
"That he remembers why he ended up here." Quarte answered distantly, too busy trying to figure out what was wrong with the American emotionally... that look was not simply fear or hurt... that look was pure suffering.
Wufei's eyes widened, "He knows his attacker?"
"I can't be sure. I was taken away too quickly," Quatre sighed. Just then, the door opened again, and the doctor stepped out.
"It appears that given proper care, he'll be just fine," the doctor told them, "He's sleeping normally now. We'll have to make sure he doesn't get as agitated as he was... He's going to need to take it easy and give his body a chance to repair itself... It would probably be best if you two came back tomorrow during visiting hours, to give him a chance to adjust. Our staff will be here if he needs them."
Wufei simply nodded, while Quatre looked like he wanted to argue, but decided it was best to let it go. The nurse then exited Duo's room as well, and she and the doctor both left.
"I guess I'll go see if I can talk to Heero...", Quatre said quietly.
"Don't bother, I just came from there. They've put him under as well," Wufei turned and studied Quatre's face. "I'd recommend that you get some rest... you look like you haven't been getting enough, and there's nothing else either of us can do right now."
Quatre smiled weakly, "I suppose you're right." The smile faded, "Are you going to question Duo tomorrow?"
Wufei paused a moment before responding, "If he's up to it, yes."
"I want to be there."
Wufei wondered why, but simply replied, "Alright, I don't see why that should be a problem."
With that, the two went their separate ways... Quatre to seek a meal and a bed, Wufei to meditate.
---
Trowa got up off the floor. Heero and the guard he'd knocked out were gone, but that didn't surprise Trowa, and he wasn't worried about either of them. So, forgetting about Heero for the moment, Trowa went off to check up on Duo.
Immediately when he walked into the room, he knew something was different. For one thing, it was visiting hours, but Quatre wasn't there. Trowa walked over, and examined the EKG's printout. The had been a sudden jump in Duo's heartbeat... Trowa looked back over at Duo. Had he woken up?
Walking up beside Duo, Trowa put his hand into Duo's forehead, as he did to gain access to dreams. Nothing was there... like a dreamless sleep... like when he'd been expelled from Duo's subconscious before. Pulling his hand back, he wondered if that was because he'd been given some drug to help him sleep.. or maybe he'd just come in at the wrong time... he had no way of being certain.
Even though it seemed Duo had at least come out of the coma, Trowa did not feel as relieved as he would have liked. There were so many other obstacles... he would not be put at ease until Duo was happy again...
"I'll be back later, Duo..", He murmured as he got up to leave. He needed to make sure Heero was alive somewhere, to check up on Quatre...
On his way to Heero's hospital room, Trowa wondered if he'd made the right decision by stopping Heero. Should he have just let him die? Would it be worse for Duo to know Heero had committed suicide, or would it be worse for him see Heero again? There was no way of telling...
Noting the guards placed on the door, Trowa stepped in. Heero was unconscious, and, most importantly, still alive. After a moment of thought, Trowa stepped forward and placed his hand in Heero's forehead as he'd done with Duo, and found the same blank...
Trowa needed to know where Heero stood. Was he the same person with the kind heart who was his friend? If so, what the Hell had happened? Had the training he went through as a child finally taken its toll on Heero, and completely erased his soul? After seeing Heero cry... the pain he seemed to be going through... Trowa just wasn't sure anymore. Was Heero really the enemy? He wanted so badly to make him pay for what he'd done to Duo.
But now that it appeared Duo might recover... now that he had a clearer picture of things, and more time to think.. what would that actually accomplish? Although he couldn't be sure, he didn't think that was what Duo would want. But... they couldn't simply do nothing about it...
Trowa sighed, and resolved to take a look into Heero's dreams when he got the chance. He could think more of it then.
Now, to find Quatre..
---
Quatre picked at the food on his plate while the Maganacs watched worriedly. He brought a fork full of pasta up off his plate and just looked at it for a few moments before putting it back down. He was too concerned about Duo to think about eating... The doctor seemed hopeful as far as his physical recovery, but judging by the look Duo'd given him, there were other wounds just as serious, if not more so.
And then there was Heero...
Sighing, he knew that he couldn't do anything about either of them but speculate until tomorrow, when he could at least get a chance to talk to Duo and Heero. Giving up on the idea of forcing food down his throat, Quatre quietly got up from his seat and headed up for his room, and his bed.
---
Standing over the sleeping form of his blonde angel, Trowa weighed visiting Quatre once more in his dreams and telling him what little information he'd learned in the American's nightmare, or to stay where he was and let Quatre continue to cope with the fact he was dead. Closing his eyes, he put his hand over Quatre, and reached...
At the moment, Quatre was trapped beneath a rock, and unable to help a fuzzy brown kitten as it clung desperately to the edge of a cliff, violet eyes filled with fear and desperation. The Arabian was screaming in frustration, helpless as the kitten slipped further and further. Unhindered, Trowa was able to run to the kitten's rescue, grabbing it by the scruff of the neck.
Quatre froze in recognition, and his eyes filled with tears, "Trowa..."
Trowa calmly walked over to him, freed him of the rock, and gave him the kitty. The feline seemed to be as frightened as it originally was, and Quatre began petting it absentmindedly as he gasped, "Oh, Trowa.. I'm so sorry... With all that's been going on.. I haven't--"
"Haven't done what, little one?" Trowa asked softly, as he gently put an arm around him, and brushed his bangs back, "Haven't tormented yourself because of me? Haven't lamented over what has past? I'm dead, and you owe nothing to me. I care for you, you know that... how will I be happy if you do nothing but waste away?"
"...I...," Quatre sniffled, "I.."
"Hush... you have to let go and move on, Quatre... ", Trowa whispered.
"I... I don't know if I can..."
"You can, I know you can. I'll always love you, Quatre... but don't spurn another's love because you feel you must remain loyal to me. I'll understand...," Trowa paused, wondering if he was pushing too fast, "In fact, I may come to care for them much the same way I do you..."
Quatre's eyes burrowed straight into Trowa's, and he breathed, "You really are Trowa, aren't you? Not just some dream... you're really him..."
Trowa nodded, "Yes... but I'm only--"
"No. I didn't think you'd come back to me...", Quatre managed a weak smile, "But, why are you here, then?"
Trowa was somewhat relieved. It appeared that Quatre had, at the very least, accepted his death. Now, would he be able to open his heart to another? "...I'd hoped I would be able to help you out with Duo..."
Quatre eyes widened, "Do you know about that? About the attack?"
Trowa knew too much about the attack. He did not like knowing what he did about Heero, "Yes."
"Do you know why it's hurt him so much? I am not talking about the injuries to his body... he was on the verge of tears, but there was more to it... I've never seen Duo like that."
Trowa inwardly winced, "I know some things about it, but not the whole story. I believe Duo will tell you about the attack itself, and once you know about it.. well, you'll think you know why... but there's something more, something he's been hiding for a long time."
Quatre was thoroughly confused, "...what do you mean?"
"Do you know anything about Duo's past? His childhood? Has he ever spoken to you directly about it?"
Quatre had to stop and think a moment. Somehow, through all that chatter of Duo's, it had never come up. If it had, it'd been brushed aside. "...no.."
"I can't say for certain, but I think some pretty bad things have happened to him... things he blames himself for... things that have hurt him." Trowa shook his head, "I can't say much more than that. Just make him open up about it... if he doesn't, I'm afraid of what will happen to him."
Quatre let the information sink in for a moment. "I'll try... but Duo can evade questions so easily... not even OZ got information he did not want to give out of him."
'Good point', Trowa thought to himself, and he had to pause a minute before he could give a reply. "...He's vulnerable now, unlike then.. and you'll soon see why. You may be able to reach out to him. But if he still won't talk... I just don't know, Quatre.."
"I was afraid of that." Quatre said with more than a touch of sorrow. He looked down at the little kitten he'd been unconsciously petting throughout the conversation. It was still afraid, trembling in Quatre's gentle hands.
~~~end
SnK: Ahhh... 'nother chapter done... by the way, the lyrics from the CD played in the beginning aren't mine (as if you haven't guessed). They're from Apoptygma Berzerk's song 'Paranoia', which just happened to be playing at the time I wrote it...
Hwoarang: Hey, I thought you actually planned this fic.
SnK: I did!
Hwoarang: Suuuure. The plan for the next part probably is one word: angst.
SnK: It is not! It's actua--hey! Did the G-boys pay you to get the ending ahead of time?
Hwoarang: *innocent look* Why would you ever think that?
SnK:Because they're impatient, and you're easily bought.
Hwoarang: I resent that!
SnK: You should.
Hwoarang: *mutters under his breath*
SnK:As always, please review... and please refrain from bribing Hwoarang...
Hwoarang: Look who finally decided to write something!
SnK:Oh, shut up. I've been working on that page of mine *coughhttp://www.geocities.com/shinigaminokamikaze/cough* in case FFnet goes down again.
Hwoarang: I was kind of hoping you were in a coma.
SnK: *eye twitch* Hwoarang... just one more word... and I will do something drastic...
Hwoarang:Like what?
SnK:*growls* Like digging out your voicebox with a dull, rusty spoon and nailing it to my wall!
Hwoarang&Kilik: O.O
SnK:*coughs* ...sorry... I get a little irritable when I don't sleep much...
Hwoarang:...that's an understatement.
Kilik:...yes... um, a friendly reminder, this fic contains shounen ai, like it always has. Has had and possibly will still have cussing and angst. Well, angst is pretty much guaranteed.
Giving Away an Angel
Part 9
by Shinigami no kamikaze (shinigaminokamikaze@yahoo.com)
Wufei sat across from Heero's unconscious form. The straps holding him to the bed were meaningless gestures. There was no doubt in Wufei's mind that even now, injured as he was, Yuy could snap them. However, Heero was now under 24 hour observation due to his little escapade with the security guard in what appeared to be a failed suicide attempt. At least, that's what the security camera footage suggested... though how it failed, no one could say for certain.
Was there nothing normal about this case? Wufei had seen the gun that.. somehow.. Yuy had managed to misfire at point blank range. The thing about it was that the gun never should have been able to go off in the first place... the very metal of pistol had been twisted. Damned old security cams couldn't give a clear enough picture to even begin to understand what had happened there.
But, what did it really matter? So Yuy had failed. Why was it that he attempted in the first place? Wufei couldn't claim to be an expert on the human mind, but he would think that Yuy would wait to see if Maxwell's condition improved before taking a step as drastic as that. That is, if Yuy was completely innocent.
Even if he was guilty of wrong doing, wouldn't he see if Maxwell just died, thereby eliminating any known witness to what had happened? Or maybe his suicide attempt was all about the guilt...
Wufei shook his head. He just didn't know. Was his need to place the blame.. to know and punish those responsible... overriding his judgment? Maybe all the stress had gotten had gotten to Yuy... maybe there were a million other explanations Wufei didn't know about... Hell, here he was overanalyzing again.
Wufei stood. He wasn't going to do any good here. He guessed he had better go tell Winner what had happened... and he didn't think the blonde was going to take the news very well..
---
"Your mind is full of enemies
The room is full of energies
Haunting your soul
They're all around you
And you're on your own," sang the voice in the background, and Quatre finally turned the CD player off. This wasn't helping. Nothing was helping!
Quatre rubbed his temples. He wasn't sure much longer he could keep this up. His hope was slowly draining away from him with each passing hour... and with his hope, so slowly went his will to live...
He tried to shake the disturbing thoughts away. Not yet... it wasn't over yet. He tried to think of anything he hadn't tried... anything he hadn't said..
An idea came to him. "Duo...", he started softly, "Are you afraid of waking up? Is that why you won't come back?"
No reply. Not that he expected differently.
"You told me when we first met... you run and hide, but never lie. Are you running? Are you hiding?"
Still nothing.
"...now that I think about it, I remember this dream... Trowa came to me. He told me he didn't think you're as happy as you'd like us to believe. Have you always been hiding, Duo?"
During his pause, Wufei stepped into the room. Quatre pulled his eyes away from Duo to gaze at the Asian. Judging by his face, he didn't have good news.
"Winner, something's happened."
By his tone of voice, Quatre could tell it was very serious. He got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach... there really could only be one person this was about, "To Heero, hasn't it?"
Wufei nodded slowly, "He tried to commit suicide, or at least, that what it looks like."
Quatre jumped up, "What?"
"He got out of his room, and stole a guard's gun. He looked like he was going to shot himself, but then something happened," Wufei explained, but by that time, Quatre had stopped listening to him.
"I should have seen this coming," he murmured softly. Before Wufei could reply, Quatre raised his voice, "I should have been there for him, too! I should have known this would affect him. I should have done something!"
Wufei had worried this would happen.
"Do not place blame for this on yourself.. Quatre," he said, tentatively using the Arabian's first name. "You couldn't have known."
"I--", Quatre stopped short when he thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to face Duo, unintentionally holding his breath. Wufei was silent as well, and they watched as Duo's eyelids twitched. As he stirred, both Wufei and Quatre were too shocked to do anything.
Duo opened his eyes slowly, already all too aware of the pain that seemed wrapped around him. All at once, any recollection of what he'd experienced while comatose fled while his last conscious memories came flooding back. Confused and afraid, his eyes darted around the room, trying to figure out what had happened... what was happening.
Quatre rushed over to Duo once he'd regained his senses, Wufei only a step behind, and Duo drew back from the sudden movement, still unsure of what was going on.
"It's okay, Duo. Everything's fine. You're safe," Quatre soothed, lightly placing one of his hands over Duo's. Duo looked up into his eyes, and it almost made Quatre step back a pace... there was so much pain in those violet orbs...
"Who did this?! Who was it?" Wufei demanded, and Duo visibly shrunk. Before he realized the mistake he had made, Wufei was forcibly pushed back by Quatre. Taken aback by Quatre's sudden vehemence, and by the look in the blonde's eyes, he retreated a further step.
"You're scaring him," Quatre practically hissed under his breath, in complete 'protection' mode, "There'll be time for question's later." Wufei didn't have time to apologize or even blink before Quatre was right back at Duo's side comforting him again.
Duo was overwhelmed. The last thing he remembered was thinking Heero was going to kill him... but how had he gotten here? Where was here? Why were Wufei and Quatre here? And why did Wufei seem angry? It was too much! How was he supposed to deal with all this at once? His whole body shook, and he wasn't sure if it was from his injuries or from his stress.
"Wufei, call the nurse!" Quatre cried, watching Duo's trembling and accelerated heartbeat. "Calm down, Duo... It's alright... everything's going to be okay..."
Wufei did as he was told while Duo finally found his voice, "...where?"
"You're in the hospital... no one will hurt you here... you were in a coma," Quatre told him softly, trying to keep the strain out of his voice. "Do you remember why?"
Duo looked straight up at Quatre with soul torn eyes that had begun to sparkle with unshed tears, and whispered, "...yes..."
Before Quatre could find out what was causing Duo such anguish, a nurse accompanied by a doctor came in and ordered them out. Reluctantly, they both obeyed, and stood looking dejected outside the door while the medical personnel took care of Duo.
"...what did he tell you?", Wufei asked quietly.
"That he remembers why he ended up here." Quarte answered distantly, too busy trying to figure out what was wrong with the American emotionally... that look was not simply fear or hurt... that look was pure suffering.
Wufei's eyes widened, "He knows his attacker?"
"I can't be sure. I was taken away too quickly," Quatre sighed. Just then, the door opened again, and the doctor stepped out.
"It appears that given proper care, he'll be just fine," the doctor told them, "He's sleeping normally now. We'll have to make sure he doesn't get as agitated as he was... He's going to need to take it easy and give his body a chance to repair itself... It would probably be best if you two came back tomorrow during visiting hours, to give him a chance to adjust. Our staff will be here if he needs them."
Wufei simply nodded, while Quatre looked like he wanted to argue, but decided it was best to let it go. The nurse then exited Duo's room as well, and she and the doctor both left.
"I guess I'll go see if I can talk to Heero...", Quatre said quietly.
"Don't bother, I just came from there. They've put him under as well," Wufei turned and studied Quatre's face. "I'd recommend that you get some rest... you look like you haven't been getting enough, and there's nothing else either of us can do right now."
Quatre smiled weakly, "I suppose you're right." The smile faded, "Are you going to question Duo tomorrow?"
Wufei paused a moment before responding, "If he's up to it, yes."
"I want to be there."
Wufei wondered why, but simply replied, "Alright, I don't see why that should be a problem."
With that, the two went their separate ways... Quatre to seek a meal and a bed, Wufei to meditate.
---
Trowa got up off the floor. Heero and the guard he'd knocked out were gone, but that didn't surprise Trowa, and he wasn't worried about either of them. So, forgetting about Heero for the moment, Trowa went off to check up on Duo.
Immediately when he walked into the room, he knew something was different. For one thing, it was visiting hours, but Quatre wasn't there. Trowa walked over, and examined the EKG's printout. The had been a sudden jump in Duo's heartbeat... Trowa looked back over at Duo. Had he woken up?
Walking up beside Duo, Trowa put his hand into Duo's forehead, as he did to gain access to dreams. Nothing was there... like a dreamless sleep... like when he'd been expelled from Duo's subconscious before. Pulling his hand back, he wondered if that was because he'd been given some drug to help him sleep.. or maybe he'd just come in at the wrong time... he had no way of being certain.
Even though it seemed Duo had at least come out of the coma, Trowa did not feel as relieved as he would have liked. There were so many other obstacles... he would not be put at ease until Duo was happy again...
"I'll be back later, Duo..", He murmured as he got up to leave. He needed to make sure Heero was alive somewhere, to check up on Quatre...
On his way to Heero's hospital room, Trowa wondered if he'd made the right decision by stopping Heero. Should he have just let him die? Would it be worse for Duo to know Heero had committed suicide, or would it be worse for him see Heero again? There was no way of telling...
Noting the guards placed on the door, Trowa stepped in. Heero was unconscious, and, most importantly, still alive. After a moment of thought, Trowa stepped forward and placed his hand in Heero's forehead as he'd done with Duo, and found the same blank...
Trowa needed to know where Heero stood. Was he the same person with the kind heart who was his friend? If so, what the Hell had happened? Had the training he went through as a child finally taken its toll on Heero, and completely erased his soul? After seeing Heero cry... the pain he seemed to be going through... Trowa just wasn't sure anymore. Was Heero really the enemy? He wanted so badly to make him pay for what he'd done to Duo.
But now that it appeared Duo might recover... now that he had a clearer picture of things, and more time to think.. what would that actually accomplish? Although he couldn't be sure, he didn't think that was what Duo would want. But... they couldn't simply do nothing about it...
Trowa sighed, and resolved to take a look into Heero's dreams when he got the chance. He could think more of it then.
Now, to find Quatre..
---
Quatre picked at the food on his plate while the Maganacs watched worriedly. He brought a fork full of pasta up off his plate and just looked at it for a few moments before putting it back down. He was too concerned about Duo to think about eating... The doctor seemed hopeful as far as his physical recovery, but judging by the look Duo'd given him, there were other wounds just as serious, if not more so.
And then there was Heero...
Sighing, he knew that he couldn't do anything about either of them but speculate until tomorrow, when he could at least get a chance to talk to Duo and Heero. Giving up on the idea of forcing food down his throat, Quatre quietly got up from his seat and headed up for his room, and his bed.
---
Standing over the sleeping form of his blonde angel, Trowa weighed visiting Quatre once more in his dreams and telling him what little information he'd learned in the American's nightmare, or to stay where he was and let Quatre continue to cope with the fact he was dead. Closing his eyes, he put his hand over Quatre, and reached...
At the moment, Quatre was trapped beneath a rock, and unable to help a fuzzy brown kitten as it clung desperately to the edge of a cliff, violet eyes filled with fear and desperation. The Arabian was screaming in frustration, helpless as the kitten slipped further and further. Unhindered, Trowa was able to run to the kitten's rescue, grabbing it by the scruff of the neck.
Quatre froze in recognition, and his eyes filled with tears, "Trowa..."
Trowa calmly walked over to him, freed him of the rock, and gave him the kitty. The feline seemed to be as frightened as it originally was, and Quatre began petting it absentmindedly as he gasped, "Oh, Trowa.. I'm so sorry... With all that's been going on.. I haven't--"
"Haven't done what, little one?" Trowa asked softly, as he gently put an arm around him, and brushed his bangs back, "Haven't tormented yourself because of me? Haven't lamented over what has past? I'm dead, and you owe nothing to me. I care for you, you know that... how will I be happy if you do nothing but waste away?"
"...I...," Quatre sniffled, "I.."
"Hush... you have to let go and move on, Quatre... ", Trowa whispered.
"I... I don't know if I can..."
"You can, I know you can. I'll always love you, Quatre... but don't spurn another's love because you feel you must remain loyal to me. I'll understand...," Trowa paused, wondering if he was pushing too fast, "In fact, I may come to care for them much the same way I do you..."
Quatre's eyes burrowed straight into Trowa's, and he breathed, "You really are Trowa, aren't you? Not just some dream... you're really him..."
Trowa nodded, "Yes... but I'm only--"
"No. I didn't think you'd come back to me...", Quatre managed a weak smile, "But, why are you here, then?"
Trowa was somewhat relieved. It appeared that Quatre had, at the very least, accepted his death. Now, would he be able to open his heart to another? "...I'd hoped I would be able to help you out with Duo..."
Quatre eyes widened, "Do you know about that? About the attack?"
Trowa knew too much about the attack. He did not like knowing what he did about Heero, "Yes."
"Do you know why it's hurt him so much? I am not talking about the injuries to his body... he was on the verge of tears, but there was more to it... I've never seen Duo like that."
Trowa inwardly winced, "I know some things about it, but not the whole story. I believe Duo will tell you about the attack itself, and once you know about it.. well, you'll think you know why... but there's something more, something he's been hiding for a long time."
Quatre was thoroughly confused, "...what do you mean?"
"Do you know anything about Duo's past? His childhood? Has he ever spoken to you directly about it?"
Quatre had to stop and think a moment. Somehow, through all that chatter of Duo's, it had never come up. If it had, it'd been brushed aside. "...no.."
"I can't say for certain, but I think some pretty bad things have happened to him... things he blames himself for... things that have hurt him." Trowa shook his head, "I can't say much more than that. Just make him open up about it... if he doesn't, I'm afraid of what will happen to him."
Quatre let the information sink in for a moment. "I'll try... but Duo can evade questions so easily... not even OZ got information he did not want to give out of him."
'Good point', Trowa thought to himself, and he had to pause a minute before he could give a reply. "...He's vulnerable now, unlike then.. and you'll soon see why. You may be able to reach out to him. But if he still won't talk... I just don't know, Quatre.."
"I was afraid of that." Quatre said with more than a touch of sorrow. He looked down at the little kitten he'd been unconsciously petting throughout the conversation. It was still afraid, trembling in Quatre's gentle hands.
~~~end
SnK: Ahhh... 'nother chapter done... by the way, the lyrics from the CD played in the beginning aren't mine (as if you haven't guessed). They're from Apoptygma Berzerk's song 'Paranoia', which just happened to be playing at the time I wrote it...
Hwoarang: Hey, I thought you actually planned this fic.
SnK: I did!
Hwoarang: Suuuure. The plan for the next part probably is one word: angst.
SnK: It is not! It's actua--hey! Did the G-boys pay you to get the ending ahead of time?
Hwoarang: *innocent look* Why would you ever think that?
SnK:Because they're impatient, and you're easily bought.
Hwoarang: I resent that!
SnK: You should.
Hwoarang: *mutters under his breath*
SnK:As always, please review... and please refrain from bribing Hwoarang...