Hello again everyone. I thought after that last cliffie i should get this posted. for anyone reading 'on the turning away' i promise i will resume posting that again shortly, i know it's been a long time :( ** hangs head in shame**. once again thank you all for the great reviews, they make my day!!!

OUT OF SIGHT, BUT IN MY MIND

Chapter 10

Dean sat on the bed, staring at Kerri— when had things gotten so screwed up? Life wasn't supposed to be like this, the future wasn't supposed to be like this. Dean knew dreaming was dangerous, had learned at a young age that praying brought nothing— but that hadn't stopped him. Kerri was just so alive, so different, so real, and Dean couldn't help but dream when he was around her. Whenever he looked at the redhead he saw a future, saw the possibilities of 'what if'. At some point all that changed, though, and Dean couldn't wrap his mind around it. They were supposed to be so much, supposed to last forever— they weren't supposed to vanish before thirty. When he looked at Kerri now, instead of seeing a future all he saw was a black hole. His anchor was failing.

Dean let out a long, shaky breath— he had to figure this out. He ran his hand up and down her arm, his heart aching as he touched her smooth skin. He never should have come back, never should have disrupted her life. She should have married Brian, should have been safe. But what her father had done to her all those years ago destroyed any chance of that future. Dean should have stayed away, he knew that— but he also knew he'd never be able to. He needed Kerri in his life, he always had, and he would be damned if he was going to lose her again.

"Kerri?" Dean began softly, holding the redhead's hand. "You there, Ker?"

He sat silently for a few minutes, willing Kerri to speak, praying to anyone who would listen for the younger girl to wake up. At that moment he would have done anything to see her blue eyes again. He'd managed to get into Evelyn's secret room, and what he'd seen had shaken the seasoned hunter to his core.

He sighed a few minutes later, Kerri remaining completely still.

"I don't know if you can hear me. You know I hate talking to myself. I mean, yeah I do it every now and again, well maybe more than now and again. But I don't like doing it cause it makes me seem crazy. And when I think I'm going crazy I get nervous and when I get nervous I talk more, which only makes me look more crazy. So, you know, if you wanna have any hope of holding off the crazy train you better wake up and tell me to snap out of it."

Dean spoke in a rush, barely breathing as the words tumbled from his mouth. He licked his dry lips, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. He couldn't lose it, not now. Sam was still possessed by Evelyn, even if the liar said otherwise. Dean needed to get them back to normal, it was all he could focus on.

"You gotta wake up, Kerri." Dean spoke after a moment, cursing under his breath when his voice wavered, a tear escaping his eye. This was worse than the painting, worse than the Watcher, worse than the Korrigan. Kerri was comatose, and Dean was terrified she would never wake again.

"I can't—. You can't go, Ker. You're not allowed to. Please, Kerri, please don't go."

Dean stopped talking, taking a moment to get his bearings. He looked down on his friend, smoothing out her hair as images of her life flashed before his eyes. He saw her at six, weary of the world— Stonewall Kerri. He saw her at eleven, her art growing, her smile bright. He saw her at thirteen, scaling the side of the house, battling in canoes, and camping outside his room after the black dog. He saw her at sixteen, taking on three burly men in a game of pool, holding her own the entire time. She was brave then, strong, poised to take on the world, poised to have a future. And he saw her at twenty eight, broken, fragile, the light in her eyes dull. Twenty nine years, summed up in a few short minutes, a few choice memories.

"You've always been there, Kerri, always been with me. I know I've promised before, but I swear if you wake up I'll fix this. I swear I will. You just have to wake up, you have to stay with me. You have to."

Dean wanted to scream, wanted to throw something, break something. Just a few more days, a little more information, just a little more time and he could save her. This couldn't all be over, not now.

Dean closed his eyes, unsure if his next move would even work. It was a long shot, hell it was more than a long shot, but at that moment it was the only idea he had. "Evelyn?"

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Sam sat in the center of the small room, his heart beating out of his chest as the dim light swung above him. How had this happened? Evelyn was always bright, always so full of life— hell she was the sweet one of the group. How the hell had it all changed, how had it all gone so freakishly wrong? There were drawings hanging on every spare bit of wall— some of the Yellow Eyed Demon, others depicting often gruesome deaths. And they were held to the walls with what Sam knew to be blood.

The entire room smelled stale, smelled like death. This had to be something else, another one of Tom's secrets— this couldn't be Evelyn's doing. To Sam she was a wide-eyed and innocent kid, she wasn't some dark monster. Kerri said she had changed as she got older, but this was something he could never have imagined. Even after seeing her in the apartment, even after speaking with her, this was a complete and total shock.

It looked like the lair of a serial killer, not a lost and frightened kid. Sure the Yellow Eyed Demon could influence those he chose, but this? If Sam didn't know any better he'd say Evelyn had actually followed the Demon, had actually worked with it before her change of heart. Which lead to another question— what could have happened to bring Evelyn back from the side of demons? She had stepped over than invisible line, had more than likely killed, Sam knew that now, but something had brought her back, something had saved her, no matter how temporarily. Something had broken the Yellow Eyed Demon's hold.

Sam moved further back in the long room, edging his way to the second light. When he'd made it to the attic the small door was open and the first light was still on. Apparently, Dean hadn't made it that far into the madness. Sam's heart beat fast as he reached for the light, afraid of what he might find in the dark recesses of Evelyn's sanctuary. The entrance had been bad enough, but the real horrors, Sam knew they had to be hidden deeper.

He switched on the light, blinking in the dim yellow glow, almost throwing up at the sight which greeted him. There was a small alter, bones and blood spread about it, the decaying remains of animals piled in one corner. Lining one wall were the same silver chalices he'd seen Meg with, a series of curved knives laying beside them, coated in dried blood. She had been using dark magic. But how? The Harrison's house was supposed to be protected, supposed to be a safe haven, a world away from the darkness which ruled their lives. But then, Tom worked on keeping the evil out, there were no charms to stop those who lived inside from turning.

As he sat there another fear grew in his heart— was this his future? All the other children had either turned or died, what did that say about him? Would he eventually kill? Would he lose his way enough to turn on those who once cared for him, to hide away from his own brother? Sam was terrified he would turn evil, even though Kerri and Dean didn't think it was possible. As long as they were around he knew he'd be safe, but when all is said and done, they're just as mortal as everyone else.

Sam could feel his heart breaking, a tear running down the side of his face— this should never have happened, Evelyn should never have been lost. Everyone doted on her, watched out for her, followed her. Everyone saw her as the perfect little girl, the angel among the trouble makers that were he, Dean, and Kerri. But everyone had been wrong. Evelyn had been harboring a dark secret, had been courted by the demon responsible for so many deaths, and no one had been there to help her.

One day, one misstep in their lives, one argument, had destroyed the future for all of them. Had he just stayed in the house, had Dad and Tom not been fighting, had they just let Dean leave school and hunt. Had just one of them stood down, the future wouldn't have been forfeit. But they hadn't. Each and everyone member of both families stood stubbornly on their own principles, on their own ideals— and Evelyn was the one to suffer. Sam had always thought Kerri was the one who was overlooked, but now he realized it was Evelyn all along.

Kerri had Dean to watch her every step. She had Dean to keep her safe, to promise her a future. And she had Tom looking over her shoulder, studying her, molding her. And when they were both gone, she had Brian. Evelyn— Evelyn had no one. Sam was often in his own world when they were younger— he had taken her for granted. But he'd known the brunette all his life, she was more like a sister to him. Kerri and Dean had met in the midst of tumultuous times— they both remembered life before hunting.

Sam cursed, he wanted Evelyn with him, wanted to have her back, but he didn't deserve her. He didn't watch out for her the way he should have, didn't take care of her. He lived his life, went to college, all the while pushing every memory of Valley away. And while he was with Jessica, while he was dreaming of a future, Evelyn Harrison was dying.

Sam didn't know how long he sat there, lost in the torrents of his mind, lost in a rush of the past, present and future. It was like drowning in a whirlpool, and he didn't know if he'd be able to pull himself back out again. So many lives had been lost in his short existence. His mom, his dad, Tom, Evelyn, Jessica, and now Kerri was hanging in the balance. And Sam knew losing her would absolutely destroy his brother. While Sam had forgotten about Valley he knew Dean never had, not even for a moment.

Sam turned to leave, the death all around him too much for him to handle. As he reached for the light, thought, something caught his eye. There was a picture hanging near the ceiling of the small space, one completely unlike all the rest. It wasn't one of death, thought it was still dark. All the other pictures Evelyn had drawn were shades of red and black, blood and shadow— but this one, this was normal.

Sam knew it was a picture of Kerri, the only red being the older girl's hair. She was sitting in a chair, her head bent down. She looked weak, sick. There were two shadows on either side of her, and though Sam couldn't make out who they where, he knew they were both men. The shadows were ominous, dangerous. Sam looked to either side of the drawing, noticing the entire ceiling was covered in similar scenes. This was what pulled Evelyn away from the demon— her sister. Somehow, somewhere along the way Evelyn had figured out what was happening with Kerri, and it destroyed whatever bond the girl had with the Yellow Eyed Demon.

Sam's heart suddenly exploded in his chest— Tom wouldn't have.

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Dean sat on the bed, the silence around him deafening— he didn't think it would work. He needed to figure this out on his own, needed to save Kerri, but it seemed like the only person with any answers was Evelyn. Why hadn't he called her, why hadn't he stopped by? One visit and all this would have been avoided, one visit and Kerri's family would have been saved. But Dean let fear take over. He believed the Harrisons didn't want him, didn't need him— and to Dean that was unbearable. All his life he'd needed people, held on desperately to those he loved, and each and every one had left him behind. He couldn't face that again, not with Kerri. The sad reality of the whole situation, was that Kerri was the one person who never turned her back.

"Dean?"

Dean's head snapped up at the voice, his green eyes turning to the bed. "Kerri?"

"No."

Dean spun to his feet, his heart pounding as he faced the person behind him. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was Evelyn, but not the Evelyn he remembered. He knew her as a little girl, but she'd died when she was a grown woman. She was beautiful, but the opposite of Kerri in almost every way. She stood as still as a statue, her pale eyes fathomless, her nearly black hair falling in waves around her small frame. Her skin was milky white, a white dress falling loosely on her body. She looked like a porcelain doll.

"Evelyn?"

The young girl's eyes drifted to her sister, and even though Dean knew the spirit could no longer breathe, he would have sworn he heard her sigh. "You and I weren't so different." Evelyn began after a few minutes, her gaze moving back to Dean. "We both gave everything for our families."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you, Evelyn."

"I'm the one who never asked for help. No matter how many miles there were between us, we were never further than a phone call apart."

"Do you know what's going on?" Dean asked, his eyes drifting to Kerri. He needed to bring her back.

"My father traded her future for his present." Evelyn answered bitterly.

Dean clenched his fists. He knew deep in his heart Tom was responsible for all of this, but he had still hoped he was wrong. "Tom did this?"

"Yes."

"Who, who'd he go to?"

"I don't know. He never told me."

"Tom spoke to you about this?"

"Not my father." Evelyn took a few steps closer, her eyes locked with Dean's.

He tried to move, tried to break eye contact, but he found himself locked, his mind falling into her pale eyes. The moment she touched him, the world was washed away. He was falling, lost in darkness, lost in a void. He was a few seconds away from real panic when the world around him came back into focus.

He was standing off to the side of a small room, watching a scene unfold in front of him. He was in a rundown old house, two figures in front of him. He couldn't focus on anything other than the shadows, the space around them hazy and undistinguishable.

"What happens now?" The figure to the right asked, and Dean noticed then the small child held in his arms. It was Tom and a tiny Kerri.

"Now, life is normal." The other shadow answered, and though Dean couldn't make out its features, he could see its eyes clearly. They were locked on Kerri's back, the innocent little girl asleep on her father's shoulder.

"What's the catch?" Tom didn't seem afraid, didn't look like he was ready to fight or run. It looked more like two men having a business luncheon and it made Dean sick to his stomach. Kerri was a baby and he'd given up on her.

"That when the time comes I get what I ask for. No hiding, no tricks. Give me what I ask for or I'll take what's mine."

Dean wanted to attack the man in front of him— Kerri was his, she belonged to no one else. He watched as Tom looked down at his sleeping child, Dean feeling a sick satisfaction when a look of guilt crossed the older man's face. Tom should never have been allowed to have her, he didn't deserve her.

"You lied to me."

Dean spun at the new voice, surprised to see Evelyn standing beside him, tears streaming down her face. She looked different, and dean realized instantly this was her memory. For the first time in thirteen years he was looking at a living, breathing Evelyn.

"This is all true." Another voice joined them.

"You told me you'd keep her safe, told me she wouldn't be hurt."

"No, Evelyn, I said I wouldn't hurt her. I never promised more. But if you keep practicing, if you keep using what I've taught you, you can save her. All you have to do is stay with me, follow me."

Dean's heart stopped when he saw the speaker. Evelyn was standing beside him, an older man by her, his hand resting on her shoulder. He stood too close to her, like she was his possession. But what unnerved Dean the most was what he saw when he looked at the man's face. His eyes were locked greedily on Evelyn, and they were a sickly shade of yellow.