A/N: So, it's finally here. To me, this chapter sounds a little repetitve, and I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with it yet, but I want to publish it for you all to read.

Also, I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but do not expect a happy ending right away. Derek is just starting his fifth year of residency, so he will be in London for at least a year before he applies for fellowships. But anyway, I don't want to spoil anything, so I'll just get straight to the story.

Song: Six Months by Parachute

Chapter 10: Six Months

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

My phone vibrated at seven thirty the next morning, and though I got less sleep than I wanted, I woke up immediately. I didn't technically have to wake up until eight, but I purposefully set my alarm a half hour early so that I could enjoy this. So I could remember every detail of what it felt like to be in Derek's arms, because I wasn't sure if it would ever happen again.

I felt so safe, and warm and loved in his arms, and I tried to burn into memory the way his arms draped around my waist, his fingers gently grazing the edge of my back.

Or the way his nose and mouth were always buried in my hair, regardless of whether we spooned or I faced him when he slept. And how he breathed me in when he slept, and how his warm breath hit my scalp as he exhaled.

I placed my hand lightly on his chest, running my fingers over the soft tuft of hair. I could feel the strong muscles as I moved my way upwards, caressing his strong, broad shoulders.

Finally, I ran my fingers through his dark, wavy hair, the feeling I knew he loved so much. His hair was one of my favorite parts of his body. The way he took care of it, spending almost a half an hour in front of the bathroom mirror to make it look perfect, was a little dorky and weird, but as I said, it always looked perfect, and I loved running my fingers through it.

I heard a phone buzzing, and reached my hand underneath my pillow in order to silence what I thought was my phone. Instead, Derek twitched, disentangling himself from me and rolling over to the coffee table next to the pull out couch to grab his phone. He fumbled with it for a moment before switching it off and rolling towards me, eyes partially open, but drooping with sleep.

"Hey," he whispered, surprised to find me awake. "Sorry about that. You can go back to sleep, we don't have to be up for fifteen minutes." He wrapped his arms back around me and pulled me to him. I kissed his neck as I snuggled into him, but kept my eyes open.

"Then why did you set your alarm for this time?" I asked quietly.

I could practically feel the heat emanating from Derek's skin as it turned red. "Um, I don't know. I just… did."

"Uh huh," I said, smiling into his chest. "It's okay, I set my alarm for seven thirty. That's why I'm awake."

"Oh," was all he said, but he squeezed me a little tighter.

"I guess great minds think alike," I said, trying to joke around, and I managed to illicit a small chuckle from Derek. For the next fifteen minutes we just laid there. We didn't speak or even look at each other; my head was resting against his chest, and his chin was at the top of my head.

Finally, the official alarm rang, and we heard movement upstairs, signaling that it was time for us to wake up.

I pulled away from Derek slightly, just enough to be able to look into his eyes. He offered me a sad smile as he angled his face downward and pressed his lips against mine. I'm sure it was meant to be a soft, quick, good morning kiss, but I couldn't leave it at that. Not that now, our remaining kisses were officially numbered. My hands snaked their way into his hair, and I eased my own mouth open so that he would follow suit, and his tongue slid into my mouth.

It wasn't until someone began clamoring down the stairs that we broke apart, sheepish smiles on both of our faces.

"Well, that was a way to wake up," he laughed, finally rolling away from me and climbing off of the couch. I got up, and went to fold it back up when Derek stopped me, capturing my wrists with his much larger hand.

"Go get ready," he said, kissing my cheek. "I'll straighten up."

"Are you sure?" I asked, wanting to stay with him, but not wanting to seem too clingy either.

"Yeah, just go make sure everything is packed, throw on some comfortable clothes. It'll only take me a second."

"Okay," I agreed, but kissed him again for good measure as I headed up the stairs.

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'cause you have that effect on me, you do

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

I'm not sure if it was because it was only nine in the morning or the sadness of leaving, but the entire car ride to Heathrow was made in complete silence. Cristina, Izzie, and Sadie were all squished into the backseat of Derek's car, while I sat beside him in the passenger's seat, his hand firmly gripped around mine. Occasionally, his thumb would stroke the top of my hand, a gesture I had surprisingly found comforting.

When we arrived at the airport, it was practically deserted. We were able to check in with relative ease, and we were even able to convince the woman at check in to let Derek accompany us all the way to the gate. We made it through security in what seemed like record time, and still had about an hour before our flight left when we reached the terminal.

"Alright," Cristina said, yawning as she placed her carryon on top of a chair. "I need caffeine, anyone want to come with me?"

Izzie and Sadie volunteered, leaving Derek and I to guard the bags. He plopped down into one of the uncomfortable airport terminal chairs, pulling me down with him. His arms immediately wrapped around my waist, and I tilted my head so I could lean against his shoulder.

We sat in silence for several minutes until suddenly, everything hit me like a train. I was leaving. Derek was staying here. We were going to be apart for God knows how long. We may never see each other again.

My stomach began fluttering at that, just a nervous feeling. But then that small, nervous, butterflies in stomach feeling grew rapidly, until it became impossible to control. Tears sprang in my eyes as I started trembling, gasping for the air that couldn't seem to fill my lungs.

"Meredith?" Derek said, noticing my trembling and shifting me so that he could look at me.

And that's when it all came undone.

"Derek!" I gasped before beginning to sob, clinging to his shirt as he held me, a stupefied expression on his face, one that said he wasn't sure how to handle this. I wanted to stop crying, I really did, but I couldn't. The tears did stop eventually, but the gasping breaths did not. I tried to inhale deeply, only to be caught by a sob, preventing my lungs from filling with oxygen.

"I, I…" I gasped, wanting to explain myself to Derek, who looked frightened as he stared at me. "I can't – I can't"

"Shh," Derek soothed, kissing my head. "Slow, slow down. Slow it down, shh. Slow deep breaths, slow deep breaths." He instructed gently, but nothing seemed to work, I couldn't calm down.

Derek stood, lifting me up with him so that he was cradling me.

"Meredith, I'm going to be right back. I'm just going over to that sandwich store to grab a brown paper bag, I'll be right back, okay?"

I somehow managed a nod, and he placed me down on the chair. He seemed to be back in seconds, sitting down beside me as he handed me the bag.

"Take this," Derek said as I grabbed the bag. "Slowly, slowly." He inhaled and exhaled deeply, giving me a pattern to try and follow in order to calm down. I closed my eyes, trying hard to focus on breathing in and out. I reached my hand down, locking my fingers with his, and he held mine just as tightly.

Slowly, my breathing returned to normal, leaving me exhausted. Without even thinking, I slowly fell against Derek's chest, my hand still holding his. He wrapped his free arm around my shoulder, his cheek pressing against my forehead as I recovered from my panic attack. Eventually, I moved the bag away from my face and sat up straight, turning towards him.

"I'm okay," I said, trying to sound strong.

"You're okay," he repeated, smiling back at me. I wiped the tears away as he smoothed my hair, and we just stared at each other, once again engrossed in our own tiny bubble.

"Thank you," I whispered, giving him what I hoped was a strong smile.

"You're welcome," he said just as softly, continuing to stare at each other. I could tell he wanted to say more, just as I wanted to say more, but the moment was broken as I looked away, suddenly conscious of the other people in the airport, several of whom just saw my little melt down.

"Meredith," Derek said, drawing my eyes back to him. I saw the conflict behind them as he opened his mouth. "I just wanted… I know it's bad timing but I-" he paused to gather his bearings. I knew what he wanted to say, I knew exactly what he was going to say. But he surprised me; the conflict bled away to sadness as he sighed deeply, still looking at me. "I'm really going to miss you."

Rather than respond, I kissed him. I kissed him with everything I had; every feeling, every emotion as I tried, in my own way, to tell him that I loved him. That he meant something to me. That this wasn't just a fling, and that I knew he loved me too.

"I'm really going to miss you too," was what I said instead when we pulled apart.

My friends came back shortly after that, and we chatted for the rest of the time, just small talk, until our plane was finally called. When they began boarding, Izzie, Cristina and Sadie stood up, said a quick goodbye to Derek, and once again left us alone.

We stood slowly, still holding hands. Derek pulled his hand from mine, placing them on my hips as I wrapped mine around his shoulders, hugging him fiercely. We separated slightly, and my hard broke even more than it was at the sight of Derek. He was trying to be strong and stoic, but I could still make out the tears in his eyes.

"Please call me when you get to Boston," he said softly, looking at me as if he was memorizing my face.

I snorted. "Yeah right," I laughed, until I caught his facial expression. It crumpled and he looked hurt. Crap.

"No, Derek I didn't mean it like that," I said quickly, pulling him into my arms again, rubbing his back for a moment before I pulled away again, holding his face in my palms. "I can't call you. I don't have an international plan and I'm currently unemployed but soon to be on an intern's salary, so I won't make enough to afford to call you. But I'll definitely email you or something. Okay?"

Derek smiled sadly at me, but looked a little relieve. "Good," he said before capturing my lips with his own. The kiss was hard and possessive. His lips worked quickly over mine, and I melded myself against him, keeping up with his pace. I could feel his hands digging into my hips, but the pain didn't bother me at all. I just wanted to stay in this moment forever, to remember every detail of his lips against mine, and pray that this moment would never end.

When they made their last boarding call, we pulled apart.

"You need to get on the plane," he said softly, releasing me from his grip.

"Yeah," I said reluctantly, kissing him again softly before grabbing my carry on. "Goodbye Derek," I sniffled, trying to prevent myself from crying until I got on the plane.

"Bye Meredith," he said just as sadly, and with one last, long, loving look at each other, I turned away from Derek Shepherd and entered the plane.

As soon as I sat down next to Cristina, tears began streaming down my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Cristina asked, her voice surprisingly sympathetic.

"No," I admitted, my voice shaking. "We're leaving, and I'm… I'm leaving him. And it hurts, a lot. And I know I told you that I wasn't falling for him, but I did. He's McDreamy, and I fell in love with him. I love him."

In an entirely uncharacteristic manner, Cristina comfortingly placed her hand on my arm and squeezed gently. "I know," she replied softly.

"I just, I wasn't supposed to love him, but I do, and now I may never see him again," I gasped, letting out a small sob.

"I know," Cristina repeated, placing her head on my shoulder and wrapping one arm around my shoulder.

I was taken aback by this; Cristina is not a touchy feely person.

"You know this constitutes hugging, right?" I asked, keeping my voice as steady as possible while trying to make a joke.

"Shut up," Cristina snapped. "I'm your person."

We stayed like that for a little while, letting me cry over the fact that I had left the man I loved behind, despite how necessary it was.