Nine

I spun around, falling against the tree, wrapping my arms around his neck as he nuzzled against me. Since the morning that we had actually had sex a habit of in depth explorations of each other had begun. We had been stealing touches and kisses, waiting for the day it didn't feel like stolen moment; relishing the thrill anyway.

Three days later, nine days till my mom came, and I still was unable to imagine my life without Jacob; without the pack. Even without Bella and Edward. I never wanted to go home but then the guilt came in. Had my sisters been going to school or eating right? Was Mom taking out her aggressions on them as she had me?

I pushed Jacob away, unable to focus on his playful touches. He stepped back, his eyes following my face as I tried to hide it from him.

"What's wrong?"

I sighed, "You weren't supposed to see that." I stated plainly. "I'm thinking of my sisters, and how much I'll miss you, and I wonder if I'll truly live without the pack around me. My hometown may be larger but it's empty compared to here."

His eyes shifted from me to the setting sun. "It's wrong that we have to steal moments like this."

I giggled, "I think Billy knows, honestly." My fingers ripping moss off the tree behind me, the smell of a thunder storm ripped through my senses.

He smiled, wrapping me in a hug, "You know there's nothing wrong with coming to visit us, or even the Cullens."

I punched him lightly and snorted, "You should know better than that. My mom would never let me go that easily."

He sighed. "But you're eighteen... almost. She doesn't control you."

And then I got angry. Not at Jacob directly, but because people all my life had been telling me that I didn't have to put up with my mother's antics. "You think I don't know that, Jake? I would never put up with anything more than I think necessary, but for the fact that if I weren't there to deal with her, take care of my siblings, what would happen? Social services ripping apart my family, my baby sisters running rampant with boys and my brother in a gang. Not to mention Mom herself, drug addicted whore she is. And the drugs and booze, the fact that I have no idea whether they're being neglected or not when I'm gone." I sighed, turning away from him, imagining the worst situation, "I just... I can't leave them, Jacob. I can't. It's not like Child Services would do anything anyway. You think people haven't reported her before? As long as there's food in the fridge and running water they don't do anything."

He was silent. I could feel him thinking, his desperation evident in his pacing motions, his agitated breathing.

"How about you bring them here? No, your mom would never let them go either." His pacing increased, his anger grew, and his fist exploded into the tree just left of my head, leaving a huge crack and crater, like a mini explosion.

"Graceful, Jacob." I snorted, grabbing his previously bleeding hand and examining it. Though we are werewolves and we heal quickly the bones can mend wrong and need to be rebroken. His hand, thankfully, was fine.

I looked up, a frown on my face, only to be startled by the warm smile on his. "Come on, lovely; let's get inside before the storm comes?"

"Why?" I asked glumly, "At least we'll match, the sky and I."

He laughed, "You talk so weird for a girl your age." He tugged me along, "C'mon! I don't wanna deal with you when you're wet. You get easily provoked when you're wet."

I smiled, following him home mostly peacefully, curling on the couch as the thunder screamed across the sky, counting down the days till I left. Funny how time went by faster when you wanted it to crawl. I fell asleep in Jacob's arms.

Eight

I drew into his arms, the heat between us almost suffocating, deadly for any normal human.

"Good thing we ain't normal." he whispered into my ear. Startled I looked at him, at his half-transformed state. He was cute with a soft tail and delicate ears. His body, usually hairless due to his heritage, was exceptionally hairy on the chest and forearms, his hair color turned to more of a reddish black, his canines were enlarged and his eyes were more wolf than Jacob, though the difference was barely visible. "My, what big teeth I have..." He played, tussling my hair.

I giggled, half-way screaming, half-way laughing when Billy rolled into the room. What a site we must have been, me hanging halfway off the couch, pushing Jacob off of me, and Jacob, half wolf and on top of me.

"Hi Billy."

"Hi Dad."

Much to our amusement, he just nodded and went the other way.

That day was my most sullen day and Jacob seemed to sense my melancholy. He devoted all of his time to me; holding me, hunting for me, kissing me and trying to make me happy. We had all sorts of fun in all different positions and forms. But none of it quite worked.

"I'm sorry." I tried to explain that evening, "I just can't help this. It's like I'm dying inside every time I realize I won't have you. Your essence… your being around me."

"That's okay." He whispered into my ear, "I love providing for you. Makes me feel like we're together. Makes me feel... well... never mind, you'll think it's stupid."

Of course that stirred my curiosity, "No I won't, Jake. You know I never will ever think you're stupid no matter what."

"Well, okay. But promise not to laugh?" After I promised and he fumbled with his words for a bit, he finally spat out his little secret. "It's just that, me being with you- hunting for you, comforting you, it gives me the feeling of being a husband, a soon to be father or something... I told you not to laugh!"

"No, Jacob, no! It's just so sweet, is all. I can't help it but smile." I touched his face, apologizing with my caress, reminding myself that he was still young and innocent, despite his appearances. "One day, you will be a wonderful father, and you'll be a wonderful husband, you are a wonderful mate."

Once again his smile lit his features. The last thing I remember is him carrying me to bed.

Seven

I awoke that morning to an empty, slightly cold bed. The scent of Jacob beside me but the lack of his presence and the voices of anger outside alerted me to distress. All I could think of was Jacob and why he wasn't beside me. My mind was in such an uproar at this imbalance in my life that I put my pants on backwards. Agitated I forced myself to slow down and focus on one thing at a time, meanwhile the voices got less discernable but more angry.

As soon as I had gotten dressed I flew up the stairs and into the kitchen, where I saw Billy and Jacob sitting inches apart, the anger in the air intense and cackling.

"W-what's going on?" I looked from Billy to Jacob and back again, nothing but anger. "Excuse me? Billy? Jacob?" Billy looked at me, his eyes full of an energy I never noticed.

"Ask Jacob." His voice was more cold and icy than I could ever have placed on Billy.

"Jacob?" He snorted, still glaring. "Someone?!"

Billy sighed, breaking in. From old age and experience he knew when something had to be done. "Your mother called again."

My skin crawled and froze all at once.

"You are going home in three days."

And then I shattered. "Three days?! Billy, no don't make me, please Billy! Don't make me. I won't live without you, without Jacob, without the pack. Please don't make me go. Please. You don't know what she's like, Billy. I can't-"

"You have to."

Startled I looked at Jacob, "What?"

"You have to go. You need to be with your family." His face was turned from me, his body posture so ridgid I could not read it. "You need to be with your sisters, with your brother. You need to protect those who cannot protect themselves. If it was in Billy's power, he would refuse your mom but neither of us can stop this..."

Whatever else he had said was falling on deaf ears. I no longer heard him but the torrential hurricane whirring inside my body. My breathing was shallow, my tongue was dry, my feet were swelling, my heart had all but pounded loose, and my ears were whirring with a noise apparently only in my head. I fainted.

Later on, I don't know how long, I woke up with Billy by my side and a cold compress on my head. "Where's Jacob?" I somehow managed around a tongue that was too big for my mouth.

Billy smiled, handing me a glass. "Drink this and ask again maybe I'll be able to understand you." Though the look in his eyes said he understood enough.

I guzzled down the glass full; surprised that Billy would give me alcohol. "Whiskey, Billy?" I wiped at my eyes, the burning sensation still in my throat, but sure enough my body was feeling better.

"Your body is warm enough to burn the alcohol immediately and it does help." He sighed, "And for your question?"

"Where's Jacob? How long was I out for?"

"You were out for a few hours, its noon time now. Are you hungry? I could make you a-"

"Where's Jacob?" I asked coldly, not wanting to be rude, but needing the answer.

Billy's sigh said it all. "You need to understand that it's his way of dealing with pain... He just... can't be here anymore... Not until after you leave."

And somehow, the answer just fell onto my numbness and made me more unfeeling than before. "I see."

Billy sighed again, "No, no you don't. Don't you dare kill yourself, shutting down just because of a boy."

"No Billy!" I shouted, sitting straight up, "He was more than 'just a boy' and always will be, and you know it! And I'm sorry for 'shutting down', but maybe it's the only way I can stay sane. Now," I stood, clutching the compress to my aching head, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to bed, and if you don't see me for a few days, you know why."

Two

I wrapped myself further into the blankets as the sun attempted to shine from behind angry clouds that threatened to pour like cats and dogs. The knowledge of how soon my mother was coming was killing me inside and not even slowly. I sighed getting up, going into the shower. Somehow, though I didn't know how, I knew that Jacob wouldn't be here to make this easier... or worse.

I got dressed- realizing I noticed his absence because of his stale scent. I could smell him, yes, but it was old. Kind of like two hour old cooked popcorn, lingering, but old, not as fresh and strong. I sat down for breakfast and scarfed down a whole box of fruity pebbles, mostly because of my new metabolism, partly because of an inside ache I couldn't deal with.

I trudged outside; weary, ready for the day to end. Out of the corner I saw Sam and Emily, a scent of guilt and sadness wafted off of them, along with the scent of Jacob. I knew he had run away to somewhere and now that I knew… I really couldn't hold myself responsible for my next actions.

Almost from the back of my head, as if in a dream, I watched myself snarl at Sam, who quickly sensed the danger I posed and half morphed, shoving Emily behind him. Blindly I charged, my thoughts not the single stranded form of thought that humans had, but more of the emotion/animalistic basics of the wolf in me. My first response was purely human, betrayal; my second response was anger, blind dismayed anger. The wolf.

She raised her head and howled in a twisted way that I couldn't even understand, it frightened me. I sounded insane, like the animals that had long ago killed their offspring for no apparent reason, like my Mom. And the image of her in my mind made me snap.

I lunged at Sam, twisting to the left, digging my claws into the side of his shoulder, bringing him down with momentum. My insanity left out one key logical thought in this brash fight. Sam was superior to me physically in every way.

I yelped painfully as he pinned me to the ground. Horrified at what I had done, all the thoughtless anger fled from me, my eyes locked onto the blood stained wound that had oozed.

"Sam…" I breathed, barely able to whisper above my ghastly behavior. "Sam, I am so sorry…" I started to cry, "I really didn't mean to- and Emily. Oh my God! I am so sorry. It's just- Jacob, I know… and then I snapped. I'm so sorry."

He held me in his arms as I cried, carrying me back to Billy's.

He set me on the couch, where I sat for hours, too forlorn to even try to morph and run my cares away in a skin of fur.

Nothing else eventful happened, and I fell into a depressive sleep.

One

I packed my bags as soon as I woke up, setting them by the door. I was wearing one of Jacob's shirts, and had stolen many more of them. He never really wore them anyway, right? In return I had left a pair of sweat pants that I had worn to sleep last night, after Billy had woken me and shoved me to bed.

I paced the window, almost too anxious to eat. I missed my mouth multiple times, I was too distracted. Billy looked at my things, then at me.

"Do you have any questions?" Was all he said, and to my surprise, a thousand built up in my chest before I realized I had anything to say to the man I labeled traitor.

"I… do." I set down my spoon, shoved aside my almost full bowl. "I need to know why my werewolf genes kicked in so far after Jacob's did. I mean, he's sixteen, and I'm eighteen; why the age difference?"

Billy looked confused. "I don't know about your people, but ours had a pact made that if these lands were threatened ever again by vampires, then our dormant selves would awaken." He looked at me curiously, "What do you know about your wolf self? About your ancestors?"

I smiled weakly, "Nothing. My mom doesn't allow me to contact my Father. She actually called the cops and reported him kidnapping me. I know nothing." I looked at Billy; I saw the question in his eyes. "And no, he did not kidnap me; he took me out to a movie and lunch with my half-brother."

"Well, are there any kids that moved into your school recently? Like Vamp-"

"No." I sighed, "There's a new kid, but he's not a vampire, doesn't have the smell. There's no real reason then?"

He shrugged, "Not that I'm aware of."

And the silence that fell was heavy and choking between us. I sighed, getting up, placing my bowl in the sink. My eyes went to the horizon, already expecting the dreaded car that she drove. That wretched thunderbird that whined and cried.

"When did she say she'd be here?"

There was hesitant silence. "Anytime now."

"I'll make sure I have everything." I ran to the back bedroom, where I was stashed for my stay, and grabbed my sweat pants, shoving them under Jacob's bed really fast. Knowing him it could be months before he properly placed the spot where my scent was coming from, his room was just that dirty. I sighed, rushing to the living room as the screech of the thunderbird whistled into my ears. Unfortunately it was another forty minutes until the car actually pulled into the reservation, another five before she opened the door as flamboyant as ever.

I was immediately dejected as she raced to Billy, thanking him for "working" on my issues. I sighed, lugging my backpack and small suitcase to the car, shoving them into the trunk. Upset I collapsed back against the tires, sitting in the dirt and drawing kissing stick figures.

All too soon Mom was thanking Billy for everything, ushering me into the car. I took the backseat twisting around and looking out the back window, waving to everyone who had gathered to say goodbye. Everyone, I noticed, but Jacob. I looked at Sam, who just shrugged in a mournful, upset way. As the tires left the dirt road, touching the asphalt, my vision lost all color.

Everything was grey.