Ciel sat on his bed alone in the huge master suite. The revelation from Sebastian that he fell in love with him should have made Ciel happy. It was, after all, what he had wanted.

But then the memories clouded his mind. Everyone he loved, everyone who loved him, was gone. It was one thing to love Sebastian in secret, in his mind, but quite another to let those affections come to light.

If I break down the wall around my heart, I am susceptible, vulnerable, weak, Ciel told himself. An exposed heart could be broken, shattered even. Could I handle that, he wondered?

What if something happened to him or to Sebastian? Ciel wanted to be loved by Sebastian but there was doubt. Just enough doubt about how heart broken he would be if he lost Sebastian, that he couldn't chance it.

No, he told himself, I can't take that chance. With Sebastian at a safe distance, Ciel could protect himself and Sebastian. It would just have to be comforting enough to know Sebastian was there as he always had been, but nothing more.

Ciel felt cursed. He lost everyone he loved. He wouldn't lose his butler.

"Sebastian!" Ciel demanded. His usually condescending tone far worse today when he spoke to his butler.

"My Lord," Sebastian inquired curiously as he had all day when Ciel snapped at him angrily.

"My snack?"

"Of course, my Lord. I have made a lovely…" Sebastian started to say.

Ciel interrupted, "I'll decide how good it is. Just give it to me and shut up." Ciel didn't even look up from his papers on his desk. He had set down the papers though since his hands were shaking. Sebastian was being quite pleasant and Ciel was tearing him apart with his attitude.

After setting down the tray of cake and tea, Sebastian stood just to the side and back of Ciel.

"Well?" Ciel said.

"What, my Lord?" Sebastian asked innocently.

"Don't you have duties to tend to?" Ciel snarled.

"Actually, my lord, at the moment…" He was about to say no.

Ciel interrupted again, "Get out!"

Sebastian's red eyes narrowed, filled with bitterness when Ciel took a chance and glanced at him quickly.

"Of course, my lord," Sebastian said slowly, menacingly, "As you wish."

As soon as the butler left the room, Ciel nearly fell apart. All he wanted was to watch Sebastian pleasure himself again, pleasure Ciel again. Watching Sebastian had been so erotic and having Sebastian's hands on him had felt so exquisite.

He had to remain tough, he couldn't need anyone or else he would open himself up to being hurt.

If smoke could have rolled out of Sebastian's ears it would have. He was seething. What an utterly obnoxious brat Ciel had been today! Sebastian had actually admitted his deepest secret to Ciel when he wasn't thinking straight and this is the response he gets?

He didn't understand it. He had thought Ciel had wanted more between them. Did he misinterpret every signal? What ever Ciel's problem was, it was pissing off Sebastian rather quickly.

Sebastian was nearly at his wits end when he dressed Ciel for bed. He had taken off his gloves, which he didn't usually do, to button up Ciel's nightshirt. His hand brushed Ciel's bare chest.

"Sebastian! You will dress me for bed but…do not touch me. That's an order!" Ciel snapped.

"As you wish…my Lord." Sebastian said nothing else the entire time he was in the same room with Ciel. In fact, he didn't even tell him goodnight like he normally did. Ciel noticed.

Sebastian paused outside the door momentarily and heard the sniffles from the other side. Was Ciel…crying? Sebastian wanted to run in and fold his arms around his young master but, no.

Ciel had made it clear that the boundary lines were drawn and he didn't want Sebastian to cross them. The thing that frustrated Sebastian was, why?