Fate has Minions!
Fate. It jumped out at me like a bad surprise birthday party. The type where, you walk through the front door pissed off or shit faced to the point where, the last thing you need or want is a house full of people trying to wish you annual cheer and well being.
She had a child. Or two. I could only hear one heartbeat down the hall. Was it possible? Did she really have Siamese twins that shared a single heart? It would have to be. I doubt two hearts could beat so rhythmically as to be indistinguishable from each other. The padding of feet scared me. Whatever was approaching had more than two appendages. There was a smaller echo of clicking, a ricochet not completely shared with the padding. Every hair on my body stood up, the wolf inside me growing restless. We detected a predator of sorts, one coming directly for our mate. The unknown scent increased and I fought to stand my ground. Bella turned to the darkened hallway we had passed, her arms outstretched towards the ground and murmured "Come here, Van." Fate held its breath in anticipation.
Oh god! Only one name. What horror was approaching? Suddenly the thudded padding accelerated, my heart matching the tempo of increased speed. Any second and the adrenaline would kick in. Regardless of Bella expecting the entity, the wolf would win in dominance over its mate, removing her from harm of the unknown. Time was irrelevant, the theory of it out of commission. Each second passed like an eternity as I stood on the verge of being the animal I was and the human, which resided within, pushed away. It was supposed to be the other way around, I was human and I needed to control my beast. Time ran empty as out it jumped, the horror of all, into Bella's arms. Apparently, Fate had minions.
She cooed to it, this abomination. A multitude of browns, blacks, oranges and reds made up the exterior like a Halloween party favor, gone wrong. I guessed it to be around 20-25 pounds. It started twitching and undulating in waves and I was horrified to think of what it might be doing when I noticed it. This thing, this Van, had a fifth appendage.
The twitching came fast paced, the fifth extension unfurling from its body, gaining momentum and radiating from the tip. I watched as it lashed back and forth, oscillating in front of Bella's legs. I waited for this thing's defense mechanism to appear, like a scorpion getting ready to strike. As the twitching slowed, the silence was filled with a harsh droning noise. The sound absorbed and replaced that of beating hearts and the soft fleshy noises of the lungs currently occupying the hallway. Bella's voice halted the drone.
"Jacob, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Van. Can you say hello, Van?" At this point, Van slowly turned its head towards me. The motion was defined and painful, like watching Linda Blair in the movie, The Exorcist. If anything remotely resembling pea soup came out of its mouth, Bella and I would be living the rest of our lives in the Vatican. I struggled to meet the stare of its wide copper eyes. They looked exactly like two pennies, the older ones that were minted before the treasury replaced the copper metal with nickel aluminum. But pennies were not something to be terrified of, unlike this thing's burning glare of satanic demons. This thing was something from Hell. I grappled with my own normal bodily functions like breathing, processing and understanding.
"Van? As in an automobile?" Desperately I grasped the concept of this, this thing. She had named it and I struggled with the significance, as if it would allow me to mentally accept what my eyes were perceiving.
"No, as in van Gogh, the painter. His full name is van Gogh's Reese's Pieces Masterpiece." She ran her hand over the head of it lovingly, something she viewed as a what? The name, in no way, allowing me to understand exactly what it might be nor alleviating me of the terror emitting from this demigod of Hell. Fate began singing in some cult like chant. Bella was waiting for me to acknowledge this goblin and I stuttered out a question of my own, still fighting the inevitable nature of Fate.
"Is that a cat?" I really felt dumb when Bella started laughing so hard she had to set down the monstrous animal?
"Oh my, God! You should see the look on your face. Are you not a cat person?" The confirmation of this creature was disturbing. She continued laughing and hollowly, I joined in the infectious atmosphere for a completely different reason. Here I was, worried about an oversized house cat when I myself was a wolf the size of a bear and Bella was being homegrown by vampires. Fate stood off to the side, accepting congratulations while casually blowing on its nails and rubbing them nonchalantly across its chest.
"I, uh, haven't had much experience with cats. It's not that I hate them, per say, but I am definitely more of a dog person." What an understatement. Bella continued to speak to it, praising it on what a magnificent creature he was. Fate was showing me image after image of what this meant for us and I failed to censor my words.
"He looks more like a Picasso." I finally muttered, taking in his ragged ears and smooched face. Did he even have a chin? He honestly looked like he had failed to stop in time and ran into a wall. He certainly didn't look like any type of cat I remembered seeing. Bella immediately took offense and I thought she was going to cry.
"It's not his fault. We were at a show and he of course had won first place in best of show and best in breed. They had him along with the second and third place winners on the pedestals for pictures. That mangy...err the second place cat was a Savannah. No one really knows what set her off, but she lunged at Van and the damage was unrepairable. The Savannah was banned from future shows but Van can't compete anymore."
I wanted to comfort and laugh at her at the same time. What the hell was she talking about? A cat show, like they paraded them around, similar to a Ms. America contest?
"So, uh, how did you get stuck with it?" I asked still a little confused. Had she drawn the short straw? Who brought home such a disfigured creature as a pet?
"Stuck? No, he was a present from my brother. I've had Van since he was a kitten. I just wanted a regular pet, but Alice nagged me so much, I just took him to a couple of shows to get her off my back. Most people hardly ever notice the clip in his ear. I'm surprised you noticed."
Clip? Ear? It was then that I saw his left ear wasn't quite as symmetrical as his right. Was that the only thing she thought was keeping her from showing it?
"Do you have any show pictures?" I asked. I desperately needed a clue here as to what he was supposed to look like from before his accident. What the hell was a Savannah?
She pointed proudly towards one of the bookshelves on the far wall where a cluster of small photos sat. One of them was a cameo of the cat, minus the small tear in his ear. Well apparently whatever had attacked him hadn't made him this disfigured. According to another picture of him as a kitten, he was born this way. I somehow miserably failed to see any beauty, cuteness or Grandness to the Grand champion cat. I was never going to live this down with the pack. Fate was downing Dom Perignon.
"Do you want to hold him?" Bella asked excitedly. What? Fuck no, I didn't want to hold him. Or see him. Unless it included an aerosol can and lighter. But one look at Bella's face immediately stopped that line of thinking.
"What's with the toddler table?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the dining room. Could redirection possibly work without having to destroy Bella's heart with the ugly truth?
"Oh, Alice thought it was more dignified for him to eat that way rather than off the floor. He really is a member of the family." This cat had more privileges than the president's kids and it knew it.
By now, Bella had picked it back up and the thing slowly craned its neck to stare at me some more. Cautiously, it looked me over before he slowly opened his mouth to expose his pointy little teeth. The damn thing was sizing me up, trying to contemplate the possible threat I posed while simultaneously trying to warn me off. He was in for a surprise. I was more a part of nature than most humans and if it was one thing I knew about, it was staking a claim and protecting. Undetectable to Bella's ears, I let out a growl, watching in amusement then horror as he puffed up, turned around and began licking Bella's cheek while butting his head against her chin in between licks, marking her. Motherfucker...
Bella was still staring at me, waiting? What had she asked? Oh, damn.
"Maybe next time. Let him get used to me before I start fondling him, you know take it slow. Don't want to scare him from the get go." Thank god that was an acceptable answer as she set him down and returned to the kitchen, jabbering away to Van. Like he has a snowball's chance in hell as to know what she's talking about. Apparently this was a routine they were well versed in as he pranced behind her, tailing flicking back and forth every few feet.
Fleetingly, I lagged behind, struggling over this new concept Fate had forced me into accepting. It was the balance system all over again. Somehow, someway, we had to meet in the middle on this. I could handle the aquarium, hell I would buy her Sea World if that's what she wanted. But a cat was out of the question. Like vampires and werewolves, we were arch enemies. This was not destiny, this was Fate. Those slimy fuckers knew I had thrown off their chains of control and in retaliation they had sent this new soldier to fight a battle they no longer had access to. Hovering in the kitchen doorway, I watched as Bella started cutting slices of cheese and placing them on two separate plates. When she was done, she poured out some crackers onto one of the plates and then, placing a single cracker on the other, picked it up and walked over to the toddler table. Placing it down, the furry prince sat in his chair and began devouring the tiny yellow rectangles. Every third or fourth piece, he'd stop to lick at the cracker. Walking back towards the remaining plate, Bella picked it up along with two flutes and a bottle of wine. I loved her with everything I was worth, but I couldn't help thinking this was how a lot of horror movies went: The happiness, the hinting of the monster, the seduction and then?
We sat in the living room on the couch sharing more stories and information about ourselves. Van had been Bella's main drive towards becoming a vet. He became her rock during school, a constant reminder of what the end would hold once she graduated. Whatever reservations I may have felt were gone. Replacing them were the thoughts from earlier in the car, of what I had hoped to occur, becoming true. What started as slow and seductive grew increasingly fast into a frenzied passion. Not caring who had made the first move, or how we had gotten there, I simply accepted. She was straddling my waist, gripping my head as her tongue licked my lips, her teeth sensuously nipping. The moment I plunged my tongue into her mouth and she began to lightly suck it, I lost all ideas of restraint and control. In one fluid motion, I picked her up. Still straddling my waist, I proceeded down the hallway she had previously indicated contained the bedrooms.
Placing her in the middle of the bed I groaned as her lips moved along my jaw and up towards my ear where she nuzzled and licked. Clothes became a casualty and before all four bases became a thing of the past, I admired the scene presented. Gloriously nude, she reclined on the pillows with her hair completely disarrayed around her in a halo. Her presentation, in such a fashion, was worthy of any Mona Lisa or Venus de Milo, and thoughts of commissioning such a masterpiece became an addiction.
Waking up next to the most beautiful creature on the planet was heaven. Bella was curled up in a ball, pressed next to me. There was a pillow right above her head. What was on that pillow was Evil Incarnate. The furball was laying there curled around her head as much as possible. He had a patient stance about him as he stared at her, almost willing her to awaken.
"Go away!" I quietly hissed as though this intent gaze of his might suddenly waken her like an alarm clock. Van drew his eyes to me, the symmetrical inquisition seeming pensive. After several minutes he smirked at me before returning to his initial intended. Damn! Why didn't I close the door? This was not the way I wanted to wake up for the next fifteen years or so. Maybe I could get lucky and Fate would call him back sooner.
I decided I could ignore him in the same fashion he was ignoring me. I glanced around the room looking for a clock. On the nightstand, I found it. It was 9:15, early for my standards and obviously Bella's as well. Her bed was the best damn thing I had ever laid on. The thing probably cost more than my car. I wanted to order something nicer for when we moved to La Push. Then again, maybe not. No reason to add speculation to Bella's character. If the rez caught sight of some high end furniture delivery out there then gossip would spread. Everyone knew I could care less about brands but they might think otherwise about Bella.
Shaking away that type of thinking, I concentrated on Bella's breathing. She was so quiet, I doubted a normal person would hear her. I slowly adjusted her hair from her face so I could better see my earth bound celestial being. I began daydreaming of our future. I couldn't wait until I could propose. Our wedding would be beautiful. Whatever she wanted, I would go with. Most guys, myself included, rarely cared about the details as long as the bride showed up. The majority of the pack, who had already gotten married, stuck with a fairly traditional routine. Picturing Bella in an elegant white dress, my thoughts took a sharp turn. She'd obviously still wear white, but would it have meaning? Premarital sex had never come up and I wondered if she wanted to wait. Home plate had been put on hold, but if all we did until the honeymoon was like last night, I could wait. The thoughts of her beautiful lips and hands seeking across my body caused the lower half of me to rise to attention as I visualized last night. Maybe we could take a nice leisurely shower this morning before going to...
"Jesus fucking Christ!" I found myself huddled into a small ball on the floor, cupping myself and seething. Looking up back towards the bed found both Bella and Van peering over. One knew exactly what the fuck had just occurred and the other was completely clueless.
"Jacob, are you okay? What's wrong?" Even roused abruptly from sleep, her voice was gentle and caring.
"I'm fine, Van just scratched me." Lost in my fantasy I had failed to witness his preparation to launch himself from Bella's pillow onto my crotch. I did not want to tell Bella that her precious demon had thought my twitching dick was a toy for his pleasure. The evil fucker was laughing, he had to be. Certainly Fate was.
Bella just nodded uncertainly, still half asleep. Squinting her eyes as she looked toward the nightstand, she suddenly gasped and shot out of the bed.
"Oh my god, I'm late!" Jumping from the bed, Bella leaped towards one of the other doors in the bedroom. Completely forgetting about myself, I watched her nude body streak across the room to a closed door, that was thrown open by her. She reemerged with clothes in hand before continuing.
"I was supposed to be at work half an hour ago." She ran into the bathroom before shutting the door. I could hear the water running and wanted to strangle Fate for taking away my ideas of a shower with Bella. I managed to find my own clothes and was dressed when Bella came back out, ten minutes later. Dashing over to the bed where I was sitting, she stumbled over her words trying to speak quickly.
"I'm so sorry, I gotta go. I should be home by five, spare keys in the junk drawer in the kitchen. Feel free to stay or, if not, lock up and I'll call you tonight." With the briefest of kisses, she ran out of the room struggling to put on her shoes. I heard the front door open and close and then all was silent. There was no sight of Feline Bobbit.
I walked through the apartment, examining the little things that made up Bella. Coming to the last undefined room, I hesitated. The door was slightly ajar and I wondered what it contained. Short of a piano, Fate really couldn't throw anything else at me. Arguing with myself about how and why I had turned into such a coward, I gave the door a tiny nudge allowing the hinges to use gravity in opening the door. I lost the battle, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, searching for the reassurance of a lack of any more zoological surprises. Detecting nothing, I took a step forward and opened my eyes. Not even a million times in Hell could have prepared me for this.
This room was not neutral in color. What wall space that could be seen, was painted a deep, threatening green. Facing the inside of the building, it didn't have any windows. To make up for this, massive UV fixtures had been suspended from the ceiling. The entire floor was Astro turf; yards and yards of a thick, plushy, emerald canvas. A variety of, hanging and free standing, potted plants covered the area. One fourth of the room alone held a jungle gym, designed for very small bodies. Amid the foliage it was barely discernible; the maker being an artist. It was designed to look like its own copse, the base a mass of woods, etched and carved to resemble bark. The top alone would have simulated leafless branches. Instead, intricately forged, were hooks and holders. Filled with live plants, it was the copycat of a forest canopy. As I stood there, trying to figure out if Bella was some type of secret Moreau, a small audible click broke me from the indoor rainforest. With a harsh buzz, the lights changed, some turning on, others off. I felt like I was watching a play, as a spotlight illuminated the last thing I had expected to see. There, on the far wall, stood a toddlers bed. A tiny miniature metal frame with an equally sized mattress. The last light, to click on, was a heating lamp stationed above this pallet. Mockingly, the light fell around it, highlighting the duvet. Cartoon mice made up the pattern. I wasn't a violent person, unless need be, but at this moment? At this moment, my greatest wish was to start a forest fire. A little accelerant, a single sulfuric stick and this nightmare would vanish like the Hell it mimicked. Twice, I walked to the bathroom, in search of a fuel to complete my task. And twice, I talked myself out of it. Had I not gotten so angry over the pack's previous idea, about setting fire to Bella's apartment, I might have been successful in my task. Finally, giving up, I closed the door to the original position, leaving the fiendish Eden.
Making my way into the kitchen, I searched for something resembling a junk drawer. I heard the hairball pad in behind me and could feel his evil stare cast on my back. Slowly turning around, we watched each other. He didn't enter the kitchen, just sat at the threshold waiting. Giving in, I resumed my search for a junk drawer and hit pay dirt with drawer number six. It contained various office supplies, take out menus, a flashlight and in the very back, a set of keys. I heard the minion twitch and I spun around ready to defend myself.
"What? What the hell is your problem? There's nothing to see here, go back to your shrine."
He knew something, and the cold essences of Fate hit me. Looking at the keys in my hand, I found his merriment. There on the key ring was a photo holder with none other than a picture of him. Returning my glare to the real life version, he continued sitting there, licking his paw before rubbing it over his gnarled face. Van knew this monstrosity of a key chain held a memento of him and that I would be stuck carrying it around like some damn trophy. I started to tug off the key from the ring when he coughed. His look cleared it up. I was a dumbass; Bella's feeling would be hurt if I removed this, this eyesore. He was laughing again, in a silent ha-ha fuck you sort of way.
Driving back to my apartment, I felt like Bella and I had accomplished an important step in our relationship. A few flaws but, with the exception of Vatan, nothing that couldn't be worked out. I had barely walked through the front door of my apartment when Quil tackled me.
"So, tell the sex god," Quil was pointing to himself, "all of your fucktacular conquests from last night. I promised you I wouldn't say anything about your sex life but the least you could do is tell me about it. Is she freaky? Did you guys use peanut butter? Tell me you got down and dirty with those berries. On a scale of one to...What's that smell?" The conversational whiplash was brutal as Quil began sniffing me like he was a Great Dane and I was some goddamn Scooby snack.
"Get the hell off me, Quil!" Shoving him away from me, I walked into the dining room and sat down at my new table. Quil followed behind me and took a seat across from my position.
"Well, I would say you're grumpy as fuck again because you didn't get any, but I can smell that shit a mile away. What's that other smell?" His eyes glazed over and his excited pitch grew higher, "Fuck me sideways, I was fucking right. She is into that freaky shit. What the hell did you guys get down and dirty with?" Groaning, I rested my elbows on the table supporting my forehead in my hands. Why was he with me?
"Quil, I am not talking about this right now." Eventually the cat would be out of the bag and I would have to explain Bella's choice of household companions. As much as I prayed for the proverbial bag to lie at the bottom of the sound, I refused to even hint about the furry repulsiveness. Quil had no idea what he was asking for.
"J, dude, don't leave a brother in the dark. What was it?" None of us knew anything about cats, Quil included. He could smell its scent but I felt I could misdirect the truth.
"She has a pet." I replied, thinking about the tranquil marine exhibit that sat in her living room. I should have been thinking about Quil's comprehension.
"A pet? I've never met a chick before who named her snatch. But I'm not talking about her pussy, what the hell is that scent?" Fate could barely hold itself up, laughing over the paradox in Quil's misnomer. Looking up, I inattentively continued my fabrication.
"Well, she had an aquarium and..."
"Dude, I don't give a fuck what piece of furniture you screwed on, well I do, but we'll get back to that later. What I want to know is, what were you guys using..." Mid sentence he stopped, a sexual calculating Quil returning full force to summarize. "You said an aquarium, right? And, aside from the sex, I can make out a heavy tinge of ammonia. I'm assuming not all of the little sea life critters were dead, right?" Slowly I nodded my head. This conversation was so wrong and I wanted to stop it. But like a traffic accident, I couldn't help but gawk and indulge wondering what Quil was about to deduce. Fate gleefully waved from the exit of mental sanity.
"Oh my fucking Christ in a hand basket. You sleazy, lucky motherfucker. I fucking knew it. Your little cupcake is one deviated kinky bitch. Fuck, you just get it all, don't you? Not only is she the hottest piece of ass to ever walk the planet but also, also, she's this perfect eccentric sex demon! Damn, J, even you can't turn that shit down when your imprint wants it." I literally reeled back in my chair as Quil continued his over expletive monologue.
"You didn't think I'd figure that shit out, did ya? Trying to play off the weird ass smell thing. Dude, I may not have a college education but even I know the only living sea creature she could have, in a house tank, that you guys could play with like that, is an octopus." I was still reeling and had to grip onto the sides of the chair to stay upright. Quil barreled on, like a Mack truck, not noticing or caring of my interpretation of his false findings.
"Fuck, this puts a whole new meaning to playing with your calamari. How well do the suckers work with the thing? I mean, did you use them to tease her, or did she use them on you? Damn, I can't believe your imprint does shit I never even thought of." Hooting, he jumped out of his chair, racing into the other room. Ten seconds later he was back, clutching the phone and ripping through the phone book. His saucer sized eyes glimmering with excitement, he proceeded to call every pet store in the Seattle area. Leaving the table, I went to take a shower, change my clothes and forget that Mother Nature allowed people like Quil to live.
Twenty five minutes later, I came back out into the living room to find Quil slumped over on the couch, talking to himself. Kicking his foot several times to get his attention, he refocused and began with another series of answers and questions.
"Not a single pet store in the state has any octopi. Do you think Bella would let me borrow hers?"
"No." I stated, as Fate began showing me the possibilities.
"Well, did she say where she got it?" I thought about the whole situation for a few minutes. Did Quil really deserve this? Was it fair to reciprocate in such a manner? Despite my countless warnings and demands, Quil refused to think, he just acted. I promised myself that this would only have to happen once, that after I committed this act, he would back off and let me live in peace.
"I believe she mentioned receiving it as a token of appreciation. At one of those, oh what did you call it? Oh, yeah. One of those shitty sushi places."
"Really?" Quil asked, while I struggled to keep an evil smile off of my face.
"Yeah, the chef was so impressed with the amount of sushi she had consumed, he rewarded her for her efforts. She was immensely touched by the gesture, deciding to keep him as a pet and, well, you can imagine the rest." My cell rang before I could continue this trap. Retrieving it, I answered, not bothering to look at the screen. Fate simply grinned, knowing I had forgotten about my life outside of Bella.