I apologize for the temporary hiatus- my life has been a little hectic for the past couple of months.

Without further ado, here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to West Wing, Hamilton (The Best of Wives and the Best of Women!), or Doctor Seuss (C.J. Cregg I am!- courtesy of 'Green Eggs and Ham' by Dr Seuss). Teen rating, mild language(everything is bleeped).

This takes place in the context of the War Crimes episode.

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"But-" Josh squeaked.

"Do I need to kick your a**, Josh?" C.J.'s eyes bulged.

"Are you sure you can?" ' 'Cause like…. I workout.'

"Listen here, Sparky. I could kick your scrawny, chicken-*** on a boat. And I could kick your scrawny, chicken-*** with a goat. And I could kick your scrawny, chicken-*** in the rain. And I could kick your scrawny, chicken-*** in the dark. And in a tree! I am so bad***, so bad***, you see! I could kick your scrawny chicken-*** here and there. SAY! I could kick your scrawny chicken-*** ANYWHERE!"

Josh's head hung in shame. "Okay."

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Josh sat down on the couch in C.J's office.

"D'ya wanna tell me what the h*** just happened back there?"

"Sam punched me in the face."

"For no particular reason?"

"Nope."

"So you didn't piss'im off?"

"Piss him off?! I'm the one who should be pissed!"

'And you're doing an excellent job at controlling your emotions.' " 'Cause Donna told the House Government Oversight Committee that she didn't keep a diary, except she does. But no one -"

"-would know if Donna hadn't dated anyone on the committee." C.J finished his thought.

"Yeah, thanks to our very own Elsie Schneider." Josh clarified.

"You called Ainsley 'Elsie Schneider'?!"

"Yeah."

Elsie Schneider, the Nazi spy that Indiana Jones slept with?" CJ clarified.

"Yeah."

CJ stepped closer. "The same Nazis whose a***es we kicked in World War 2, thanks to heroes like Admiral Hayes."

"Are there other Nazis that I don't know about?"

"No. Anyway- we kicked their a**es thanks to heroes Admiral Hayes, who's also Ainsley's dad."

"Yes."

"And you called'er a Nazi spy and seductress?"

"Yes."

C.J returned to her desk. "We shoulda let Sam keep beating you up."

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*t-LEEP er-er-et* Josh pressed Ainsley's apartment intercom buzzer with takeout in hand. "Ainsley? Sam? It's me, Josh. I'm here to apologize… I brought food."

*DUH-lammp* Ainsley closed the fridge with a Stout in hand before she walked over to buzz him in. *ERRRZZZZZ* "What?" She turned to Sam who sat by the television with Toby, Bruce, and Harriet as they watched _. "He's your best friend. You can't stay mad at him forever."

'Watch me.' Sam grimaced.

"Besides, he brought me food."

"But he-"

"Called me Elsie Schneider? …. Yes, he did. And now he wants to say sorry. … And bring me food."

*knock knock* Josh knocked on the door.

"He's your best friend, Sam." Ainsley walked towards the door.

"And you're my girlfriend."

"That's right." Ainsley opened the door. "Hi, Josh."

'Oh, he's the one who announced the 'President's secret plan to fight inflation' when he filled in for the Press Secretary, right?' _ thought.

he's the one who announced

"Hi." Josh held Chinese takeout bags. "I remember that you like Kung Pao Chicken. I also got you Crab Rangoon, Egg Rolls, BBQ spare ribs, Hot and Sour soup, Rainbow Beef, Broccoli Beef, and Orange Chicken… Can I come in?"

"Anyone who comes bearing gifts of food is a friend in my book. Can I get y'all somethin' to drink? Beer, soda, coffee, water? Cookies, pizza?" Ainsley gestured to the everything pizza and plate of cookies on the counter. "Fried chicken?"

'Fried Chicken? I don't see any fried chicken.' "Uh no thanks, I'm-"

'Just take the d*** food, Josh.' Toby thought.

"There's no use fighting it." Bruce said. "Let'er get you something before she starts making you fried chicken." 'You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.'

"I'll take a Coke."

*PAA-haaaaa.* Ainsley opened the fridge and handed Josh a glass bottle of Coca Cola.

"Thanks."

*PAMP* Ainsley closed the fridge. "Your welcome." She replied before they joined Sam, Toby, Bruce, C.J., and Harriet in the living room.

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Isn't it nice to see someone knock Josh down a peg or two?

I debated calling this chapter (as well as the previous chapter) 'Sunday Night's Alright for Fighting'(in honor of Elton John's Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting). What do you think? Should I have called one of those chapters 'Sunday Night's Alright for Fighting' instead of 'Pennies, Glorious Pennies' or 'C.J. Cregg I am!'? Cast your vote in the review section.