A Star Trek Fanfiction

He Wanted Me

Chapter Ten:

To Hold Me

Shock.

Revulsion.

Rage.

Strong emotions that slammed into his gut with the force of adrenaline-pumped football player uninterested in mercy.

Before he had a chance to recover from this sight, the world began to shift as if it were a home video. And she was the star. Night after rowdy night, he watched her service strangers in a drunken stupor, consuming alcohol as if it were air, and stumbling home to yelling and screaming. In a matter of moments he witnessed the darkness of her later years; the bar brawls, assaults, dangers, pain . . . and love lost.

He saw her love for this boy, this boy who rushed off to fight the good fight with all the enthusiasm of youth and never returned. He felt her pain as if he were his lover, her pain as his; her anguish and fear as if he were the one left alone in the world.

She was no pure angel. She willingly gave her body to the filth of the world time and time again without abandon. She defiled her system with toxins and placed herself in careless situations. She was loud, stubborn, and insisted upon things her way without any regard as to how it would affect her in the long run. She blatantly charged into the unknown solid plans to break her fall. She was dangerous to place in any position of leadership and irresponsible to say the least.

Still.

Though she wore revealing garments befitting a woman of compensation, though she bore the perspiration of another man upon her skin, she was Jen. Though she ran away from home and tore down walls to make her own way, she was Jen. Though she was the most dangerous Terran being to be around if you desired a sure chance at life, she was Jen.

His Jen.

Unsure of how this was to end, he reached out into the now darkened space and called out to her. Not as a officer of rank, but as a woman. As his mate for years to come.

At once, like a floodgate, all the emotions and senses from their time apart poured through their bond like water after a long bout of dryness. Filled with light only she could provide, he could only submit to it as he felt a pleasant weight settle into his arms. Pale, perfect skin. Perfect blonde. Perfect eyes like crystal and sky.

Jennafer.

She could feel nothing but the deepest shame at her past crimes, and yet she could not look away from that face or pull away from that bond.

"Spock-"

"You are mine. Despite past transgressions, you are in my possession, and I will not allow you to ever depart from my side again."

"How-"

"It is finished."

"But-"

"Finished."

She bit her lip, unable to contain the insane happiness within her. So powerful was her relief and joy that her radiance seeped into her lover, visible in form of flushed cheeks and the hint of a small smile only she alone knew.

She watched them from a distance, watching their eyes and lips move in speech. She watched them embrace . . . connecting souls and mending the broken.

She watched them with a certain heaviness within . . . something akin to heartache, though it was too faint to be sure.

She'd been bested. Despite pulling off all the tricks of the trade, she'd been conquered and knew it was in her best interest that she bowed out gracefully.

It was a strange thing it itself that she began to care for the blonde. She was everything a lady was not, and yet she had this charming air you couldn't ignore. Everything she never was as a betazoid. Maybe that's what she was searching for . . . but the time has passed for speculation. The game was over, for now and for forever. A shame really.

Andrea was sent back to her home planet and her parents were not the least surprised. After a frigid thank you and a promise of the utmost secrecy, she was put away and never thought of again; at least by them.

Jen resumed her duties as Captain of the Enterprise and slowly regained full trust and control of her vessel and crew. With her First Officer never leaving her side and the good doctor on her case every other minute, there was no room for concern. Jennafer Kirk was home again.

"I think we can manage fine without another counselor. If anyone has a personal problem, get a drink and suck it up."

Spock raised a brow, causing Jen to sigh and slump in her chair. Ever since he peered into her mind he's been strict about her drinking. As they are linked, she couldn't lie to him, so it made downtime a real downer for her. After some heavy persuasion, she was allowed one drink a week, much to Scotty's amusement.

Uhura chuckled, "Only you can attract the weirdos Captain. I'm starting to think that eighty-five percent of the chaos aboard this ship involves you."

"Only eighty-five?" Sulu laughed out loud at Jen's death glare, "Andrea must have done you some good though; you've been chewing on those celery sticks for a while after the incident."

It was true. After everything that happened, the many tests she was placed through by Bones, and weeks of catching up with everything she missed, she started on a health binge. If it wasn't celery, it was tomatoes or carrots or anything else she once looked upon in disdain. She thought it was Vulcan practicality rubbing off on her; hell, it even kept her from drinking.

"Maybe, but let's not dwell on that. Set coordinates for some place not here. I need something to do."

"Didn't you just "do" something thirty minutes ago?"

". . . . . shut up Sulu."

Starfleet received the report and, out of respect of her parents, handled it with privacy and reinforced the psychiatric screening for new cadets. After declining another candidate for a counselor they were ordered to be useful and investigate a sparsely populated area of space and commune with the colonies present there.

In other words, grunt work that even she couldn't screw up.

But then again, her name was Jennafer.

Author's Note:

Wow . . . that was insanely short, but the good news is that I'm back and am ready to work again. Hopefully I'll keep myself out of this funk and do better if not for myself. I'd like to thank a special friend of mine who's been going over my chapters and putting in her opinions. I'll place her suggestions into my next fic in hopes of getting better and more substantial. Last chapter will be coming up late on tomorrow! For those who have stayed with me, thank you!