A/N: Well, here it is. While the rest were 100-400 words, every tenth chapter is going to be 1000+, and I have something of epic proportions planned for the 100th, if I ever make it there. I know this has been done before, but I'm putting my own – *Gets yelled at offscreen* - okay, my own take on an idea suggested to me by PitFTW. *Muttering* Note to self: Do not discredit my GF or my GF's friends.
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Spar Ten: White Robes
Summary: Ike was fed up with Mia's fascination with Rhys, so took things into his own hands.
Morning, crack of dawn, combat training for two people in particular – Ike and Mia. Which was why Ike was confused as to where the hell Mia was.
"Mia? Hello? Where are you?" He asked, wandering the hall. Boyd stuck his head out a door.
"Shut up, people are trying to sleep in here!" He muttered. Ike's eyes fell on Mist's staff in his room.
His eyes narrowed. Boyd sensed the killing intent, and wisely shut the door. Ike considered smashing the door down and killing him, but decided that some things took priority even over his little sister's potential ravishing.
"….you'll get what's coming to you, Boyd…" He snarled, before knocking on another door. "Rhys? You in there?"
No reply. Ike sighed, and ran a mental checklist. No Rhys? No Mia? Crack of dawn? …god dammit, she was obsessing over this so-called white robed rival of hers again. Ike slammed his head against the wall. Mia was going to be the death of him. Not that he was complaining.
The fact was, how to get her attention…he mused as he walked down to the training fields and witnessed Rhys getting the crap beaten out of him by Mia.
All things considered, it really was quite amusing actually. Ike snorted as Rhys tripped on his robes and fell face-first into the mud. Mia freaked out and helped him up, and Ike felt a pang of jealousy when it turned out Rhys had to be carried up to the apothecary by her due to him passing out. He sighed and went down to help. Mia looked up at him as he approached.
"Morning, boss! Sorry about missing our spar, I was trying to train my rival here!" She said with a grin. Ike resisted the urge to facepalm and/or get lost in her smile. He sighed.
"Not a problem…I'll take him up."
Ike threw Rhys over his shoulder in an exceedingly undignified manner. Mia raised an eyebrow.
"…er…thanks, boss?"
They walked back up towards their new complex. A few moments later, Ike broke the silence.
"What is the big deal about this white-robed rival anyway?"
Mia went red. "Er…its kinda private, boss."
Ike raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really. Well, then, I suppose I should leave it." He said calmly. Mia twitched.
"Fine, I'll tell you! My white-robed rival is meant to be my soul mate, and the person I'm going to love my whole life-why did you trip?"
Ike stumbled back up and picked Rhys up again, cheeks flaming. "Er, no reason." He muttered, walking again. "…so, why are you so convinced its Rhys?"
Mia pouted. "He's the only white-robed fighter I've seen in years! It has to be him!"
"Uh, Mia, he's a mage."
Mia waved a hand. "Not a problem! I can fix that easily!"
Ike facepalmed "I thought you said he was the only…what…never mind." He gave up. Mia's mind worked in mysterious ways.
And then the part of his mind Ike was sure had been created by spending too much time around Soren started working. A smile spread across his face as a plan formed in his head.
Mia noticed. "Er, boss, why are you smiling?"
"Nothing, Mia, nothing." He muttered, shaking his head to clear his mind. "I'll just, ah…I've got some paperwork to do."
He dashed off, leaving the slightly confused Mia behind. The grin grew larger.
Now, then…where did Rhys keep his spare robes?
"This is stupid." Soren said flatly. Ike glared at him.
"I thought it was a good idea." He muttered. Soren slammed his book shut.
"Do you remember that myrmidon leader in white clothes two years back?" He asked calmly. Ike nodded. That was one of the tougher missions…still a cinch for the mercenaries though.
"Yeah, why?"
"Do you remember how BEZERK Mia went at seeing her 'white-robed rival'?" Soren continued, twitching slightly. Ike paled and looked at the robes hanging off him.
'oh, crap.' He thought. Soren nodded.
"Exactly."
Ike didn't bother to ask how he knew what he was thinking. Soren knew everything, somehow…
"I'll go get changed." He left the room.
Soren resumed reading. Then he threw the novel into the fire.
"…VAMPIRES! DON'T! SPARKLE!" He yelled at it, boosting the fireplace's flames with his wind magic. Mia popped her head in.
"Are you okay, Soren?"
"Just a bad book…what is it, Mia?"
"Have you seen Ike?"
"Yeah, he should be heading for his cabin…" Soren said before he realized something 'Oh crap, he's still in the robes.'
Mia grinned. "Thanks!"
Mia dashed away. Soren dug out a heal staff. He was going to need it once Mia was through.
Ike was halfway to his cabin when the maelstrom hit.
"WHITE ROBED RIVAL!"
"Oh, son of a-"
Ragnell was halfway out of its sheath when Mia rammed into him. Ike felt something snap.
Yeah, that felt like a spine. Then the training sword smashed into his arms…face…legs…groin…his eyes started to water.
Then Mia stopped. "BOSS? OMIGOD! SORRY!"
The bloodied mess that was Ike groaned in reply. Mia's hands flew to her mouth.
"Sorrysorrysorry please don't fire me!"
Soren walked over.
"…recover." He muttered, before walking away. Ike groaned and got up on his elbows.
"…why would I fire you?"
"I just beat you half to death?" Mia pointed out. '…maybe I did some brain damage too…'
Ike waved his hand. "It's fine. This was a stupid idea to begin with."
Mia tilted her head as she helped him up. "What was a stupid idea?"
Ike delivered a glare that could have made Ashnard run away screaming like a little girl. Mia gulped.
"…erm…I'll just get back to training, yeah?"
"Good idea." Ike said stiffly, walking into his cabin. Then he applied head to wall. "STUPID PLAN! STUPID PLAN! STUPID PLAN!"
"…what was a stupid plan?" Mia asked casually. Ike had left the window open, so she was leaning on the windowsill.
"Nothing." Ike muttered, sitting down on a random chair. "…the whole reason I was wearing those robes."
"Oh? Care to explain?" Mia asked curiously, clambering inside and sitting next to him. Ike flushed and cleared his throat.
"Well…" Ike began slowly. Then the part of his brain created by spending a year on a boat with Ranulf kicked in. "…I love you"
Ike hated that part of his brain – the only thing it ever did was get him into trouble. Mia fell off her chair.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
Ike facepalmed. Mia continued pointing at him, an expression of shock on her face. Ike sighed and continued. After all, if you mentioned those words might as well explain the entire plan.
"With the amount of time you spent obsessing around Rhys and other white-robed people, I figured that you'd spend more attention on me if I started wearing them – at least once."
Mia's face was still frozen in shock. Ike sighed and started to walk out.
"Sorry for putting you in this situation. Won't happen again, and if you want to retire I won't hold you back."
He shut the door behind him and wondered where he could find a place to be alone for a while.
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A/N: Bit of a downer ending there, but meh. The whole point was the 'Ike gets beat up' resolution. :D We shall return to your original schedule of 3 100-500 word drabbles a week starting Monday with Engage Facepalm.
No, really, that's the title.