For Honeybadger who sent juxtaposition in!
Inner Universe
(J is for…)
Juxtapose
Happiness; it was like some sort of sickeningly disgusting disease that he couldn't catch. It was in the air he breathed and no matter how much he breathed in deeply, that virus he wanted wouldn't infect his body. He watched couples, friends and family members stroll down the streets of his country, watched them hold hands, kiss, laugh and smile.
It looked so natural. It was aesthetic to him, for this was something he'd never been introduced properly to.
He was the youngest Kazekage of Sunagakure; he had protected his people with his life once already, died for them even. He protected they who were happy…while everything was the same. With Shukaku gone from him, the all consuming desire to spill blood was lost and now there was this void where once Shukaku had destroyed his life, and also given him some sort place amongst this normalcy people naturally possessed.
He watched, observed and tried to learn. It was hard to properly communicate to people except Naruto, hard to form proper syllables to make an easy, smooth conversation without having people freeze up and run from him.
All he could do, he realized after too many failed trials of having a conversation, some small talk maybe, was observe.
He was the only one standing in the stadiums, the only one in the audience who was watching the rest of the world spin on smiles, laughter and happy things. He watched, alone in the stands while everything was happening in the arena below, no on noticing him.
He only talked to the different Kages from their villages, for trades, future truces, possible alliances. The rest of the time, there was silence. Aside from talking with his siblings, he was outside looking in at the rest of the world. He was the kid who saw a giant gingerbread house, decorated with frosting and leaned against the thick glass, pressing his nose against it and breathing on it.
Gaara leaned his head onto his hand, propping it up while he watched the people below his office building pass through, murmuring of movies and new bestselling books. He watched, and heard the door creak open, the chair in front of his desk squeak from added weight.
He turned silently, eyes coming to rest on the ninja with her back straight, "Kazekage-sama," she began.
"Gaara."
She blinked, startled before nodding slowly, "G-Gaara then, um, the hospital is secure and the virus has been contained." Tsunade had informed Sakura, Ino and herself to travel to Sunagakure to help their doctors contain an outbreak of influenza, normal to people from Konoha, but with the desert's temperament was deadly to the children who had caught it.
Gaara nodded and weaved his fingers through each other, staring at Hinata whose fingers unconscious began tugging at the fabric of the chair.
She couldn't look him in the eye, Naruto, Tsunade, Sakura and even Ino who met up with him a few times said he was different; he'd changed for the better. She couldn't meet his eyes, looking instead at the desk and at his elbows. All she could keep seeing was this short boy with red hair killing three Rain nin in a dense forest without blinking an eye.
There was silence and Hinata's nerves began to fray. "Am I that horrible to be around?" Hinata's eyes widened, not hearing a snide remark or an emotionless tease. It was rather blank, but some sort of injury had been prodded at; hurt.
"P-Pardon?" she asked, biting into her lip.
"You've been shaking and you won't look me in the eye," he paused, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Hyuuga."
Hinata winced, guilt gnawed at her insides, a cheeky little thing that grinned up at her – 'Ain't that the saddest little statement ya ever heard?'
He didn't sound evil. He didn't sound like a fierce Kazekage. He sounded nothing like Hinata pictured him sounding like. Silence and then she heard the chair move, an arm bump the desk. "You can leave."
Hinata raised her eyes to see that he wasn't towering over her, instead he was in front of the window, looking down into the street. He sounded nothing like she had pictured him sounding like. He sounded lonesome; like the last kid left in the playground after everyone went home.
"U-Um, Gaara," she started, but received no movement from him, "Would you like to uh, get to know each other?" she smiled nervously and hoped he didn't think she was trying it as some demented sort of come on.
He turned to face her, "Over s-some um, coffee?" saying that she stared squarely at the black rings around his eyes and thought better of it, "Or you know…some…t-tea?"
"Why?"
Hinata looked away and fidgeted, "Do you feel sorry for me, Hyuuga?"
Yes Hinata thought, but didn't say, still continuing to fidget. "N-Naruto…he told me that you weren't, you know…the same. I…didn't believe him," she glanced up quickly, a blank face as though he had anticipated this. "But…I, I…" she trailed off and knew that she'd dug her own grave.
After she trailed off, she didn't try to continue, having already destroyed whatever courage she had gathered. "I don't want sympathy, Hyuuga."
Her hands clenched, there it was again. The slim amount of hurt in his voice, the huskiness of his throat that gave away that he didn't want her company out of pity – it fed her guilt again.
"My name is H-Hinata."
She lifted her head and didn't try to paste a smile on her face, "I don't…want t-to pity you either, Gaara, so…um…i-in order to…to…not do that, I, I think we should h-have s-some tea or…some…thing…" Please don't think I sound like a ninny and just take the offer! Her fingers crossed and her head dropped again.
Footsteps, closer, a shadow cast over her. She looked up and was so startled to find that a hand was outstretched to her that she jumped back.
The hand stayed there, fingers curled slightly and Hinata looked up, past the arm covered by a white robe, to a face of a mature person with black ringed eyes. If she stared hard enough, she could see a little boy with a worried pout and the largest eyes she'd ever seen on a child.
Gaara was retracting his hand but Hinata grabbed it with lightning speed and clutched on tightly. Her face flared an alarmingly red cooked lobster color and she was sure that people in Konoha could hear her heartbeat. Gaara looked down at their hands and stared for a bit before nodding once and pulling her up with ease.
"So…where…do you want to go?"
Gaara blinked and cocked his head, "Let's just take a walk."
Hinata stared at him and then looked down at their hands before tugging hers from his, careful not to seem panicky or desperate to have her hand back. Her neck felt like it was being cooked. She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to rid herself of her blush, "That um, sounds good."
He opened the door and she went out first, both walking down the hall and descending from the stairs. They were out in the streets when the sun was low, casting a hazy orange across the sands and buildings. Hinata walked slowly, at an easy pace and Gaara moved at a leisure pace.
No talk was exchanged. Occasionally, her shoulder would bump into his arm, and Gaara thought of the conversations he wanted to have. The small talk that seemed frivolous to people was like some sort of unreachable little star in the sky. Gaara looked over at the small person on his left, walking beside him.
"Hinata," Hinata turned to him silently, "How do you like the weather here?"
There was a moment of silence and Hinata realized how awkward it must be for him. a little part of her murmured, 'What do you expect from the loneliest guy on the planet?'
"…It's a nice change."
Gaara nodded in acceptance at the answer, "You…You should come to Konoha, you know. I could…show you around." He looked over at her; she looked up shyly, red on her pale face again.
He nodded again, slowly, "I think…that I would like that."
She smiled at him.
And so, they talked.
-
It's not late…I haven't been lazy…-is lying- But! I did a get a job with Avon. Huzzah, I posted yet another Gaara/Hinata friendship fic (even if it was crappy, a letdown and pretty much...sucky...)!
Thank you to those who sent your words in: TSOH, creynoso, AlexiaWinters, cherry blossom rain, Beyond the Smeared Blood and Atliskflower. To others, please send in your words, no using a dictionary is not against the rules, after all, the word just has to be something not commonly used and please write the definitions as well!
Anyway, a few people requested that the definitions be put up. So, here they are:
Abattoir – a slaughterhouse
Bodhisattva – an enlightened person
Cicatrix – a scar
Diadem – sign of royalty such as a scepter or something else
Emollient – kind
Faisdodo – a sort of dance; a country dance
Gauche – lacking in social skills
Hedonism – pursuit of one's own happiness or pleasure
Idiosyncrasy – a personal mannerism
Juxtapose – to put side by side
Have a nice day folks!